#con depression

“Sheesh. It’s eight a.m. already,” I groaned, considering that I go to bed around that time normally from working third shift. However, it occurred to me what day it actually was. It was the first day of Colossalcon, a place I happen to have partaken in for the past 2 years prior, and I couldn’t be more excited. After a long car ride with friends, we arrived in Sandusky to prepare for the con’s magnificence. Unpacking was relatively easy and quick, and before I knew it, we arrived at the con itself. The moment I got my badge was when time slowly, but surely, picked up in speed.

From looking back at old venues of panels past to experiencing the Tokyo Attack arcade room, I caught myself not being able to be rid of the huge grin on my face (not that I wanted to in the first place). Even being able to shop in the crafts show was a nice, refreshing change of pace. 

For the next few days, it was nothing but panel hopping, tournament playing, and whimsical conversations on pretty much anything and everything in the realms of geek culture.  For once in a long while, I felt like I was able to approach others/be approached to have said conversations that seemed to stretch for hours only to have it end abruptly when a panelist was ready to take people into the room. For once in a long while, I felt confident.

I don’t mean to say my life is by far the worst thing. It’s kinda good in fact, but the world can still grade on you. When the world tells you, “You are garbage and possibly even stupid,” it gets old rather quickly. Society will work you down until there is no more bone to be had in your body, especially if you are a cleaner. When the world thinks it’s better than you because you are the one that dumps the trash and cleans bathrooms, getting away from it for a while is a much better alternative to punching those people who infer the statement. I’m glad those things happen sometimes because it makes me remember only the good things that happen. 

The worst thing about the con this year was blinking for a moment and having it all be gone. Bustling hallways of Colossal Con-Goers gave way to empty walkways, leaving me to yearn for the crowd to fill the void; full audiences becoming ghost choirs and feeling an overall sense of sadness on Sunday. The fact that time seemed to skip was eventually got to me. I couldn’t help but be overcome with a sensation of dread knowing the con was coming to an end...a pain I have become acquainted with.