Apr 11, 2024
We're hardwired to remember fear best
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We're hardwired to remember fear best
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I feel like a discarded toy, that has been used and broken. I feel the to need to be played with again, it's what I was made for after all.
It molds the soul like clay, shaping beliefs and behaviors that linger long after the hands of influence have withdrawn. It's the echo of voices once dominant, the silent force that binds and shapes.
We are as crudely made tools, whittled sticks to a point, staggering to fulfill a purpose not chosen by any one of us.
We are long since been left behind by the one who carved us. Their echoes live in everyone I meet.
We are of blood and creation, unmade and remade, different and the same.
We wish we could say we are not by design, that this life is ours/mine.
But we are living still, a path unchosen by those that follow it.
And I still ask why I can't bring myself to hate the whittler.
In the depths of despair, whispers of anguish echo, as the weight of shame and sorrow suffocates the soul.
Each moment a battle, a relentless struggle against the tide of pain, drowning in the haunting memories of violation and disdain.
Torn between silence and outcry, the heart bleeds quiet, not ready to die.
Longing for solace which will never come, I continue to struggle cause the damage is done.
Yet through the tears and the torment resilience emerges, I have to fight and never give up, to battle these urges.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Invisible scars, etched in flesh and bone, Echoes of anguish, never truly alone.
A dance with shadows, a relentless fight, Seeking solace in the veil of night.
Fear is the most difficult thing to overcome
I hate that some within the system want to go back and that I feel so on edge that I am scared to lose control. I don't want to be in an abusive environment. I don't want to get hurt again. But they do. And this urge is so strong and almost got me into a dangerous situation a few weeks ago... I hate it. Especially because I know as soon as they are fronting, they will follow through with those urges.