No, for the fourth time, it's not pop up ads.
Ugh. So that was frustrating.
The new laptop had this issue where, if you're on headphones and start some music, or there's a sound like a notification, you'd hear this loud POP from them (it's loud enough to hurt). So I asked the ever-wise internet what was happening here. Turns out that the laptop is trying to save battery by turning the sound card OFF when not actively in use. When there's a sound, or you start playing music, or anything like that, power suddenly returns to the sound card, and this causes a static POP sound over the headphones. Great.
The solution for this problem where I found the information is from 2015 and wasn't working for me. So…I combed through every setting I could think of to turn this feature off. Power options, audio options, device options. No go.
I contacted HP support and the person does not have English as their first language, so we had a barrier here. I described the audio pop and she kept trying to solve my issues with pop up ads instead. I kept trying to tell her it was an audio issue. She wanted me to download an app so she could take control of my computer and I told her no, I just needed her help locating a SETTING. I gave up on her after she asked if I'd tried the troubleshooting options installed on my computer.
Anyway I found the solution on my own. You have to turn off USB power saving. Which, you know, a sound card is not a USB device, so I would never have found this solution on my own if I were not trying FUCKING EVERYTHING.
Posting to save anyone having a similar issue with the POP.
