#confoo

The Post JavaScript Apocalypse - Douglas Crockford

This is about JavaScript, clutter, purity, and thoughts on what should be in the language that comes after, assuming that we all live that long.

LOL, so true. Using Marie Kondo’s technique to remove clutter doesn’t work because developers are hoarders.

Crockford proposals for removing clutter:

Remove tabs because they cause more problems than they solve. Sacrilege, Linters and code beautifiers crying

Remove single quote because it’s used for apostrophe. Use double quotes instead

Use let instead of var unless you have to support IE. “Let’s just stop  doing IE” “Internet Explorer does NOT spark joy” LOL ❤

Get rid of “null” and use “undefined” - NO S!!! Tony Hoare who created null pointers estimate this was a billion dollar mistakes.

But make null an immutable object ala const

Create pure functions by removing

Date function

Math.random

delete

Object.assign

Array.splice

Array.sort

RegExp.exe

ES6 Generators is a mistake because it changes how JS works and it has weird syntax

function (callback, arguments) NOT the other way around!

Implement Contracts

Security must be a requirement instead of after thought response

I presented this at Confoo 2016 in Vancouver (schedule link).

I have more work to do to flesh out the concept of a professional desktop OS, which I touch on in this presentation.

2012 has been a fantastic conference year: for me personally and for the communities I'm involved in. I'd like to take the opportunity to go through the conferences I attended in chronological order and mention events and people that are worth mentioning.

PHPBenelux

The PHPBenelux conference is an event I'm particularly proud of because it's an event I organize myself. I say "myself", but in fact there's an entire team that makes this event happen. The 2012 edition was our 3rd edition and it seemed to be a magical one for us.

It's the first time we got genuine worldwide appreciation for the event and the approach. I'm proud to say that we put the Benelux area on the PHP map. Everyone will remember the community friendly atmosphere, the quality content and the excellent socials events.

In a couple of weeks we're having the 2013 edition. Be sure to check it out and buy your tickets.

PHPUK

The PHPUK conference in London is a must for me. I'm not exactly sure, but I think this was my 4th one in succession. I love London and I love PHPUK.

The conference is huge, you meet a lot of really interesting and influential people and the lineup is world-class.

Although I was speaking myself, for the 2nd year in a row, I don't consider myself to be world-class. Just saying ...

Thanks to Ciaran Rooney, Zoe Slattery, Franck Cassedanne and all the other guys at PHPLondon. 

The legendary things that happen at conferences are impossible to plan. Sometimes things happen and you're just fortunate to be there. We had that in London. Who remembers Lucy's birthday party we crashed? We turned it into our own little thing and me and Martin de Keijzer were DJ'ing.

Confoo

Flying accross the Atlantic to deliver a couple of talks is cool. Having people pay for your travel expenses is even cooler. It's one of the reasons why I'm so fortunate to be in the conference scene.

Confoo is one of those conferences. They're located in Montreal Canada and they run a brilliant conference. It's not purely focused on PHP, but on development in general. You meet Python and Ruby guys and it's just about technology which is very cool.

It was the second time I spoke at Confoo and I learned to appreciate the Quebec language and culture. French is my second (or third, it doesn't really matter) language and as a Belgian I have a typical accent. But the French they speak in Quebec is totally different. It's very special and I'm in love with it.

Thanks to Anna Filina and Yann Larrivee for organizing it and for guiding us around town. We went to bars, restaurants and an authentic pirate casino. Good times!

On the way back to Belgium, I managed to upgrade myself to business class. I felt good about that flight, really good!

World Hosting Days

World Hosting Days is not a community conference, it's not a development conference either. It's a business conference and although I'm more of a community guy, I feel these business conferences have their value as well.

There's a lot of money involved in that conference and that results in some rather interesting features.

The conference takes place at Europa Park in Rust (Germany). It's the biggest theme park in Europe and the conference is there just a couple of weeks before the park is open for the public.

So you have rollercoasters being sponsored by all sorts of vendors, you have a monorail you have to take between the hotel and the conference venue ... The hotels are themed and I stayed at Hotel Colosseo which is a local version of Cesar's Palace in Vegas.

There was a huge exposition hall, there were a lot of sessions and social events too. There was a typical German band playing during the beer fest and the closing event was a blast.

Europa Park's professional dancers performed showgirl alike acts, there was a boxing match and the legendary 90's Eurodance act Snap was the main attraction. Talk about an afterparty!

Thanks to Thomas Strohe for organizing it!

Whisky Web

Whisky Web wasn't supposed to happen, but fortunately it did happen!

It all started with an event called Open Source Scotland, an ambitious conference in Edinburgh that had a kick-ass lineup. Unfortunately there were some setbacks and organizational screw ups. In the end Open Source Scotland got canceled which left those who booked flights with a expenses we couldn't recover.

Luckily the local development scene stepped it up and organized a sort of in promptu conference called "Whisky Web". My friends Juozas Kaziukėnas and Paul Dragoonis made that one happen!

The venue was simply spectacular: The Hub, an old church on top of the hill next to Edinbrugh Castle. It was the first time I had to speak in a church. Talk about evangelizing.

4Developers

It was very nice to be invited to 4Developers in Poland. I had never been to Poznan or Poland for that matter. A couple of friends who spoke at the 2011 edition of this event told me I was in for a treat. Apparently Polish people are known for their hospitality.

Everything was organized to perfection: flights and accomodation were covered, got a personal airport pickup, nice speakers dinners. And everyone was very friendly!

I noticed that this event was entirely in Polish and there were only a couple of sessions in English. I didn't mind at all, but I could only attend a handful of sessions.

Thanks to Jakub Kozioł and Anna Kolodziejczyk for the professional organization.

PHPDay

PHPDay isn't really a new kid on the block, but the conference is getting more professional and well-known in the scene. It was the 2nd year in row that I could speak there. 

The event takes place in lovely Verona Italy. And as you would expect: it proved to be a very relaxing and entertaining conference. But in comparison to previous editions, the lineup was getting increasingly more impressive. 

The conference hotel features a spa and a swimming pool which we used extensively. The community vibe was really there and the event attracted a considerable amount of community leaders.

The evening events were great too: they rented a bus and took us to the historic center of Verona where we enjoyed some nice sights a great view from the bell tower and some spectacular Italian food. Damn I want to go back.

Although the sessions were really nice, I also enjoyed the hallway track and the relaxing outdoor chats near the pool.

The 2013 edition is coming up, better have a look at it!

Thanksto Alessandro Cinelli, Cesare D'Amico and Francesco Fullone for being our hosts.

Dutch PHP Conference

DPC was one of the first conferences I attended and I never missed one since. It's also the 3rd year in a row I was speaking. Exciting stuff.

DPC always has the best lineup (if you don't count PHPBenelux of course) and I've seen a bunch of spectacular talks over the years.

Amsterdam is a nice place to be in June and Martin de Keijzer and Joni Overbosch of Ibuildings are great hosts.

DrupalCon

In August I attended my very first DrupalCon. DrupalCon is a traveling circus and Munich was where the European edition was hosted in 2012. It's strange to see such a vibrant community that is remotely involved with PHP being more successful than the actual PHP community.

Nevertheless I was really happy to be there and saw some great talks. It's obvious that Drupal 8 (and the Symfony2 integration) will bring the Drupal and the PHP community closer together. 

Drupal originated in Belgium, so European Drupal events attract a lot of fellow Belgians. It goes without saying that there were a lot of relevant networking opportunities.

I'm now completely sold and I'm looking forward to future DrupalCon events. Did I say I like Munich? Luckily I have a bunch of friends there who took me around town.

PHPCon Poland

Being invited as a "special guest" at PHPCon Poland was awesome. This would be my 2nd visit to Poland in a year. This wasn't in a city like Poznan, it was more the middle of nowhere. The name of the place was "Mąchocice Kapitulne", about 3 hours from Krakow.

The fact that it was at a very remote location was actually quite nice: lots of nature, great views and an excellent closing barbecue party.

A special thank you to Filip Kłębczyk for being driving me from and to the airport and of course also to Dariusz Grzesista for organizing this event. This guy is really the heart and the soul of PHP in Poland.

PHP North West

What can I say about PHP North West in Manchester? A lot of things ... But the most important thing to say is that they are our (~PHPBenelux) big brother conference. We look up to them, we learn from them and it inspires us to organize a good conference.

This conference is a must and we decided to fly in the entire PHPBenelux crew. For me this event means a lot, it was one of the first conferences where I could display my speaking skills and I always got a lot of respect and appreciation back from the audience.

That's why I alway thank the PHPNW crowd for being so nice, interactive and respectful.

Jeremy Coates, you are a great organizer, I'm happy to know you and happy to attend your events. See you in 2013!

Future Of Web Apps

Being able to speak at FOWA is a big deal. They run a set of excellent conferences and being among such a great lineup really makes me humble. 

Cat Clark, Natasha Waldron, Davin Wilfrid and the rest of the crew are very professional. They have been organizing conferences for a while and they know how to make things happen.

The way they take care of their speakers is beyond brilliant, I have never seen anything like at and I'm looking forward to be speaking at some of their future events.

That was it! What's next?

2012 has been a very good conference year for me. I met tons of great people, learned a lot and managed to speak all over Europe (and the world). Topping this will not be so easy.

So ... what happens in 2013? Hard to say right now. I currently have 1 talk planned, but it's a jackpot talk slot: doing the closing keynote at PHP North East Conference in Newcastle in March.

I'm pretty sure a lot of speaking opportunities will occur, do check out my talks site for more info. And if it's a slow year for speaking, then a least I will attend some conferences as a regular attendee.

What's on my list of events I'd like to attend in 2013:

PHPUK

DrupalCon

Symfony Live

DPC

PHP North West

I spend a lot of my time these days really, really confused. The kind of confused where words start to lose meaning as I stare at them on the screen, trying to glean a meager morsel of insight that might finally make a problem budge. We've started to transition from the surface of Ruby down into its depths (from shallow puddle to kiddie pool), and understanding is becoming less about reading and knowing the words on the screen (vocabulary) and more about relationships, dependencies, and associations (grammar and tone).

Somehow it's always the problems with the word 'simple' in the title that seem to bend my brain the furthest, probably due to our teacher's unique sense of humor. Today while working on "Refactor SimpleCRM", a very 'simple' 33 line program, we came across the code below:

https://gist.github.com/1f80ae19c01c22b34d54

Line 14 calls 'each', which iterates over a collection, on...nothing. This may seem trivial, but after 2 weeks developing eagle eye vision for any microscopic mistakes in our code that might throw an error, this line sticks out like a massive sore thumb. And we were confused.

And we still are! After a while, this particular use of 'each' without an obvious collection became clear to us, but the rest of the code did not, at least not entirely. The gist above is not a passing solution, and after spending an hour and a half trying to successfully refactor the thing (so much for simple) we decided to let it rest and see if we can find some clarity tomorrow. But I'm enjoying the feeling of being confused. In fact, I'm relishing in it.

---

Confusion gets a pretty bad rap. It's defined as having a 'lack of understanding', but the connotations imply shame and inadequacy. Confusion is scary, and like so many other 'scary' emotions, we as a society have loaded confusion with enough negative implications to dissuade many of us from wanting to experience it, let alone wanting to seek it out.

I'd like to speak out in favor of confusion, and even suggest that a well-lived life is one spent in a semi-perpetual state of confusion. My thesis is that confusion precipitates learning, and that I shouldn't have to explain why learning is good (at least not in this post).

Confusion precipitates learning by lighting a burning desire to understand in us. When I'm confused about a problem to the point where I think I've reached an impasse, I get a deep tension in my lower back that makes me so frustrated and uncomfortable as to almost lose focus and at the very least, make me readjust my sitting position every thirty seconds. That visceral, physiological manifestation of confusion gives me something to push back against and builds a sense of urgency that ultimately boosts the sense of accomplishment that comes with understanding once it's finally relieved.

Confusion is nature's complement to curiosity. Curiosity sucks you in, but confusion is the force that gets you from awe to understanding. And I would go so far as to guess that confusion, like so many of our behaviors, has evolved to keep you alive: confusion is intoxicating and possessive- for many of us, when we're confused about something, finding an answer or explanation becomes all consuming. Being caught up in a spell of confusion forces you to find an answer, and that knowledge, which you've worked so hard to secure, gives you a better chance of surviving or thriving over someone without the capacity or drive to seek a solution out.

So why is confusion weighed down with negative implications, and not honored and respected as a sign that someone is learning? Confusion can be embarrassing, or indicate weakness, and in that regard, it takes courage to both openly admit to being confused and to have the courage to see a solution through rather than let the problem pass you by.

Like so many of our behaviors, the decision to find a solution to something that confuses you or to pass up the opportunity is habit forming, and in many respects it's much, much easier to never admit to being confused and never forcing yourself to work through a problem than to risk the shame of confusion and the chance of 'not getting it'. There have been countless times in school where out of apathy or embarrassment I haven't raised my hand to clarify a point of confusion, and it's costly.

The learning environment at DBC is designed to keep us confused, and that confusion is a powerful catalyst for learning. I've come to recognize that confusion is critical- if i'm not confused about something, that means I'm not learning. Although feeling confused all the time can be frustrating and draining, the results of our progress in two and a half short weeks speak for itself.