#concierge god

"Nothing says 'I'm an entitled, arrogant, self-absorbed twat' quite like believing that your god grants you special favours, such as finding lost keys and scoring touch-downs, while at the same time allowing children all around the world to suffer and starve to death."

"Christians always say 'it's god's will' when something happens.

So, why pray to him? Are you asking him to change his all-knowing mind???"

Yes. Yes, they are.

Matthew 21:21-22

Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

A real god would be the one whose followers are murdered and raped less often, and who score more touchdowns and find their keys more often.

"I've never understood why Christians complain when all they have to do is drop to their knees, clasp their hands together, and bend the Universe to their will."

Xians like to say “aThEiStS tHiNK gOd iS LiKe a gEnIe!!”

Mark 11:22-24

And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God.

For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

Matthew 17:20

And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

Matthew 21:21-22

Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

Luke 17:6

And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.

John 14:12-14

Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.

And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.

John 15:7

If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.

Psalm 37:4-5

Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

"God" doesn't produce cures and treatments for diseases, nor does he replace limbs, organs, hearing or eyesight...

Science does.

“Believing in an interventionist, prayer-answering diety means ignoring all scientific data on prayer in favor of wishful thinking.”

-- David G. McAfee