(Hello! I saw RP accounts and decided to try making one of my own, so sorry if Iâm bad at it. Also, this post is prone to change !) (Used to be winter-mink) The tag: //#quoth the jay // is the mun speaking, btw! Activity times
Other blogs:
Rules (Read Before Interacting!!!)
Open RPs (always open unless stated as âclosedâ)
AU Sol Versions
Info below the cut:
Different Text Colors in RP:
Red - Sol (in whichever rp) is still HYDRA, for whatever reason (alternate universe or flashback/past Sol) or in a state like the Winter Soldier state
White - Sol is out of, or has been out of Hydra. (The main version Iâll be rping as)
Green - this AU where Hemlock (@variousvossivixens in the family post) kidnapped adopted them :D
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
//This is the entire rp that me and @purple--ponytail did together all finished and stuff. I thought those who would like to read it or whatever would have an easier time going though it with it all lined up like this... so... I hope you guys enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it with mah buddy.//
[Gabe Belongs to @inverted-mind-inc // @ask-the-nightshift]
10:30 PM. Thats the time Gabeâs alarm clock read when he was awoken by itâs blaring alarm. Having worked the nightshift the night before, Gabe had been sleeping all day to get all nice and rested up before yet another shift.
His tired eyes shifted from the clock that had been silenced, to the ceiling above him as he rolled onto his back. He laid there, his chest rising and falling while he listened to the steady hum of a small fan he had placed in his room, and the soundâs of Bryan cursing at whatever video game he was playing from the living room.
Gabe shivered a bit and reached down to grab the blanket he had kicked off him in his sleep to cover up his naked body. Gabe often times slept naked because he found it was farm more comfortable⊠and his room also sometimes could become almost unbearably hot.
Gabe didnât want to get up for work. He just wanted to remain in his bed under the warm sheets, and go back to sleep. He didnât want to face what he viewed as Godâs punishment for him. He really didnât feel good about that night⊠his anxiety had been all stern up and he hadnât been able to sleep very good all night⊠it nothing but restless sleep for him all that dayâŠ. And he would of called in sick, but Gabe had already called in sick that week⊠and he knew that Mike hated working down in that basement⊠he didnât want to disturb Mike again and have him forced to work down there⊠He usually was the only one who took Gabeâs place in that smelly basement whenever Gabe called in sick for work. He felt like it would just be rude to do that to Mike twice in a week⊠so after a few minutes of just laying there, Gabe finally decided to crawl out of bed with a sigh.Â
Still feeling a bit groggy and sluggish, Gabe rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he stumbled over to the dresser to fish out a fresh pair of underwear and stepped into them. He fetched his golden cross from his nightstand and slipped the necklace around his neck. He had his uniform all laid out and ready for him already. He slipped that on and quietly tidied up his hair.  Gabe looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. Gabe really didnât want to go to work that night. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach⊠something felt off, and it was making him a bit anxious⊠but he did his best to push aside the anxiety that had been stirred up inside him and left his room to go grab a quick bite of leftover dinner before he left for work.
Gabe really didnât have much of an appetite that night, but he knew he would need his strength for the upcoming hours of the night while dealing with the rotting Rabbit down in that godforsaken basement, so he forced himself to eat at least half of the meal on his plate.
By the time Gabe had been all done eating, getting ready for work, and having a short conversation with Bryan, it was 11:40⊠he knew he needed to get going or heâd be late.
Gabe had Bryan drive him to work that night. They drove in silence as Gabe quietly snacked on a little bag of beef jerky he had brought along just in case he got hungry on the job. Bryan pulled up into the parking lot and after a brief âSee ya later dude,â Bryan was was gone, leaving Gabe standing there alone on the curb in front of Freddys.Â
Gabe watched as Bryan drove away and softly sighed as he glanced back towards the establishment. Everything about that night just felt wrong to Gabriel⊠but he was already there, and there was no backing out of it with it being 10 minutes to his shiftâŠ. So after he murmured a small little prayer for himself to get through the night, which he hoped the lord in heaven wouldnât find to selfish of him to do, Gabriel headed towards the doorâs of Freddys to begin his night⊠though he was completely unaware of the person who had watched him the whole time he had stood there on the curb and muttered his little prayerâŠ..
There was a reason Gabe was having those bad, anxiety-filled feelings all night⊠and he was about to find out what it was.
-----
Vincent hummed after a few minutes, the drive to the other location was a bit of a long one, compared to his regular drive⊠but he didnât seem to mind. he reached to turn on the radio... a soft hum of instrumental music filled the vehicle. When he glanced up he could see the building rolling into view. âheh⊠lovely..â at least now heâd be able to grab the janitor and go. He noticed another car drive up and shut his own vehicle off, tucking the keys into his pocket, and stepped out. He watched as Gabe got out and prayed, tilting his head slightly.. Curious.Â
âšhe stepped out and over towards the other.. his purple body hidden fluidly in the night around them.. only the faint glow from his eyes were really visible. âšhe smiled a bit and stepped a bit closer. âšâwell⊠itâs a bit late for a little thing like you to be out and about THIS late.â he hummed, coming over to Gabe, one hand tucked into his pocket. âšâwonder what youâre doing at a miserable establishment like this..â he said softly, putting himself between the door, and Gabe. âš
-----
It was a bit brisk for a night in May. The cool air made Gabriel silently wish he had brought along one of his jackets to throw over his uniform and The soft glow of the moon was hidden behind some clouds, making for a rather dark night belowâŠ. the atmosphere was just⊠a bit unsettling for him.âšAs Gabe quietly walked towards the doors to Freddyâs, the young man was caught off guard by the voice that came from off from the side.âšAt first Gabe thought the owner of the voice might of been one of his co-workers⊠but as the strange man put himself in between Gabriel and the door and continued to speak, the Gabriel realized this person was no co-worker of his.
âU-umâŠ. I work hereâŠâ He explained to the stranger, âI work the nightshiftâŠ.â Rubbing his arm, he took a few small steps away from the man. Since it was so dark, he couldnât really get a good look at the stranger who was standing before himâŠbut the way the otherâs eyes seemed to lightly glow in the darkness made Gabe even more uneasy with the situation than he already was. I mean, who wouldnât be if some random dude from off the street came up to you in the middle of the night and called you a âlittle thingââŠ.. but the whole glowing eyes thing was a whole new level of creepyâŠ. he hoped it was just a trick of the light or something.Â
Gabe found it to be rather strange that some guy was lurking around Freddyâs this late at night and for him not to be actually working at Freddyâs. The only people who showed up at this hour were the guards. Gabe thought that there was a possibility that he was homeless or something like that, since there had been a few homeless people who had been hanging around in the parking lot the week previous to that one⊠but if this guy was begging for money or something, Gabe didnât have cash with him, he left all of that back at the apartment since he didnât need it.Â
-----
The man smiled softly and stepped forward a bit.âšâSeems like your ride left too, hmm?â He asked.âšâShame that..â he tsked and shook his head.âšâOh- so you work overnights too hmm?â He asked, a broad smile tugged at his lips.âšâFancy that.. i work at one of the other locations.. just not in this town.â He chuckled.Â
He stepped back just enough to lean on the wall, right beside the door.âšâSo.. I hear this place has a pretty interesting history..â he said softly, white glowing eyes still staring right up at Gabe, following him closely.. Unblinking.
-----
Gabe patiently listened to the man talk. He knew his shift was starting soon and he needed to clock in, but it wouldnât hurt to talk to this person for at least a few minutes. He had a little time to kill, but his nerves relaxed a bit as the man spoke about him also working at Freddyâs⊠though not one in that town.âšâOh uh⊠thatâs niceâŠââšGabe really isnât the best at making conversation with strangers. He tended to shy away from that and if possible, avoid talking to strangers all in all. He just got shy and kinda awkward in situations like the one he was in⊠but he would continue to try and be as polite and kind as he could to this man.âšâErm⊠yeah⊠I guess⊠though uh⊠I wouldnât know much of it⊠one of my co-workers, Richard or Charles, would probably know more about the history of the place than I do, since theyâve been working here longer than IâŠ.â he said as he rubbed his arm. Gabe did know about some things that had happened at the establishment⊠he knew about how some kids had gone missing years before⊠or at least heard rumors of thatâŠâŠ. but beyond that, Gabe was pretty clueless of the history of the place aside from the old training tapes he had to listen to when he first started his job. He wasnât really one to go about asking questions about the history of a pizzeria.
âUm⊠Iâm Gabe by the wayâŠâ he said as he moved a little closer to the man and held out his hand for the other to shake. Those white eyes continued to make Gabe feel uncomfortable⊠just the way he looked at Gabe made him feel uneasy, and nervousâŠ. Those eyes never seemed to blink. But Gabe being the type of man he was, continued to be as polite as possible to the man⊠and tried to avoid eye contact as much as possible.
-----
He tilted his head and smiled. âšâRichard or Charles, hunh?â He asked.âšâFunny.. I havenât seen them in ages⊠or well.. Richard at least.. I believe I met Charles twice?â He pondered, more to himself.âšâRegardless.. I donât suppose either of them are here tonight hmm?â He asked, after taking Gabeâs hand and shaking it.
His grip was cold as death, and yet somehow still firm.âšHe only accepted Gabeâs name.. never returning his.âšâGabe hmm? That certainly doesnât seem fitting to someone like you.â He hummed, tilting his head.
âSomeone stuck working nights with the rest of us lowly dregs.â He chuckled softly. âšâIt seems more of a kind man.. a uh.. a holier man..â he nodded, before gesturing at the younger mans cross.âšâAh, and there it is.â
-----
âNo⊠they arenât.. sorry.â He said. Knowing that this strange man knew Richard and Charles was a bit more of a reassurance for him that he could trust him⊠at least a little bit⊠especially with the fact that he knew Charles.
It didnât slip Gabeâs attention that the mans hand was extremely cold. Almost felt lifeless in his own soft, warm hand, which was thriving with life⊠but he guessed it could of just of been since the night was a bit chilly and cold. Either that or the guy just mustâve had really bad circulation to his handsâŠâšA shy little blush crept across Gabeâs face at Vincentâs observation of himself and his hand found itâs way around the golden cross that hung from his neck and lightly squeezed it in his hand. âWell⊠I am CatholicâŠâ he said as he softly rubbed his thumb over the cross he was clutching in his palm.
 "But⊠um⊠the only reason I really have this job is because my friend, and roommate, helped get me a position here as a guard after I moved here from EnglandâŠâ he said, a light smile tugging at his lips. "The job maybe a bit cruddy⊠but it helps get things payed forâŠ.â he said with a small shrug.
âSpeaking of which, my shift starts in a few minutes⊠and I donât want to be late.. so um⊠if you would excuse me, I should probably get goingâŠ.â
-----
he tilted his head with a smile.Â
âhmm really?â he asked softly, reaching over to pat the others shoulder.Â
âActually⊠tonight, Iâm here to inform you that⊠may not be an option.. youâve uhm⊠youâve been given the night off..â he said, his tone went much deeper, and far more ominous..Â
before Gabe could even blink, Vincent was on top of him, a solid whack to the side of the head, and Gabe found the ground against his head.. the purple man standing over him.Â
he chuckled softly, and he reached down to grab the other mans arms, bringing the poor dazed man to his nearby car.Â
once there, he pressed Gabe to the floor, with his shoe in the others back, and began to work on tying his hands together, behind his back.
 -----
Gabe was about to protest when he felt the sudden impact of Vincentâs fist colliding with the side of his skull. He let put a yelp but before he could even scream for help or let alone make any more noises, he felt Vincentâs fingers curl into his hair, and force him down to rather roughly smack his head against the hard pavement.Â
Dazed and rather taken back by the sudden collisions from both the pavement and Vincentâs fist, Gabe was pretty easy to drag back to the car.
âN-no..â he tried to protest squirming a bit in Vincentâs arms, trying his damn best to twist his wrists out of Vincentâs grasp, but Gabe really was helpless against Vincent in those moments.
Gabeâs head was swimming with pain. He could hear ringing in his ears and he knew there was blood trickling down the side of his face from the impact from the concrete. Gabe squirmed and struggled to the best of his dazed ability, but in the end, Vincent got his hands bound together with minimal troubleâŠ. and without any warning, Gabrielâs vision went dark and he suddenly blacked outâŠ.
Gabriel was entirely at the mercy of Vincent now, and there was nothing he could do about it.
-----
he groaned when Gabe passed out.. great.. dead weight.
the kid wasnât even in the back of his car yet!
with a rough grunt, he had the unconcious main the the back of his car, and casually stepped around to the front, getting in the drivers seat, after closing Gabes door.
the drive home was long⊠it was surprisingly quiet.. Vincent even made sure to keep his music down to keep Gabe comfortably asleep..Â
he could hear the other stirring occasionally, and even got out to buckle the other in.. restraining him with the seatbelts as well, until he blacked out again.
although when he got home, and pulled into the Garage, he got out slowly, and closed the door behind him quietly.. he got out, and made his way to the door, opening it up and headed inside.. the least he could do was prepare his special room for Gabe⊠after all, this was going to be one hell of a night for the younger man.. one her certainly wasnât going to see the end of.Â
-----
Gabe remained asleep through most of the car ride, only the rise and fall of his chest indicating he was alive and him occasionally stirring in his sleepâŠ. but Gabe didnât move when Vincent left the car and left him in there while he went to prepare his room. Not until 30 minutes later, when Gabriel really started to regain his consciousness.
The last thing He remembered was being dragged towards this strangers car before everything went black. What had happened before wasnât fully registering in Gabrielâs mind. He opened his eyes but his vision was very hazy and unclear⊠Like trying to look through a windshield that has been frosted over⊠Those silver eyes of his forced themselves shut again as he tried to keep himself calm and tried to recollect what had happened before he had been abductedâŠ.
He remembered the man, the conversation they had outside of freddys, those seemingly glowing white eyes which never seemed to move off of him⊠He wondered if he had provoked the man in any way to act out like he did.. but Gabe had been nothing but kind to him last he could remember⊠He partially wondered if him being Catholic had anything to do with him being taken since that was one of the last things he had told The man about himself before the attack happened.
He was laying on his side on the back seat of the car still with his ankles and wrists tried together and was restrained by seat belts which had been sloppily wrapped around him in an attempt to keep him from falling out of the seat or from moving too much. He was still barely regaining consciousness but after a few blinks and deep breaths later, the haziness of the car cleared and allowed him to take in his surroundings. It was dark, and he could make out the fact that he was in the back of someoneâs car in a garage. His captor was no where in sightâŠ.
His head was still pounding with pain, and the blood that had been dripping down the side of his face had dried to a crust, which was a bit itchy. He let out a soft, low groan as he shifted his body. His neck was a bit sore from the way he had be positioned.
Instantly He knew what his main propriety was; escape. He tugged at the bindings on his hands. There was some slack there. whoever had tied him up had also left a short strand of tape between his wrists. He could move a little and the bindings didnât interfere with his circulation. The person who was his captor was either kind, or had not had much practice with tying people up.Â
So, fiercely he tried to snap the duct tape by forcing his wrists apart, only to be abruptly stopped by the sound of the door that led out into the garage from the house, opening.
-----
There was a cheerful humming that came from the man as he entered the garage.. he had a proper apron on, with little kitty prints all over it, and a damp cloth over his shoulder.
He came to the car and opened the door, still humming to some music coming from inside the house.
He knelt down in front of Gabe and slid the cloth from his shoulder, wiping the blood off with a few cheery dabs.
âBout time you came round.. albeit a bit earlier than i would have liked, but i can manage.â He hummed, wiping under Gabes eyes too..
The scent Vincent had trailing him was that of a juicy roast.. still in the process of being cooked, mind.Â
After he was satisfied in cleaning up Gabes face, he reached to untangle him from the belts and slide his hands out of the tape.
âHope that didnt dig in too much.â He said, taping apart Gabes ankles soon after.
âThere. I presume you can still walk?â He asked, stepping back to let Gabe up.
-----
Gabe debated on weather or not he should pretend to still be asleep as he listened to the footsteps approaching the car⊠but he pondered the idea a bit too long and the door opened and Vincent was able to see that Gabe was well awake.Â
The younger man winced a bit when Vincent pressed the cloth to his face and dabbed up the blood on the side of his face, half execting to be hit again or something, only to have the cloth strokes against the side of his face to remove the sticky, but kinda crusty blood from the side of his face.
He wanted to say something, anything, ask where he was, why he was there, what this guy was planning on doing with him⊠but honestly, he was too scared to speak right now. But honestly, who wouldnât be. He was at some persons house, probably miles and miles away from his home, and this guy very well could do harm to GabeâŠno one would even know Gabe was missing till after his shift was overâŠ. and the likelyhood of them even being able to locate gabriel was slimâŠâŠ gabe was terrifiedâŠ.though the kitty print apron took away from the whole menacing look this white eyed guy had going on.
 All Gabe could do was meekly nod at Vincentâs words as the tape was removed from his wrists and ankles. As Gabe sat up from the seat, Gabriel winced again and put a trembling hand to his head. The pain in his head worsened with him sitting up. He took a shaky, deep breath, and avoided eye contact with this man and stepped out of the car. He half contemplated attacking the man⊠maybe if he acted now he could get some soft of advantage over him and somehow knock him out⊠but Vincent was taller than Gabriel was⊠and definitely appeared to be stronger⊠Gabe wasnât sure of his own strength would be enough to fight off the man⊠and the pain in his head was somewhat cluttering his thoughts. He decided for now, it would be the best to listen to this guy. Gabeâs hand found it's way around the golden cross that hung from his neck⊠that provided at least a small bit of comfort to Gabrielâs nerves.
-----
 He chuckled when Gabe got up, and patted his back softly.
âGood job.â He hummed, stepping back to lead the other inside.
âSo.. i made dinner..â he said softly.Â
âNot sure how you feel about roast.. so.. i made sure to make some veggies too.â He ruffled the others hair.
âThough uh.. considering that injury, im not going to be able to let you sleep for quite some time.â He helped Gabe up the stairs patiently.
âDont uh⊠donât get too impatient with dinner though, we still have another 20 minutes..â he guided the other through his rather extravagant house.. the high ceilings must have came off as very intimidating to those who werenât used to it.
The kitchen was no better.. luscious marble counters, and huge stainless steel cooking appliances..
-----
Gabe quietly followed the man into the house, his heart was pounding in his chest rather rapidly as they stepped inside the home and the door to the garage shut behind Gabe. It was at this time that Gabe was really able to take in Vincentâs purple appearance. Since both outside and in the garage were pretty dark, Gabe hadnât previously been able to really make out much of this man whoâs name he still didnât know⊠He wondered if the guy dumped a bucket of purple paint on himself or something⊠he wasnât going to ask anything about it though⊠he didnât want to be rude and upset this guyâŠÂ
When the purple man mentioned that he made dinner, Gabe arched an eyebrow. That, he had not been expecting. âUhm⊠Th-thank youâŠ.thats awfully kind of youâŠâ he said, forcing himself to speak, trying his hardest not to let his voice quiver with fear, and trying to be as polite as possible. Even in a rather sketchy situation, such as the one he was currently in, Gabe remained kind, and polite⊠though really he was just trying to not aggravate his captor in any way. He didnât want to be hit again. His head hurt enough already as it was.
Seriously though, what type of a guy kidnaps someone and decides to have dinner with the person they kidnapped?! There was very obviously something wrong with this purple man or something. Someone just doesnât do that.
Now taking in his surroundings, he was kinda in aw. This place was huge. Vincentâs rather extravagant and luxurious house made Gabe and Bryanâs apartment look like a matchbox.  âWowâŠâ he mumbled as he let his eyes wander around the place, no longer stuck staring at the purple man. It had been a while since he had been in a house as nice as the one they were walking through. The scent of the cooking roast got stronger as they approached the kitchen⊠it was honestly making his mouth water. He hadnât noticed before, but he was pretty hungry. Gabe really hadnât eaten much before he had left for work, so this was understandable. âYour house is amazingâŠâ he said as they entered Vincentâs grand kitchen.
 -----
he glanced over to Gabe, silently appreciating how Gabe was actually being a decent participant to this.Â
as he walked Gabe over to the normal sized dining table, he sat down across from him.. hands folded on the rich darkwood surface.Â
âso.. you said your name was Gabe?â he asked.
âoh- and uhm⊠would you like something to drink?â he asked..Â
âiâve water, milk⊠toast, orange juice, and various wines and spirits if youâd like.â he offered, moving to get up..Â
it seemed as though the man had enjoyed entertaining guests like this, so there was a cheerful preparedness to his voice.Â
âbut uhm.. if you like, feel free to take a look around.. we still have quite a time before everythingâs done..âÂ
he had rushed in earlier, to fix up one of the downstairs rooms, of course..Â
a basement bedroom that had been refurbished into a sex dungeon.. which doubled as a murder room for Vincent.Â
at least he kept it well and tidy enough.Â
but Gabe would find that out later.
for now, Gabe could bask in the huge biulding⊠a large stairway going upstairs to the master bedroom, and bathroom and upstairs living room and study was there, as well as a cozy looking Den.
on the main floor was a few more bedrooms, two bathrooms, a sizable closet, and another room, that had been turned into a library..
downstairs, was a mini-theatre and a comfortable bar and rumpus room..
there was a cozy sauna tucked away.
from there, there was another bedroom, a large music room, and a storage room, that lead into the houses utility closets..Â
all in all this house was a bit too much for just one manâŠÂ
but if he had the money and the time to sustain it, then why not keep it.
it was his parents house after all.Â
-----
 Gabe gently shook his head. âNo⊠no Iâm okay⊠thank you thoughâŠâ He said softly as he awkwardly rubbed his arm. Gabe didnât take a seat at the table⊠at least not yet⊠He kinda wanted to take a look around the house, mainly to see if he could find a way out of there.
Vincent was technically allowing him to wander on his own. âIâll just⊠look around a bit⊠if you donât mindâŠâ He said as he backed out of the kitchen, leaving Vinecnt in the kitchen and going back into the main hall.
He knew he needed to approach this calmly.. He couldnât start panicking yet⊠He knew there had to be a way out of the placeâŠ. He was partially hoping the front door to the place would be side open and he could just slip out of the house and run to someplace nearby like a neighbor and beg for helpâŠ
Gabriel however, had ended up finding his way into the library. He was pleasantly surprised by the vast array of books that lined the walls. âWowâŠâ He mumbled again. This house really was quite impressive. If Gabe had been in different circumstances, he probably would of puruzed through the vast selection of books to chose from. But his main focus now was to escape.. or at least find a good escape route if things started to turn bad for him.Â
He looked around hoping to find a phone or something so that he could try his best to contact Bryan⊠though, given the time of it being like 2 in the morning, Bryan was likely to be asleep.
Then it occurred to him that he still had his walkie-talkie clipped to his belt. It was a requirement for him to have it on him at all times at work. He bit his lip and unclipped the device from his belt and quickly turned it on. The sound of static came though the box. He hoped Vincent was too busy with the roast to notice the sound since the library wasnât too far from the kitchen. Gabe bit his lip and pressed down the button. âJeremy? Jeremy are you there?â He whispered into the walkie talkie and he pressed the button down. He knew Jeremy was working that night⊠he just wasnât sure if he was within range of the pizzeria for the walkie talkie to work.. or even if jeremys radio was on. He bit his lip before he moved his finger of the button and waited and listened for a response. All that came though was static. His heart sank. At least he tried. He shut the radio off and clipped it back to his belt. So much for that plan. He really wished he hadnât of gone to work that night. If he had just of called in sick, he probably wouldnât be inn the position he was inâŠ. but then again, if he hadnât of been taken, it was possible that Mike could of been taken in his place since he was the one who usually got called in if Gabe didnât show up or called in sickâŠ. and Gabe didnât want that to happen.
-----
He smiled, hearing Gabe wander around the house.. the sound of radio static, however, made Vincents ears twitch.
He chuckled and walked out to meet the other in the library..Â
his footsteps were silent, so when Gabe turned to the door, Vincent was leaning on the frame.
âHeh.. yeah, walkie talkies are short range, my friend.â He hummed, crossing his arms over his chest.
 -----
Gabriel just about jumped out of his skin at hearing the voice of Vincent behind him. Gabe whirled around to face the purple man, a dark blush of embarrassment slowly crawling across his cheeks as he rubbed his arm. Crap, was all he could really think as he stood there looking at the man, his voice caught in his throat for a moment before he forced a nervous little smile⊠though that blush of embarrassment refused to leave his faceâŠ
âe-eheâŠum⊠rightâŠ. It⊠it didnât hurt to try thoughâŠâ he said in a small voice⊠which was true. It didnât kill to try. At least now he knew he was no where near the pizzeriaâŠ. if he wanted to call some help, he was going to need to get his hands on a phone.
Gabe however, didnât want to let Vincent speak after that small remark he made to Vincent⊠ he decided to change the topic rather quickly and shift it from the obvious fact that Gabe was looking for a way to contact someone to help him, to something else. âU-um..You have an Impressive amount of books⊠do you read a lot?â He asked⊠as he shifted his eyes to one of the nearest cases of books. He knew how many people seemed to like to talk about themselves. With some people, thats all they ever did. But there was no better topic changer than to ask someone something about themselves.
-----
He smirked and tilted his head, coming over to the other, and laid an arm around his shoulder.
âHeh.. while i do appreciate your interest in my library⊠its filled with more collectible books than leisure reading books.â He shrugged.
It was evident that Vincent may have been privy to what Gabe was trying to do, but he was determined to not let the other onto him.Â
Instead.. heâd play with the poor soul until he were due.
âI have a more.. leisure library in the den.â He hummed, guiding the other around the room.
All the while, Vincents white eyes seemed to be watching Gabe intensely..Â
Although it was impossible to tell.
-----
Gabrielâs body tensed up when Vincentâs arm wrapped around his shoulders. He bit his lip as he was guided around the room.
Gabe jus felt so indescribably on-edge with this man. It was like he was waiting constantly for something to happen with himâŠ..whether it was good, or bad. He almost felt like at any moment this guy should snap and he would be brutally  murdered or something⊠thatâs why he was trying his hardest not to upset or disrespect Vincent in any way, shape, or form. Though Vincent had done absolutely nothing to hurt gabe yet (other than the fact that he had knocked him out when he had first been kidnapped), and he had been actually a really good host, Gabe continued to be wary towards Vincent.
âThats niceâŠâ he said with a gentle smile as he let Vincent guide him. âUm⊠pardon my asking but⊠do you live here all alone? This place is so big⊠itâs hard to imagine you possibly living here on your ownâŠâ He was asking this partially out of curiosity⊠but also because he wanted to keep the conversation flowing somehowâŠÂ
-----
he nodded and walked with Gabe towards the door, glancing out at the nearby grandfather clock.Â
âi do indeed.â he hummed.Â
âkilled my parents when i was a wee kid⊠and wound up inheriting the place because of it.â he said, his tone so light an casual.Â
âbut uh- speaking of which, dinnerâs ready..â he said with a smile, walking towards the kitchen.Â
âhope you brought your appetite~â he flashed the other a wink and disappeared around the corner into the kitchen hallway.Â
âoh- donât forget to wash up.â he called back to Gabe.Â
as Gabe would soon discover.. the few phones Vincent did have at the house, were the wireless variety.. their little charging stations picked here and there.. one for each level of the house..Â
although the phones themselves were nowhere to be found.Â
taken and hidden from his⊠guest.Â
while Vincent was back in the kitchen, he took to setting the table⊠even going so far as to light a candle and dim the overhead lights.Â
tonight was going to be a special, special occasionâŠÂ
-----
Gabe looked to Vincent, rather alarmed by his confessionâŠ. and the way he said it siggested he flet no remose whatsoever about him murdering his parents. Gabe may not of had the best parents himself, but he could never imagine himself killing either of themâŠ. killing was one of the worst sins out thereâŠ.just thinking about that caused gabe to lightly run his fingers over the banagded part of his arm where he cut himself, should he ever sinâŠ.but really Gabeâs heart sank at the confession of this man that he murdered his parents. Gabriel had been hoping and praying that there was no chance this guy was going to hurt him⊠And that this guy was just lonely or something and decided to kidnap Gabe cuz he needed a friend or something⊠the way he made him dinner kinda made him hopeful of this possibility. That the guy didnât properly know how to make friends and so he kidnapped people to try and make friends with themâŠ. but Gabeâs hope had been diminished by the manâs startling confession.
 Gabriel swallowed dryly and just nodded his head at Vincent. His nerves were making him anxious and stressed⊠And that could be made obvious by the way he looked at Vincent. It was like anxiety was radiating off his body. He had tried to keep himself calm the entire time⊠but right now, he was a wee bit panicked. He couldnât imagine what type of a monster would kill his own parents⊠even if his parents were awful people, those were human lives he endedâŠ.
Gabe did as Vincent said and washed up before dinner. Though while coming back from the bathroom he came across one of the charging stations for one of those wirless phone⊠though, much to his disapointment, the phone was goneâŠ.Â
After, He quietly walked to the table and took in the scene. The candle and dimmed lights made an almost romantic feel too it⊠but given the circumstances, Gabe actually felt kinda sick, and had lost his appetiteâŠ. but he would force himself to eat what Vincent had made him anyways.. He didnât want to be rude, even if he was in the presence of a murderer. Gabriel quietly took his seat at the table while he nervously twiddle his thumbs and took some slow, deep calming breaths to try and keep himself calm and collected.
-----
He hummed, taking a few more minutes in the kitchen, before he came out with a fully cooked roast on an elegant platter.
He placed it down in front of Gabe and pulled out a large knife from seemingly nowhere.
He stuck it into the steaming meat and returned to get the rest of their dinner.
To say this man went overboard was an understatement..
Fabric napkins folded neatly under the cutlery, and a set of wine glasses waited to be used.
After bringing out the Veggies, Vincent leaned on his own chair.
âSo- care for something to drink?â He asked.
âI have a vintage red merlot from the 60s.. it has a funky flavour to it, but i like to think thats the charm of the era showing through.â He glanced back.
âActually.. what kind of a man are you? Do you take alcohol or the straight stuff?â He asked, his full attention on Gabe once again.
-----
Gabe stared at the roast on the table. The aroma of the meat was heavenly and seemed to fill the entire room. However, Gabe flinched when Vincent stabbed the large knife into the roast. He watched as Vincent walked back into the kitchen to go and retrieved the veggies.
Despite how scared Gabe was inn the situation he was in, he wouldnât help but notice how overboard Vincent had gone with the dinner. The lighting, the roast, the napkins. Everything was extremely fancy. He felt very out of place sitting there in his guard uniform. He honestly felt like he should be wearing a tux⊠like this was some fancy date.Â
When Vincent returned and leaned on his chair and asked what Gabe would like to drink Gabe just shook his head, âIâm not really a uh.. fan of alchohol. If you donât mind, Iâll just have a glass of water, pleaseâŠ.â Gabe didnât mind drinking alcohol or anything like that⊠but Gabe figured it wouldnât be a good idea to drink anything alcoholic right nowâŠ
-----
 He smiled a bit and slid off his apron, draping it on the back of his chair.
âAlright then~â he said cheerfully, reaching to take Gabed glass.
Having some alcohol in him probably would have been wise.. to help dull his senses to what was coming now.. but Vincent wasnt about to spoil the surprise.
He came back in a few moments later.. a glass of water for Gabe, and a sizable pitcher with ice inside.
He picked up his own glass and slipped out to get himself some milk.
âDig in Gabe! No need to be shy.â He called from in the kitchen, the sound of the fridge closing could be heard.
-----
Gabe took a deep breath and reached for the knife and pulled it out of the meat carefully so not to fling food anywhere. He then grabbed his fork to help him transport a few pieces of the nice and juicy meat from the plate in the middle of the table, to the plate that had been positioned in front of him. Gabe, however, didnât get to eating right away. Normally he would of waited for everyone to get to the table before praying, but He wasnât sure if Vincent was the religious type⊠but he wasnât going to ask⊠So the young man set down the fork and knife and bowed his head and folded his hands before muttering the usual small prayer he said before eating dinner.Â
âBless us oh Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from they bounty, through Christ, Our Lord. AmenâŠâÂ
Praying always brought comfort to GabrielâŠ. and he really truly could use some prayer because of what was happening now to him. He really hoped the lord in Heaven would help him get though his time in that mansion in one piece. He wanted to see the face of his best friend again⊠to feel the touch of Kevin again⊠hell, he would be happy even if he was able to return to his crummy jobâŠ. he just wanted to get through this and hoped that he could get out of the situation unharmed.
After he mumbled his little prayer, Gabriel picked back up his fork and used the knife to cut up the meat. He stabbed the fork into the juicy meat and brought it to his lips. He blew lightly on it, since some steam was rising from it, but he then parted his lips to take the hot piece of meat in his mouth. The beef was just as good as it smelled. Juicy and tender, and not too tough. All in all, it was delicious. After swallowing down his first bite of the meat Gabe called over into the kitchen to Vincent, âThis is really really goodâŠâÂ
-----
Vincent made his way back to the dining area when he saw Gabe lower his head and begin praying.
He stepped back out to give the other his privacy..
So he really was a religious man-
Interesting.
He waited a moment or so more, before he came in, smiling softly when he saw Gabe cut into the roast.
He came to sit down and set hia milk down on the table.
âHeh.. glad you like it.. i tried a new way of spicing it.. so im hoping the flavour sunk in.â He said softly, cutting off a few pieces for himself as well.
He took some mashed potatoes and a heaping helping of corn niblets.
-----
Gabe nodded softly at Vincent âWell.. its.. very very good..â The young man took a few more bites of the delicious meat before he picked up his glass of water. Water droplets clung to the glass like little tears that would every so often stream down the side of it. He brought the cool liquid to his lips and took a sip of it. It was cool and nice and refreshingâŠ. Honestly drinking water worked wonders on that headache he had developed from earlier. Speaking of, Gabeâs head was no longer bleeding from the impact of his head to the concrete. Though it would be sore, and the already purplish blue color of the skin that surrounded the place of impacts suggested it was going to be pretty badly bruised. The pounding pain in his head had dulled, though it was still there, it wasnât quite as disorienting as it had been before.
Gabe set the refreshing glass of water down onto the table and stared down at his plate for a moment. As he sat there and looked at it, a rather gruesome idea crossed Gabrielâs mind, making his stomach churn at the thought of it. He really prayed to god that what he was eating was actually what Vincent claimed it to be, and not something else⊠Gabeâs silver eyes found themselves wandering up towards Vincent briefly to watch him eat his own food for a moment..
Well, he thought, at least I know the foods not poisoned.
Knowing he should finish his dinner, or at least what he had on his plate, Gabe quickly tried to push the thought from his head and picked back up his fork. He quietly ate up more of what was on his plate, which was just the meat, he didnât really touch anything else. Gabeâs appetite had shrunk even more after the little thought crossed his mind.Â
-----
As Vincent ate, he didnât seem to take notice of the others lack of interest in dinner..
No⊠instead, he ate peacefully and glanced up to Gabe.Â
âSo.. whyâs a pretty lad like yourself working at fazbears.. of all places.â He asked, scooping up some mashed potatoes in his fork, after having blended them with his corn.
âCertainly you could have found a better job then that, hunh?â He said, pausing to speak between mouthfuls.
He didnt take long to clear his own plate, helping himself to more of the roast..
âAny⊠goals, or.. ambitions?â He asked softly.
-----
Gabe softly shook his head. âErm.. no.. no not really⊠um⊠like i was saying earlier, when I first moved to America, my roommate Bryan kinda helped me get the job⊠It pays good enough⊠and i just⊠never really leftâŠâ He wasnât going to mention how he felt like the whole job was his punishment from God to himself⊠he didnât want the other to find him weird or anything like that, or look at him like he was delusional.Â
âItâs uh⊠itâs not that bad of a jobâŠ.â He said as he pushed his food around on his plate with his fork⊠though, anyone could tell that he wasnât being totally truthful. Gabe just kept everything he had experienced at the place to himselfâŠ.
After a few moments of silence passed Gabriel looked back up at Vincent, âWhat about you?âŠ. you uh⊠you mentioned you worked at another location in a different town⊠Why do you work there?â
-----
he smiled and looked down into his mashed potatoes, raking his fork through them slowly.Â
âheh.. well.. if itâs not that bad of a place, that good to hear then⊠iâve heard some pretty strange stuff about some of these other locations..â he said softly, scooping up the carefully decorated potatoes, eating them.Â
âbut uh- i work there.. yeah, but iâm more of a part time set up.. they donât particularly need me there, but i work with our daytime security guard⊠the both of us have been there sinceâŠ. well, since this new brand took off.â he shrugged, leaning back in his seat..
even with his head down, towards his plate, those eyes of his seemed to still be following Gabe.Â
-----
âOh um⊠Thatâs nice.â he said softly before he brought his fork up to his mouth and ate up the last piece of meat from his plate. He didnât reach for anymore. He was pretty full already⊠he didnât want to force himself to eat anymore than he already had after losing his appetite.
âMust be nice working the dayshift⊠I only ever work nightsâŠ.â He said, setting down his fork and looking up towards Vincent. He couldnât help but feel like those unsettling eyes still rested on him, even with his head downâŠ.Â
âI uhâŠI usually only work in the basement⊠I keep an eye on things down there⊠just⊠to make sure things donât catch on fire or that no one tries messing around with anything down thereâŠâ He wasnât going to mention Springtrap⊠that would lead into a real long story that he didnât want to touch right now. âItâs really kinda a boring jobâŠâ He admitted, though he wasnât being totally truthful again.Â
âUm.. dinner was delicious by the way⊠thank youâŠâ Gabriel said before he dabbed the corners of his mouth with the napkin that had been set out for him. He set the napkin down on his empty plate along with his fork and the knife stood up to scoop up his plate into his hands. He headed over to the sink and set the plate down in it.Â
ââŠby the wayâŠâ He said, glancing back over his shoulder towards Vincent, âI.. donât think I ever got your nameâŠ"
-----
He chuckled a bit and glanced up to Gabe, his eyes finally fully facing the other.
âHeh⊠you watch the basement hunh?â He asked softly, prodding at the bit of roast on his plate with his fork.
âHeh.. must be something down there if they have a watchman for the basement yeah?â He asked softly.
âIts not often a company will spend money putting someone in an.. almost useless position if they dont have a good reason for it.âÂ
Vincent was a bit smarter than he let on..
-----
Gabe bit his lip softly. It didnât slip his attention that Vincent completely ignored his question and pushed it off to the side. This guy really did refuse to give him his nameâŠ. he wasnât going to question him further. The guy was making an obvious attempt to keep his name from Gabe.Â
Gabriel gave a small little shrug as he made his way back to the table to sit down and wait for Vincent to finish up eating. Gabe wasnât sure what this guy had planned for them after dinner, but he was quietly praying he would just take him home.Â
âU-Um⊠well⊠ I-I meanâŠ. there is an old animatronic down there that I keep an eye onâŠ. it⊠it doesnât really do anything, but I just need to make sure no one tries messing with itâŠ.â it was kinda obvious Gabe was withholding some more information about his job and wasnât being entirely truthful by the way he couldnât look Vincent in the eyes. He didnât like lying. It made him feel bad⊠not only that but lying is a sin, and he would have to add another cut to his arm for each lieâŠ. but, he would worry about that later. He had other things to worry about now.Â
-----
he glanced up to Gabe and chuckled,
âan animatronic hunh? so you get your own murder pet to play with too..â he finished off his potatoes and pushed his plaate forward slowly.Â
âheh⊠to think a cute little thing like you has to worry about those damned things.â he shook his head.Â
âbreaks my heart.â he said, getting up.
he walked over to Gabes side of the table, laying a hand on his shoulder.Â
âif you like.. i could offer you a way out of that⊠abysmal place.â he offere,d smiling down on the other.Â
-----
Gabriel arched an eyebrow at Vincentâs remark. So, this guy did know about the whole animatronic thing⊠he wondered if they had the same problem with the animatronics at his location. âYou⊠you know about that?â He asked softly as he nervously twiddled his thumbs together.Â
âthe job⊠its⊠its not that bad⊠things could be worseâŠâ He said, his voice momentarily trailing off as he turned the offer over in his mind. The job really was awful⊠He was just trying his hardest to be optimistic about what he had to do. Besides. What could a guy, who didnât seem to be entirely mentally healthy, have to offer Gabe?
âum⊠whatâŠ. do you have in mindâŠ?â he curiously asked as he glanced up towards the man. He could at least hear this guy out⊠it wouldnât kill him.
-----
He smiled and shrugged, bringing one of the chairs over to sit beside Gabe..
âActually.. we have to deal with those⊠things.. at our location too.. yknow.. as bad as a reputation as fazbears has.. it would make bank as a horror place.â He smiled to Gabe.
âBut yeah, i know what goes on with some of these locations..â he looked ahead to the doorway to the kitchen.Â
âIve been to many of these places.. ive felt what goes on at them.. but they all have different.. yet eerily similar stories. â he said softly.
He shook his head.
âAnyway.. enough about that.. donât want to ruin the mood after all.â He chuckled, nudging Gabeâs shoulder.
âOh - and thank you for explaining pansexuality... I knew what it was already, but its nice to have conformation.â He smiled to the other.
âAs for what you can do hereâŠâ he trailed off.. thinking.
-----
Gabriel offered a small , understanding smile. âWell⊠Iâm sorry you have to deal with those things as well⊠they uh⊠arenât the most fun to deal withâŠâ Gabe admitted.Â
âI mainly just deal with the one in the basement though⊠a rabbit⊠heâs called Springtrap. Heâs supposed to be apart of the whole⊠horror attraction thing they have going on down thereâŠbut uh⊠yeahâŠâÂ
Gabe seemed to be much more giving to information now that he knew that Vincent and his fellow co-workers at the location he worked at had to deal with the same thing he did. âI know most of the other locations have uh⊠the main four animatronics and stuff butâŠ. do you guys also happen to have a rotting rabbit in your basementâŠ. or is that only us..?â Gabe was just curious. He had never actually spoken to another worker from any of the other locations before or visited any of the other locations⊠It was kinda interesting to learn that some of the other places had similar happenings in them. He was completely unaware of that until now.Â
Gabe didnât mind the change of topic however, he softly shrugged as he looked at Vincent âand uh.. no problem⊠People regularly ask me what being pansexual is so⊠Iâve just.. kinda gotten use to having to explain what it isâŠ.â He said with a small small.Â
When Vincent started to think up of things Gabriel could do, Gabe looked at the man, wondering what exactly he had in mind for himself. This guy was trying to offer him a way out of his godforsaken job⊠Gabe was kinda intrigued to see what he had to propose to him, but he didnât want to be an inconvenience or anything to the man.. âyou know⊠you uh⊠really donât need to help meâŠ.â he said as he softly rubbed the back of his neck. âIâm holding up okay at FazbearsâŠâ
-----
He smiled and shook his head.
âYou have a Springtrap too hunh? Had one too many run ins with that crunchy rabbit.â
Saying this, he reached over to cut off another piece of roast, eating it like that.
âMmh- yeah⊠we have one. Although hes uh⊠heâs not in our basement..â he shrugged.
Granted he was still behind that damned wall in the pizzeria, but it certainly made Vincentâs life (or lack thereof) easier.
He chuckled and shook his head.
âIt sounds like youâd rather not want an out if there.â He said, biting off another piece of meat.
-----
Our Springtrap is⊠not very niceâŠâ He said as he softly shrugged and rubbed his arm âand⊠I mean⊠of course I want to leaveâŠ.  The job puts my life on the line and I have asthma attacks way too often since my boss wonât let me bring my inhaler to workâŠ.. and thatâs really not good for my healthâŠ.â He said with a small sigh, âIts just⊠I dunno⊠I donât understand why you would even remotely want to help meâŠâ he said as he turned his gaze away form Vincent and back toward the roast. âTo be honest, Youâre confusing me pretty badlyâŠ. first you⊠pretty much kidnap me⊠then you make me dinner and try and help me get out of my job⊠youâre giving me some very mixed messagesâŠ.â he admitted. Which was true. The longer he spent with this man, the more confused he got by him and his motives. What was the point to all this?!Â
-----
he smiled a bit and reached down to ruffle the others hair softly.Â
âwellâŠ. maybe youâre not supposed to understand.â he hummed, combing his fingers through the younger mans hair, parting it from his eyes.Â
âwhatâs the point of understanding it?â he asked, hand trailing down to the others shoulder.. still sliding down.Â
âif we all have a limited time⊠whereâs the fun in
understanding everything.â he said softly, his hand now venturing down the others back.Â
-----
Gabe some what leaned into the touches of Vincent. He liked it when people combed their fingers though his hair. It felt good⊠and honestly was pretty relaxing for Gabriel⊠but as the manâs hands slowly trailed down his neck, over his shoulders and down his back, Gabe shivered a bitâŠ. but he didnât stop the manâs wandering hands quite yetâŠ..
âI⊠I mean I guess youâve got a point but⊠um⊠stillâŠ. Iâm just⊠confusedâŠ.â he said softly, âforgive me for asking butâŠwhyâd you take meâŠ?â He asked, looking up to Vincent with those stunning Sterling silver eyes of his that held this⊠innocence in them. âI have nothing to offer youâŠ.â
-----
he smiled, pleased with the others responce to his touches.Â
he rubbed down to his lower back.Â
âyou have⊠plenty to offer me.â he said softly, a smile still on his lips.
he tilted his head a bit.Â
âcome with me..â he said softly, pulling his hand away from the others back.Â
he had no objection of making Gabe come with him⊠he wouldnât mind using a bit of force if he needed..Â
-----
 Gabe wasnât sure what he meant by âyou have plenty to offer meâ when in reality, he really didnât have much money, or anything that could be of value to this man. Judging by the house, this man already had plenty of thingsâŠand plenty of moneyâŠ. and it wasnât like Gabe had anything on him that he could possibly want aside from maybe the golden cross that hung from his neckâŠ. or maybe his walkie-talkie that was clipped to his belt. Gabeâs innocent little mind just couldnât wrap around what Vincent most likely was going to want him forâŠ. at least not yet.
âUm⊠alrightâŠâ Gabriel said as he stood up. Gabe didnât protest or resist. He didnât have much of a reason to. Vincent had given him no reason to not trust him⊠yetâŠ.
So Gabriel quietly let Vincent lead him, once again falling silent.
-----
he smiled into him, and nodded for Gabe to come with him..Â
slowly he walked with the other to the main floor bedroom, and pushed the doors open.Â
ânow.. please.. strip down, and get in.â he nudged the younger man in, with a few gentle pats to his ass.Â
âthereâs lube in the nightstand drawer.â he said with a chuckle.Â
âdo not.. dissapoint..â he said grimly.Â
-----
Gabe felt his cheeks heat up as a dark blush crawled across his face. Though Gabe should of been expecting this, it still came off as a bit of a surprise to him.Â
âI-I beg your pardon?!â He squeaked as he looked to Vincent and tried to back from the room before he was gently nudged into it.
âI-I donât.. I mean⊠I.. I hardly even know you!â He protested as he looked at Vincent, rather alarmed. âI.. Im flattered that you would want to do anything like that with me but⊠I.. Iâd rather we get to know each other b-better first.. andâŠ. I donât even know your name!â
-----
he chuckled and shrugged, nudging Gabe in the rest of the way.Â
âirrelevant⊠now do as isay, and iâll be back soon.â he said sternly, closing the door behind Gabe.Â
of course heâd wait a minute or two.. waiting to see if the other would indeed listen to him and get undressed.Â
considering he had his doubts, he waited patiently.Â
heâd wait a bit longer, until he left to get on a housecoat, and come back in to join the poor man..Â
although, he still had no objection to taking what he wanted by force.Â
but that would come when he returned.Â
-----
No way was Gabe going to willingly strip for a stranger. Let alone this guy. Though every fiber in his body told him he wouldnât have any choice, Gabe found himself frantically searching for a way to escape the situation he was in. It was time to leave, and Gabe knew thatâŠÂ
Gabe took his moments alone to look over the environment he was in. The room was pretty big, and just as extravagant as the rest of the houseâŠLots of decorations, and the bed was a whole new level of extravagance itself⊠but what interested Gabe most, was the fact that there was a windowâŠ
Gabriel walked swiftly over to the window, unaware of the fact that Vincent still stood outside the door, listening, and waiting. The young man tried his absolute hardest to get that window open, but it seemed to be stuckâŠ. Thats when he noticed a line of nails along the frame of the window. It had been nailed shut. âCrapâŠâ he muttered to himselfâŠ.The only way Gabe would be going though that window, would be if he smashed itâŠ. and Gabe figured Vincent would be able to hear thatâŠÂ
Gabe took a few small steps back away from the window, and looked around, trying to see if he could find another way out⊠but then his eyes got caught on something. Atop a shelve over on the far wall, stood a candlestick holder, Silver and lightly gleaming from the light that got caught in the shiny silver. I could knock the guy out with that and then escape, He thought to himself⊠normally he didnât like Violence.. but Gabe figured this was his only way he could get out of the situation. Gabe nervously glanced towards the door. He wasnât sure how much time he had left before Vincent came back. So Gabe grabbed a chair and dragged it over to the wall the shelf had been nailed to. He carefully, but quickly climbed up on the chair, and just as his hand closed around the silver object, the sound of the door handle being turned caught Gabeâs attention. Gabe panicked and fell backwards off the chair, and right back onto his butt⊠but had the Silver candle stick grasped tightly in his handsâŠ. which he scrambled to hide behind his back, just as the door was pushed open.
-----
He stepped inside briskly and frowned.. adjusting his robe.
âExactly what are you doing on the floor?â He asked, immediately looking to the moved chair, then to Gabe.. pausin to give a quick glance to the shelf..
He chuckled and tucked his hand into his robe.
âOh you poor thing.â He said simply, coming over towards the other man.. his steps were slow.. cruelly slow..
âHere i thought we could do this properly.. but i certainly donât mind doing it the fun way..âÂ
As he spoke that last sentence.. He drew a thick knife from the robe.. it was sharp.. Shiny.. The glare from the weapon staring straight into Gabeâs eyes.. Along with Vincentâs slightly glowing orbs.
-----
Gabrielâs heart began to hammer in his chest as Vincent took his slow steps towards Gabe. Gabriel slowly scooted back, away from Vincent the best he could till he backed up into the bed, his back pressing firmly against it as he looked up at Vincent who was standing over him.
However, when that knife emerged from the robe, Gabrielâs blood turned to ice, and fear filled him. His grip tightened on the silver candle stick he had in his hands and he pulled it out from behind his backâŠ
âY-you⊠you stay away from me..â he said, trying to come off as more confident than he really wasâŠ. the fear in his voice was obvious from how he was stammering a bit with his word.Â
âI-im ready to leaveâŠ. the dinner was wonderful, and⊠and youâve been a great hostâŠ. b-but itâs really time for me to goâŠâ
-----
he smiled and leaned forward, reaching to cup the others cheek, clearly not intimidated at all.Â
âsorry.. not possible.â he hummed, moving his foot swiftly to kick the candlestick from his hand, and pin his hands to the floor.Â
he leaned down over the other, and pressed the knife to his neck slowly.
âi love doing things the fun way.â he hummed.Â
ânow⊠bed.â he pointed to the soft structure.Â
he moved just enough to give Gabe his hands back, but kept himself between Gabe and the door, blocking the poor mans exit.Â
-----
Gabriel winced when the candle stick got kicked from his hands and rolled over to the side of the room. When his hands got pinned to the floor, Gabe at first lightly struggled, but once that knife was placed on his neck and he could feel its sharp, unforgiving edge against his soft skin, all Gabrielâs struggling ceased. He really wasnât going to have much of a choice in thisâŠ
âa-alright.. alright..â
Gabe veeerry slowly got up off the floor. His eyes swept over to the candle stick that had rolled over near the wall for a second⊠and he hesitated. He  just about made a lunge for the silver item⊠ but judging by how close in proximity Vincent was, Gabriel knew he would have no chanceâŠ.Â
He took a shaky little breath and took a seat on the soft bed as he avoided eye contact with Vincent and just stared down at his hands that had been folded into his lapâŠ.Â
âP-Please⊠please donât make me do thisâŠâ he muttered, his voice obviously filled with fear.Â
-----
 he smirked and tilted his head, moving forward to gently clip off the others shirt buttons with his knife.Â
poor bastard.
he slowly opened the other mans shirt and exposed his sad chest.Â
âiâm not making you do this..â he hummed.Â
âiâm doing this to you.â he chuckled, and reached with one hand down to cup the others crotch, giving it a firm squeeze, rubbing over him slowly.Â
-----
Gabriel watched as the knife flung away each button to his uniform, each landing on the floor with a soft plink. The young mans cheeks flared up that lovely shade of pink again as his chest was exposed to this purple man. Gabriel shifted uncomfortably as he looked up to Vincent and felt his eyes sweeping over his body. Gabriel may not of been ripped or anything⊠but he really did have nice bodyâŠ
but Gabeâs eyes widened as he made his declaration⊠and he was about to say something to try and stop Vincent, but Vincentâs hand found its grip on his crotch and slowly massaged his hand over the mass, and Gabeâs voice got caught in his throat momentarily.Â
Gabeâs body was quick to respond to Vincentâs touch⊠he was a rather easily aroused person after all⊠so something like this could get him hard pretty quick⊠which was why Gabriel started to squirm away from VincentâŠ
âPlease⊠please donât..â He whimpered, panicked by the way this older man was rubbing his hand over his mass and was nursing it to life by Vincentâs hand. He was angry and confused at his bodyâs reaction to the violationâŠ. but he knew there wasnât a damn thing he could to to stop it.Â
-----
He smiled a bit still slowly working his palm over the others girth.
âShhhhâŠâ he hummed, leaning down to open his mouth and slowly bite into the others skin, pressing himself forward on the younger man.
Before Gabe could protest, he was laying back on the bed, pinned down on the bed.
âHeh.. be good now..â he hummed.. hand sliding up a bit to slowly unzip the others pants and shimmy them down a bit.
God how Gabriel wanted to protest again⊠but he knew it was pointlessâŠ. it was obvious Vincent was going to have his way with him whether he likes it or notâŠ..
The younge man let out a small, breathy moan as the man sunk his teeth into his soft flesh and Gabe was slowly led back onto the bed. Gabe couldnât help it. His neck was his sweet spot⊠so Vincentâs biting and nibbling against his sensitive skin only furthered his arousalâŠbut it felt so wrong. Gabe didnât want this. He just wanted to go home. His eyes became tearfilled as the man slowly slipped down his pants. Gabe still some what squirmed beneath Vincent pushing weakly against his chest, but Vincentâs weight had him pinned down to the bed⊠there was no way he was going to get out of this unless he could get his hands on that knife of VincentsâŠ.
-----
he leaned into the other, moving to slide off the housecoat he was wearing.. the sound of many clinks and jingles could be heard with it.Â
evidently this man was armed to the teeth.Â
he shifted and slowly tugged Gabes pants down, underwear too..Â
eagerly he pressed his mass against the others groin, rocking into him slowly, the skin on skin causing all the right kinds of friction.Â
âmmmhh much better like this, arenât you?â he asked, fingers combing through Gabes hair, still biting at his neck.Â
-----
Gabriel leaned into Vincentâs hands with Each stroke he made though his thick, but soft and fluffy hair. Gabe was in blissâŠ. and he hated it. He hated how easily this man was toying with his body. How easily he was aroused by the manâs touch. it frustrated him. He loved how it felt but he the circumstances it was in.
Gabe gave abdolutely no responce to vincent other than his soft, breathy little moans that came as a responce to the friction between the two masses Increasing and The fact that Vincent was decorating The younger manâs neck in bite marks and hickeys. The way their hard members rubbed aagisnt Each other was driving Gabe crazy. His own throbbing arousal ached and twitched each time the two would rub against each other. Gabriel let out a soft, involuntary moan again as he slowly clutched the bedding into his fists and tugged on it a bit.
âF-fuckâŠ..â he hissed out softly, his eyelids drooping and fluttering as his body subcombed to Vincentâs advances on him. Gabe wasnât one who normally swore. This was one of those very very rare times he did let a curse words slip from those soft lips of hisâŠ.
As the older man continued to grind his mass against Gabeâs, his hips rose to meet with Vincentâs each time to have a rather satisfying stroke of pleasure surge throughout both their bodiesâŠ. he hoped and prayed that he could just get through with this and Vincent would let him go afterâŠ
âO-oh GodâŠâ he breathed out.
-----
he smiled into Gabe, already appreciating the others reluctant participation.Â
he reached down between them, his hand feeling over Gabes mass, stroking over it as he rut himself against the younger man.Â
âmuuuuch better..â he purred, pulling back just enough to let Gabe see Vincents naked self.. seeing just how much of the purple man heâd be taking in, very soon..Â
with his fingers still through Gabes hair, he lifted his head to steal a hard kiss, biting Gabes lip roughly.Â
âremember⊠lube in the nightstand drawer..â he hummed, stroking over the others mass.Â
âbe a good boy and fetch it, why donât you?â he asked.. an eager tone to his voice.Â
kissing him hard, a few more times, he parted, just enough to let Gabe retrieve the lube, and feel around for any more toys in there.Â
honestly, Vincent himself had forgotten what was in there, so he was quietly curious as to what Gabe would run across.Â
-----
Gabe whimpered into the hard kiss. Their lips moved together with a deep passion and hunger⊠though Vincentâs hunger was far Greater for Gabriel than gabeâs was for Vincent. Gabe just wanted to please Vincent. If he could please and satisfy Vincent enough, he hoped the guy would let him go afterâŠ.. so Gabe was going to do his damn best to give his all into this and pleasure this older man.
Gabe swallowed hard as his eyes wandered down towards the manâs throbbing need. He swallowed hard. He was pretty bigâŠÂ
Gabe took a shaky breath and nodded his head as he bit his lip softly and obeyed Vincentâs order, oh so obediently.. Gabe shifted his body to reach over to the nightstand next to the bed and open it. Gabeâs hand searched around, brushing over the numerous toys and objects Vincent had scattered throughout the drawerâŠ. Gabeâs cheeks burned in embarrassment⊠nipple clamps, cock rings, dildos⊠this guy had a lot of stuff⊠finally his hand closed around the bottle of lube. He pulled it out and looked up at Vincent. âU-umâŠH-hereâŠâ
-----
He glanced over the other while he wss searching through the drawer, slowly his fingers caressed over Gabes middle.. trailing down his slender frame.
Eventually his wandering hand curled around Gabes cock, giving it a few slow strokes.. watching for his reaction.
âBe a dear for me and lose the shirt.. id hate to get your work clothes dirty.â He hummed.. still casually working Gabes length.
Still. He took the bottle and opened it up.. taking his skilled fingers from Gabes cock.
The knife, however, was suddenly buried into the wooden headboard, with a nerve rattling sound.. of course it was going to be akin to King arthur and the sword in the stone to remove the damned thing later.
Instead, Vincent used his now free hand to lube up, and coat himself thoroughly..Â
He made sure to generously handle Gabe with the warming lube.. he knew he was a difficult man to take.. hence why he made it a point to be careful.
Slowly he inserted knitted fingers into Gabe.. slowly working on stretching him open and lubing him up as well.
-----
Gabe gave a small, submissive nod and slowly slid the shirt from off his shoulders and tossed it on the ground to join his work pants and underwear on the groundâŠ.Â
the way Vincentâs slender fingers continued to work over, and wrap around his rather painfully hard cock was making Gabriel all hot and needy, caused Gabe to tilt his head back and moan out. Vincent was pretty good at thisâŠ.. it was obvious he was well experienced in what he was doing.
 The young man felt hot and flustered despite the coolness of the room⊠and it didnât help that he was pinned under the warm body of Vincent. Each stroke of Vincentâs hand brought Gabriel close and close to the edge of his impending orgasmâŠ. the pre-cum that was already leaking down from his tip made it obviousâŠ. Though even if he was to cum already, Something told him that Vincent wouldnât be satisfied enough with that⊠And would probably have Gabe cum more than once that night.
But⊠Gabe whimpered at the loss of touch from Vincent when he pulled his hand away from his cock. As much as Gabe hated it and as much as Gabe was filled with confliction about it, Gabe was in heat⊠all hot needy for the others touch but desperate to please Vincent as much as he possibly could.Â
The sudden thunk of The knife being driven into the wood made Gabe flinch though. It was just a few inches above his headâŠ. he tried not to pay too much attention to the knife, but knowing it was there just a few inches above his head filled him with fear, despite the heat he was inâŠâŠ. he didnât have much time to worry though⊠because he soon felt the manâs nicely oiled fingers poking and prodding at his tight puker. He let out a soft groan as the manâs oiled fingers slipped inside him and began prepping him for what was to comeâŠ.
-----
he hummed, a soft tune as he did so.. his well oiled fingers pressed up deep into Gabe, and Vincent glanced up to the other.Â
âhmm you really do look much better like this.â he said softly, leaning forward to kiss and nip up Gabes thighs to his waist..
he was surprisingly gentle with his actions, but there was still something so sinister about him.
he shifted a bit, lifting Gabes legs up onto his shoulders, giving the both of them the perfect angle..Â
âmmhh.. i do intend to make you scream.â he hummed softly, slowly pressing his own solid cock against Gabes pucker.. his fingers still working the younger mans entrance, slowing up only when he felt the other was ready.Â
silently Vincent was enjoying Gabes noises.. from his moans to his breathy sighs.Â
-----
Gabe loved the way Vincent trailed a line of kisses up his thighs and to his hips. The way he was being all nice and with him, somewhat calmed his nerves⊠Though guilt had already setting in on the poor man. He felt like maybe if he had done something different, or put up more of a fight or had just not gone into work that night, he wouldnât be in that mess he was in.
Just make him happy, and heâll let you go,he thought to himself, trying to assure himself that he would be okay after this⊠which, there was a small chance he would be able to escape with nothing more than a sore assâŠÂ
Gabe softly sighed as the older man helped guide his legs up to his shoulders. Gabe was a blushing, flustered mess at this point.Â
Once Vincent had slipped his fingers out and had deemed him ready, He could feel as the man applied steady pressure. He couldnât help himself but to groan in pleasure as the pucker began to give a little more to the manâs mass that was being prodded and forced into his tight ass. He whimpered ever so softly as the tight ring clenched tightly just under the cock head. He couldnât help it⊠He was pretty anxious about the whole thing so he wasnât relaxing, making it so he was pretty damn tight⊠Making for a rather painful, But also pleasurable experience as he took in each inch of what Vincent had to offer. If Gabriel had known Vincentâs name, he would of been softly gasping it out right nowâŠÂ
His body thrummed with pleasure as he finally managed to take in the last inch of Vincent.
âG-GodâŠâ he softly gasped out as he tried his best to get adjusted to Vincent and his size. It was obvious already by how vocal Gabriel had already been, Vincent was going to get those screams he desired to hear from Gabe⊠whether it was from pleasure or pain, had yet to be decided.Â
-----
He smiled, hands sliding over his skin.. he waited patiently for the other man to adjust.. waiting ever so softly for that nod or slight hip movement to let Vincent know he was ready.
He dipped his head into the others shoulder, slow gyrations started up at first.. just to test the younger man below him..
He placed a kiss on his chin and hummed softly into him, his hips now steadily picking up speed. He nipped the others neck softly and chuckled softly against him. âHeh.. you like that?â he asked, his voice that bit more gruff and deep as he continued.
-----
His legs were trembling and his ass felt as though it had been torn from VincentâŠâŠ Vincent was a lot bigger than the other person he had been screwing around with lately⊠He hoped that his current partner wouldnât be upset with him for thisâŠ. Not like he had much of a choice, but he really hoped that they would forgive himâŠ.
It took him a few moments but he was able to get himself adjusted to the manâs hardness that was deep inside him to make him a bit more comfortable.Â
Gabeâs hands had gone weak. He no longer could grab onto the bed since his hands were now lightly trembling from the pleasure wracking his bodyâŠ
âI-I-Im readyâŠ.â He said, his voice coming out a bit higher than normal⊠For obvious reasons. âP-Please..â
Lucky for Gabe, his plead was met with the gradual and slow movement of Vincent hips as he began to slowly and rather gently thrust in and out of the man. Gabeâs moans started soft and breathy as he felt each inch of Vincent move out of him, only to feel himself take back in each inch of what he had to offer.
As Vincent slowly began to  increased his speed of this thrusts, and began to drive each one of them deeper in and harder into Gabriel, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed though the room which mixed with Gabeâs loud moans, gasps, and cries. He writhed a bit beneath the man, pleasure wracking his pale body as he arched up into the man, raising his own hips bit.Â
âaa-ah! Yes!â He cried out as the mans lips moved slowly against his senstive neck, sucking and biting on it as he went.Â
-----
he huffed and panted into him.. silently adoring the others cries and whimpers.Â
âmmmhh..â he reached to comb his fingers through Gabes hair softly, panting into him.Â
âmhh you feel⊠so damned good.â he breathed into the others neck, groaning and huffing into him with each harsh thrust.Â
he moved himself up a bit to kiss Gabe deeply, feeling along his chest with his other hand, fingers trailing over to pinch and tweak his nipples.Â
-----
Gabe let out a shaky little whine as the mans fingers glided over the hardened nubs, and teased them by lightly brushing over them with his fingertips with resulted in an involuntary shiver.Â
Heat and pain â only these things doused bottom of his loin right now. Placing one hand on manâs head, Gabe buried his fingers in his hair, tearing his back with the other as he was brutally pounded into by Vincent.
Gabe didnt hesitate to return the heated kiss with Vincent. Gabe was forceful with his kiss, penetrating vincents mouth with his tongue and twisting them together as their mouths clashed together once again in a powerful, yet passion filled embrace.
Gabe loved this. As much as he hated to admit it, he was ejoying himself greatly. The feeling of having someoneâs undivided attention, the way their bodyâs created friction against each other, even the pain that was blossoming in his ass made Gabe weak with need. He liked having this attentionâŠ. it made him feel special and wantedâŠ. he almost felt loved. This was something that lovers did with eachother after allâŠ.but how could someone he just met, truly love him after knowing him for just a few hours⊠Gabe wasnât sure. The lusty haze was cluttering his thoughts and he was too caught up in the moment to question it further.
-----
he groaned softly into him, returning the kiss with a startling eagerness, his tongue curling around Gabes, actually having to wrestle for dominance in their connected mouths.Â
he actaually enjoyed it!
with a swift buck up and deep into Gabe, to catch him mid-gasp, he bit the others tongue and slowly tipped his head back, pulling Gabes lip with him.Â
he flashed the other a smug look, and tucked back into his neck, angling his hips right for the younger mans prostate.Â
a hard moan into his neck, just below his ear, and he carried on his his exploratory nips and bites, leaving thick wet trails after him.Â
he wouldnât object to finding more of Gabes more.. sensitive areas.. especially if he reacted so positively like this.Â
-----
 Gabe wasnât really expecting the others member to suddenly strike up right into his prostate⊠which resulted in Gabeâs body jolting and him throwing his head back loudly crying out âA-AHH!!â his cries seemed to fill the room, his eyes wide and sightless as pleasure sparked his vision and mingled with the pain.Â
Now Vincent was really getting the boy to scream with pleasure. That choir boy definitly had quite the voice⊠Gabriel was never known for being a very quiet person in bedâŠ. Again and again he felt the shocked groans pounded from him with each brutal but deep stroke. He loved this. Despite the pain that was blossoming in his ass, Gabriel was greatly enjoying this. The moans and cries that rang out from his voice made that blatantly obvious that Gabriel was completely surrendered into his ecstasy and his desire.
His breath caught in his throat with a gasp as the man dipped back down again and went back in for another bite of Gabeâs neck. He could feel the teeth bury into his neck, which made the brunette plaintively moan. As the biting became more harsher, and blood was drawn, it trickled slowly down his neck.
Gabe was going to have a hell of a lot of hickeys on his neck after that night was over there was no doubt about that. The biting along gabeâs neck was only driving the brunette more over the edge of his arousal and plunging him deeper and further into it, pulling him in with each bite over his sensitive neck.Â
He arched himself slightly into the older man like a snake for a moment then, pressed tightly to him at the other. The way each thrust dragged against his tight walls literally tortured him with sweet languor and Bliss..Â
Each thrust was bringing him closer and closer to his orgasm.
-----
Vincent smiled, his harsh thrusts and buckings making more and more beautiful noises for the purple man to lavish himself in.Â
to think he himself could bring a man like this to such ecstasy.. only to ready to tear him down shortly.Â
it was almost going to be regretful for him to do that laterâŠ
goodness, if he could banish the thought of sparing this gentle⊠loud soul..
his hand tucked down between them, working over Gabes cock roughly, thumbing and working his head eagerly.Â
he huffed into Gabes neck with each deep thrust, the friction and movements driving poor Gabe closer and closer to the headboard.
if the brunet could walk after this, even Vincent would be shocked.
-----
Exhaling huskily in response to roughness, Gabe tightened his grip on purple hair in his hand and closed his eyes, unwittingly getting completely drunk with whatâs happening at a par with him. Even though he didnât understand why, for they knew each other for how long? Three, maybe four hours? Maybe a little more. Gabe wasnât sure how long it had been since he had been kidnapped by this man.
Gabeâs breath hitched as he felt the man grasp  his cock with a palm, and he carefully took it and began to massage it along the shaft with his fingertips, causing brownet to groan hoarsely. Gabe pressed his back into the bed as he lowered his head, breathing heavily and watching through his eyelashes as the hands of the purple male caressed him.
Each brutal thrust into Gabe made him cry out louder than before. The was no doubt Gabe was going not be able to walk after this was all said and done. His legs were trembling and no matter how hard, or fast, or rough Vincent thrusted into him, it almost didnât feel like enough. The harsh way each time he would thrust up into him made him writh and squirm beneath him.âitâŠhiiiâŠfeelsâŠahâŠgood! Iiii!â Gabe gasped, pain making his tongue fumble and the mind numbing sensations from the battered prostate keeping his member hard. He felt the need to cum so badly, but the sensory overload made it impossible. âOhâŠfuck! Mmm! IT! FeelsâŠah! S-So Good!â Gabe was so close to his orgasm now⊠just a little farther and Gabe would topple over the edge of his ecstasy and would be able to release himself. âI-im⊠Iâm Almost! AH! Th-there!!â he managed to say as he continued to claw at Vincentâs back.
-----
a low loud groan into Gabes neck, and Vincent wasted no time in erupting into the other mans tight ass.. flooding his already heated inside with a burst of white mess.Â
he buried his face into Gabes neck, hand still working the other mans aching mass.Â
he growled into the others neck after a moment or two and started to steadily rock into him.. groaning softly with the movements.. loving every one of them.Â
even after all that, the others nails in his back, barely registered.. he just knew that he could feel the long trails along his back.Â
he didnât let up on assaulting the others length with his skilled, slender fingers.. wanting to make Gabe cum just as hard as he himself did.Â
-----
Gabe gasped at the sudden filling of his ass as vincent came into him. His hand that was grasping at vincents hair tightened more around and his other hand that had been clawing at Vincentâs back had dug in deep enough to draw some blood⊠Vincentâs back would look pretty sad after all of Gabrielâs clawing at it.Â
He was so fucking close as Vincentâs hand only ever quickened itâs pace and After a few move deep thrusts and strokes, finally Gabriel cried out, his body succumbing to his bodies building orgasm. His orgasm ripped from his swollen, bruised throat, that had been littered with the mans kisses and love bites all though out the hour⊠Gabriel gave up a deep growling groan as his as his eyes rolled back into his skull and his body arched up against his will as his seed shot up from his erection to lace across his stomach, and thighs. However, his hips kept moving as best they could until he was completely finished.Â
The boy was a sweaty , panting mess. His body trembling from the sheer amount of pleasure and pain he had just gone through⊠he hadnât been fucked like that since he had been with Richard.
-----
he smiled against him and groaned softly into his neck, feeling Gabe around him.. his juicy insides twitching somuch.. and all for him.
slowly, Vincent leaned back enough to lick along Gabes chest, purring softly against his collar.Â
âmmhh.. held up pretty well, didnât you?â he asked softly, reaching to slowly comb his fingers through Gabes hair.Â
he kept up with the slow gyrations.. making sure he was nice and soft, before slowly pulling out of the younger mans ass.Â
his hand was still slowly working Gabes length, doing his best to settle him down for the meantime.Â
âheh.. have to admit.. youâre pretty damn cute, when youâre flustered like this.â
-----
Gabriel blushed rather hard at Vincentâs comment as he came down from his orgasm. Gabes chest was heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Honestly, it came to him as a bit of a surprise that he hadnât had an asthma attack or something⊠which would of been really bad since he didnt have his inhaler on him. His lungs did feel a bit tight, but he was able to catch his breath after being pounded into so vigorously by Vincent. He very softly sighed as the purple man pulled out of his ass. The older manâs seed was leaking out of him slowly as he shifted himself. His legs still were trembling as he slowly lowered them off Vincentâs shoulders. His body ached and his ass was pretty damn sore.Â
âTh-thank youâŠâ he stammered slightly as he loosened his grip on Vincentâs hair and gently stroked his fingers though the manâs purple hair, weaving his fingers through it rather gently and affectionately.
âThat⊠that felt amazingâŠâ Gabe was a pretty affectionate person after sex. Anyone who had done him could tell you that⊠but he was exhausted. The pain in his head had returned from all his crying out and screaming⊠he figured he could just ask for some Advil or something later. He wasnât sure he wasnât going to be able to walk after thatâŠâŠ he knew if he was going to leave after that, Vincent would have to take him home himself⊠since Gabe probably wouldnât be able to get very far with how sore his ass wasâŠ..
-----
he smiled into him and kissed along his neck, shifting to let Gabe have his legs back.Â
âheh⊠that good?â he asked softly, nosing into Gabes neck, humming softly.Â
âwell.. glad to see i still donât disappoint.â he hummed, reaching to caress the others cheek and sit up slowly, stretching himself out.. his nude body on display for Gabe for a moment or two.
he glanced to the younger man.. momentarily regretting what he planned to do next, but that guilt washed away as quickly as it had come on.Â
he reached over to pick a few tissues, and leaned over.. carefully cleaning Gabe up.. licking a few stray messes from Gabes excitement.Â
-----
Gabe softly nuzzled into the hand that caressed his cheek as he looked up at Vincent with tired eyes. There was no denying how Vincent had a rather nice and toned body⊠Honestly it was a pleasing sight for gabeâs eyes.
Gabe couldnât stop blushing⊠he was embarassed⊠by both being exposed to this man⊠and also the fact that he had allowed this total stranger to use his body in such a manerismâŠ. it was kinda humiliatingâŠ. but there was no denying that Gabriel had enjoyed himself thoroughly the entire time. He was a bit upset with himself for allowing that to happen⊠but he knew that had he of kept fighting back, he probably would of been hurt by this guy. Gabe laid his head back against the fluffy pillow as Vincent worked his way over his body, cleaning him off with the tissue and his tongue. Gabe let out a soft sigh, feeling the manâs warm tongue lapping up his semen off his body as he closed his eyes.Â
âI um.. I havenât been f-fucked like that in a very⊠very long time.â He muttered, complimenting Vincentâs way in bed with him.
 -----
he chuckled softly into him and licked over his nipple, cleaning up the last bit of their mess, before he sat up slowly.Â
âheh⊠glad i could be of service then.â he hummed, reaching to rub along Gabes midsection.Â
he reached across to put his hand on the knife above Gabes head, and pull it out of the wood with a harsh creak.Â
he twirled the weapon in his fingers, before he brought up his housecoat, and pull it on.Â
it jingled a few times, and he shifted to tuck the visible knife into the coat.. it vanished from sight.. joining the mass of others that no doubt resided inside.Â
âhmm.. well.. i hope you get comfy for a little bit.. iâm going to head downstairs and clean up a bit.â he patted Gabes leg, before heading to the door.Â
-----
Gabriel softly nodded as Vincent slowly got off his body. âA-alright⊠um⊠can⊠you get me some Advil or a pain killer or somethingâŠ? My headache is backâŠ.â he called after Vincent softly, before he could leave.
Once Vincent left the room, Gabe reached down to pulled the soft fluffy blanket around his body⊠now that he wasnt all hot and needy anymore, Gabe could really feel the cool chill of the room around him. He snuggled down into the warm blanket once he had pulled it up and over his naked body and curled up under it. The warmth of the fluffy blanket only eased him into being far more drowsy and tired. He weakly fought against his drowsiness but in no time, Gabe had curled up and fallen asleep.Â
So much for trying to stay awake.Â
He had had quite an exhausting night. Being kidnapped, knocked out, and forced into having sex can really drain a person, and Gabe was a perfect example of that. His chest slowly rose and fell as he slipped off into his sleepâŠ. he had no idea the horrors that were awaiting him in the next upcoming hours of being at that house. For now, Gabriel peacefully slept⊠he needed it.
-----
of course, Vincent never did come back with the painkillers.. instead he left a bottled water by Gabes bed.Â
painkillers wouldnât help the younger man at all, especially for what Vincent planned to do.. and frankly, he would have just been annoyed if the pills dampened the pain too much.Â
so.. while Gabe slept, Vincent took his time in tidying the dining area, putting the food away.. even having some roast for himself.. stopping to boil himself a pot of tea and relax till he heard Gabe awaken upstairs.Â
he didnât mind waiting a while.. so he kept relatively quiet.Â
-----
Gabriel slept for a good 2 and a half hours, just all snuggled up into the soft blankets and calmly resting.
Finally, when he did wake up, he softly groaned. The ache in his body had worsened. He hasnât really meant to fall asleep⊠but he appreciated the fact that Vincent had let him rest for a few hoursâŠ. though he was just the slightest bit disappoint to wake up and not have Vincent next to him holding him or anything⊠he liked waking up comforting arms of those who he had made love withâŠ. made him feel less guilty afterâŠ.
He softly sighed as he rolled over from his side, to his back and stared up at the ceiling for a moment, just calmly breathing. After a while he kinda just glances over towards the clock next to the bed to check the time, it was around 5 AMâŠ. Bryan would have no idea still Gabe was missingâŠ. he probably still thought Gabe was at work since his shift didnât end until 6âŠ. he wondered what Bryan would do when he discovered he wasnât at work⊠or at least never made it inside after being dropped off. Gabe noticed the water that had been left out for him and weakly smiled. He sat up a bit with a grunt and reach over and grabbed the cool glass to bring the water to his lips to take a sip of it. Though his headache had dulled after resting, it still lightly remained.Â
After having drank some of the water and letting himself wake up some more, Gabe reached over the side of the bed and grabbed his underwear from the pile of his clothes on the floor. As he sat up fully to pull on the underwear, Vincentâs seed spilled out of his ass. Gabe bit his lip. He would worry about showering once he got homeâŠ. he slowly pulled the white underwear up his legs, which still felt weak and kinda shaky even after resting, and then up over his ass. His ass was sore there was no doubt about it⊠but somehow he managed to pull on both his underwear and work pants, without much trouble. When Gabe slipped on his shirt though, he was met with a small problem⊠the buttons had been earlier removed by Vincentâs knife, so he couldnât really button the shirt. He sighed and just left the shirt open. Heâd need to get that fixed.
Gabe swung his legs off the bed and pushed himself up to try and walk⊠which was a mistake cuz the first step he took, pain shot up through his body like a bolt of lightning, and Gabe collapsed to the ground with a âthudâ. He had not been totally prepared for the aftermath of spending that time with Vincent. He groaned softly and rubbed his ass âGodâŠâ he muttered softly.
-----
He heard the thump from downstairs⊠not that it was loud at all.. it was more that his ears were that sensitive.
He chuckled and fixed him a cup of tea for the other.
Eventually he made his way upstairs and to the bedroom Gabe was in.
He pushed open the door and smirked at the mess on the floor.
âVery cute.â He hummed.
He came over to help the other up and back onto the bed.
âHere.â He turned the cup over to Gabe and stepped back, stretching out again.Â
âCould have made a ham in the time you were out.â He hummed.
-----
Gabe was grateful the older man returned to the room at that moment. Gabe leaned on Vincent for support as he was helped back into the warm bed. âThank youâŠâ he said softly as he took the tea from Vincentâs hands He brought the warm beverage to his lips and took a sip of it. The heat of it made his lips and mouth tingle a bit, but Gabe didnât mind. Hot tea, was the best tea. However, a rather dark blush of embarrassment crawled back across his cheeks at Vincentâs little comment.
âs-sorryâŠâ he stammered, âI didnât mean to fall asleep⊠You uh⊠you just really tired me out after that i guessâŠâ as he spoke he shyly glanced down at his cup, staring down into the liquid.Â
âUm⊠but⊠thank you for letting me sleepâŠâ he said as he rose his gaze back up to meet Vincentâs eyes.Â
He chuckled and sat down beside him, ruffling Gabes hair affectionately.Â
âCant say i blame you for passing out.. i dont usually go easy on my victims.â He hummed, rubbing gabes shoulder.
âSo uh.. you hungry?â He asked..
âTheres still a bit of roast downstairs if youâre interested.â He offered, smiling to the other.
âIll probably end up making stew out of it later..â he shrugged, looking off in thought.
-----
Gabe smiled softly towards Vincent and gently shook his head. âNo⊠no no⊠thank you though⊠Iâm not all that hungryâŠâ He said before he brought the cup of warm tea back up to his lips and took another small sip of the drink. He liked the blend that had been chosen for the tea. It suited his taste in tea. Gabe HAD noticed how Vincent had referred to him as a âvictimââŠ. he really wasnât sure what to think of that⊠other than the fact that now it was known that this man had done this before, and that maybe it was just his way of referring to the people heâs fucked.Â
After a few awkward quiet moments passed, Gabriel awkwardly shifted a bit. and set the tea down in his lap. âUmâŠ. hey⊠by the way⊠Itâs⊠itâs almost 6âŠâ he said softly as he stared down at his lap. âIf Iâm not there to be picked up at 6 when Bryan goes to pick me up⊠he uhâŠheâd get pretty worriedâŠ.. he might end up calling the copsâŠ..â he slowly glanced over towards Vincent âI⊠I donât want you to get in trouble for Kidnapping or anything like thatâŠâ he said, looking at Vincent with those innocent, silver eyes of his. âSo um⊠you⊠might want to think about taking me back to the pizzeriaâŠ.â Gabe sincerely thought that Vincent was done with him nowâŠ.Â
-----
he glanced over to him, and chuckled softly.. he reached a hand over to pat the others shoulder, dragging him over to lean into Vincent.
âheh⊠you wonât be going back.â he hummed softly, rubbing over his shoulder slowly.Â
âever.â he added, giving him a good hard pat on the back, before getting up.Â
âiâll let you finish your tea, and iâll come get you.â he beamed a smile at the other, turning to head to the door.Â
-----
This made Gabeâs heart sink. He had really been hoping that Vincent would allow him to leave now⊠He didnât understand why this man refused to let him leave⊠he had given him what he wanted⊠listened to him⊠been as kind to this guy as possible⊠Let him get inside himâŠ..What more could he possibly want?!Â
Gabe said nothing as Vincent left and he clutched the tea in his hands. That horrible sinking feeling had returned from earlierâŠ..guilt, fear, and anxietyâŠ. and once that door closed, Gabe glanced over towards that candle stick. It hadnât moved from its spot from when Vincent knocked it out of his hand.
âOkay Gabe, now Itâs really time to leaveâŠâ He muttered to himself.Â
He took one last sip of the tea and set it on the night stand next to the water that Vincent had brought out for him.
Again, Gabe swung his legs off the bed and took a deep breath⊠he was more prepared for the shock of the pain this time⊠He took a deep breath and pushed himself out of the bed. Pain shot up though his ass and thighs⊠his entire lower half was soreâŠ. but this time he didnât collapse down to the ground⊠he slowly made his way over to the candle stick, limping the entire way over. He scooped it up into his hands and glanced over towards that window he had tried opening earlier before⊠He needed to get out of there.
Before Gabe proceeded, he dragged the chair he had fallen from earlier over to the door and did his best to prop it against the door, to barricade itâŠ. he didnât need Vincent busting in through the door right as he broke the window. After that was all done, Gabe took a deep breath and hobbled over to the window. He clutched the silver candlestick holder in his hands and mumbled âPlease forgive me for thisâŠâ And suddenly, using as much strength as he could, He smashed the candle stick into the window. The glass shattered upon impact. Gabe knew Vincent would of heard that so he quickly and rather frantically cleared as much of the glass as he could and tossed the candle stick to the side before he climbed out onto the window sill.Â
It wasnât that far of a drop to the ground since the bedroom he was in was on the main floor⊠but it was enough to send a shock up his legs and make him collapse into the cool Grass below⊠âFuckâŠâ he groaned softly into the grass.  That drop had not done very kindly to the pain in his lower halfâŠâŠÂ
-----
he paused and smirked, hearing the noises from the main floor already.Â
he laughed softly, and tugged on a light jacket.
he stepped out and towards the car in the garage.
he got inside the vehicle, and pulled out of the garage..Â
he drove the thing off of the driveway and around back, stopping when he spotted Gabes crumpled self on the ground.Â
he grinned and rolled down the window..
âand where would you go?â he asked.. even as Gabe was half-way up.Â
âthereâs nobody for miles, and you ticked me off.. so i donât understand what your endgoal was.â he said, backing his car upto face Gabe.
he hated using cheap tactics like this.. but he certainly wasnât above it.Â
âyou can either come in with me, or i finish you off, right here, right now.â he huffed, fingers tapping impatiently on the wheel.â
-----
Gabe took a few deep breaths as he lay there in the grass, trying to let his legs recover from the shock of him hitting the ground. He honestly though he might of had a bit more time to recoverâŠ.HoweverâŠ. when he heard the distant sound of a car engine roar to life, Gabe acted immediately, trying to get back to his feetâŠÂ
You need to move
Gabe had never been in a situation like this before⊠Something so life threatening and so terrifying⊠This made his nightmare of a job look like HeavenâŠ.
As the holy man tried his hardest to get back up to his feet, he heard the hum of a car and turned his head just in time to see Vincent turning the corner in his car, and heading right for him.
âOh god in Heaven⊠have mercy on meâŠ.â he silently pleaded as the vehicle neared. There was no way he could out run a car, especially in the condition he was in. Gabe was basically trapped now.
As the car came to a stop in front of him, and the window was rolled down, Gabeâs hand slowly closed around the gold cross that hung from his neck.
Gabe was going to need his Faith more than ever nowâŠÂ
So now laid before him two options⊠Die now, or endure whatever this guy had planned for him⊠quite frankly, Gabe didnât want to die like that⊠to be flattened by someoneâs car, thats just an awful way to go⊠and there was always the possibility he could survive the hit and just suffer longer⊠But what Gabe was really hoping for, was if he went with Vincent, Vincent wouldnât hurt him⊠maybe just keep him as a pet or something. Which, really didnât seem like all that much better of a choice⊠but at least he wouldnât be killed⊠at least not yet⊠there was no point in him fighting this anywaysâŠ. but there was always still the hope that he could talk Vincent out of whatever he was planning to do with him⊠he hoped he was making the right decision in this.
âAlright, alright⊠Please⊠please donâtâŠâ He said as he slowly pushed himself up.âIâll⊠Iâll come with you⊠just⊠donât⊠donât kill meâŠâ
Him getting up off that ground was about as more pain than Gabe had ever endured⊠His legs and thighs screamed at him to lay back down, but he forced his body to get upâŠ
Slowly he approached the car, limping slowly while his eyes avoiding those two shining white orbs that never seemed to move from him⊠This situation had turned from bad, to worse, in a matter of 10 minutes or lessâŠ.Â
Gabe got into the back seat and stayed very quietâŠ. he had been able to hold it together this far⊠but now Gabe just felt like crying⊠He clutched that cross in his hand like it was his lifeline⊠He slowly traced his thumb over the golden object as Vincent began driving back toward the garage.
âWhy meâŠâ he asked softly âWhyâd you have to take meâŠ?â
-----
He smirked and glanced in the rearview mirror at Gabe.
âBecause you were there.â He said simply, driving the car around to pull into the garage.
After he was there, he shut the car off and reached to close the door behind him.
He looked back to the door, and then to Gabe in the car, chuckling to himself.
âC'mon now..we have a big night ahead of us.â He spoke up, tapping on the glass.
-----
Gabe said nothing to that. So there really hadnât been any reason at all for him to of been taken. He just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time⊠had anyone else come alone, Vincent probably would of taken them just as well as he did Gabe⊠and that idea sickened him⊠this guy was willing to kidnap any completely innocent and random person from off the street for absolutely no reason other than to satisfy his own desires. It was absolutely disgusting in Gabeâs eyesâŠ
Gabe took a shaky little breath and exited the car slowly. He quietly followed Vincent inside the house, though he was badly limping the entire way inside. Each step sent a jolt of pain up Gabrielâs body, yet he continued to press forward⊠albeit a bit slow.
Gabe had no idea what he was getting himself tangled in that night.
He was later going to regret not choosing to have his life ended out there in the cool grassâŠ.it would of been so much more easier for him⊠he just wasnât aware of this yet.Â
-----
He chuckled and reached over to help Gabe up the stairs into the house.
âIâm not impressed you took it upon yourself to break my window..â he said after a moment or two.
He wouldnt have been any more pleased if he had seen the candlestick either.. but he was going to have a hard enough time getting into the room as is.
Once inside, Vincent brought him to tge couch and helped him sit down.
âNow.. im going to finish my tea, and we are going to continue this splendid night.â He said flatly, sitting down beside him.
He reached over to pick up his half full teacup, and take a relaxing sip.
âIm not going to make you pay for replacing my window, thankfully..â he tucked a pillow behind Gabe to relax on.
âAlthough i know i should, though.â He took a deep breath to yawn.
-----
Gabriel leaned on Vincent the whole way to the couch, using him as support so he didnât collapse again. Gabe let out a soft, relieved sigh as he sat on the couch⊠and his legs stopped screaming at him.
Finally he spoke up⊠âAlright but Um⊠Iâm.. Iâm really sorry i broke your windowâŠ.â If paying for a window to be replayed was what Gabe had to do to get out of that place, he would be more than willing to do that⊠though itâs not like he had very much money to begin with⊠and windows where expensive to replace. But that option was quickly dissuaded by Vincent saying he wasnât going to force Gabe to replace the window.Â
Gabe watched as Vincent sipped his tea. He wanted to bombard this guy with a multitude of  questions now. He just didnât get why this guy wasnât going to let him go. He got what he wanted. What more could Gabe give him. It just wasnât adding up in the young catholics mind. But he decided to just let Vincent finish his tea and let himself relax on the couch for the time that he could as he continued to slowly trace his thumb over the cross that hung from his neck.
-----
Vincent didnt take long to finish his tea.. letting out a peaceful sigh once he waa done.
âHmmm.. lovely.â He said after a moment..Â
He got up and stretched out.. cracking his back and shoulders at the same time.
âAlright.. ready for the real fun?â He hummed, reaching to offer Gabe his hand.
âPromise i wonât hold back.â He said, eventually taking Gabes hand anyway.
âAnd you.. are my guest of honour.â He poked Gabes nose playfully, before helping the other lean on him.. walking with him towards the stairwell down.
âHereâŠâ without waiting, he reached to scoop up Gabe bridal style, and carried him downstairs..
Although he didnât put the man back down.. no.. he carried Gabe into a dimly lit room..
The walls were painted red.. the floor was layered with linoleum and had a drain in the center..Â
There was a stained mop in the corner.. and infront of Gabe.. was a table..
It had thick leather straps on it.. collars hung from the walls, as well as braces and ropes.. various dangerous looking items were placed on the tables that circled the dark room.
Gade was brought over to the table, and placed down onto it.. very gently.Â
He kissed the others forehead and hummed softly.
âI did love the way you screamed earlier.â He purred, lips ventured down till he kissed Gabes lips.. a rough and deep kiss.
âIt.. did things to me.â He said softly.. his voice deep still.. even as he combed fingers through Gabes fluffy hair.
-----
Gabe gasped in surprise as the was scooped up into Vincentâs arms⊠but Gabe didnât complain. It made for a less pain filled venture down the stairs⊠though he was a bit confused when Vincent didnât put down him down once they reached the bottom⊠but he just figured Vincent was trying to save time or something, since he was moving pretty slow after that fall from the window.
Gabeâs eyes slowly swept a round the dimly lit room, taking in the new environment⊠as Vincent approached the table, Gabe got a rather sinking feeling⊠worse than all the other times he had been put on-edge by Vincent.
The young man didnât fully understand what this rooms purpose wasâŠhis mind was too innocent to imagine the true horrific purpose of this room he had been taken down into.  Gabe thought that it possibly could of been Vincentâs sex dungeon and he was just going to be fucked into that table, despite his very sore assâŠ. He wasnât sure he if could take being fucked again by this guy so soon⊠heâd need time to recover first since Vincent had really done a number on his ass.
Once set down on the table, Gabrielâs body tensed up as Vincent forced his lips against Gabeâs, kissing him hard and firmly, while he involuntarily whimpered into the kiss. The way Vincentâs hand softly combed though his hair made him shiver beneath the mans fingertips. When the kiss broke, Gabe was blushing again⊠now he just figured that Vincent was going to fuck him again and probably do some real kinky things with himâŠ
âA-are you going to make me scream againâŠ?â He asked, blushing hard as he gazed up into Vincentâs white orbs.
-----
he smiled and kissed his chest softly, taking Gabes hands, and gently strapping them down.Â
âhmmm.. hopefully.â he smiled up to him, nuzzling into his shirt to get at the others nipples, giving each of the exposed nubs a gentle lick.Â
he strapped his other hand down and reached to slowly brush Gabes shirt open the rest of the way.Â
âhope the room is warm enough.â he chuckled..Â
he stepped out of Gabes sight, and came back a few moments later..
this time, he was wearing a white dress shirt, and his hair was pinned back in a tight bun.Â
he brought out a screwdriver, and a mallet.. twirrling the thing in his hannd with a smile.Â
âso.. youâre the religious type, hunh?â he asked, bringing the screwdriver, down to trace along his arms.Â
âthen why the scars?â he asked softly.Â
-----
Gabrielâs breath hitched as Vincentâs tongue slowly ran over his nipples and he softly sighed as his hands curled slightly into fists. This guy really knew how to turn him on⊠or at least get a reaction out of him⊠Gabe was an easy guy to arouse and get all hot and needy⊠so if Vincent was searching for a reaction like this from him, it was going to be rather easy.Â
When the other left, he watched for him as the blush stained his cheeks.
He tested the straps that had him down, this was weird even for him. The straps were tight enough to lightly irritate the skin if he pulled too much on it⊠but it wasnât like he was going to get rope burn or anything from it.. it was going to be much more comfortable than some other things Vincent could of tied him down with.Â
When Vincent came back out his eyes immediately went to the screwdriver and mallet, he took a shaky gulp of breath⊠what on earth was he planning on doing with those?
He listen to Vincent and bit his lip âT-Theyâre to mark my sins against god" he shakily said as he slowly rose his gaze from the screwdriver that was slowly tracing over his arm, up to Vincentâs face. âI um.. I cut myself any time I sin⊠as a punishment.â Â
-----
He frowned a bit.. rolling up Gabes sleeve to get a look at the scars.
âHmm.. and you say you do this for your god.. correct?â He tisked and shook his head, setting the screwdriver down beside him to roll up each of Gabes sleeves.
âWell.. at least youâre aware of them..â he hummed, patting Gabes scarred arms.
âAnd that more than most people can say.â He flashed a smile to Gabe, before stepping away again.
There was the sound of some heavier equipment being moved about, and the sound of cable being plopped onto linoleum.Â
âYknow.. i meant to ask about that earlier, but the timing didnât feel right.â He laughed softly, and the sudden sound of a buzz saw roared to life outside of Gabes line of sight.
âTell me.. Gabe.. do you have a heart condition?â He asked, setting the thing down to come over to look at Gabe.. leaning over him.
âOr uhm.. allergies that i may need to know of?â He asked.. still sounding sincere and quite delightful.
âOh- and uhm.. if you have trouble breathing.. let me know.. alrighty?â He patted Gabes chest lightly.
He stepped back and pulled one of the ropes off od the wall.
Upon closer inspection.. gabe could see the rope was stained a sickly red.
âJust let meâŠâ he reached to unbuckle and remove Gabes pamts.. sliding them off.
âThere we go.â He patted his thigh a few times, before he picked up the rope again, and began tying Gabes legs together.
Tight.
-----
Gabeâs heart was starting to pick up a rather rapid pace as he heard the roar of the buzz saw. He may not of seen it. But Vincent made it know to him that it was there, and it was operational⊠which somewhat scared him.
As he watched Vincent prepare, and for a moment, he sees a flicker of a guy who almost seems like he sincerely cared about him and his well being⊠The creases around his mouth soften. The tension leaves his shoulders. He almost appears friendly. Like there was a flicker of the same guy who had just spoken to him outside the pizzeria and seemed to be so kind and harmless⊠he missed that guy⊠but that felt like forever ago nowâŠ
âI⊠I have asthmaâŠâ He said, his voice small, and rather scaredâŠ. That was really the only thing wrong with him health wise. His asthma had been following him around since he was just a kid back in England. Been a pain in the ass all his lifeâŠ. Gabe didnât have his inhaler on him. His boss at work didnât allow him to bring the inhaler, even though it was a serious danger to Gabe⊠his lungs were weak enough as it was. The ventilation going out in the basement made it just ten times worse and threaten to cause an asthma attack for him⊠but he wouldnât need to worry about that anymore. Gabe had other things to worry about now.
Gabe winced as the an tied his ankles together. He felt the rope first. Their rough texture against his skin. The slick of sweat between his ankles and the thick knots that had been recently tied to keep him in place.
he hissed softly between his teeth as he tried to shift his legs. The pain in his lower half didnât really like being tied up so tightly.
âItâŠit hurts.. can you loosen the knotsâŠ. just a bit pleaseâŠâÂ
-----
he paused and glanced up to Gabe, before looking back down to the rope⊠well, he did leave enough room for adjustments.Â
âhmmm can-do.â he said cheerfully, coming back to sdjust the ropes so Gabe had distance between his ankles.. adding layers to the inside knot to do so.Â
âthere. comfortable?â he asked, looking up at the other.
the least Vincent could do was have him be comfortable before what was about to happen..
he set yet another screwdriver down on the table and beamed at himself.Â
âcanât believe i almost forgot this one.â he said happily, and shook his head.Â
âwhat was i thinking.â he patted Gabes middle softly, silently taking note of Gabes asthma.Â
honestly, that wouldnât really matter in this situation.Â
âso⊠you ready to meet god and kiss his cheek?â he asked, leaning over Gabe, that familiar smile on his face yet again.Â
-----
He gave a very small nod at the adjustments to the bindings around his ankles  that had been secured by Vincent. âY-yes⊠thank youâŠâ he said softly. Somehow, even in a situation that was extremely life threatening, Gabe never forgot his manors.
Gabe knew it was probably 6 by now⊠Bryan would be wondering where he was⊠wondering why he wasnât coming out of the pizzeria⊠it was possible that his co-workers would think he got killed by that rotting rabbit in the basement⊠He wondered what they would do if they never found his bodyâŠ. He knew Bryan would stop at nothing to try and find him⊠or⊠at least⊠thatâs what he hoped⊠maybe one day he would actually find himâŠ. Gabe wasnât sure if there was security cameras in the parking lot or not⊠with how dark it was, it would of been impossible for them to make out exactly who Vincent was, especially if Gabe couldnât of done it himself⊠and he was there in person⊠but they would of been able to see the abduction happenâŠÂ
Gabe now sincerely wished that he hadnât gone into work that night and had just listened to that little voice inside him that screamed at him to go back to sleep when he first work up that evening before his shift.
Gabe watched as Vincent pulled out the last screwdriver. Now extremely on edge, all he could really do was silently pray this guy would go easy on him, still thinking he possibly was just going to do something pretty sexual with him⊠But as Vincent slowly leaned over him and spoke his words, Gabeâs belief got shot down by the purple mans words, and his blood turned to ice in his body. This guy wasnât going to do anything sexual with him at all anymore⊠this guy was going to kill himâŠ.
âP-Pardon..?â he asked in a tiny voice, like he was checking to make sure he heard Vincent correctly. He hoped he had heard wrong. Gabe didnât want to die. Not down there. Not like this.
-----
He chuckled and reached to comb through Gabes hair.
With a gentle kiss to Gabes lips, he pulled back.. his face now blank of emotion.
He traced the second screwdriver along his arm again, stopping the thing over his palm..Â
With a sudden movement, Vincent had hia other hand loaded with a mallet, and suddenly impacted the butt of the screwdriver, driving it through Gabes hand, and into the table.
âHoly man.. comibg home.â He chuckled.
-----
All the color had drained from his face. Gabe was now terrified.Â
A sob bubbled up in his throat as he is kissed by this man. He immediately turned his head away in disgust. He felt as he  slowly traced the screw driver along his arm againâŠ. When it stopped over his palm, Gabe turned his head just in time to see Vincent raising the mallet, and his eyes widened in fear.Â
âWait, plea-âÂ
the screwdriver, which just moments ago was gliding over his soft skin, suddenly gets driven into his palm. Gabriel throws his head back against the table and releases a desperate, animalistic scream. He tries to move his arm, to pull his hand away but the restraints and the screwdriver hold it in place. A spasm of pain shoots across his face and he bites down on his tongue. Blood fills his mouth and tricks out around his lips. His eyes feel wet, but he canât remember when he started crying, but yet the tears began to slip down his pale cheeks. Â
âDonât please donât!
-----
he smiled softly down to Gabe, even as he screamed and thrashed about like that.Â
instead of worry or try to silence the other, he patted Gabes head.Â
âcome now.. i donât think your god would appreciate having to wake up to your wailing..â he said, his tone deep and comforting.Â
in no time at all, his hand was trailing the other screwdriver over Gabes other palm.. before immediately slamming the mallet down onto it, shoving the screwdriver deep into the table.
he smirked and stepped back, watching the blood pool around Gabes shaking fingers and bitten mouth.Â
âso, you said you had Asthma issues, right?â he asked, stepping back.Â
he returned to Gabes line of sight with a large glinting knife, looking the thing over in his hands.
âwell.. iâll do my best to help, but iâm no miracle workerâŠâ he shrugged, tracing the blade over Gabes skin carefully, it drawing rubies of blood to the surface.Â
-----
Gabe desperately tugged and pulled at his other restraint that was holding his opposite hand down as Vincent crossed to the other side of the table. You could see the bruises that were  starting to become more visible around his wrists. The skin was already rubbing raw, the red and darkening skin contrasting yet complimenting each other beautifully.Â
âNo! No please!! please don-â Yet another animalistic scream was ripped from his hickey covered throat as the screwdriver was forced into his hand.
With his arms restrained to the side and his feet tied together in the position he was in, he almost looked like he could be a mock up of Jesus Christ himself, nailed to a cross⊠though in Gabeâs case, it was the torture table he had been nailed down on.Â
Gabe let out a sob. He couldnât move his hands. He could feel his warm blood pooling beneath his fingertips. He could taste the metallic- coppery flavor of his blood in his mouth as it stained his lips and lightly drizzled down his chin.
After stepping out of sight and then returning with a large and rather wicked looking knife, Gabeâs heart was pounding rapidly in his chest.Â
âN-No-â He started to protest.
He bit his lip as the knifeâs sharp edge caressed his skin. He had cut himself so many time before, this wasnât to big of a deal to him⊠But yet this felt wrong to himâŠ. pain was making his chest heave into the knife as it was dragged slowly cross his skin. He grimaced at the stinging pain of the cut as a small bubbles of his Crimson red blood pooled up and popped,only to trail off his chest and drip to the table below him.
âNo more⊠No more please.. Please Iâm sorry i broke your window! Iâm sorry!!â He sobbed âI donât want to die.âÂ
-----
He chuckled and reached up to comb fingers through Gabes hair again, musing with its softness.
He trailed his other hand down to caress over the blood on his chest, spreading it around, before slowly digging the knife in.
He payed no mind to Gabes pleas, and instead went to work on his own amusement.Â
He paused after a moment.. glancing to Gabes exposed legs then to hia still bloody chest.
He hadnât cut deep enough into Gabes chest to make too much an impact.. just his excuse to draw blood.
He smirked and stepped back, going just out of Gabes sight to fetch something.. leaving the poor soul to himself for now.
-----
Gabe just cried as Vincent slowly mused his fingers though Gabeâs hair. Gabe wanted nothing more, than for this man to just let him go.. He didnât want to be touched by Vincent anymore⊠He didnât even want to look at the man anymore⊠everything about this man made him feel sick with hate, fear, and disgust.
Gabeâs throat was already becoming sore from all his screaming. Those screwdrivers pinning his hands down caused more pain than he had ever witnessed in his life. It made the pain in his lower half after being so brutally fucked, feel like a thing you could just put a bandaid over and it would be better in a day or two.. He tried his hardest to move his hands, to pull his hands up.. but the pain for him was excruciating. A veil of sweat clings to his forehead. Every muscle in his body ached now from him being so tensed up.
As Gabe lay there, helpless, and alone, Gabe stares at the ceiling with tears filled eyes. Gabeâs faith had been shaken to the core by Vincent. Why would a God, who was supposed to be loving and merciful, put someone through something like this. Gabe knew that God gave his toughest battles, to his toughest soldiers⊠but this felt more like a punishment from the lord in heaven for him.
Maybe he did deserve this? Maybe this was Gods way of punishing him for his sins. Gabe wasnât sure.Â
âL-Lord in Heaven, please⊠please have mercy on meâŠâ he horsely pleaded while tears slipped down his cheeks while he waited for Vincent to return with whatever he was going to go and get.Â
-----
Vincent came, back.. and soon⊠returning with a wood chisel.. a very sharp looking one.Â
he smiled in on the younger man, before tracing the chisel along his legs..Â
âlet me know if he responds.â he chuckled, patting Gabes middle.Â
bringing the mallet back over, he flipped the tool in the air beside him, and hummed.Â
âas for right now.. youâre mine.â he smirked, presing the Chisel into his shin, giving it a solid WHACK, ripping skin clean off, and forced the tool into bone.Â
-----
Gabe was a masochist. But even this was too much for him to handle. Gabe started to squirm and thrash as Vincent positioned the wooden chisel over his shin. âNo! No please!!!!!â But it was too late within seconds that Mallet had been brought down on the Chisel and it got driven into this bone. Gabe screamed with pain and pain bites into every inch of his skin. It felt like he was being strangled by his own screams. This was making him feel nauseous. He could feel the vomit rising in his throat and he does his best to choke it back downâŠ. but the pain is too much and he arches himself to the side, pulling painfully against the bindings and screwdrivers in his hands so he doesnât vomit on himself, and instead only on the floor next to the table. He retches until his stomach feels raw and he has a veil of sweat clinging to his forehead. He stares down at the mix of puke and blood on the floor, his eyes blurry and bloodshot. He swallows, breathing hard. His eyelashes were wet and heavy. Is he crying? Or was it sweat? Blood? He canât tell, canât feel anything but pain and fear. Gabeâs voice cracks in his throat as he turns his eyes back on VincentâŠ
âwh-whats wrong with you?!â
 Gabe must of looked pretty pathetic there, completely exposed to the man and sobbing and trembling uncontrollable, flinching at every movement of Vincent.
-----
He laughed softly and leaned over the younger man.
âWhatâs wrong with me, hmm?â He asked, sliding the chisel out with a sickening noise.
âIve asked myself that.. many times.â He shrugged.
He placed the chisel on his other shin.
âHonestly? Ive not been able to find one.â With another sudden sound, and abrupt ripping pain, the chisel was in again, this time breaking Gabes leg in the process.
âBut uh.. if you could help me figure it out.. Iâd be thrilled.â He beamed a smile to the younger man, even as blood sprinkled Vincents face.
âNow you see why i didnât afford you those painkillers.â He gestured to the floor where Gabes vomit lay.
âIt would have been an utter waste.â He tsked again.
-----
Pain shoots like fire though his leg as the chisel his brought back down and he releases a scream thats a half sob, which is followed by the the sickening crack of his bones breaking throughout the room.Â
His tears dropped down his cheeks and rolled over his mouth, leaving a film of salt on his quivering lips.Gabeâs screams dissolve into shaky sobs, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He tries to breath but his throat closes up and the oxygen leaves his head, making him dizzy.Â
The blood that had pooled from his hands and made his fingers sticky with blood had started to drip down to the floor like tears. Gabe noticed to fleck of blood glistening alone the line of his jaw and the sweat that was clinging to his Vincentâs hairâŠ. the way those white eyes looked at him held no sense of remorse whatsoever. This guy was the definition of evil.Â
Something tickles his neck and he flinches before he realizes that it must of just of been the blood that was leaking from his chest. The blood trickles down his skin and gathers in the space just above his collarbone. All he can think about is the pain and fear and heat. He swallows hard, and the acid taste of vomit and blood hits the back of his throat. The pain that has been spreading though his wrists and up into his shoulders feels dull compared to the sharp jabbing pain in his legs. Sweat coats his forehead and nausea swirls through his stomach. The room around him spins, and the black around the edge of his vision threatens him blacking out.Â
âI-I canât-â his voice breaks⊠and without warning, Gabeâs eyes roll into the back of his head, and he blacks out, passing out from the severe pain. Gabeâs little body was NOT used to that.
-----
Mercy was merely a five-lettered word to the purple man.. no it was something he didnât practice (often).
the most mercy he could grant Gabe at the moment, was standing over him, and smirking on his bleeding self.Â
these few moments of Gabes blackout, were all Vincent would give, for mercy.Â
âheh.. youâre not dead yet, boy⊠câmon back.â he patted his cheek lightly, before stepping back.
a pair of defibrilators were brought up, and Vincent rubbed them together, charging them up, juuuuust enough to give Gabe a nasty wake-up call.Â
âglad these say, in case of emergencyâ on them⊠this seems emergency enough.â he said, placing them down.
the lights in the basement room dimmed momentarily, sending a sick shock through Gabe, the sudden disturbance had to wake the poor man.Â
âmorninâ sweet cheeks.â he flashed a smile at him.Â
âhave a good snooze?âÂ
oh if Gabes head wasnât pounding after the shock, Vincent was going to make sure it did, briefly.Â
-----
Gabe hadnât even been out 5 minutes when Vincent decided to bring him back. His body jolted as the shock was sent through his chest and his eyes snapped back open, wide, and terrified. It felt like a bomb had just gone off in his chest.Â
Yes, His head was pounding but, the tightening pain in his chest was far worse. He had this metallicy flavor in his mouth now, which was probably from the shock and he inhalesâ coughing on blood. Gabe felt like he had just been struck by lightning or something.
He let out a low, pain filled groan as he tries to shift his bodyâŠ.. the ropes around his ankles feels coarse against his skin, and slick with sweat and blood.
He twists his arms. It feels like rubbing gravel info an open wound, like scrubbing his bare skin with sandpaper. Fresh blood oozes from his reddened skin. From how much he was tugging on the straps around his wrists had rubbed his delicate skin raw and the ropes were doing the same to his ankles.
âI-is it overâŠ.â He weakly mumbled. He was rather disoriented nowâŠ. the mixure of blood loss, pain and that shock was jumbling his mind.
-----
He chuckled and shook his head no.. not that Gabe was aware enough to see him.
âFraid not my dear.. the night is still very young.â Ge chirped, setting the defib pads down.
âNow.. where was i?â He hummed, stepping back..
The sound of the power tool roaring to life again, was heard just out of Gabes sight.
He shuffled back into view, and set an electric round saw (I DO NOT RECALL WHAT ITS CALLED. IM SORRY. I WORK WITH THESE DAMNED THINGS. AND I FORGOT. WHAT. THEYâRE CALLED.) down.
âHmm.. what could i do..â he purred.. looking across Gabes body.. eyes resting on the cross.
He chuckled softly to himself and reached over to pick it up carefully.
He could feel the heat.. a weird sensation in his palm..
He paid no mind to it though.
âYou love this.. donât you?â
-----
 Gabe whimpered softly at Vincentâs words. He knew his chances of getting out of this alive were slim⊠but God⊠Gabe picturing Vincent hauling his body outside and dumping him, covering him in dirt, only to join the countless others Vincent had probably done this too, made fear drop though Gabe like a stone. Gabe did not want to die. He wanted to see his friends again. He wanted to see his family againâŠ. he would never get the chance to fix things with them if he died⊠they would never know what truly happened⊠Gabe would forever be listed as a missing person if no one ever found his body.Â
He took deep, shaky breaths as he tried to focus on his breathing, and not so much the obscene pain surging though every inch of his body like fire.
At the sound of the saw off to the side, just out of his vision, Gabeâs chest starts rising and falling in great succession, almost looking like he was going to hyperventilate or something.. He moved his leg and a spasm of pain shoot across his face and he whines and fresh tears spring to the corner of the her eyes. âO-owâ he whimpers out.
Gabe watched as Vincent walked back into his view and to him and set the saw down next to him. Gabe felt queasy just looking at it as his silver tears snaked down his face and left trails of wet behind down his face.Â
Gabe listened quietly as Vincent spoke⊠but then he noticed his eyes resting on the cross that hung from his neck. Gabeâs golden cross had been flecked with his blood from his chest. The crimson red had been smeared over the 7k gold, contrasting against the color⊠but Gabe gave a reluctant nod to Vincentâs question.. âY-yes⊠It.. It.. was a gift f-from my grandmotherâŠâ he said with a quivering voice. Gabe valued that golden cross like his very soul⊠It was so special and precious to himâŠÂ
-----
he smiled a bit and looked it over..
with a chuckle, he yanked the cross off, and drew a knife.Â
âwell.. if thatâs the case, then iâll make sure you donât go anywhere without it.â he hummed.
he drew a knfe from his person, and brought it forward.
with a skillful hum, he pressed the blade into Gabes flesh, cutting open just to where it bled, and carved open a cross-shape.
it took him a minute or two before he reintroduced the cross to gabes line of sight.. still carving out a shallow space for the thing.
he chuckled, and slid the cross into the gaps he made, putting weight on Gabe with his elbow occasionally to stop him from squirming.
he gave the cross a few harsh taps, fully embedding the thing into his raw flesh.
âheh⊠this place is surprisingly sanitary.. so it could heal over without infection.â he teased, before flicking the skin and bits off of his knife.Â
-----
As Vincent pulls the knife across Gabes skin that he swears he can his skin ripping seconds before a thin line of red blood appears on gabeâs chest. Gabe presses his eyes closed and in his jaw clenches, but he doesnât scream. It takes all his will not to let the scream that had welled up in his chest out. He chokes it back the best he could.
 Blood bubbles up on his chest where the cross shape as been carved and winds down his chest slowly. The table was being drenched in gabeâs blood. The pool he was laying in seemed to only grow bigger and bigger. He could feel the cool liquid squish against his back each time he shifted his body. The pool of crimson blood had oozed to the edge of the table and had started to make its own little pool of blood on the ground. Vincents feet were leaving bloody prints on the ground.
However as the golden cross was brought back into his view, Gabes eyes widened at realizing what Vincent was going to do, Gabes eyes widened âN-no-â his words were cut off by a scream of pain as he pressed the golden cross into his wound. Blistering pain explodes though his chest. Red and orange lights dance before his eyes and nausea floods his stomach and Gabe thrashed wildly against the table. He doesnât care about the pain in his legs anymore, or the welts inside his mouth, or the dull bruises on his cheeks or even the holes in his hand. The way Vincent pressed the cross into his wound hurt like a bitch. After Vincent pulled his hands away, and the sever pain dulled a bit, Gabe looked at Vincent with his eyes full of tears.Â
âG-g-go to hell.â He spat at Vincent coldly. Gabe wasnât one for swearing, but in the situation he was in, he had every right to. Vincent truly deserved to burn in Hell.
-----
 he smiled in on the other and reached down to comb fingers through Gabes hair, VERY slowly.Â
âoh trust me, iâve already been thereâŠâ he leaned right in, whispering right into Gabes ear.Â
âthey kicked me out.â he hissed, righting himself to take the knife he had used moments before, he shoved the weapon straight into his own gut, doubling over in front of Gabe, before he cackled loudly, just out of sight.
it was a gruesome noise, riddled with pain, but he laughed nonetheless.Â
his purple hand shot back up onto the rail of the table, and Vincent pulled himself up, staring in on the other..Â
âhell is a very real place.. and i will take you there.â he smirked.. sadism in his eyes, and insanity following close behind.Â
all around, he didnât seem to affected by the self inflicted wound, save for being doubled over, and feeling the physical pain of it all. blood oozed from his skin, and drenched both of his hands as Gabe was forced to watchâŠÂ
even Vincents blood smelled like decomposing and rot..Â
he leaned over the other, albeit a bit shakily, and pulled the knife out of his gut⊠the wound dripped just in Gabes line of sight..Â
he had legitimately stabbed himself, without hesitation..Â
âlet me⊠take you there.â he said.. his voice hoarse, still raspy and deep as ever.Â
-----
Gabe couldnât help but to try and flinch away from Vincentâs hand as it very slowly carassed through his hair. Since Vincentâs hands were coated in gabeâs blood, Vincent caressing his hands through gabeâs hair, really lathered it into his hair making it clump up in areas around his head.
Gabe shut his eyes as Vincent leaned in nice and close to gabeâs hear and purred out his words. He could feel his hot breath against his neck, which made him shiver slightlyâŠ. He couldnât believe had had let this guy actually fuck him. He had kissed those lips of his⊠felt his skin against hisâŠ. thinking of that now made his stomach twist and made him feel more queasy than he already was.
Gabe wasnât fully prepared to witness what Vincent was about to do when he pulled out the knife. Gabeâs eyes widened in horror as vincent suddenly stabbed it into his own stomach. âWh-what the hellâŠâ He whispered and he stared at Vincent confusion. Gabe wrinkled his nose at the terrible smell of rotting flesh that permeated the room once the knife was pulled back out of his stomach. This guy seemed hardly effected by the stabâŠ..
âWhatâŠ. What are you?!â Gabe asked as he stared up at the purple man, obviously deeply disturbed by his little demonstration with the knife, since he was trembling pretty badly again. Gabe was starting to Vincent was a demon or something now. He was tempted to start yelling out all the bible verses he could remember, but for now he held himself back from doing so.
-----
He smirked in on the other.. blood already oozing from the edges of Vincents mouth.
He didnt respond to Gabes question.. instead, he grabbed onto the handle of the screwdriver and jerked it out abruptly.. the metal scraping filled the room, and soon Gabes palm was free.
One.. anyway.
Even as Vincents trembling hands moved to pull out the other screwdriver, Gabe could see where the deep wound had slowly started to stop bleeding.. the thick maroon goop plipped onto Gabes exposed skin here and there.
With another gut-wrenching scrape, Vincent pulled off the second screwdriver.Â
He set it aside and shakily began on working the bindings off of Gabes wrists.
At this point.. he knew Gabe was far less a threat than he was before.. so he felt it best to move the man..
At least before he made anymore of a mess..
Vincent didnt give Gabe much time however, as Gabes feet were stiÄșl forcefully bound together.
âWait here for me, lovely.â He patted Gabes cheek, before he stepped back and wrapped up his own midsection in a rather.. large towel.. wiping his feet off on the way out of the room, so as not to stain outside.
When he was at the doors, he turned around and closed them.. a hard âclickâ rang out in the nasty room.. forcing Gabe unto his own grim thoughts for a while.
He was going to send Gabe to his god in his own way.
-----
Gabriel felt a lot of things at that moment; disgust, sick, agony, pain, and fear⊠lots of fear, as he looked at Vincent who now in his eyes was an abomination something that shouldnât exist that he never thought could exist in their world. Hell must be real if something as vile as Vincent could exist at all.Â
Gabriel didnât want to look at him, he was scared, terrified even, but he noticed something odd. Vincent was trembling and looked weaker if that was a possible things as he moved about the room.Â
Gabe let out a cry of agony and pain as the screwdrivers were taken out of his hands finally. His throat was sore now and his mouth felt dry. After all that screaming, who wouldnât be? Gabeâs hand were trembling terribly. He could still wiggle his fingers, but his hands felt like they had each been lit on fire⊠He recoiled feeling Vincent touch him again as he breathed heavily, he watched the other leave making his anticipation shoot up what nerves he had left.Â
He waited a bit, listening with his heart beating fast in his chest. Gabe first slowly brought his trembling fingers to the wound that Vincent had forcefully carved into his chest. Gabe braced himself the best he could for pain as he dug his fingers into the wound, trying to get the cross out. He hissed though his teeth and tightened his jaw once again, trying to not scream. The blood made the golden object, now stained in his blood, slippery, and hard to grasp with his trembling fingers, but after some great effort, Gabe was able to pull it out of his chest. He let out a shaken little sob as he slowly sat up. At first, hit with a wave of nausea, Gabe had to steady himself to not end up puking again. Blood seeped down his chest, running over his stomach and down to his hips, staining his pale skin. The poor young Catholic was a mess. Gabeâs trembling hands helped slip the cross back around his neck, not bothering to clean it off.. he would worry about that when he was to get out of there.
There Wasnât a clock in Vincentâs room of torture⊠but he swore he could hear the tick tick tickof a second hand, counting down the seconds he had alone before Vincent came back.Â
Gabriel tried with what will he could muster to try to loosen his ties if any, but he soon found it hopeless⊠the ropes were slick with his blood, and the pain was so agonizing, Gabe thought he might pass out again.
So Gabriel, beaten, abused, and worn did the only thing he could do. He prayed, he prayed for hope, he prayed for anything heâs done to offend, he prayed for his family and friends, he finally prayed for his lord to accept him in his arms when the time would comeâŠ. Thats when he remembered something⊠Gabe finished his prayer with an âAmenâ and his eyes opened and glanced down towards his legsâŠVincent had forgotten the electric round saw on the table.
Maybe God was smiling down on him after all.Â
Maybe his time to die wasnât yet.
Gabe scooted himself down the table a bit, and reached to grab the saw. He glanced down towards the ropes and then back to the saw. He had never used an tool like that before⊠God he hoped he wasnât going hurt himself anymore than he already was. He reached the saw down to the tightly tied knots and took a deep breath. He pressed a button the the tool whirled and came to life, cutting though the ropes like butter⊠he could only hope Vincent didnât hear it.. Once done getting the blood ropes all cut off him he set the saw to the side. He had nicked his foot a bit with the circular sawâŠ. but that felt like nothing compared to the intense pain surging though out his body. Gabeâs eyes scanned the room. The place was lined with dangerous objects all over. Surely he could use one of those to defend himself from that mad man.Â
It would just be a bit of a challenge getting up nowâŠ
-----
 Vincent was outside, thankfully⊠not only that, but this room itself was soundproofed, extensively⊠hence why it looked and felt so much smaller than the rest of the house..Â
and even with all the soundproofing, Gabe would still be able to hear the faint sounds of the purple murderer working outside.. hammering things together.. the quieted noise of him working with tools..
he may be out there for a while.. but not too long.Â
from inside, Gabe could hear a sudden shout..
âOW- sunnova bitch-â that wound up breaking off into quiet noises apparently cussing and groaning about something, before he went back to hammering, and drilling.
-----
Gabe wasnât sure what Vincent was doing⊠but he was sure he didnât want to find out. Gabeâs silver eyes scanned the room and then stopped when he took notice of a butchers knife over on another table not too far from him next to were Vincent had laid out his clothes. The dim light of the room caught on the blade making it glint a bit.Â
Gabe took a shaky breath. He knew all too well he couldnât walk, his bones had been brutally broken by VincentâŠ
But he could crawl.Â
Without any warning, Gabe threw himself from the table, to the ground, landing in a pool of his blood on the floor. He was lucky he hadnât passed out from blood loss yet. Gabe let out a sharp cry as he hit the ground⊠his leg had been bent into a unnatural angle⊠Sparks of red-hot pain danced before his eyes and he choked back a scream as he forced his broken leg back into a more natural position with a sickening crack of the bones.Â
Gabe just laid there on his stomach in a pool of his own blood on the ground for a few minutes, taking deep breaths as he tried to recollect himself after that. His body felt weak and his eyelids were drooping. He almost could of just fallen asleep right there in the pool of his own blood⊠he was so exhausted⊠but he knew he needed to keep moving.
After his few moments of rest ended, Gabe lifted his head. the left side of his face had been covered in his blood from him resting his head down in it. He took a shaky breath and forced himself to slowly crawl towards the table that had the butchers knife on it along with his clothes that had been stripped from his body. His broken legs dragged behind him sadly as he used his arms to pull himself across the ground⊠though.. the blood did make it a bit more difficult of a job since it made the floor all slippery. â
Once reaching the table, Gabe took a deep breath and pushed himself up⊠He was able to get to his knees, though it was extremely painful, and snatch his clothes and the knife from off the table. Gabe collapsed onto the ground again. He was drenched in sweat and was trembling uncontrollably. He hugged the clothes to his chest, taking deep calming breaths. he didnât know how much time he had left.. but he knew if he didnât take time to just try and focus on breathing and not the pain, heâd probably faint again.Â
Finally Gabe brought the fabric of his shirt to his mouth and bit down hard on it, and yanked his head to the side. The ripping sound of fabric bounced off the soundproof walls as he tore a long strip of his shirt off. He repeated this four times and used the strips as bandages in a sense. He wrapped the fabric tightly around his hands, wincing as he did so, then repeated again. He used the rest of his shirt to rightly wrap around the place the break in his legs were at. He had bandaged his cut arm so many times, he had gotten rather good at it.
Once he was all nice and âfixed upâ⊠Gabe wrapped his lightly trembling fingers around the knifes handle and slowly started dragging himself towards the door. His entire body had been soaked in his own blood from him laying on his stomach, in the pools that had accumulated on the table and the ground. Him dragging his broken legs behind him wasnât quite as nearly as painful as it had been before now that they were tightly wrapped.  and Once at the door, Gabe reached up and turned the knob and pushed the door open. It opened with a low groan⊠but it opened⊠He had been half expecting it to be locked or something, but as if by some miracle, the door had been left open.Â
Gabe was more determined than ever now to keep moving⊠he slowly dragged himself out of the torture room of true hell, and onto the luxurious carpet that covered the hallway floor. Gabe could hear the sounds of Vincent hammering away at whatever he was doing now, much more clearly⊠he just wasnât sure what⊠but he didnât care at this point.Â
Gabe slowly dragged his body down the hall, completely unaware of the fact that he was leaving a small trail of blood behind himâŠ
-----
He smirked and slowly lifted the heavy wooden cross.. mounting the damned thing to a tree nearby.. just at his livingroom window.
He dusted his hands off and grinned.. already seeming to have recovered from the self inflicted wound..
The gorey towel still lying in the grass where he was working earlier.
He didnt hear the others escape, but by now, he was done.. and turned to make his way towards the house.
He dusted himself off and slid off his outdoor shoes.. closing the sliding door behind him with a satisfying âplnkâ.
He glanced around⊠feeling something rather⊠off..
Hmm..
He stepped down and made his way towards the basement.
The blood caught his eye first, and Vincents breath hitched in his throat audibly.
âWha- WHAT-â He roared, and charged the rest of the way down, stopping when he saw Gabe awkwardly dragging himself over to the other flight of stairs.
With a sharp hiss, he leapt off of the last stair, and dashed to Gabe, ripping the man away from his exit.
âON MY WHITE CARPET!â He shouted, grabbing Gabes neck.. his hand digging into every nerve.
âHOW DARE YOU!â without thinking, Vincent suddenly slammed Gabes face into the floor, two or three times in a row.
âYou- SCRAWNY WHITE BASTARD!â he shouted, mashing his face into the floor a fourth time.
If Gabe didnt end up with a broken nose, he would be surprised.
-----
Gabe looked back in alarm at hearing Vincentâs voice. âShit.â He hissed as the He rapidly tried to pull himself across the ground faster. Poor thing hadnât even realized he was leaving a trail of blood on the white carpet.Â
Gabe had just started pulling his body up the the first step when he felt the hand of vincent close around his neck and his nails digging into his skin and he let out a strangled scream as he was yanked back.
âGET OFF ME!!!â
Before he could even try and defend himself with the knife he had grabbed poor Gabeâs face was slammed back down into he ground, his blood splaying over the white carpeted steps. Each blow disoriented Gabriel more and more. He let out a choked sob as Vincent slammed his head back down one last time.
Gabe was trembling badly again. His nose had been badly broken and blood was gushing from it onto the pristine white carpet, seeping into it and staining it. The man coughed violently sending a thin spray of crimson blood onto the clean white carpet. Vincent was going to have one hell of a time trying to get all that blood out of the carpet. Gabe started sobbing and shaking again⊠the entire room seems tinged with red, like his eyes themselves were bleeding.Â
There was so much blood.Â
He tried his hardest to catch his breath but sobs clogged his throat. His head and face was pounding with pain.Â
Fight. Fight back. He ordered himself. Youâre going to die if you donât fight.Â
If he wanted to get out of there he needed to recollect himself.Â
Somehow, through the disorientation, Gabeâs fingers remained wrapped around the slender handle of the knife. and with some extremely large effort, Gabe reached his arm, and made a desperate attempt to slam the blade of the knife into Vincentâs calve with a sickening thunk. Again the nasty smell of a rotting flesh invaded his nose and he just about hurled. He choked the bile back down and continued to whack the blade deep into the mans leg over and over and over again, desperately trying to get the man to let go of his neck⊠ thunk thunk thunk thunk.Â
-----
Vincent hissed loudly and shoved Gabe into the carpet again.. suddenly feeling the other man try to fight back.
He let go of Gabes Neck, only to grab onto the others wrist and wrench the knife from his grip.
Immediately ge turned the weapon on the other, plunging it deep into his side.
âStop that. Youre only making a shitty situation worse!â He shouted, stepping on the handle of the blade, making it lever up and rip skin and muscle.
âGive me one reason why i shouldnât kill you right here.. right now!â He shouted, reaching to wrench the blade out, twisting it as well.
He tucked the blade away on himself.. his own leg, bleeding profusely.
No.. instead he grabbed Gabe by the hair.. dragging the other up the rest of the stairs and outside.. shoving him into the yard.
âYou little bastard!â He growled, walking over to him to suddenly kick the other in the gut.
âAnd here i was going to take you home!â He growled.
âNo. Now you go to hell!â He rammed his heel into Gabes side, digging into the fresh wound.
Gabe could see the cross now.. erected just for him.
Reaching down.. he grabbed the other up by his hair again, dragging him towards the cross..
Vincent did very well considering his new limp.. and Gabe was soon met with his nose at the foot of the cross.
-----
Gabe fought the hardest that he could.. but this man, obviously more experienced in this stuff, was able to easily overpower him. He didnât even seem all that effected by the wound that Gabe had inflicted on him⊠maybe just more pissed off that his blood was staining his carpet as well.Â
Gabe hardly had any time to react as the knife was pried from his hands because within seconds, it was planted deeply into his side. The knife tore into his skin like a wild animals fangs. Pain Zigzagged up his spine. Blood and sweat pooled between his cheek and the floor as he let out a choked scream.Â
The poor thing had tried his hardest to get out of there. He really had. But now he was met with total defeat. Gabe could only weakly claw at Vincentâs hand and hoarsely beg for mercy as he was dragged up the stairs by his hair, leaving a trail of blood all though the house as he was pulled. His arms felt heavy thoughâŠ. he felt so weak. Pain was shooting through his body now like no other and he had lost A LOT of blood.Â
All he could feel was pain. Pain, and fear. Â
Gabe landed in the yard after being tossed out into it with an âoofâ. He crumpled into a sad little heap on the ground. There was no point in trying to fight back now. He was going to dieâŠ
The grass felt nice to lay in though. It was cool, littered with morning dew⊠it was nice to press his face down into and just breath in itâs scent for a least a fraction of a moment.Â
The moment Vincentâs foot connected with his stomach, Gabe was left sputtering and gasping for breath, the wind being knocked out of him.Â
Pain knifed through his stomach as Vincent dug his heel into Gabeâs gushing wound. The pain was making his chest heave. His lungs felt tight. Extremely tight⊠his breathing became more rugged, and pain filled as tears streamed down his face. He knew all too well this guy wasnât actually going to let him go even if he said so. No way after all that was he just going to let him go. He knew he was going to die either way. At least he went down with a fight and didnât just let it happen. At least he tried.
Gabeâs eyes caught on the cross that had been built in his âhonorâ, and for the first time in the past few hours, Gabe felt this strange sensation of acceptance  wash over him⊠Gabe knew it was pointless to fight anymore. He had accepted his fate⊠and if this was the way he was going to go, so be it. At least he wasnât dying in that disgusting room. Gabe did the only thing he could think of doing in those moment⊠He prayed.
âO-O Lord⊠Jesus Christ, redeemer and S-Saviour, forgive my sins, just as you forgave P-Peterâs denial and those who c-crucified you.â He began, his prayer starting in nothing but him softly mumbling to himself.  But His voice hitched and prayer halted as he felt Vincentâs fingers weave though his blood soaked hair and yanked him toward the cross. Gabriel gave no fight though. He couldnât. He was too weak. Too beaten down and abused to even fight back anymore. Pain shot through his head as he was forcefully dragged towards wooden cross⊠blood was pooling from the areas his hair had been yanked on rather brutally. He could feel it running down his skull and down the back of his neck. Where his hair was being pulled up felt like it was burning.⊠but once crumpled down at the base of the cross, Gabriel continued his prayer with a trembling, small voice.Â
âC-C-Count not my t-transgressions, but, r-rather my tears of r-repentanceâŠâ and continued on⊠He didnât care what Vincent thought of him. Gabe was going to pray in his final moments of living.
-----
He smiled and reached to push Gabe up onto the cross, not hesitating to nail the other man to the cross.. forcing his legs together to do the same.. nailing his legs to the cross too.
He didnt seem to find a problem with Gabe praying. No.. if the other found comfort in it.. then so be it. The little whelp deserved it.
He shoved Gabes torso back up onto the thing.. grabbing the last long nail from the nearest stand.
He flipped the hammer again and immediately hammered the final nail into him.. keeping him pinned there.
He shifted to wrap the rope around the others middle, and jerked it hard.. knotting it tight.
âHmm.. good luck.â He hummed, immediately slicing the other mans gut with his knife.Â
He pulled away and stepped back to head to the house.
He had a lot of cleaning to do.
-----
Face white and blistering, eyelids nearly swollen nearly shut, hair falling from the front of his forehead in thin clusters, Gabriel was a mess. Blood seemed to be weeping from every part of his body. Gabriel did his best to continue his prayer, mumbling it out as he was hoisted up on the cross.Â
â R-Remember not my iniquities, but, m-m-more especially, m-my s-sorrow for the o-offenses I have c-committed against youâŠâ The first nail made Gabe cry out and throw his head back against the wooden frame of the cross, once again halting his prayer.âŠ. but the rest that followed just felt dull. He was experience so much pain at once, he was having a hard time feeling the rest of his body at all. He felt numb now.Â
The pain was so intense, he wasnât sure he would be able to stay conscious enough to finish his prayer to god and his begging for forgiveness. Each nail made his voice tighten with pain, like the words were being strangled from him. His lips terribly bruised and cracked lips could only really whisper out his prayer for forgiveness anyways. He had used all of his voice screaming. His throat was sore and raw now⊠Â
Vincent nailed Gabriel to the cross in a perverse Imitation of Christâs crucifixion. What a fitting way for him to die considering how religious he was. His arms stretched to either side of his body, His mid section tightly knotted to the splintery wood. Heâs dragged down by his own weight, his body pulling at the nails until they feel like theyâre going to rip from their sockets.
As Vincent stepped back to admire his work he had done and whip out his knife, Gabriel finished his prayer with a small âAmenâ.Â
Gabe really didnât give much of a reaction to his stomach being slashed into other than letting out a squeak in his throat. Gabe watched through his eyelashes as Vincent wished him well and walked off, to no doubtably try and get out all blood cleaned up. He inhales and fresh, stinging air brushes against all his open wounds. The sharp, metallic taste of blood clings to his gums. In the distance, Gabe could just barely make out dawn breaking. The sky in the opposite direction was still dark, but in the east, a mixture of yellow and orange on the horizon beneath a dark neon blue ocean of night that had begun to evaporate, lay before Gabriel. It was beautiful.
Gabrielâs head lolled forward, and his eyes forced themselves shut. 20 minutes passed and he could feel the warmth of the sun that was just breaking over the horizon against his face. It was warm. Comforting. Like an Angel was there with him, letting him know that he was going to be okay and that it was time to leave. Gabe took one last breath and exhaled slowly as the life drifted from his body. His skin became cold, lacking in all warmth, except for the way the gentle rays of the sun caressed his skin. His death was beautiful in a sense, whether Vincent meant to make it that way, or not.Â
Godâs Angel was finally able to join him in Heaven.Â
Summary: Andy is returning to his office when he meets Anna in the hall, and leads her back to his office to get to know each other a little better.
Another one that the voices had nothing to say about, though Anna noted the unfamiliar man was in fact a member of staff rather than a patient. Maybe he was normal.
Smiling quickly, she waved a hand in greeting at the unknown face. It couldnât hurt to have a few more psychiatrists that actually liked her. Thus far, Mary seemed to be the only one.
Andy had been walking through the halls, having gone out to grab a soda from his van, so as he was walking back he saw one of the patients waving at him. She really was a pretty thing, although the florescent lighting was certainly doing her no favors, washing out her skin and making her red hair shine like fire. Ok, so maybe it wasnât actually shining like fire, but he was on the tail end of a hit, coming down rather nicely for once, so heâd let it slide.
âOh, hey.â He replied, waving back. âIâm just on my way to my office; you wanna come in for a few minutes so we can introduce ourselves? Iâm Andy, by the way.â Holding out a hand to the young woman, he gave her a lopsided smile.
Huh, so far so good- heâd even answered her. Anna decided that she would like this one. Taking hold of his hand, Anna shook it firmly before letting go and returning her arms to her side. A good handshake made for the best first impression, Richard had always told her. âHey Andy, Iâm Anna, itâs nice to meet you.â
Smiling, Anna nodded in affirmation. âSure thing, Iâll let you lead the way.â Anna wasnât all too sure on where the staffâs individual offices were. Of course, she was aware of their general whereabouts, but Anna had never found herself particularly keen to visit any of the psychiatrists of doctors. Sheâd always felt herself to be either too sane, or too mad to be helped. âI havenât seen you around before, are you new to Lawrence?â
âItâs nice to meet you too Anna.â Andy replied, glad to see that Anna was more outgoing than many of the patients heâd interned with. That was almost always a good sign. Although there was always other things to look out for with outgoing individuals, such as the fact that they could use that strong personality to hide just as many, if not more, scars than the silent ones. So as always, he was just gonna treat her as a person who he wanted to get to know first, and a patient second.
Heâd seen too many doctors treat people as patients, even outside of their office hours, and it was a tragedy to see human interaction become case studies and impersonal meetings.
With his thoughts only slightly distracted, he led her through the short block of halls to his door, where he flipped over his little whiteboard, alerting people that he was back in his office. âCome on in.â He stepped inside and placed his can on his desk, before leaning his hip against it and motioning for her to take a seat wherever sheâd like. He had two armchairs in front of his desk, as well as a bean bag in the corner, and an armless settee along one of the walls.
Anna followed Andy with little complaint, making a note to herself of where his office was, and where Maryâs was along the way. Who knew, Anna might actually decide to go and get help one day. Probably not, but there was always a slim chance, and knowing where everyoneâs office was could come in handy. Smirking a little at the sign that Andy had stuck on his office door, Anna walked in after him, halting as he motioned for her to take a seat.
It felt like a test, which felt like a silly thought. Still, Anna was just a little bit apprehensive as she debated over where she wanted to sit, eventually opting for the sofa along the wall. The armchairs looked a bit too much like they belonged in a therapists office, and the bean bag was far too casual. Settling into her chosen seat, Anna sniffed before looking back to Andy and smiling. âSo, hey. How are you?â
Tapping his chin to hide his broad smile, he made appropriately judgmental noises as Anna sat down, but then pulled his head away and chuckled silently. Heâd been in her position before, knew how much pressure there could be in the most menial tasks when someone in a position of âauthorityâ was watching. Damn, he was an authority figure to these guys now, wasnât he? Weird.
âIâm doing good, great actually. Thanks. Itâs my first day here, and to answer your earlier question, yeah, Iâm new to Lawrence. Transferred onto staff from my internship; which was out of state, over in Pennsylvania.â Looking around his still sparsely decorated office, he nodded a few times, obviously thinking something through. âBut yeah, Iâm looking forward to getting to know everyone here, maybe lend a helping hand and a ready ear where I can. How are you, Anna?â He made sure to use her name, working on committing it to memory.
âFirst day? No wonder I havenât seen you around then.â Anna smiled. âSo, youâre newly qualified if youâre just off of your internship?â Anna asked, curious as to why anyone would want to transfer to Lawrence Asylum for any reason whatsoever. It was literally Hell on Earth. Especially now that the archangels had joined in the fun.
âI guess Iâm not bad. I mean, Iâm obviously not well- I ended up in here, right?â Anna smiled humorlessly indicating the asylum walls with a tip of her head. âBut Iâm doing better than I have been. Iâve made a few friends recently, which have helped things along.â
âYeah, although Iâve been interning almost the entire time I was working on my degree, and I had to go to a psychiatrist before, so Iâve got more experience than most fresh, new faces. Gotta start somewhere and I wanted to go where they needed the help. This place⊠well, itâs a little understaffed at the moment, yeah?â
Andy nodded as he listened to her, but there was a small frown that said he didnât quite agree. âI donât know exactly why youâre here, Anna, but there are all sorts of reasons for someone to be in an asylum, and none of them make you guilty, if that makes sense. I know folks who checked themselves in because they needed to learn coping skills to live with a whole range of things. What some folks call insanity is just another personâs every day. We all perceive reality in our own unique way, and society generally wants people to conform more than is healthy. So itâs about finding a balance, where youâre happy with how you feel, and can function reasonably well with others.â
He laughed, âYou know, Iâm sure this isnât the same severity as some of the folks in here, but Iâm colorblind. Canât see a lick of color, but I didnât realize that for years. When one of my professors found it out, they thought I was just being lazy, not describing or choosing colors correctly. So I donât perceive reality quite like anyone else. And there I go preaching again. Sorry, bad habit of mine. Comes from long nights and longer discussions while high.â Shrugging, he turned the conversation back towards Anna.
âYouâre making friends in here? Thatâs great. A good friend can make any situation bearable.â
Anna raised an eyebrow at Andyâs mention heâd been in therapy before he went into the job. Though maybe it wasnât as surprising as Anna had first considered- perhaps heâd had a good psychiatrist and wanted to pay back to society? âReally?â Anna didnât want to press Andy on why heâd been in therapy, but the discovery had surprised the redhead a little bit. âYeah, we arenât exactly full to the brim of decent staff at the moment. There used to be more, butâŠâ Theyâd all just left. And then the angels, demons, and monsters had all shown up instead.
âI guess you arenât wrong there.â Anna admitted, chewing at one lip in thought. âBut I definitely didnât check myself in, so Iâm not sure I fall into the more âeverydayâ category.â Or maybe Anna was being self-centered. After all, the only thing âwrongâ with her was the auditory hallucinations, and the post-traumatic stress disorder. Since discovering that the angel voices were real, Anna could really be classified as having been âcuredâ in some respects; she was no longer deluded. Or maybe she had simply and finally dropped right off of the deep end, never to return. It was a disturbing and distracting thought that she didnât want to dwell on.
Andyâs next monologue came as a bit more of a shock to Anna. The anecdote about colour blindness brought a smile to her face, but- âHigh?â Where on earth did all of the staff get their drugs exactly? First it had been the whiskey, the purported porn collection, and now hallucinogens. âI canât say Iâve ever had the experience. Iâm not really a wild child. And donât worry about it.â Anna grinned lopsidedly.
âAh, yeah- Iâve never really made friends in here before.â Sheâd never bothered to, more content to bemoan her own demons, the apocalypse that she could see coming but no one else believed in. âMainly Ruby. Dean and Castiel. And Maryâs nice, but Iâm not sure staff members properly count.â
âYeah.â Andy nodded, gesturing vaguely with his hands. âI went to âem off and on growing up, which was pretty usual for any of us in the foster care system. Then when my foster parents were killed, I started my sessions back up again. Had a⊠a lot to work through, yeah know? If you ever want details, feel free to ask.â
âYup, I am a firm believer in the recreational use of cannabis, but at the same time I know itâs not for everyone. Iâve always found mind altering drugs to be a really interesting subject for study⊠and I donât just mean by using, either. Actually wrote my thesis on the use of mental states in the treatment of certain mental and personality disorders.â In that moment, Andy sounded every inch the professional that he was, not the laid back pot head he so often appeared to be.Â
âBut yeah, itâs good to hear that your finding companions in here. Socialization is a fun process, not always easy, but more often than not rewarding.â
âIâm sorry to hear that.â Anna stated, a small frown souring her expression. âYeah, yeah I get you. I just didnât want to intrude on your privacy. Youâre the psychiatrist, right? Not my place to question you, itâd be rude. I guess Iâm here if you want to tell me, though.â Anna hadnât seen her parents in months, but at least she knew that they were safe and sound. Andyâs parents had never been around in the first place, and then the stability heâd found had been ripped away, it seemed. Anna felt slightly uncomfortable questioning him about it, but that didnât stop her feeling sympathy, and more than a little admiration, for the new psychiatrist.
âI have to admit Iâm not an expert with scientific theory- I majored in journalism before I was carted in here.â Anna confessed with a weak smile. âWhat interests you about it?â She inquired, almost shocked at how quickly Andy had switched from laid-back staff member to brain expert. It was disconcerting.
âNot easy? You can say that again- I think I help more than hinder those guys.â Anna snorted. âTheyâre good people though. Have you met any of the other staff members yet?â
âOh, no worries there, Iâm not really a private person. You ever have a question, feel free to ask it. Too many people today are too worried about what others think about them to ever be themselves. I realized a long time ago that what happened to me, happened, and I either had to come to terms with it or Iâd lose myself.â Andy shrugged, âIn a lot of ways, Iâm a simple man with simple pleasures, but science, well⊠Iâve just always loved it. It makes sense out of all of this.â He motioned to the room around them, the world in all its intricacies.
âI mean, it canât explain everything, but it gets most of it. Chemicals in the brain, neural receptors, hormones, electrical impulses. But then youâve got the bigger questions on top of all that structure, the existential stuff, like why are we here and what purpose does man serve, in society, in our world, in isolation. Hence the career path, well, partially anyways.â He smiled a little sheepishly, knowing that he was rambling some, getting a little too impassioned for his own good.
âI popped in and met Mary Winchester for a few second, but she seemed really busy and I needed to set up my office, so not really.â Then he sized her up for a moment and addressed her earlier comment. âDonât worry about being a help or hindrance to others, just do your best. If youâre still new at the whole friend scene, just remember, treat others as youâd wish to be treated⊠or better.â
Anna chewed on her lip, thoughtful for a moment. ââŠOkay, if I ever have a question, I guess Iâll just ask.â She smiled lightly. âI could never get the hang of science- I was always a bit too superstitious for my own good anyway. I see where youâre coming from, though- making sense of the universe. My dad worked in a church while I was growing up, so I defaulted to religion to explain everything I couldnât answer. It didnât really work out for me in the end.â Annaâs smile became a grimace.
âAt least youâve found your calling, right? Some people drift through life totally clueless, but youâve found what you want to do and youâre doing. Iâm not sure why youâd come here of all places,â Anna joked. âBut you know where youâre going.â The zeal that Andy had for his career was something that Anna had not found in the Host, not that she remembered. No, they had been eager to please their superiors, but that was truly the extent of their emotions as angels. Anger and a sick sort of glee.
âThanks, but I think Iâm still gonna freak out about it. Iâll keep the advice in mind though.â Anna added as an afterthought. âYour office doesnât quite look like the other offices Iâve been in. I did like the sign though, that was a nice touch.â
âYeah, but itâs easier for me. Iâve never cared about being traditionally successful or rich or famous. So when I finally found something that I cared about, I went after it because I liked it, simple as that. Too many people worry about all these extraneous things that just⊠donât matter, and that saps the joy out of their work, hobbies, whatever.â Andy explained.
âAnd as far as religion, people tend to take it too far, adding rules above and beyond what it originally was all about. I mean, the bible is a great example, right? It has these laws and regulation that were set down for one civilization, but then Yahweh instigates a new covenant, and the old one is no longer necessary, but the real zealous Orthodox Jews still use the old ones. Or churches in America that say no one is allowed to dance with members of the opposite sex or say that worship music has to be done a certain way.â He shook his head. âI think religion can be great, man, really helps some people, but organized religion starts to get real easily abused. But⊠thatâs probably not a discussion youâd want to have?â Sheepish that heâd started sermonizing yet again, he smiled and shrugged.
âWell, they said that we were allowed to decorate our own offices, so I figured why should I make it all cold and clinical? I still need to add some area carpets and maybe some tapestries to absorb the sound a little better, add some warmth. Iâm not here to judge folks, so I donât want the room to give off that vibe either.â
âThis might be the most philosophical introduction Iâve ever had with anyone.â Anna smiled, joking in good nature. âI do see where youâre coming from, though. I never really had that much of a calling in life, before I got in here. I had a few hobbies, things I like to do on rainy days, but I was really just wandering aimlessly.â Anna admitted.
âDefinitely. I think the basis of most religions is really just âbe a good personâ, but a lot of people lose sight of that one fundamental. It really ruins the whole idea of faith for a lot of people, when they see what some of the more over-zealous followers of a religion can turn it into. And itâs fine, really- Iâm not that interesting to talk to anyway, youâre pretty much carrying this conversation.â Anna smiled lopsidedly, almost sheepishly. She could have waxed lyrical on her thoughts about the Bible and Heaven, what with being one of the minor characters of the book, but she didnât particularly want to disclose her âreligious delusionsâ firsthand to the new psychiatrist.
âThe sofa is a pretty good touch- nobody likes sitting in those chairs, right in front of the doctorâs desk anyway.â Anna admitted. âFeels like an interrogation if you have to talk to someone in it, as though youâre getting yelled out in the head teacherâs office. Well, it always did do to me. And the world could always do with more tapestries.â
âIs it sad that I canât say the same? A lot of the people I know get really philosophical at three in the morning when weâre smoking together, so Iâve met a lot of people while deep in discussion over the Pentateuch, bodhisattvas, and the transience of the human soul.â Andy looked up for a moment, trying to think if there were any other sublime topics that he often touched back to when high, but those were some of the most colorful within the realm of religion and philosophy.Â
âHey now, donât think like that. You actually are quite interesting to talk to. Everyone brings something unique to a conversation, yeah?â
He had to agree with her assessment of the chairs in front of the desk. âSadly they said I had to have them in here, or I would have done away with them entirely.â
âIâd say itâs pretty awesome- I almost feel like Iâm missing out. I barely cope with alcohol though, Iâm not sure pushing the boundaries with recreational drugs would be my best idea.â Anna admitted, pulling a face.
âIâm interesting enough in a friendly, ginger girl sort of way, but Iâm not quite the intellectual that you are Iâm afraid.â Anna smiled. âIâm much more of a personality at parties. I can really tear up a dance floor.â She deadpanned.
âMy sympathies. Itâs in situations like these that I fully encourage small-scale rebellion, though I think the best you might get away with in terms of rebelling through decor is the use of an unusual cushion.â
âGetting high and having philosophical debates isnât for everyone, trust me. I think everyone should try it once if theyâre comfortable with the idea, but I know better than to think it solves anything on its own. Because if youâre using it as a crutch, itâs still a crutch, and no healthier than any other.â
The first thought that came to mind at the word ginger was the food, and it took Andy a moment to remember that it was a color for hair. He looked at her and wondered what ginger looked like, but trying to understand color for Andy was like trying to ask a fish to understand walking. It simply was beyond his reach.
âI think I can go bigger than a cushion. None of them have noticed the tantric nudes.â He thumbed over at the wall where a series of tastefully done nude couples were holding onto each other, never showing anything more indecent than a cheek. It was rather amazing the abstract shapes that the bodies melded together to make.
âSo how long have you been, well, getting high and having philosophical debates?â Anna was a little hesitant to ask, but Andy had insisted it was fine, and she was curious. âWhatâs it like?â All of her own hallucinations had only ever been auditory ones.
âTantricâŠ?â Anna followed Andyâs thumb to the paintings on the wall, her mouth darting upwards in a grin at the small, surprisingly tasteful rebellion against the institution. âNicely played, sir, nicely played. I donât think you could stitch tantric nudes into the office chairs, though. Unless youâre a whiz at sewing too, then I donât think Iâd put it past you at all.â
âUm, since I was⊠twelve? Thatâs when I found marijuana and stopped just stealing prescriptions and over the counters. Much easier on the system than Xanax or Prozac.â Andy replied, perfectly open and forthright. âWell, theyâre all different, but, for me, a lot of the time itâs just⊠mellowing. I normally donât care about things, but with it, you just feel so good, like life is all worth it. Itâs a⊠euphoria. Of course everyone in a while you get a bad batch and thatâs when the anxiety can kick in, but sometimes itâs good to experience the bad too, so you appreciate the good.â
âAnd civilizations have been using cannabis for thousands of years as a religious or spiritual enhancement, spirit guides, spirit walks, that sort of stuff.â
He looked over at the photos again as she appreciated them. âWhat can I say? Iâm a master of sticking it to the man.â
Anna accepted Andyâs explanation with a nod, his openness putting her at ease. âTwelve? How did you manage to get any when you were that young?â Anna wondered just how naive she sounded. Of course, she was hardly innocent (at least, Anael wasnât), but Anna Milton had all the rebelliousness and slyness of a pebble in her. How Dean stole all of his alcohol, and now how Andy had managed to find someone willing to sell a twelve year old marijuana, was utterly beyond the redhead. âI can see the allure of it, relaxing for a few hours.â Anna doubted that she would ever try the drug, but perhaps in another lifetime the Milton girl couldâve turned to such things. She certainly made no judgment on the psychiatrist for his habit.
âA master of sticking it to the man? I take it that title comes from years of practice- itâs not one you can just throw around, after all.â She smiled.
âWhere thereâs a willâŠâ Andy replied with the old adage, shrugged a little with a smirk playing about his lips. âHonestly itâs not that hard to get drugs as long as you have the right connections, which can be a little hard to forge at first, but not impossible.â Heâd been quite the precocious youth. âYeah, it certainly is good for that. A lot of the folks I knew who used it were trying to escape, even just for a little while, the lives they lived. But I knew others who just genuinely enjoyed it for its own sake.â
He laughed at her comment, nodding his agreement. âNo, thatâs true. I uh, havenât always been this respectable. This is tame to what I would have done a few years ago, too. I would have taken off the door, hung a beaded curtain, probably put a disco ball in. Made it a total lounge from the seventies.â
Anna smiled lightly at Andyâs mention of the saying, supposing that he had a very valid point. âFor enjoymentâs sake? What do you do if you end up on a bad trip though?â She questioned, curious rather than judgmental of the habit. She certainly had no right to judge any other for questionable actions, not after regaining Anaelâs memories. That angel had been ruthless, an automaton, something that Anna doubted Andy had ever been- he was innocent. Though with the influx of supernatural beings into Lawrence, Anna didnât half wonder whether Andy was quite as ordinary as he had at first seemed. The thought stuck in the back of her mind; she would have to ask the Winchesters about him later.
âBeaded curtain and disco ball? I suddenly feel as though the room is lacking.â She grinned. âA seventies lounge would certainly be an interesting place for a therapy session, at the very least.â
Andy smiled, but it was a little uneasy as he thought of some of the worse trips heâd been on. âWell those, mainly you try to avoid, things like buying from one seller, not taking too much at once if you do have to switch. But mostly? You hold your ass tight and try not to freak out too much. And there are a lot of drugs that have worse âbad tripsâ. Had a friend who was on acid, thought he had spiders under his skin, kept scratching until he tore open his wrists. It was⊠well it was bad.â He looked off for a moment, trying his best not to remember that one.
Switching back to happier thoughts and decorating, he nodded, âRight? I mean, we could make this a real cherry office. Get it spruced up. Maybe put in an old jukebox in the corner.â
Anna hissed in empathy for the friend that Andy described. âOuch. Iâm sorry to hear that.â Sorry I brought it up. Anna felt an uncomfortable niggle of guilt worming its way into her stomach for casting the psychiatrists mind back to such things. Heâd been nothing but friendly, after all.
âHonestly? I think Iâll be disappointed now if I donât come back and find your office totally redecorated.â Anna smiled. âItâs less a case of âmaybeâ and more a case of âneedâ, I think.â
âOh, itâs alright. He made it through, swore off drugs though after that. Not that I blame him.â Andy replied, seeing her guilt in her stance and slight cringe and trying to placate it. She had asked a question, and hadnât meant to hurt him, nothing malicious.
âWell, Iâll have to put some calls in and see what I can have delivered. Maybe one of those giant singing trout? But weâll of course have to replace the song, so that itâs starts up with âIn A Gadda Da Vidaâ, yeah? Maybe get a big tiger rug? And Iâm thinking shag for the walls⊠wall to wall shag.â He couldnât quite keep a straight face and started snickering as he motioned with his hands, imaging the shag everywhere.
âWell, Iâm glad he was okay.â She replied, expression easing, glad that Andy hadnât taken any malice from her words. âI guess itâs just not for everybody, personal choice and everything.â
Anna nodded at the psychiatrists suggestions, grinning. âDefinitely. A hula girl for the desk, gaudy flower print wallpaper. And of course, wall to wall shag. The office just wouldnât be complete without it. Youâd have to dress the part too, I think. Couldnât be having respectable doctor wear in an office like that. Itâd just ruin it.â
âOh, I know. This monkey suit has been cramping my style for days. I should go out, get a bathrobe, maybe some yoga pants. And more necklaces,â he felt his bare neck and nodded, âdefinitely more necklaces. Now wait, hula girl of Chihuahua bobble head doll? This is a big decision, man, so choose carefully.â
âThatâs a lot of pressure to put on somebodyâs head up front, but⊠I think Iâm gonna have to go with the hula girl. Itâs just such a classic, you know?â Anna settled on. âI think the bathrobe is also a must- the board of governors would throw a fit. Itâd be marvelous.â
âIâm sorry, I know it is, but I trust youâre the right woman for the job, Anna.â Andy said with a smile, glad to see her playing along with the bit of silliness. âAnd if they didnât throw a fit, Iâd have to add bunny slippers, because what psychiatrist in their right mind would wear bunny slippers to work. All his patients would steal them before the day was done.â He laughed, shaking his head, honestly tempted now to go out and wear one of his nicer silk robes over his uniform tomorrow.
âIâm glad you have such faith in me.â Anna smiled back, pleased that the psychiatrist hadnât attempted to âdelve into her psycheâ right away, instead opting to build up a bit of an acquaintanceship first. âYouâre really getting my hopes up, doc. If you donât come strolling in tomorrow in your casual wear, I think there are going to be a lot of disappointed parties.â
âYou have to have a little faith in people, otherwise youâll never know how far theyâll fly. And if they fail and fall, you pick them up, dust them off, and help them try again.â Andy replied with his kindly, oddly sage knowledge. It was almost amazing how he never came off sounding pretentious with some of the things he said. âAnd donât you worry. Iâll grab my casual wear first thing tomorrow morning. Might make me look even younger,â which might be a problem as the poor man already had a difficult time passing for 16, let alone 22, âbut Iâll see what I can do.â
The advice brought a smile to Annaâs face, more serene than her earlier grin. Underneath the drugs and the humor, Andy certainly had the mind of a professional, and the spirit of someone who wanted to help too, who wasnât just in the profession for the paycheck. âIâll keep that in mind. And I have to admit, Iâm looking forward to my morning a lot more than I was earlier.â Anna replied. âSo⊠I guess I ought to leave you to it, then? I couldnât be interrupting a man while he was at his work. Youâve gotta have this room in tip-top, 70s-esque shape after all.â
Andy returned her smile, his own wide and achingly heartfelt, almost childlike in its innocence. âWell, Iâm glad to hear that.â Then he looked about his room and checked the time on the clock. âAh, youâre right. I suppose itâs about time for lunch anyways, so Iâll just scamper off to get some decorations from my van while I get my lunch, and if âthe manâ donât like it, weâll just tell them they canât join in our party.â He laughed lightly as he stood up, holding out a hand to her.
âItâs been great, Anna. Feel free to stop by anytime you need an infusion of the 70s or maybe just a brighter outlook. Yeah?â
Moving to her feet, Anna grinned at Andyâs speech, the latter part eliciting a chuckle from the redhead. âThatâs just how we roll, broâ.â She confirmed, taking a hold of the offered hand while she wished the psychiatrist her goodbyes. âYeah, itâs been great meeting you too Andy. Iâll definitely be around for a visit, I think, once youâve got everything sorted out.â She added. âAnd thanks, seriously. That helped more than I thought it would.â Her smile was sincere, the fallen angel honestly surprised by how good company Andy had been. From experience, everyone but Mary Winchester had made for appalling psychiatrists. âIâll be seeing you around, then.â She released his hand, moving to the door, waving over her shoulder before slipping back out into the corridor and rejoining the fray.
Andy nodded and waved after her, watching her until she had disappeared back into the labyrinth of the asylum. Then he flipped the sign on his door over so that it informed people that he was out to lunch, and he strolled off to get himself some lunch and a change of clothes. After all, he worked in an asylum, surely no one would hold it against him if he wore slightly less than professional clothes. Right? He smirked and shook his head. Of course they would, but he was fairly certain that his work would speak well enough for him that his attire wouldnât matter.
Summary: Garth comes in to Andyâs office and they start talking about what makes a person special.
Andy finished moving the last of his boxes into his new office. Man, it was kind of crazy to think that heâd finally done it, all those years of schooling, all those hours interning, but heâd done it. He had his first real, honest to goodness job as a psychiatrist.
Carefully organizing his meager belongings about the room, he noticed that the door had shut behind him. So he grabbed his little hanging white board and scrawled a note on to it, before grabbing a tack and walking over to the door. Opening it back up and setting the door jam, he hung his sign.
The Doctor Is IN. :)
Wiping his hands off on his pants, he looked around his office and smiled. Yup, heâd finally done it. Now to get down to organizing all the files in his desk and waiting to see if anyone would drop by.
Garth poked his head around the open door of the new office. âYouâre uh, new here, right?â
Andy looked up and smiled, a warm an inviting smile. âYeah, that I am. Nameâs Andy.â He stood up and motioned for the man to come inside. âAnd you are?â
Garth nodded and stepped inside the man- Andyâs- office. âMy nameâs Garth. I uh, I dont know, I just wanted to see if there was anyone to talk to. Itâs what my old psychiatrist told me to do.â
âYeah, no Iâd be happy to talk to you. My door is always open, unless itâs not, but then my sign should say where you can find me.â Andy rambled some, still a bit nervous, with this being his first day and all. âBut yeah, pull up a chair, tell me about yourself. I am entirely at your disposal.â
Garth nodded softly before moving into the office and taking a seat in front of a large wooden desk. âWell, my name is Garth Fitzgerald IV, and I was admitted for Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Borderline Personality Disorder. I can get a bit jumpy at times too, i guess- haha -but i usually try to keep things together.â Garth nervously shrugged and fiddled with Mr. Fizzles, who was snuggly hugging his forearm.
âGarth, thatâs a real unique name. I donât think Iâve ever met a Garth before.â Andy replied, eyes bright. âAnd not to make light of what reasons you came in here for, but tell me about YOU.â He urged sitting cross-legged on top of his desk. âI mean, weâre never the sum of our problems or trials, right? Thatâs what makes life so amazing, people so amazing, that we each have our own story, whether good, bad, or indifferent.â
âAlthough if you donât want to talk about yourself, thatâs fine to. Iâm here to be whatever help I can be for all of you guys. If I can be help by listening to you rant about the soup lady⊠do you guys have a soup lady? Well, then Iâd be happy to listen to that, especially outside of any scheduled meetings we might have in the future.â
âSolitude is a good thing, a lot of the time, really.â Andy agreed, a slight chuckle in his voice. He understood wanting time to yourself, but full on agoraphobia was a little more than just that, he knew. âAnd donât worry, Iâm generally pretty good at respecting personal boundaries⊠unless Iâm high. Then Iâm a total cuddler, like a koala.â It was true, one of his poor friends had had to sleep in the back of his van because they hadnât been able to pry Andy off.
Looking over at Mr. Fizzles, he waved a little. âHey Mr. Fizzles. So you help out our friend, Garth here? Thatâs real good of you.â Moving his gaze back to Garth he smiled again, the sort of smile that reaches into the very depths of your eyes and soul, the warm sort of smile that almost never failed to put people at ease. âYouâll be perfectly safe whenever youâre in my office, Garth, just want you to know that. But, whatâs this about your past job? People didnât like it?â
Garth as well as Mr. Fizzles, nodded as Andy spoke. He was one of the few people who didnât judge him on first glance. âThank you, it-it really helps to know that Iâll always have some sort of a safe haven. And uh, my job,â Garth petted MR. Fizzles. âit was just rather, unorthodox work -Pest Control.â He remembered Dean had used that explanation once.
âEh, if youâre not safe here, then Iâm sucking as a human being, not just doing my job wrong.â Andy never wanted anyone to think he wanted to help them just because it was his job. âBesides, asylums can be crazy places, and sometimes we need somewhere to just hide out, yeah?â He chuckles when he realized the unintentional pun in his statement.
âPeople didnât like you because you got rid of their pests?â He sat back and thought a moment, before shaking his head. âI guess maybe they didnât see pests the same way as you did? But in my book, taking care of pests should be a pretty appreciated job.â
âWell,â Garth started, âitâs not so much the people who i helped that didnât appreciate me, as much as the other people who i told. They thought I was insane when I told them what I did, and they kind of just,â Garth shrugged âshunned me. I ended up just kind of my own, doing my own thing.â Garth sniffed and looked up at Andy with big puppy dog eyes.
Andy was coming to the conclusion that pest control was a very vague way to talk about whatever job Garth had done, and he wondered if it was merely a place holder all together. âWell, people are unfair that way, excommunicating people simply because theyâre different, or live a lifestyle disparage from their own.â He shrugged and picked up a little amber paperweight that had a mosquito trapped inside of it, which he handed to Garth.
âTake that mosquito for example. Most people will universally tell you that they dislike them, some folks will know enough to say that only the females actually need the nutritional supplement that they get from blood, but people donât care for them. But then, stick it in some old tree sap? Bam, everyone marvels over it and thinks itâs the greatest thing.â Pausing for a moment to see if Garth and Mr. Fizzles were following along, he continued, âSo peopleâs opinions are like that about other people too. We might take the time to know a few cursory facts about each other, but we rarely care about the person. But give us something strange and unique, like her amber there, or some trait that others think of as crazy, and suddenly they âcareâ about you, positively or negatively. Yeah?â
âYeah, yeah, I get it. And thatâs what kinda happens. People donât really get the chance to know me though, so they uh, donât really have a chance to see whatâs so unique about me, if theyâreâs anything at all.â Garth smiled weakly up at Andy and fiddled with Mr. Fizzles a little more. âIn fact,â Garth scoffed, âIâm pretty sure that people thought me more the nuisance idea that we get with the first few facts of mosquito.â
âWell then, how about we take some time and discover what is unique about you, and not just the pithy âunique special snowflakeâ sort of stuff. Because you know, in my whole life, Iâve never met anyone who wasnât interesting. They might not all be nice, and some might not be safe to know, to be acquainted with, but Iâve benefited and grew with each person Iâve met.â Andy said, full of earnest conviction. âAnd I might have only known you for a few minutes here, but you donât really strike me a nuisance.â
Garth smiled at Andyâs words. âThank you, Andy. And I honestly donât know what makes me a, uhm, special snowflake, per say, haha. Iâm really quite the average person, just with a few more problems.â
âJust speakinâ the truth, man. Although I speak it with considerably more love than most people.â Andy looked down at his hands and shook his head. âWell, if you donât know what it is, look for it. We can figure it out. Have you tried asking Mr. Fizzles? Youâd be surprised what a different perspective can reveal.â
Garth looked down at his hand and smiled at Mr. Fizzles. âI havenât really, maybe heâll have something to say.â He shrugged at his puppet and asked, âWhat do you say, do you think i have something special about me?â Mr. Fizzles twisted around to look at Garth. âGarth, youâre a stand-up lad. Donât say that youâve got nothing special about you, because Mr. Fizzles can tell when youâre being a liar!â Garth chuckled and turned to Andy. âI guess I listen to people a lot. That seems like a pretty good thingâŠâ
Andy had to fight to keep the smile from his face as Mr. Fizzles encouraged, and lightly chastised, Garth. It was encouraging to see that Garth could externalize emotions, but at the same time, he couldnât help but wonder how much of a separate personality the little sock puppet truly represented. Well, he was certain to find out in time.
âSee? Fizzles agrees with me.â He made a little check mark in the air. âAnd listening to people is a very good thing. Not enough people do.â
âI guess I just know what itâs like to be ignored, and how crappy it feels, so, I donât know; I guess I just made sure to never ignore anyone if i could help it.â Garth shrugged and smiled at Andy. He liked the guy.Â
Andy looked at Garth and marveled at the manâs gentle soul. He understood, perfectly, what Garth meant, and he couldnât help the phrase that slipped past his lips. âThe loneliest people are the kindest, the saddest people smile the brightest, the most damaged people are the wisest, all because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.â He shook his head and smiled a little morosely. âYouâre a real good man, Garth. Donât you ever doubt that.â
Garth smiled softly, answering Andyâs statement softly, âThank you, Andy. Although, itâs a bit difficult to do when Iâve been denied contact my entire lifeâŠâ Garth trailed off and looked away from Andy.
Andy stood up and walked over to Garth and as slowly as one might approach a wild animal, he bent forward and placed both of his hands on Garthâs shoulders, until he was at eye level with the man. Giving a gentle squeeze, he said, âWell then, Iâm here to remind you any time you need.â
Garth tried to look away and sniffed a bit before he made eye contact with Andy. âThank you, Andy, that means a lot to me, it really does.â Garth always had a bit more difficult to deal with than most others.
One more gentle squeeze for good measure and then Andy stood back up and went back to lean against his desk once more. âYouâre welcome Garth.â Heâd seen too many broken, jaded souls in his life, so meeting Garth was a pleasure.
âSo, anything else you want to know?â Garth inquired.
Andy moved his hands, silent gestures as his mind mulled over the question. âHow long have you been here?â He wanted to ask a million questions, like what Garth had lived through and why a sock puppet and what he would do if he got back out, but he didnât feel it was the right time for any of those. Best to keep things simple for now.
âIâve been here for about a week. Itâs been a rather interesting week.â Garth smiled.
âI can imagine, this seems like quite the unique place. Whatâs your favorite thing thatâs happened so far?â Andy loved to look at the positive and help people remember that life wasnât as bleak as they tended to think of it. Garth didnât seem like the type to wallow in misery or overlook blessings, but it was still a helpful exercise all the same.
Garth pondered for a minute. âTo be honest, i think this might be. Itâs nice to be able to actually talk to someone without fear of judgment for a change.â He smiled at Andy.
Andy smiled back and felt a beautiful joy that he had been able to help someone, even in this little way. âWell, Iâm honored. And youâre free to drop in any time you like. My doorâs always open.â He meant that, except for the few erratic hours in the night when he slept, or tried to.
âYouâre new here too, arenât you? I met Mary, but I hadnât seen you yet.âÂ
âYeah. Just transferred here this morning. Spent the past couple days driving down from Pennsylvania where I used to intern.â Andy explained, âSo Iâm pretty much fresh meat around here. But it seems like a pretty good place so far.â
Garth nodded at the story. âWell, I think that youre doing a great job around here. Itâs really nice to be able to talk to someone.âÂ
âThanks, dude, thatâs uh⊠really all I can hope for. I mean, I wanna be approachable enough that people can feel safe coming to me with whatâs going on in their lives, in their past. I know how vulnerable a position that can be to be in.â Andy replied resting his chin in his hand. âNo one wants to be fully visible to others, fully known, and yet at the same time people crave to be understood and appreciate for who they are. Itâs an interesting dichotomy, man.â
âThatâs true. I mean, i know that sometimes its really difficult for me to deal with that kind of stuff: uh, opening up and all. but I know that itâs probably good for me.â He smiled and mirrored Andyâs movements with the non-Fizzles clad hand.
âItâs as important to know who to open up to as how to open up. If youâre too trusting youâll go through your life continually getting used and hurt by people, however if youâre not trusting enough, you might just miss out on some of the most important people youâll ever meet.â Andy said sagely. âAlthough in here, you donât have to worry much about trusting untrustworthy individuals, so you can safely focus on getting better at the rest of it.â
âI think thatâs where some of my problems arose. I put my trust into people that I couldnât trust and they abused it. Now, I have problems trusting anyone. But I understand what youâre saying; itâs something that I definitely need to work on.â
âWell, I have no doubt that youâll make headway in no time.â Andy thought for a moment and tapped a finger against his desk. âHow about this. Do you think a little journaling might help you get your thoughts on the matter in order? Because if you want, I have an exercise that could help you look at situations objectively. And Mr. Fizzles is most definitely allowed to help.â
Mr. Fizzles turned to Garth and nodded sharply and Garth smiled at him. âThat sounds like a great idea, if itâs not too much trouble. I think that could actually help me figure out how to cope with certain things that are going on.â
âGroovy.â Andy exclaimed, walking around to hunt through one of the drawers of his desk. He came back a few moments later with a brand new journal and a pencil, both of which he handed to Garth. âAlright, so letâs try this. Write down a journal entry every other day. You can write about the people, the food, whatever you want. Express yourself to your journal as much as you feel you can, and remember, it canât judge you, wonât judge you.â
âBut then, I also want you to make entries, maybe one every few days or all at once, however you feel comfortable, about the people you meet here. And I want you to make a two columns next to their names. The first one is for things they do or say that are good, friendly, helpful. If someone sits down next to you and has a conversation, mark it down, if they ask you to play Guess Who, mark it down. Then in the other column, I want you to write down things that are hurtful that people do. So if they insult you or ignore you, those sorts of things. Making this list should help reinforce in your mind that the relationships you make in life are choices, either good or bad, and we should always evaluate if people are a good, uplifting influence, or if theyâre draining or hurtful. Sound good, man?â
Garth nodded, trying to hang on to each and every word that Andy said, reaching out to take the items Andy handed him. He thumbed through the pages of the tan leather journal, itâs pale pages unmarked and new. He tried to imagine just what this book would look like with his scrawled writing all over it. He looked up when Andy had finished his instructions and nodded.
âI think thatâll be something thatâs good for me. Iâll try to get that set up as soon as possible.â Garth smiled at Andy.
âAwesome. And Garth,â Andy added, âIâm not going to be reading this, so donât worry if you take a day off or canât think of anything to write. This is for your own benefit. If you come in again later and wrote something down and want to bring it up, thatâs totally fine, but the journal is just a tool to help you. And, I for one, think youâre gonna be great at it.â
Garth smiled at the praise he wasnât used to getting. It was all so new to him, and it was almost overwhelming. âThank you, Andy.â Garth said in earnest. He pulled the journal close to his chest and delved in the sweet smell of the leather. âThis is very kind of you.â
âItâs my pleasure, Garth. I mean, itâs also my job, but I genuinely like helping folks figure out who they are. Thatâs the biggest question weâve got, who are we, what we put our identity in, whether thatâs what other people think or what we think or what we believe in.â
âI completely agree with that. Itâs all one big puzzle. Again, youâre great at your job.â Garth stood and smiled.
Andy stood up as well and held out a hand to Garth, âThank you, Garth. Itâs nice to hear that. A lot of people donât like shrinks the first few times. So thank you for being so open.â
âIâll be back soon, Iâm sure of it,â Garth said as he gripped Andyâs hand in a firm shake. He enjoyed his time here and hoped that Andy wouldnât be too annoyed with his sure to be frequent visits.
âWell, Iâll be looking forward to it. Take care of yourself out there, man.â Andy replied, smiling as he watched Garth head for the door. Well, that had gone really well. He silently prayed that Garth wouldnât have too hard a time out there, as he had no doubt that the kind soul had his fair share of tribulations. Now if only all his meetings could go this well.
Garth nodded and waved as he left the room, still clutching the leather journal close to his chest.
Rating: T (Mentions of past violence and drug use)
Summary: Sam comes into Andyâs office while trying to avoid someone, merely looking for shelter. However he ends up getting a one on one session that was more than he bargained for.
Donât mind the tall man power-walking into the office, brusquely shoving the door shut behind him, loudly sliding the guest seat flush to the wood and planting himself there. He knew this might become a security issue, but at least heâd have several moments peace before the call got through. This would be the first time he voluntarily attended a private session, though, so maybe there would be leniency. Looking a touch haggard, he held up a hand and took an easy breath.
âItâs okay. Iâm just avoiding someone.â Sam kept his hand hovering there and then he drew back bangs from his eyes. Okay. He swallowed and tried to push beyond that form of an entrance, smiling in a decidedly ingenuously friendly manner. âUh⊠so⊠I have an appointment, I think. Hey.â
Andy looked up from where he was, sprawled on his bean bag in the corner of his office, and he caught the ball heâd been tossing without looking, a funny little raise to his eyebrows as he looked at Sam. âOh, hey.â Scrambling to sit up, he rested his arms between his bent knees, looking far too young and exuberant to actually be a certified psychiatrist, but he was. Then there was a moment of silence as he contemplated Samâs words.
âOh, appointment!â So he pushed himself out of his bean bag with a sinuous motion and he padded over to his desk, and he flipped open his book. He didnât have anything written down, but he might have just missed the memo. âWell, I donât have you down here, but my whole day is open, so⊠Want to have an appointment? Or pretend to in case your pursuer tries to find you? I can act all official and tell him that weâre discussing highly personal, doctor-patient confidential things, and that they need to leave. Howâs that sound?â
âOh,â he walked back around to Sam and held out a hand, âwhere are my manners? Iâm Andy.â
Thatâs the guy?
Not that Sam was interested in discussing, really, anything - anything - presently occurring in his life, but seriously? Without reprimand nor apparent concern over his arguably crazy actions, he tentatively relaxed and⊠maybe Lucifer had realized his own humanness for the time being. Maybe, that was why no knocking, banging or doorknob-jingling came as his doctor fumbled to the desk. An ambush would naturally come the instant he left, so heâd enjoy the break.
âIneffectual,â he muttered to himself, thatâs how it sounded. In part because nothing really mattered to Lucifer; even worse, he was almost certain the âpersonalâ part would (wrongly) tempt him even more. The hand, he took almost reflexively and now the smile was a little less fake.
âSam.â His hand dropped like that and he rubbed over his forearm idly, tension easing away. âYeah, Iâd like an appointment. Itâ doesnât seem like heâll be a problem, but thank you. That would be great.â
It took Andy a moment to realize that Sam was saying that telling his pursuer to leave would be ineffectual, and not having an appointment. That would be sad, to have a patient run into your room to hide, and then not want to talk to you, although heâd certainly had his unfair share of those back in Pennsylvania.
âWell, itâs great meeting you Sam. Hopefully I wonât just see you when you need a place to duck into, but my office is always welcome if you do need a place to hide. Or chill, or talk⊠or, if you catch me on a really good day, smoke. Although⊠Iâm getting a straight laced vibe from you. Not into reefer, are you?â He shook his head, he was getting off topic again. It was one thing to be laid back, but an entirely other thing to appear incompetent at his job.
âAlright. Well,â He made his way and perched lightly on the corner of his desk, one hand in his lap while the other gestured towards Sam, âhow would you like to do this? We can have the generic introductory appointment where you clam up and give me superficial facts about your family and your childhood, or we could have me talk so you find out slightly more in depth factoids about me to help establish some sort of bond of trust between us, or we can dive right into it and talk about whatever pressing matters are on your mind. All up to you, Sam.â Andy said with his easy smile.
Samâs expression shifted incrementally from a sheepish smile, quiet laugh directed at his lap, to something like surprise. His brows lifted, the smile returning in a smack of incredulity as he listened and regarded the young man with amusement. What kind of doctor asked thatâŠ? He blinked at the question, only had the time to, because Andy was back on his exuberantly-paced chat style. Sam listened patiently and felt a weight on his eyes drag his gaze down briefly.
âUh. B,â he chose more in jest than anything. Without request, Sam gripped his armrests and stood, dragging the chair to a reasonable distance from the desk. Maybe he tossed a fleeting glance to the door, but it ended and he dropped back down like a ragdoll. âHonestly, Iâm not ready to discuss pressing matters, so anything else is okay, right now.â
This one seemed the sort to value patient autonomy above all, so he didnât worry too much about probing â though, all shrinks would make a move eventually. He knew that much.
âIâve smoked before,â he added as though it was a point of contention. And he had, once upon a time. Not so much since then, though. âDo you always implicate yourself in illegal activities?â
âPlan B it is.â Andy replied, visually checking it off a list in the air. He smiled as Sam moved a bit closer, âIf you want, I could lock the door?â It was an offer, but he wasnât sure how itâd be received. A lot of people thought they wanted the security of a locked door, until they ran into the reverse fact that they were locked in somewhere, even if they had the ability to get out.
âAnd yes, because before too much longer here, theyâre going to make living illegal, and then the only people worth knowing will be the outlaws.â He pondered that a moment, âActually, that might already be true.â
âAh, well, Iâm sorry. I should know better than to judge a book by it cover.â He leaned over and pulled out a yo-yo from a drawer of his desk, as he was the type of person who needed something to keep his hands busy, or theyâd go right to his mouth and heâd start worrying with his nails. Oral fixation. He still wasnât sure if he thought that was bunk or not yet.
Throwing out the yo-yo a few times, he fell into a rhythm that worked for him, worked for the things heâd start talking about here.
âSo, tell you about myself eh? Do you want to get the whole life story, the highlights, the reasons why I can understand where so many of you are coming from, or should I just tell you about my twin brother who killed my foster parents? Iâve got all sorts of fun topics to talk about. Or! I could just spend this entire time talking about drugs and other illegal activities, theyâre generally the most fun.â
Huh.
With a tentative nod, Sam watched the door and rubbed over his inner elbow, as though the response mightâve inspired a second siege. But, no, he was mostly confident Lucifer submittedâ for now. Probably condemned to murmuring and griping for the next however-long as if he wasnât responsible for rupturing Samâs soul. The fact that he could pretend heâ No, thinking about it even more wasnât, in fact, why heâd âducked intoâ this room.
One thing was certain: Heâd be exploring a solid range of expression this session. Sam followed the news enough to have a general idea of the worldâs condition, but, really, there was too much shit going on to care about politics. The division of powers and rights. It just⊠didnât seem as relevant when there were monsters and even darker things out there.
âYeah,â a lame agreement, mouth pulling down at the edges to imply some comprehension. But his eyes dipped too quickly for it to be authentic. U-uh⊠His attention lifted at that becauseâ what? Sam stared blatantly, brows high against his forehead. âSo⊠youâre a twin.â Picked as though it stood out most. âOkay⊠no, I got nothing. Are you being serious? â I mean, not just the twin thing.â
Because, whoa, he didnât realize they were on such good terms already. It seemed too⊠well, personal.
Andy threw out the yo-yo and moved his hands in a complicated series of motions, until the spinning toy was a pendulum in his hands, swaying back and forth in time with some silent music. He looked at Sam, holding the yo-yo in front of his face so that it wove in and out of his vision. âYeah, perfectly serious. Iâve got nothing to hide, and Iâm more of an open book than most people, really. You,â Another agile motion and the yo-yo was back to its regular orbit, out and in and out and in, âare a closed book.â
âFor whatever reason, things happened in your life, and you closed off to people, to life. Itâs pretty obvious from your stance, how you hold yourself, little cues like that. Which is why, yes, Iâm serious.â The yo-yo hit home with a soft smack, his fingers gripping it tight for a moment. âIf I can establish any trust with you by telling you about myself, and hopefully set you a little at ease, then itâs worth it.â
âBesides, Iâve lost everyone and everything that I loved, Sam; so I make my life have meaning by helping others. Yeah? The cannabis helps, sure, but thatâs a little besides the point. We all find meaning in our lives, something to live for. I just happened to find that I could do some good talking to people. So Iâll ask you again, what would you like me to talk about?â Andy asked, his smile a little more somber, his pain showing in his eyes, not for his own life but for whatever had hurt this poor man so much.
The movement snagged his attention, reminiscent of schoolyard antics, transient and faceless, but he distinctly remembered the one-upmanship. Dean always cursed the things. The swaying breached the foreground and he leaned only slightly back, gaze flitting to the doctor when he spoke andâmade a pretty quick accusation. Well, it wasnât wrong or anything, but he didnât see where it could have come from. Until Andy answered that confusion without prompt. Samâs shoulders adjusted (itching to soften his position, but that was admission) and his mouth pressed together, hand sliding from his elbow to smooth the skin of his knuckles. Okay, maybe he was a little more obvious since the start of this case.
Suddenly, Sam remembered why he didnât like shrinks. That sentiment softened, though, at theâcandid confessions. Was this being an open book? This wasnât normal. Or maybe it was, with the way hunters â basically everyone he knew â needed and demanded so much privacy, they sometimes forgot who they were. His brother, dad, Bobby even, and the rest of the faces who were just faces⊠until they popped back up here, ha. His life was so strange. Something about Andyâs words made him feel somehow wrong to know he wouldnât be cooperating with a doctor so earnest in his desire to help and listen. Yet, here he was just to get some peace and quiet.
â⊠Iâm sorry,â came out dripping in Samâs trademark empathy. If nothing else, they both understood the loss of loved ones â and by⊠unusual means, too. His nail picked at a speck of roughness on one knuckle. âAbout your family. Losing them, itâs tough. Harder when your⊠familyâs the reason, I guess.â
He wondered how Dean felt about that, sometimes. Or he did. Maybe everyone would be brought back, here.
âWhy did your twinâŠ?â Open book or not, it felt invasive and so it died on his lips. âWere you two close?â
Andy waved off the sentiment, eyes closed as he made little of his own pain. âIt is what it is.â And wasnât that the truth? There was nothing he could do to change the past, it simply was what it was. âNo, we werenât. I didnât know he existed until the day he came and killed them, but he knew about me. You see, my brother, Ansem, had been raised in some real, real bad homes. Well, I guess we both were, but he seemed to have the worst of it.â
The yo-yo started in and out again, giving him something to focus on as he told his tale. âHe found out that I existed when he was young, still in the orphanages. Donât ask me how. But he became, obsessed⊠with the idea that we had been separated at birth, and that that fact was very, very wrong. I gathered that he spent years, trying to track me down through the system, through each and every one of the homes I was placed into. I donât know how many of them he killed, but the arresting officer said heâd confessed to murders, a lot of them.â
âAnd then,â he threw out the yo-yo and shook his head, âthen he found me, and my latest family, the Gallaghers. He killed them, found me, told me that we were destined to be together, to fight as one. Well, he said a lot of things, but⊠I was somehow able to talk him down, got him to turn himself in to the police, seek help. I visit him whenever I can, and I just have to hold out hope that some day heâll be able to get past whatever was done to him to create this fixation.â
âSo, I canât help my brother, no matter how much I want to. I have to wait and pray. So maybe you can see why I want to help others, yeah?â The yo-yo traveled in and out again and again, Andyâs gaze finally dropped from it back to Sam. âSo thatâs a quick overview of my twin brother.â He caught the yo-yo one last time and stood up, walking around to the back of his desk, placing it back into one of the drawers.
Andyâs blatant show of emotional health was utterly foreign (evermore bizarre as the conversation revealed his demons). This was, to say the least, the last thing heâd expected when he found an opening and practically fell into the office. Sam liked to think he was once emotionally well-adjusted; heâd tried, almost succeeded, but there were always going to be secrets and they were lethal type. There was no choice, but to close off. If he lingered on it, heâd be anger, unreasonably angry, so he didnât.
â⊠Yeah, I get it. Thatâs⊠a powerful reason to get involved in this kind of work, ha, wowâŠâ Sam shook his head slightly as if to shake away that â feeling. It felt heavy. As much as they fight, as little faith as Dean has in him, as hesitant as Sam may be to address Dean honestly, they still had something. It wasnât necessarily unbreakable anymore, but he could say they had eachother. âYou visit him. Then, youâre⊠closer, now?â
Sam tensed at the first jingle and glanced over shoulder sharply, lips parting and then shutting again. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Even if it was something, it would be nothing. He rubbed over his knuckles in a distracted fashion. Refocusing. Settled comfortably, he took a breath and peered over the desk softly.
âHave you forgiven him?â
âYeah, I guess it is.â Andy shrugged, his nonchalance only slightly more affected than it was before. âBut we all either have something we live for, or something we die for. Ansem, he had something he would die for. I have something to live for. The difference being that itâs a whole hell of a lot easier to have a cause youâre willing to die for, than to have a cause that you have to live for each day.â
âCloser than being absolute strangers related by blood? I guess⊠but itâs hard, because he is still dangerously possessive, protective of me. So any time I go to visit him, I have to request that no one else is anywhere near us when I visit. Learned that one the hard way.â He chuckled, but it was a shadow of the sound it should be. âHe killed one of the guards who escorted me in, because he touched my shoulder to tell me where to go in. Again, didnât find out about it until they called me up at three in the morning several days later. So yeah, weâre real close⊠him more so than me, I guess. But I try. Because it isnât him, he just was alone for so long, and I was what he had to hope for.â
âAnd I wish I could say that I donât blame him, that he doesnât know better, but he does. So, thatâs⊠thatâs part of what Iâm working on, everyday. Because wounds donât heal over night, and time doesnât heal all sorrows. Ya know? So we just our lives accumulating scars, trying to make the differences that will matter.â
The way he spoke aged him beyond that scrawny first impression. Maybe heâd judged too harshly. His words were fluid and without hitch and the content wasnât anything new, really, but the way the thoughts actually followed through⊠changed the meaning. Youâd think the thing youâd die for, got to hell for, would be the most precious, proof of the greatest love, but⊠maybe they had it wrong. Maybe there were worse things than hell.
â⊠Youâre right.â
As though he were being convinced in the first place, he nodded his understanding and turned his hand over to rub the palms lightly. The situations were different, though. Ansem, this twin â he was active, still is, but⊠maybe thatâs not very different, given the circumstances of his past. Max crossed his mind in that moment and he sucked his lower lip in briefly, releasing it with a sigh.
âThings like that⊠I donât know how they can ever heal.â Sam swallowed. âI said it already and you didnât really know him, but Iâm sorry about that. I wouldnât know what to do without my brother.â Quite literally. Last time heâd tried, it wasnât remarkably successful.
âYouâd be surprised what wounds heal, or at least scar up so you donât have to deal with the raw pain of it every day.â And that was almost all Andy saw as he looked at Sam, just a thin veneer over, perhaps, decades of pain. He didnât know what had happened to the poor man, but he knew that whatever it was, it had changed him greatly.
âAfter all, I wasnât always this fine example of a well functioning adult. I know, shocking right?â And there was his humor again, his natural armor that he tried so hard not to build walls with. It was a dangerous business, building walls to protect yourself, because enough outside pressure could cause them to crumble inwards, until you were crushed by your own defenses; an endless cycle of people expecting certain actions from you until you are the hollow shell left with only others expectations inside you. He couldnât help but wonder what Samâs armor was, because from here, the man might be broken, but he was far from defenseless.
âBut yeah, thanks. Empathy is a good sign, you know. It means that, for better or worse, youâre still a big enough idiot that you havenât given up on the human race, on people.â He nodded absently, âAnd now to tell you the big secret that I probably shouldnât. When youâve got a big heart, and care for people the most, it means youâll be the one to be hurt the worst. But the good news is that youâll have a lifetime of memories of each and every person who you were there for, who you helped. And thatis how I make it through my bad days.â
Surprised wasnât the word, really. Dean tried so hard to shield him from everything, but it somehow⊠backfired, in the silence, the lies, the frightening things he saw and couldnât explain; things they refused to explain. The secrets about mom. Everything that eventually hit him where he couldnât make sense of it without tearing fingernails and boiling in rage. There was an unintentional condescension in his brother from the moment he could talk to even now, and that was changing slowly. Not for the better, he feared.
For all the anguish between the office walls, he cracked a small smile and gave a nod, grateful for any levity. Levity was familiar.
âItâs unnatural how well you function,â he acknowledged in way that should probably be insulting, but the smile hadnât passed. Caring meant idiocy, huh. that sounded about right. Helping people, though, was ingrained in them by now; something that usually failed in the long run, but that was the life. âMaybe I should have kept smoking.â
The smile dropped somewhat as he intertwined his fingers and cracked the knuckles idly. âCan I ask a question?â
âIâve had practice, but yeah, smoking really does help. And trust me, you wouldnât want to see me right after I come back from visiting Ansem. Iâm a mess every time.â Andy shrugged, a little smirk playing about his lips.
To say that he was overjoyed to see that smile would be an understatement, as it meant so very much. It showed that Sam might actually be listening to his words, being effected, even if only barely. He had always believed he was capable of helping people, but there wasnât much you could do with someone who didnât want to be helped. So that smile, well, he just hoped it was as good an omen as he thought it might be.
And then it was gone, but he understood its passing. Levity and smiles were right for certain situations, but not all. So he nodded, leaning his hip against his desk again and spread his arms wide, âAsk away.â
A puff might just annihilate him between the hallucinations, mom and Lucifer, so that would go untested. Samâs smile lit more apologetic that this time, deciding against pursuing that and breaking the momentary pleasantness. It didnât seem like the topic really bothered Andy, at least, but it was clear from the startâthis wasnât about idle conversation. Not that this conversation was in any way inane; in fact, heâd hardly spent ten minutes hiding away and the guy revealed his evil twin killed his mother and father. Even now, he was about to unload a pretty heavy question.
âOkay⊠First, I know how this works,â he established as though they were conducting some manner of business deal. It was a little ridiculous, but he generally didnât enjoy the artificial gleam of psychiatristsâ words, pulled straight from the textbook and some summer internship. âYou have a goal in mind, right, but I donât need to hear any particular answer. I justâŠâ Faltering, he rubbed his palm over his wrist, further, and crossed his arms loosely. âWant an honest answer. It doesnât matter what it is.â
That said, he took to observing some spot beyond the desk.
âDo you think redemption is always possible? No exceptions, no generalizing, no sugar-coating.â Sam did spare a short-lived glance, then. âLike, no matter what someoneâs done?â
Andy shuffled a little as Sam built up to his question, nervous energy making him shift his weight and reposition his hip against the table. The waiting was terrible, even with how short it was, for his mind went ever direction, preemptively seeing all sorts of horrendous questions that Sam might ask. Although what he eventually did get out his mouth wasnât quite what Andy had been expecting, but he knew the question far too well. And it was a painful thing to ask.
A small, broken smile spread on his face. âWell, I can certainly appreciate your directness. And please, donât think of my answer as a cop out or anything.â He scooted a little further onto the desk and pulled his legs up under him, cross-legged so that he could lean forward and rest his forearms on his knees, fingers laced together as his thumbs twiddled. âRedemption isnât my job, hell, it isnât even my department. Now hear me out here.â He added the last bit, holding out a hand to hopefully keep the start of his answer from distressing Sam.
âWhat my job is, well, itâs like being a guide through some pretty dangerous mountain passes. I can give you the supplies and lead you through, but I canât actually make the trip for you. If thereâs a problem in your life, I canât go in with my tools and tinker around in your heart and your head to change how you think or cope or believe, yeah? So I can really only help people who want to be helped. Sometimes thatâs right away, sometimes itâs not for years and years, and sometimes, it will never happen.â
âI wish I could, though. Canât tell you how much I could just take peopleâs pasts and show them that it just that, the past, and give them a better future.â He shrugged, and it was almost a defeated gesture. âYou have no idea how much so. But outside of what I can do. I have to believe redemption is possible. I⊠I canât give up that hope, canât live in a world where you canât be forgiven your sins, as cliche as that might sound. Ansem is a reason for that, but myself too. Iâve done some pretty terrible things myself, and I need that hope.â
Locking gaze with Sam, he smiled a little, feeling so insufficient in that moment, because he was only human, was so limited in what he could do or say or help with. âSo personally, I donât, I canât believe in an unpardonable sin. And because of that, I donât give up on people, maybe thatâs too much naivety on my part, but it is what it is, man. So, not sure if thatâs what youâre hoping for, but itâs what I can give you.â
This wasnât exactly⊠a fair question to ask someone outside the scope of what had happened, what might happen in the future; he knew that. He knew, but it wasnât something he could ask Dean. Depending on his brotherâs mood, Dean would dodge the question or answer in a vague, distinctly bitter fashion. Maybe, that should have been all the answer he needed. After Dean, who else was there? Recently, he favored the company of an angel and spirit most, but somehow one week seemed too soon for such deep conversation.
 Not a good excuse, considering how long it had been since heâd known Andy as a bumbling, newly-grad shrink⊠Sam wasnât actually sure what happened. He intended relax, throw out some pleasant recollections of his stay thus far and mention his improved sleep schedule. Somewhere, he slipped off-track.
Maybe, there was some part of him that wanted the answer Dean often alluded in blunt terms. Or maybe he was being too hard on himself because Dean believed it, he didnât know, and it was frustrating. On one hand, he wanted to be forgiven, to get another chance, to see something gentler in Deanâs eyes when Sam happened to be involved in a he-said, she-said moment. But⊠it seemed no matter how hard he tried, there was something about him, in him, be it the demon blood or whatever made him so damn angry, that just⊠wasnât meant to do the things he wanted to do.
It⊠didnât even need to be him. It didnât need to be another screw-up with the innumerable attachments he seemed to have to anything dark-side. With Lucifer back, did that mean it was happening all over again? Why was he the only one hallucinating? Why?
â⊠ It is⊠counterproductive to think itâs impossible,â he agreed in a minutely changed tone, gaze dropping off somewhere, and he itched at his arm. âNaivety can be good, you know. No, I donât know what I wanted, itâs fine; I feel the same way. Itâs just hard. Thank you for answering. That wasnât really fair of me. Mm.â Sam cleared his throat, and did what he always did. âBy the way, do you know Nurse Burkley? I havenât seen her around lately.â
âSam⊠Itâs fineâŠâ Andy started, but what could he say? It wasnât in his profession to hand out pardons, but he had to try, because he sense the wealth of sadness in the man and he knew how crushing it could be. âI donât exactly have context here, but if youâre asking for yourself, I really do think itâs possible. Other people might not see it at first, but youâre obviously trying as hard as you possibly can to hold it all together. And I donât know what happened to you or what youâve done, but trust me, you arenât a lost cause.â
âIâve seen them before, the ones who will never change, the habituals who get out and come back every time, or the ones who just never try at all. Iâve known you for a grand total of,â and here he looked at the clock on his wall, âtwenty minutes, but I can already see that you want to change. It doesnât happen all at once, and people wonât see it right away, but whatever it is that youâre struggling with, I honestly believe youâll be able to change it for the better⊠So yeah⊠Sorry if thatâs overstepping my bounds right now, I justâŠâ
Sam just looked like he needed someone to believe in him.
But maybe he was wrong and it was something done to Sam and the man couldnât bring himself to forgive someone. He just didnât know enough about Sam yet to comfortably guess yet.
So he offered a smile and accepted the change in topic. âNo, I donât know her. I just got here today, and my interview was held out of state, so I only vaguely know thereâs a Mary Winchester as another psychiatrist here.â He hadnât heard Samâs last name, so he didnât know to make the connection.
Twenty minutes. This had happened in twenty minutes, which was either a testament to Andyâs professional expertise or Samâs rapidly deteriorating defenses, and he wouldnât be too quick to bet on either. The hallucinations weakened when he had a good nightâs sleep at first, but, even with Frederickâs cookies, itâs as though⊠they adapted. Slow, but inevitable. Only disorganized napping threw them off enough that he could function. Sometimes, he saw things, heard chain-rattling; it made him anxious and twitchy, but if that was all, heâd manage.
As for the compassion radiating off Andy, Sam wasnât sure how to react. The guy was going on normal â what normally should inspire such self-doubt and distaste â when Sam knew starting the apocalypse wasnât normal. Neither was drinking blood, letting people die or murdering the defenseless. But⊠if it was possible for Andyâs brother, maybe it was close enough that he could trust that.
âHa,â he released an out-of-place huff of amusement, running a hand through his hair. ââHold it togetherâ⊠Do I look that bad?â After swallowing that lump in his throat, Sam inhaled deeply, released, and smiled, rubbing his temple absently. âNo, I wouldnât say anything if I thought you might. Itâs alright. I just hope youâre right⊠You know, this isnât what I expected.â
Ah, damn. Of course heâd invade the shrink having his first day. He paused at his motherâs name; oh, right, Andy wasnât expecting him. Sam sat somewhat straighter, though there was something lingering that heâd let fade naturally.
âOut of state? Where from?â
Andy shook his head contemplatively, âWell, youâre not exactly a spring daisy right now, no offense. And while I wouldnât say your crazy is showing or anything like that, you simply have a strain, a weight about you that shows that youâre fighting your way through a lot right now. But like I said, Iâve been trained to look for these sorts of signs, so it wouldnât be as obvious to other people. And⊠Iâve seen the look in the mirror more times than Iâd like to admit.â
âI worked over in Pennsylvania, interned at a mental hospital over there for two years, and then another year interning at an asylum for the criminally insane, so⊠Yeah. Taught me a lot more than the books ever did, and helped me understand Ansem quite a bit. Moved out here because I saw a need that wasnât being filled, and uh, I know this will sound⊠heh, crazy, but a gal I knew called me up and said sheâd seen that I needed to come here, that I would do good here. So here I am, cannabis, van, and all.â
As he watched Samâs reactions, he contemplated how ethical it would be to use his Voice on him, try to help the poor man relax; but as always, Traceyâs look of sheer terror stopped him from using it. Heâd ruined enough lives with his âgiftâ that he didnât want to chance it now.
Samâs brows did a fancy number and he consciously sniffed. His mouth pulled to one side and he absently rubbed his jaw, feeling the faint scrape of stubble; nothing more than a shadow, he imagined, but it probably didnât look intentional. Watching giant slug radula grate flesh angels was distracting. While the news of Andyâs perceptiveness was something of a comfort (and predictable), it probably didnât mean anything to those who knew him well enough. Those, being Dean Winchester and, as loathe as he is to admit, Lucifer.
Hiding it would be pointless, but bad habits are hard to break; impossible for Winchesters.
The gaping open book thing still caught him off-guard. How did he do that? Well⊠no, heâd done it once upon a time, but never quite so⊠casually. He didnât even appear put down by his own acknowledgment. Before he could form a comment, Andy listed his work history and waited for the crazy part; already, he expected it to be pretty crazy coming from someone like this (no offense, Andy). Not that crazy, though. Except for the moving from Pennsylvania to Kansas on a whim phonecall, but it happened sometimes.
âItâs not that crazy. I feel pretty calm, if it means anything. Thatâs good.â
âWell, sheâs the real deal man. Psychic, I mean. If she has a vision, itâs happening, no matter what you do to stop it, so if she said I go here and do good, then thatâs damn well what Iâm gonna do.â Andy smirked, a reckless abandon to his eyes that made them dance. âI mean, her gift isnât quite as cool as mine, but, whoâs comparing.â And then he realized what heâd said, and oh-so-casually didnât worry about it. Most like Sam wouldnât notice, right?
It wasnât that he didnât want to tell people that part of himself, it was just that every time he did, people had either disbelieved him, which was fine, or theyâd gotten scared, terrified. People were cruel creatures, vilifying anything they didnât understand; thinking that ability to use power equated intent to abuse power, which simply wasnât true.
âAre you normally not calm?â Sam looked like the type of guy who took things in stride, so it was something of a surprise to hear him say that. âWell, Iâm glad that youâre doinâ alright right now.â He was careful not to press for any more information than that, as he could tell Sam would open up when and if he wanted to, and likely not a second before. If he had to earn the manâs trust, that was fine. The challenge was part of the thrill to his work.
W-waitâ
Instantly, he snapped out of conversationalist and local of Lawrence Asylum, and back into hunter Sam Winchester. A psychic told him to come here? Why? Did sheâShe probably leaned on the same vague phrasing Andy echoed, now, which meant he needed to contact her somehow. If she had directed someone here, there clearly was some pressing hint, a clue, whether or not it was the entire picture. Samâs lips parted to interrupt with his question when⊠His lips closed again, stare blatant.
Gift? Was he talking about⊠this? His ability to âdo goodâ, or was it something else? Maybe everyone in this hospital had been herded in like sheep for some totality of purpose. The question elicited a slightly baffled blink and then he leaned forward as though conspiring.
âNormally, I am, but not recently,â he answered, making quick work of it. âAndy, what gift were you talking about? And when the psychic told you to come here, did she give you any other information? Like, what kind of good?â
âWell, that sucks. Being anxious drains you on a good day, and will completely eat through your nerves over long periods. And donât get me started on what it does to your adrenal glands and your hypothalamus.â Andy replied, his mind quickly running through all the side affects that a ranging severity of anxiety, paranoia, and hypersensitivity could wreak on a body. But he was brought back by Samâs question. See, he knew he was a smart guy, picked right up on that.
Which only kind of sucked. âWell, just promise you wonât freak or anything on me. I can, sort of, jedi mind trick people? The best terms for it that Iâve come up with is either Persuasion or Mind Control. Iâve been tryinâ to figure out how it works for the past year, but no luck yet. I think it must be some resonance in my voice when I make a command that, I donât know, maybe hits right into the reptilian portion of the human mind and voila! They do what I want.â He smiled a little nervously and hoped he didnât sound as dangerous to Sam as he had to one of his own psychiatrists. âAnd I can kind of project images into peopleâs mindsâŠâ He added as an after thought.
âWhat, Missouri? Um, not really, she just said that I was needed here and that Iâd do a whole lot of good. Why?â
Uh, that face?
Thatâs Samâs âHuhâ face; a gentler version of full-grown disbelief, though he might have employed the matured version under any other circumstance. People were coming back from the dead, angel becoming humans, Lucifer rising again and the rest of it, too.The sum was definitely stranger than its parts, so he⊠had to give Andy a chance.
Maybe, he just meant⊠it was⊠No, there really wasnât any other way to interpret that, actually. Heâd know with the number of times Dean forced him to watch the entire Star Wars set, back to back, his brother pointing the same things out each time. â Missouri. Samâs gaze dropped, shifting back and forth as he contemplated the likelihood, and, being where they are, psychic, the strange events pointing towards a positive reading â it had to be her.
âMissouri Mosely? â Okay,â he cut himself off, brows lifting and mouth pulling down slightly, nodding into his acceptance of the claim. There had to be something to this. âOkay. Uhm. So, youâd be able to tell me to do something? And Iâd just⊠do it? Is that what you mean?â
Andy watched the thoughts pass behind Samâs eyes, not so much worried that Sam would go and tell someone as the possibility that heâd decide this wasnât something he wanted in his life and heâd never come back. One, that would make his job as a psychiatrist a bit more tricky, and two, which was the more important reason, he rather wanted Sam to feel safe here, and telling people you could effectively control their actions⊠yeah, not so much.
âYeah, thatâs her. You know âer?â
âUhhh, yeah, basically. Although it doesnât work on everyone, didnât work on Ansem. But that might just have been because he has it too. I generally try not to use it all that much. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. And well, I lost some people to it, real dear friends, apparently power like this, it uh, makes you seem like a monster to most people. I could have told them to continue to be my friends but, that would have just proven their fears to be true. Ya know?â
âYeah, old friends.â
Sam gave a dismissive nod, clearly less vested in fair exchange and more in understanding. This was too important. Why didnât Missouri contact them? Orâ did she even know the boys were here? Was it only about Andy? She sent him deliberately, so this scrawny, naive man must be pretty crucial to taking care ofâ whatever this was. If he really had the power to⊠jedi-mind-trick people⊠well, what did that mean?
It would be a powerful weapon, maybe, but that seemed so⊠small in scale.
âThatâs a good policy. In fact, donât tell anyone else what you can do.â He glanced to the desk and reached out to swipe the stapler. âIâm sorry. I definitely know how being different can be painful, sometimes. The looks people give youââ Sam didnât want to be insensitive, but, unfortunately, right now he was breezing through that commentary.
âItâs very familiar to me, and I donât mind discussing it, but would you showing me first? I wonât be afraid, swear.â He held up the stapler and then set it back into his lap, watching curiously. âGet the stapler back.â
Andy had never liked the feeling of people being freaked out by his powers, but heâd also never been a huge fan of being asked to dance like a performing monkey. Although he certainly understood that reaction too, his claim was rather fantastical, and most reasonably sane people wouldnât take such a statement at face value without proof. âAlright.â
Focusing for a moment, he opened his mouth to speak, a strange reverberation to it thrumming with power, âGive me the stapler.â
Nothing happened.
So he said it again, using his mind as well this time, but again, nothing happened. Huh, maybe Sam was one of the folks who werenât affected by it, just like Ansem and himself. And then a thought struck him and he spoke it before heâd completely processed it.
âYou wouldnât happen to know about a yellow eyed demon, would you?â
Sam waited.
Nothing happened.
A flurry of birds chirped outside and he glanced to the window passingly, down to the stapler, back to Andy. It wasnât working. Or heâd been duped. Was this a reality check? Had Dean mentioned Missouri and unknowingly passed it around to this moment to confirm his crazy? Not really like Dean⊠but there were many hunters here. Well, it wasnât like heâd be escaping anytime soon whether or not they shoved him through the exit.
â⊠I⊠yeah,â he tentatively answered, yet again caught off-guard. Andy had to be the most difficult guy to predict, and it didnât help that he was now tied into the supernatural realm too. Maybe, it was just natural with how quickly heâd opened up. Had⊠heâŠ? No, he couldnât have forced Sam to speak and then failed to retrieve the stapler, right? And he hadnât really said much.
Finally, Sam frowned subtly, hand tight around the stapler, bad memories stirred. âAzazel. I knew him.â A momentâs thought, and his lips parted slightlyâ adopted. Of course. But he just furrowed his brows, watching carefully. âHow did you know him?â
Andy blinked a few times and nodded, clearly a little shell shocked, âI was right then. I mean, I thought maybe I couldnât affect Ansem because we both had the same power, but⊠And he has a name? Wow, you know more about this than I do then. But Sam, I think the reason it doesnât affect you is because⊠we both have his blood flowing through our veins.â It was something that Ansem had originally talked about, how theyâd been given this incredible gift by the man with the yellow eyes.
âI donât remember anything about it, but Ansem told me about the dreams that the yellow eyed man gave him, and with a little hunting around, I figured out the man was a real powerful demon. So I backed the hell away from it and just tried to keep my head down.â His hands gesticulated as he talked, emphasizing his words. âUm, so yeah.â
Thenâ they, Andy and Ansem, were like him, like Max, special children⊠even⊠though⊠the rest had supposedly died; was he⊠also resurrected? Samâs expression shifted, now examining the man and the information exchanged for any sign of inconsistency, a lapse. Did he simply⊠not realize he died? Or⊠had they missed him? Was that even possible? Sam glanced to the door, tempted and then knowing better. In fact, did that mean this man, too, was a suitable vessel?
Ruby would know. Should know. She could claim blamelessness now, but they knew for a fact sheâd been a key player back then; sheâd have to know something. But, even if he was, the Devil couldnât exactly do anything here. Hell, a plain door was holding him back.
âYeah, donât tell anyone about this. Do you understand, Andy?â He finally made eye contact and sat straight, not reacting in the least to the old news. âDonât say why you came here. No visions, no Ansem and no Missouri. There was just an opening, like any other. Just trust me on this.â
He worried his bottom lip.
âYouâre right, Andy. Weâre the same, but⊠itâs a little complicated.â He glanced apologetically. âIâd, uh, like to see confirmation before I say anything else.â
Andy could understand Samâs warnings against talking about his powers, although for most people, if they started freaking out Andy generally just made them forget heâd said anything. It had saved his life more often than he cared to admit, because there was no way he was letting people take him in and experiment on him or some crap like that. âYeah, gotcha.â
âConfirmation? Like what?â If his powers didnât work on Sam, and Sam didnât want him making any of this known to others, how could he possibly confirm it? Although he could maybe sign for Sam to make a trip out into town, and show him out there? Or subtly influence someone in here?
Sam set the stapler on the desk and frowned in the memory of cooing chatter just before heâd slammed the office door. Somehow, he doubted jedi mind tricks worked on Satan; maybe not even angels. If he could get Dean here, it would be perfect. Orâ no, first, heâd lead Lucifer away and⊠yes, that could work. Samâs troubled expression cleared and he pulled his chair closer, elbows planting on the desk.
âMy brother, Dean Winchesterâ heâs also a patient staying in room seven, though Iâm not sure heâs there right now. When I leave, you find him. He knows about this stuff, too, but, uh, he might not trust you at first. Heâll come around when you show him what you can do,â Sam explained in a softened tone, as though Lucifer had his ear cupped to the door. âHeâll let me know later if it worked.â
Wow, put in an asylum with his brother⊠That was almost eerie in the similarity to himself. Of course, Andy hadnât been admitted with Ansem, but if anyone found out about his powers, heâd be treated the same way, gagged and set off in the isolation ward, so far away from other people that you can only send images, couldnât control people.
And that thought sent a chill down his spine, because heâd always assumed that they could hold Ansem in there, but what if they couldnât? What if he stayed there because heâd been told to hang out there for a while? Well, damn, heâd need to visit Ansem before to long to make sure he didnât get restless and try to find him or anything.
âThatâs pretty neat that youâre both in here together.â Because not everyone had psycho brothers who would kill anyone who came between them. âDean, got it. I can definitely do that. Anything in particular that youâd like me to make him do?â
âNeatâs one word for it,â Sam granted, steeling his mind and pressing his palms down. Alright. Like that, he was standing, strangely shaken of his, well, shakes, and renewed with a sense of direction. They needed to contact Missouri as soon as possible. If nothing else, theyâd get confirmation of Andyâs identity and some sort of background on how she knew the guyâ and why werenât they told? That was odd enough. Was she⊠being watched? That stunk of angels.
âUhm,â he lamely supplied, the idea of it surreal and pulling him from his pondering. Making Dean do something? Well, itâd be great if he could change his eating habits, but one meal wouldnât fix that. Sam shook his head,â No, it doesnât matter what it is. Just, something simple works.â
âI just mean that youâre not in here alone⊠that seems like itâs a blessing.â Andy replied, giving Sam a small smile. It was hard not to keep thinking about Ansem with all of these parallels. He also remembered the short stint when heâd been put into an asylum, where heâd constantly had to question his own reality. Heâd been so alone in there. At least Sam had Dean, and while he didnât know if they were terribly close or not, he could imagine that that still had to be an amazing reassurance.
âOk, well, Iâm sure Iâll think of something.â
Watching as Sam stood up, he then rose himself, extending a hand. âWell, you look about ready to go, so I just wanna say itâs been real. Feel free to come back whenever, Sam.â Andy said, his smile widening a little further. He really would like it if Sam wanted to come back, either to have an actual session or just to talk, because he could tell that they might just become something like friends. And wouldnât that be nice?
The quick thought slowed as he recognized Andyâs implication, empathy winning over the investigation briefly enough that he could appreciate the sentiment and nod gratefully. âLike I said, I donât know what Iâd do without my brother,â he smiled into the words, even though he spent half his energy protecting his brother from whatever was going on with him. It was tiring maybe, but⊠yeah, he wouldnât want to be here alone. Certainly not alone with Lucifer again.
âIâll be back,â he assured, whether or not Dean found the whole jedi thing to be a hoax. Now, work would come first, but, when they had nothing to really go on, his mind had crowded with questions that had nowhere to go. At least a couple felt⊠somewhat resolved; if nothing else, he released frustration and self doubt. It wasnât the time to be feeling those things.
If it wasnât a hoax, that complicated things. He wasnât sure itâd be good to mix, uh, those feelings with work when he compartmentalized them for a reason. Heâd see later. This wasnât exactly planned either.
âThank you for, uh, listening,â Sam gave a weird smile that belayed the utter weirdness of the time as a whole. It wasnât everyday your shrink turned out to be a special child who might have become Luciferâs vessel in your stead. âDonât wait too long after I leave to see Dean, alright?â
Heâd⊠explain the Lucifer situation later, if necessary.
Andy waved off he thanks, âItâs nothing. I mean, itâs my job, so Iâd be a pretty sucky psychiatrist if I didnât.â Then he realized how that sound and he flailed a little, like a bird ruffling its feathers. âThatâs not to say that I listened to you only because it was my job. I really do want to be here for you. You seem like a great guy andâŠâ Slamming his mouth shut so fast that there was a click as his teeth came together, Andy grimaced and scratched at the back of his head.
Rule Number One. Remember that rule, Andy? That one that they all stressed a million times. The one that said a little something about untoward feels for your patients and never acting on them? Yeah⊠that one. He couldnât really help that heâs suddenly developed a crush on his patient, could he? Because heâd always been open to love in whatever form it took, but now he would have to absolutely deny it because of social conventions.
Sometimes⊠being a grown up with responsibilities really sucked.
Collecting himself, with a strong reminder to just ignore it for a few days in hopes that it would go away, he flashed his regular smile again. âSure thing. Iâll see if I canât find him sometime today. Not like I have anything actually on my schedule today.â
Samâs expression flashed friendly, wry amusement, seeing the wise and cool psychiatrist stumble over his words. Andy was still that open book, but in a more endearing and admittedly entertaining way. Really, this - the power-testing thing - was a formality. He just wouldnât skip it simply because he felt comfortable and fond of the man after being shrunk. Like dad, he knew better than to base everything on gut feeling and intuition; of course, that lesson came from multiple sources, some harder than others.
âYeah, Andy, I got it. Youâre really here for me,â he repeated with a softer smile, head tilting with a nod as though it were obvious in itself. With that, he pulled back, straightened the chair as though Andy even cared, and took a deep breath.
Hand on the doorknob, he glanced back and there was a heaviness to his tone again. âOkay, thanks.â With another puff, he left, consciously shutting the door in his wake.
Andy waved after Sam and then leaned back against his desk. Letting out a slow breath of air, he ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes, evaluating how that had just gone. Well, he hadnât scaredhis patientaway, so he wasnât completely screwed as apsychiatrist. Just keep reminding yourself of these little things, Andy, and youâll be fine. Just fine.
Right.
Damn, heâd need a few hits tonight once he was off. Which also reminded him that heâd need to visit Ansem before the week was out, for Ansemâs mental health and the safety of everyone in that facility. Oh, and heâd need to find that brother of Samâs, Dean.
Well, he had his work cut out for him.
Moving back around to his desk chair, he sat himself down and started writing up notes on his talk with Sam. There hadnât been much that Sam had said about himself, but Andy had gleaned quite a bit more information than heâd commented on, so he started writing in his oddly elegant scrawl, committing everything to the infallible memory of ink on paper.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
[[Note: This RP conversation is PRE-INVASION. Considered a Flashback]]
Megan Morse: -holding your hand softly as we walk through the empty park, wind blowing softly, stars shining brightly in the sky-
Conner Kent: -smiles widely and leans over, placing a soft kiss on your head, rewrapping your hand in mine- cold?
Megan Morse: -shifts closer to your body- Maybe a little... -stops, looking around at the grassy area we stand on- This looks like a good place.
Conner Kent: -stands back a bit and sits down, finally laying down with a small groan and looks up at you with a wide smile, patting the side besides me- Kryptonian's are walking heaters you know.
Megan Morse: -looks down at you with a soft smile, giggles at your words- I can't argue with that. -slowly lays down next to you, resting my head on your arm-
Conner Kent: -shifts to accommodate you and come closer to your side, wrapping my right arm and hand around your right shoulder- better?
Megan Morse: -snuggles into your chest- Yes. -silence falls over us as we gaze up at the stars just enjoying each other's company-
Conner Kent: -glances up at the sky with you but gradually keep glancing at your face, noticing after a while your brows crease and a sort of sad feeling cross your eyes- M'gann?
Megan Morse: -hands begin to tug at the grass anxiously as I stare at stars, realizing how different everything looks from the last time I stargazed on another world- Hmm? What is it?
Conner Kent: I should be asking you that - frowns in concern, raising my neck slightly and looking down at you - What's wrong? - my right hand rubs at the exposed skin of your arm in comfort-
Megan Morse: -I continue to tug at the grass below me- Nothing, I suppose. It's just...it's hitting me that I'm not on Mars. The stars are so different from there. I guess I never really thought about it until now...
Conner Kent: -shifts until I'm resting on my side, looking down at you frowning- You're...homesick?
Megan Morse: -stops playing with grass and cranes neck to look over and up at you, head now resting on the grass- Is that what it's called? -looks back up at the stars- I don't even know why I would miss that planet in the first place.
Conner Kent: -sighs and shifts more comfortably, hovering over you as if protecting you- It's..a term I heard being used when one misses what they call home.-grabs your hand not touching the grass- You haven't really talked about it...
Megan Morse: -sighs, shifting closer to you- Talk? -bitterly- What is there to talk about?
Conner Kent: -hesitates and looks forward, almost in shame- I'm sorry. I didn't mean...
Megan Morse: -realizes I snapped at you- No! No, Connor, I didn't mean... -sits up, still holding your hand in mine, thinking- It's just that, there isn't much to say. Being...what I am...I wasn't welcome.
Conner Kent: -looks back at you, concerned and looks down at our intertwined fingers, and nods slightly - I'm sorry I brought it up. -pauses then raises your fingers to kiss your knuckles, looking straight up into your eyes- I love what you are.
Megan Morse: -feels a blush to spread over my face- Connor... -looks back up at the sky- It's funny, I think I miss it because everyone knew what I was. I always knew where I stood and didn't have to hide it because I couldn't. -looks into your eyes-
But I can't ever think of going back, knowing that I have someone here that doesn't care about my species or my color. -leans in- I think I'm loving you more and more every day.
Conner Kent: -frowns in irritation at the beginning of your conversation to hear of your past but then my smile widens as you suddenly lean in and I mimic you, kissing you; lean back after a bit, letting my forehead rest on yours- I'm sorry you had to go through with that
-gently rubs my forehead on yours, warming you up-
Megan Morse: -smiles- It doesn't matter, that is in the past. Now, I am here with you. And that's all that matters.
Conner Kent: -nods then smiles- All that matters. -leans in- You're my home now.
Megan Morse: -heart flutters- And you are mine.
Conner Kent: -kisses you, slightly pushing back till you're back on the grass; after a moment, I pull back- cold still?
Megan Morse: -smile widens, looking up at you, noting that a shooting star just passed behind you- Not anymore.
Conner Kent: -sees you looking over my shoulder and spares the sky a glance- ...a shooting star. -looks back at you- make a wish?
Megan Morse: -laughs- Who needs a shooting star? I have all I could ever ask for right here. -steals a quick kiss-
Conner Kent: -blushes but kisses back, placing my hand behind your neck to support you; regrettably pulls back, but hovers near your lips- And you're all I could ever ask for. All I need is you.
 Megan Morse: -smiles and kisses you back, stars twinkling above us, sets up mental link instinctively:
~ t ~ You are everything to me, Conner. I hope you know that. You will have my heart. Always~
Ever wanted to read the entire huge gigantic date in one post? Tired of looking through dozens of older posts to find the part you want to read? Well, look no further! Just click the cut! If you order this log now, you can also have a copy of Karkat: Confess Your Feelings absolutely free! (I feel like a used car salesman :I )
John: go on a âdateâ
It wasnât as if this was a real date or anything. Being paid by Vriska into taking somebody out didnât feel like it really counted, somehow. But hey, he was essentially just getting $50 to hang out with somebody who was quickly becoming a close friend. And if they had to throw in some fake date-ish-y things to appease Vriska, who cared? John was secure in his sexuality, and as far as he was concerned this was just a totally platonic bro-date. Itâd probably be fun! Besides, he was getting money for it.Â
With that in mind, he knocked on the door of the neighboring dorm room. It wasnât like heâd got dressed up for this or anything. He was just wearing jeans, his totally rad transformers shirt, and a hoodie. Even Vriska had said getting dressed up was for chumps!
Speaking of Vriska, he seriously had no idea what her deal was. She was obviously completely awesome and he liked her a hell of a lot, but she was wrong about so many things. D&D being good, pizza being best plain, fighting being no big deal, and most importantly, John being gay. Why was she so totally convinced of his homosexuality? Who knew! maybe it was the whole Matthew McConaughey thing? Whatever, there were bound to be a couple of exceptions to every rule. That didnât mean Karkat was one of them.Â
Shit, he hoped Dave wasnât in the dorm, too. That would be so excruciating, and heâd never hear the end of it.Â
KARKAT: ANSWER THE DOOR
Karkat had spent the last couple of hours fretting over the littlest things. This was a fake date, right? was he supposed to gift him with anything? Did he need anything special? What should he wear? How could he still even be considering going through with this after last nightâs events? Right, heâd already accepted against his better judgment. It would probably look suspicious if he backed out now, so he figured he had no choice to continue to comply. That, and Vriska would no doubt flap her gums a little too loudly if he even thought of quitting now.
He decided to throw on a plain faded red tee shirt under his favorite gray zip up, deciding against just a long sleeved shirt in case it started getting too hot or something. He slipped on a pair of dark pants and his black tennis shoes. If they were going to be walking around a park, he wanted to make sure his feet would be comfortable for it at least, even of the rest of his body might not be.
He kept trying to push the hand holding thing as far out of his mind as he could, but it kept managing to weasel its way back in. Not only that, but what else would happen? Would John do anything else âdateâish, but claim it was part of the fakeness afterwords? No no, no need to think about that at all. He highly doubted it anyways. But knowing John, heâd probably do something totally unintentionally that would set him off. Ugh.
As he was brushing his hair and making last minute adjustments, he nearly dropped the brush as he heard a knock at the door behind him. That was probably his âdateâ here to pick him up. He set the brush down and glanced at himself in the mirror for a moment. âYou can do this. Youâll be fine,â He mouthed to himself, and after a long inhale and exhale he stepped away to answer the door.
He pulled it open, and have a slight breath of relief as he noticed John was dressed about as informally as he was. Not that it changed much, but at least he knew heâd dressed appropriately. He glanced up into his eyes (donât spend too long thinking about them, Karkat), smirking slightly up at the taller boy.
âWell, you ready for this âdateâ then?â he inquired, rolling his eyes heavily at the mere mention of the âdâ word. Might as well get this show on the road. The sooner it started, the earlier it would end.
John: proceed with date
John flashed his friend a toothy grin. âSure thing! Itâll be awesome, donât worry.â He was determined to just have fun with this thing and ignore any weirdness. Besides, theyâd been meaning to do something other than just movie watching forever.Â
Without further ado, John turned round and headed down the stairs, Karkat following. God, he officially hated walking up and down the dorm stairs ever since the other night, when he and Karkat had been trying to sneak up them. It had all been so traumatic. When they eventually reached the school gates, it was such a relief not to have to climb over it again.Â
âSo, what are we going to do first on this totally romantic date: park strolling or dinner? Or should we just skip ahead to the passionate snogging?â As usual, John was completely unable to resist laughing heartily at his own joke. âOh hey, maybe we can find somewhere that sells fried ice cream or something.â
KARKAT: KEEP YOUR COOL
Karkat just continued smiling as John gave him one in return, doing his best not to think about how dazzling that grin was. Why had the world decided that he needed such deep, clear eyes and an irresistible smile to go along with them? Seriously, when had he ever seen a set of eyes that blue on someone before? Oops, he was getting sidetracked, exactly like he said he wouldnât.Â
He trucked along after John, closing the door behind him as they made their way down the corridor and down the stairs. He inwardly groaned as he accidentally stepped on the one stair that had caused him to bolt on their previous adventure together. He had to remember to avoid that stair coming back up again. Reaching the grounds, Karkat eyed the spot John had nearly âbroken his legâ and again did his best to push those thoughts from his head.
However, at the mere mention of âpassionate snoggingâ he paused for just a moment. He could feel the tips of his ears heating up, but it wasnât spreading anywhere else, he made sure. This whole night was probably going to be filled with these jokes, so he had better make sure he got used to them now. Should he play along? Sure. We all know how well that worked in the past, right?
âWell, as much as we should definitely skip ahead to the kissing, we should go eat first. If the movies are right about anything, you always go and eat first,â he chuckled, going along smoothly. Fried ice cream? Heâd mentioned it on a whim the other night, and was a little surprised heâd brought it up. âIf we want to look for that, weâd have to find a Spanish restaurant. Those seem to be the only places that serve it.â
John: locate food
Oh yeah, they usually did usually eat first in movies, huh. That was how things went on Sarah Jessica Parker and Mattâs first date in Failure to Launch, after all. Then again, that date was kind of a disaster! But it was generally when he went for on subsequent dates, too. Though when they went for seafood, they did it after the sailing. Oh hey, heâd totally gone to get seafood with Kate Huston in How To Lose a Guy In Ten Days, too. Seafood seemed to be a running thing with Matthew McConaughey. Home cooked meals were something he seemed to use a lot for dates in his films, too. And having sex in parents houses? That happened in at least two of them. Okay, he was getting off-topic now.
The point was, he was fairly certain they didnât ALWAYS eat first in movies. Well, it didnât really matter, right? He was sort of hungry anyway. âA Spanish restaurant, huh? I donât think Iâve ever really been to one of those. Think they have one around?â He leaned against a wall and got out a map of the area for them to consult on the matter. There was restaurants marked on there, but it was honestly pretty hard to tell what sort theyâd be. âOh yeah, and I donât really want to eat anywhere too fancy, either. I think itâd feel sort of weird eating somewhere like that, since I hardly ever do.â
KARKAT: ASSIST IN FOOD LOCATION
Karkat watched as John pulled out a map, nearly groaning with his complete hindsight on the issue. Why hadnât he thought to bring one? At least one of the two were prepared for this outing. Karkat had been much too focused on making sure his emotions could be balanced properly to even consider planning anything ahead. He glanced over his shoulder, matching up the specific restaurants with the key in the corner. âYouâve never been to one? Itâs definitely not my favorite, but if you can find a good place the food is pretty decent,â he commented, eyes still scanning the map for what they were looking for.
âDonât worry, those types of restaurants are usually pretty casual. Weâre definitely not dressed for anything fancy anyways,â he chuckled, gesturing to both of their ensembles before turning back to the map. âAh, here we go. This place looks promising,â he noted, tapping a finger at one of the restaurants on the map. It was a bit farther than the convenience store theyâd gone to, but it was still close enough that it would be easy enough to simply walk there. He made a face when he noticed that a park wasnât too far for the restaurant either. Heâd been secretly hoping that maybe there wouldnât be one in the area, but of course he couldnât get that lucky. What was luck, anyways? Something that had always turned the other cheek when it came to Karkat, thatâs what it was.
Speaking of luck, he remembered that Vriska had said she wanted a picture as evidence of this outing. Well, he definitely hadnât remembered to bring his camera. His phone had one, but he could always feign forgetting it. Fuck, then he remembered it was likely Johnâs cell phone had a camera built in too. Fuck technology, why did phones need them installed in the first place? So stupid teenagers and lonely adults could photograph themselves and spam their social networking sites on the go? Whatever the reason, he had never had such an intense loathing for a mobile device as he did in those few minutes. Maybe John would forget about it. Maybe he wouldnât and heâd take more than one stupid picture. Karkat dearly hoped it would be the former.
John: get going
âOh yes, that totally looks like a promising place. You can just tell from the tiny ârestaurantâ symbol that we are in for a high quality dining experience.â He chuckled a little before shrugging and continuing, âbut sure, why not. Spanish food sounds good. Besides, thereâs a park not too far from there where we can fill up the rest of the âdatingâ quota.â He used air quotes around the word âdatingâ, trying his best not to start laughing again.Â
After double checking the map, he marched off in what he hoped was the right direction. John wasnât actually that great with maps, in all honesty. But still, getting there couldnât be that hard. It wasnât as if it was too far away.Â
âShit, I forgot to ask last night. Are you all right? You know, after that whole Meenah incident?â John wondered if he should really be bringing this up. But he really was pretty concerned about the thing. Karkat had definitely looked like he could have been hurt. Gee, maybe John should have just joined the brawl. He didnât know.Â
KARKAT: FOLLOW THE LEADER
Karkat laughed at Johnâs comment about the map, almost forcing himself to keep it up as he used the air quotes. Of course heâd do the same thing (maybe in almost too exaggerated of a fashion), but he honestly didnât even want to mention the word âdateâ at this point. Those air quotations were just a simple reminder that this wasnât in fact a real date at all, and it sometimes took a moment for him to remember that the chance of a real date happening between them was slim to none. The simple quotations had spoken monumentally to him. âOh, yeah, I noticed the park, too. Sounds like itâll be great fun,â he laughed again, trying to keep himself in light spirits. The park was most certainly going to be the worst part of the evening, and he had absolutely no idea what to expect. Maybe he could feign food poisoning after eating.
Hesitating a moment as John took off, it took Karkat a moment to catch up, falling into step next to him in just a few seconds. He quirked an eyebrow at the question, looking at him for a moment before looking ahead again. âYeah yeah, Iâm fine. Did you think Iâd get that beat up by a girl? I was more scarred by the fact that she was naked the whole time then anything she actually did,â he joked, trying to keep the conversation lighthearted to avoid completely shitting on the mood, âI did get a bit of a bruise on my stomach from when she elbowed me, but it doesnât sting or anything. Itâs fine.â His hand unconsciously reached up to rest on the spot for a moment, but he quickly dropped it back down to his side.
âSo. That was some slumber party, huh?â he laughed, keeping his eye out for the restaurant. Why was he so terrible at small talk when he was nervous? He instantly wished he hadnât brought the rest of the night up at all. There was too much that had happened that he had not bee proud of. And too many things that had happened that he really didnât want to dwell on, one game of truth or dare to be specific.
John: try not to act worried
âNah, I wasnât that worried. If I thought you were seriously injured I would have checked up on you last night, probably. I dunno, it sort of slipped my mind?â He paused for a second, âstill, I am glad youâre okay! You seem to get into a lot of fights, you know. First Dave, Sollux, then Vriska, now this one. I kind of hope it doesnât land you in any sort of trouble later.â It wasnât as if he thought anything too serious would ever happen, and John did find Karkatâs spats with the others pretty amusing from time to time, but still. It was a bit of a shame Karkat didnât get along better with a bunch of his friends. John was convinced itâd work out some day, regardless. He just hoped he wouldnât end up having to pick sides with any of these things.Â
Wow, this wasnât exactly a lighthearted conversation. Quick, make a joke. âIf you end up in danger, I might not be around to rescue you! Haha. Iâm just saying be careful, okay?â Yeah, John actually was kind of worried about him making all these enemies. But he didnât want to express that concern too openly because wow that would be pretty lame, and it was probably best they just moved on because this was so not what you were supposed to talk about on a date even if it was just a pretend one. He made an effort to laugh, and was surprised at how easily it came. Well, that made sense. John usually made a semi-conscious decision to be in a cheery mood, after all.
âYeah, tell me about it! Biggest disaster of a sleepover ever. My dorm basically became a palace of sin, what with all that nudity.â He did his best not to flush. âJeez, I hardly knew where to look. It was so awkward and embarrassing.â He totally didnât even consider the fact that heâd been reduced to just his boxers a big deal. John hung around in the bare essentials all the time, but that was totally different because he was a dude, and dudes didnât have boobs. âLol, there was a lot of awkward stuff that night. Like the whole kiss thing! I canât believe I had to kiss you AND Fangs. That was so unfair.â He hadnât forgotten Karkatâs claim that even just a peck on the lips would count as a first kiss, but he decided not to bring that up. Even he could show some degree of tact.Â
KARKAT: DENY
âYeah, I know I have. Though this was the first physical fight Iâve taken part in,â he made sure to highlight that fact. He got into verbal fights all of the time, but it was rare that he would dare to get involved in anything actually violent. He threatened maiming and other injuries all of the time, but the closest he ever came to really hurting someone was sending John violent gifs. Though the flashing pixels might have assaulted his eyes, there was no physical harm done. So why had he jumped in? What had been different than usual? The hurricane that had been steadily brewing in his head that night had been a little blinding, and he had been looking for some way to take out his frustrations. Yes, heâd wanted to defend Aradia and Rose, but normally he would go get an adult instead of leaping headfirst into the fray. But at that point in the night, he was through being nice. He didnât actually throw any punches though, and he had mostly just tried to tug the warring parties apart instead.
Why did John have to keep making these kinds of jokes? Though on a regular basis he would actually find them a little funny, in this situation he knew he was reading too much into it. But what could he do but continue the jest? At least he did actually seem a little concerned for his well being, which was good to know. âOh, next time Iâm sensing another fight boiling in the atmosphere Iâll be sure to wave my distress handkerchief to get your attention and await rescue,â He pantomimed waving the cloth about as he spoke, cracking a grin as he did so. âHey, donât worry about me. When have I ever not been careful? Besides last night, anyways.â If anything, Karkat had been nothing but overly cautious lately.
Dear god, Karkat had been trying to forget about the nudity. Seeing Vriska topless had been nonexistent on his list of things to ever do, and yet she had chosen the night theyâd be playing strip games to not wear a bra. Who did she think she was trying to impress? No one in the room even seemed remotely attracted to the large amounts of exposed boobage, or even the completely naked incident with Meenah. That had made fighting her definitely awkward. Awkward was like the biggest understatement of the century. He could feel the tip of his ears coloring again just at the thought of it. âHardly knew where to look? Your feet. The ceiling. Your eyelids. I definitely caught a lot of eyelid action last night,â he added, chuckling slightly nervously. He definitely hadnât noticed Johnâs near nudity himself. Nope, not one bit. His toes had been looking rather attractive the moment his shirt had come off, and the intense stare heâd been giving them up until heâd lost the pants could have been borderline fetishistic. Who stared at their toes that intently unless they were checking them out? Karkat, thatâs who. He definitely wasnât avoiding ogling at anyone else in the room, no sir. And he wasnât about to start thinking of his wake up the morning after. No need to bust his brain too early in the âdateâ.
Too late for that. John had definitely just mentioned the incident. Heâd mentioned âThe Kissâ. The thing that had sent the night spiraling in a nosedive in the first place. The thing that might haunt his mind for the rest of eternity. The thing heâd wished had actually been a lot more special. Sure, he was the one who had made it quick, but what would he have thought if heâd dragged it out? Then again, John knew heâd never kissed anyone. They had discussed it only the night before! He probably would have understood, right? But there was no real guarantee that he would get it, and would have been completely grossed out. He tried not to think that heâd completely ruined both of their first kisses, but it was constantly pulling its way back into his brain stem.
What exactly had the kiss been like? Sure, it was quick, but even that brief contact of their lips had stirred something within him. His heart had skipped a beat, his breath had hitched in his throat, and something about it made him want to do it again. He really should have made it count. Some first kiss that was. A total dud. His own philosophy told him it was his irrevocable first kiss, but another, increasingly louder part kept mentioning it couldnât count. Wasnât there a time limit or something for it to be a real kiss? It had to be at least five seconds. How long had his been? Maybe one or two? According to the facts, that peck definitely hadnât counted. âAwkward is one way to put it. Another is mortifying. Can you really believe that Vriska chose that as my dare? Talk about disgusting,â his tone was lighthearted and joking, even though it actually hurt a little to say that. He hadnât found it disgusting at all. What he did find disgusting was that he caught himself glancing at those lips again, wanting another shot at them. He quickly averted his gaze to the surrounding scenery, a particular lamp post drawing his attention.
John: discuss awkward subjects
âHuh, really.â The fact that Karkat hadnât actually been in a lot of fights came as no real surprise to John. Heâd always suspected the guy was nothing but hot air, and Karkat had proved this theory correct time and time again. He smiled at him a little fondly. Yup, Karkat was definitely not a bad person, and John was certain he had his heart in the right place. John thought that about most people, but still. He didnât think Karkat was really capable of physically harming another person. âOkay, okay. I just donât want to see you get hurt is all.â He grinned, and waggled a stern finger at him in an exaggerated fashion, âfear not, Iâll hop right on over and rescue you whenever you need me. You know, if Iâm not super busy. I do have other priorities!â
Looking at his feet could have been a good plan, actually. Johnâs eyes had been darting all over the room for the duration of the night. He hadnât wanted to look like a total moron who couldnât even look at a topless girl without it being some huge deal, but he hadnât wanted to look as if he was staring like a total creeper, either. It had all been incredibly awkward and the fact that Vriska was actually pretty attractive really hadnât helped. (Why did he have so many attractive friends?) Not that he had a thing for Vriska, but you know. A hot topless girl was a hot topless girl and John seriously didnât know how to handle that kind of thing. He wasnât good with nudity. That was kind of an understatement, actually. Watching sex scenes in movies with other people around was almost always the most excruciating thing ever, no matter how nonchalant he tried to be with it. His face usually gave him away.Â
âWait, so you just avoided looking at anyone the whole time? But that would have made actually communicating with the others pretty difficultâŠâ It could have seemed kind of offensive, too! Wow John was probably giving this more thought than necessary.Â
Right, right. The kiss. If you could even call it that! It had only even lasted half a second. John would be lying if he said he wasnât the littlest bit disappointed. He wasnât holding out for some super-romantic and special first kiss, and he didnât particularly mind kissing Karkat, but heâd been hoping for something a bit more exciting? Wow, that sounded so incredibly gay. But yeah, basically heâd hoped his first kiss would at least be a proper one. Heâd thought about jokingly telling Karkat what an utterly lame kiss that had been, but he wasnât dumb enough not to notice Karkat had been pretty pissed off by the whole thing. Of course, of course, Karkat was the kind of romantic that would be waiting for true loveâs first kiss, or some garbage like that. Heâd definitely want it to be with somebody he actually had feelings for, rather than just some friend.Â
âDisgustingâ was putting it a bit strongly though, wasnât it?Â
âYeah, I wasnât expecting her to actually go through with asking that. I donât know what her deal is, haha. But come on, it wasnât that bad, was it? Is calling kissing me disgusting any way to behave on a date? Iâm deeply hurt!â He clutched at his heart in a comical fashion.Â
KARKAT: PLAY ALONG
He just didnât want to see him get hurt. John was a good guy, and he probably thought that about all of his friends, but it was still nice to hear anyways. âAlright then, Iâll remember to hold my breath until you arrive on the scene and sweep me away. Hoping youâre not busy of course,â he chuckled, placing his hand dramatically on his forehead for a moment before returning it to his side.
Judging by Johnâs question, he took it that meant he hadnât really tried as hard as Karkat had to avoid having wandering eyes. âCommunicate? What communication? All we did was ask questions and complain whenever we took out clothes off. I did not see the need for eye contact or contact with any other part of the body during that game.â He gave another eye roll as he spoke, doing his best to shy away from the subject. The last thing he needed on his mind right now was John in his boxers again.
Oh fuck, he had really been expecting John to just agree with him and drop the topic. Instead, here was him wondering if it really was that bad. Then joking about it. Trust John to never say what he thought he might. Then again, that wasnât really a bad thing at all. Except in this instance. Was it even a legitimate question, or was it just part of the joke? How was he supposed to answer that without sounding weird? Well, he would try to anyways. âJohn, youâre absolutely right. Is that any way I should be behaving on a date? No, it certainly isnât. I should know better. It wasnât disgusting, it just was not what I was expecting! I apologize for my terrible choice in words.â He clasped his hands together in feigned apology (though the apology wasnât actually much of a joke in actuality).
And it hadnât been what heâd expected at all. Heâd had so many expectations for his first kiss. The other person had to have the same feelings he did. They would have done it alone, not in a room filled with watching and expecting eyes. Maybe after a nice dinner, maybe after a nice stroll, maybe after a movie? And it definitely would have been longer than a second. It wouldnât have involved the same pursed lips, either. Two sets matching each other and moving together softly, not too long but not too short but still left breathless for more at the end. Holding hands, fingers entwined, or maybe around each othersâ waists. That part didnât quite matter as much. And of course, he himself had saw to it that not even one of those requirements had been filled. Fuck, why was he recalling this now? This was the absolute last thing he needed to be thinking about.
John: try not to get offended and enter restaurant
âKarkat! You always have to make eye contact with people at a party, it is part of socializing. Although trying to avoid looking as if you were checking people out was weird, haha. I wish weâd stuck to the whole underwear-and-bras-are-compulsory thing! Oh well. At least none of the guys got buck naked! It could have been so much worse, seriously.â John laughed and stretched his arms out as he walked. It was kind of lucky the game had ended when it did, actually! Or more people could have ended up like Meenah. Awkwaaaard.Â
He smirked at Karkatâs mock apology. Of course, a smirk of Johnâs face just looked sort of ridiculous, but like he cared. âDamn straight! If Vriska werenât paying, youâd totally be getting the bill for that one.â It was hard to tell if his words actually had any seriousness to them when he put it like that, of course. Probably not, since what heâd said had been pretty heavy on the sarcasm. Had Karkat actually found briefly kissing him disgusting? John still thought that was a bit of an overstatement and kind of wanted to ask him again if he honestly thought it was that awful, because just giving somebody you were good friends with a really quick peck on the lips didnât seem like that huge a deal to him. Hell, in some countries that was a normal show of affection, right? John thought it had been kind of nice in a way even if heâd kind of wanted a proper kiss but not in a gay way obviously. But yeah, it was probably best to just drop the subject. It wasnât as if it really mattered and they were hardly going to do it again. This was a stupid thing to be getting offended over.
He pushed the thought from his mind as best he could, as carried on. âSpeaking of which, I wonder what the usual money protocol is when dudes date, since they donât normally have some creeper paying for everything. With normal couples the guy pays, right? Does they just split or the bills, or does the manlier one pay? Hmm, maybe whoever asked the other out pays?â He was kind of curious, even though the answer to this would obviously never be relevant to him. Unless by some miracle Matthew McConaughey asked him on a date, in which case it was obvious Matthew would be paying since he was older and also because he was a famous actor with loads of money to spare.Â
Oh hey, theyâd made it to the restaurant. Looked like Johnâs sense of direction wasnât as poor as heâd thought! Or had Karkat been leading? He wasnât really all that certain. Theyâd kind of just been walking in step? Wow, asking for a table felt weird. They probably looked like a total gay couple. That was the whole, point, he supposed, but still. Weeeird.Â
KARKAT: DONâT BE TOO INCRIMINATING
âExactly my point. I was fine with it until they started taking the tops off, and then my eyes decided there were better things to look at then topless girls. They shouldnât have even been allowed to play if thatâs what they were planning. Fuck, youâre right, thank god none of the guys went farther then their boxers either,â just thinking about it made his head hurt. It would have been a completely nudist party (one that he would have swiftly departed at that point). And once again, he hoped the subject would be dropped. That seemed to be a problem, and once again his mind didnât need to start drifting. At all.
Wow, looks like John actually was willing to drop it this time. He had expected more joking to be had, or something, but he was pretty much dropping it straight away. He wasnât quite sure what to think of that. Was this really bothering him that much? No, it couldnât be. This was John, after all. Nothing ever seemed to legitimately phase him as far as he could tell. Thank goodness, because kissing in general was something he hadnât meant to spend too much time dwelling on. âIf Vriska werenât paying I would have picked up every cent of the bill,â he agreed, and if she hadnât been paying it would have been true. âThough if Vriska werenât paying, we probably wouldnât be on a âdateâ in the first place.â Totally blunt. He didnât use any air quotes, but the emphasis he placed on the word was indication enough of its illegitimacy. It didnât matter if he sort of wanted to play up the date part of it, his self control and tsundereness would never allow it.
Oh, here was another awkward topic. What did guys do when they were dating? Karkat honestly didnât even know himself what exactly the appropriate protocol was. âMaybe itâs a trade off? Maybe they take turns? Maybe whichever one of them manages to convince the other to put away their wallet?â he felt like he should contribute as well, sort of smiling at the last one. Is was always kind of sweet when the did that. Wait, no. Donât distract yourself with cutesy couple things that you want to do, just keep your head in the game. He felt only slightly awkward as the waitress led them to their table, only feeling a little better after theyâd been sat down and given menus. Wait, why was he feeling weird about it? Two guy friends went to go eat all of the time. This was just a usual outing between two friends. Nothing unusual about that at all. âDateâ was just a tack they were using to get fifty dollars out of Vriska. Nothing more, nothing less.
âI havenât been to one of these places in a long time,â he commented, flipping the menu open and glancing at its contents, âFor the life of me I canât remember if it was the enchiladas or the quesadillas that I had, but they were good.â After comparing the descriptions of the two foods for a minute, he decided that the quesadillas sounded close enough to what he could recall. âSee anything in there you think looks good?â When the waitress returned to take their order, he requested them along with a glass of water. It was going to be a long afternoon.
John: order food
âBetter things to look at than topless girls? Gee, Karkat, maybe Vriska was right! Thatâs pretty damn gay.â He laughed lightly, obviously just teasing. Hell, he was a straight guy, but random boobs could still be kind of gross. Though that was partly just because they made him feel really really uncomfortable, rather than any real disgust. Haha, he needed to stop thinking about this.Â
âAww, thatâs real sweet of you, offering to foot the bill. Though implying youâd only date me if you were paid to sort of negates the effect. Youâre horrible at this courtship thing, dude.â He shook his head in mock disappointment, before continuing. âAnyway, weâd totally be doing this without her input. Just minus a couple of bonus aspects, I guess?â
The good news was they had a nice table in the corner. John scanned the menu vaguely, momentarily put out by the Spanish names. Hahaha, he had no idea what any of this shit was. Oh hey, paella. That looked familiar, enough, and heâd had it a couple of time. He ordered the paella valenciana and a sprite.
After the waitress had wondered off, he leaned forward a little. âPsst, Karkat. Do you think she guesses that we are âdatingâ? Weâre not paying by the way, you can totally order something better than just free water.â Oh yeah, shit. âOpps, speaking of those dating bonus aspects. Weâre meant to be sharing a drink, arenât we? Wait, do they even do milkshakes here, you think? I guess we could just share a soda since they did it in Valley Girl and all, but I still donât think the effect is quite the same. Milkshakes kind of seem more romantic.â The prospect of this didnât really bother John. They had totally shared ice creams the other day, and that had been perfectly fine. This was no different, in all honesty.Â
KARKAT: TRY NOT TO APPEAR TOO RECEPTIVE
âJohn, come on. Thatâs obviously not what I meant. The only thing that had been even remotely attractive in that room had been the backs of my eyelids,â he chuckled in response, totally playing the question off. Okay, now was a good time to drop it. He couldnât believe out of all the topics they hadnât dropped yet, this was still one of them. He was pretty much done talking about naked people, and he was definitely ignoring the gay comment.
âYeah, thatâs true. Weâd probably have found someplace to go eat with or without Vriskaâs help,â he acknowledged, sighing softly. The more he fought this, the more John might actually suspect. He hadnât seemed to have any problems (probably because with his mentality he didnât see anything too weird about this) with it, so maybe he should just loosen his self control a little bit. Just a little. Wait, had he said bonus aspects? What did that mean? Bonus could mean about as many different things as fuck could, and he had no idea how he was supposed to interpret that. He decided heâd wait and see what happened before making any rash decisions about it. He wasnât about to go making a wrong assumption and make an ass out of himself, since it sort of felt like heâd already done that.
What kind of a question was that, John? Did she suspect? âIf you keep mentioning it, she might think something of it. At this point, she has no real reason to suspect anything than platonic friends simply getting a bite to eat,â he replied, leaning forward a bit too since the other seemed to be doing it. Oh fuck, that was right. They were supposed to be doing things like that, too. Wait, receptive. Take advantage of this while you can, Karkat. This would probably be the first and last time you got this opportunity with him. âJohn, they have milkshakes at every restaurant these days despite the theme or culture. Iâll be sure to ask, because that would definitely be better to share than a soda.â Wow, he had totally gone along with the idea. Not forcing it back actually felt a little good! When the waitress returned with their drinks, he inquired about the milkshake. It looked like they did serve them, and he was sure to ask for two straws. He couldnât quite read the look she gave him before she left again. Whatever, his mentality had totally done a 180. He did not give one single fuck about what their waitress might be thinking. He didnât give a single fuck for the world at that moment in time.
âWell, that takes care of that. In response to your earlier question again, yes, I think she does suspect a âdateâ now,â he laughed, surprised at how much easier it had come to him than before. It was almost a little scary. He had to remember not to let himself go too far, for fear of slipping up too badly. But if John wanted to play this up, then he figured he might as well too. He was tired of being the spoilsport, and he definitely couldnât deny that he really wished this could be an actual date. Itâs probably come up to bite him in the ass later in the day, but he was trying not to think that far ahead.
John: flirt shamelessly (no homo!)
âThat was the only remotely attractive thing in the room?â He sighed dramatically, âlike I said, you are the worst at courtship, possibly ever. I was in that room, you know. And implying youâd rather look at your eyelids than your date half naked? No good!â He waggled an accusatory finger at him again, with a grin.Â
âHahaha, yeah. But it would be somewhere much cheaper! Like the noodle bar, or McDonaldâs. Or the sidewalk again, haha. This place has kind of a different atmosphere, I guess?â When he thought about it though, you could totally count that whole ice cream getting thing as a date. Hell, even the movie nights could be considered dates. It was difficult to know where the boundary was, kind of. The real difference was probably intention. Dates were romantic, hanging out was platonic. So how was platonic friends going on a date supposed to work? John was pretty sure it wouldnât, really, but it was still starting to feel like fun.Â
It wasnât like he was actually romantically interested in Karkat, hahaha. But doing romantic-y things was pretty enjoyable regardless? And anyway, this was far from the first time heâd joked about the two of them.Â
âSharing a soda is completely lame and not at all romantic. In my professional opinion. How you found that crap in Valley Girl charming is utterly beyond me. But whatever.â He let out what sounded remarkably like a giggle (not dissimilar to the one he emitted when trying to prank somebody or when telling a particularly shitty joke) at Karkatâs assessment of the waitresses opinion. âYup, if she didnât think anything of it before, I am pretty sure she is now.â The look on her face had kind of proved this, too.
âWait, wait. Weâre meant to do pictures, arenât we. Hold on a sec.â John retrieved his phone from his hoodie pocket, quickly lifting it up to snap a picture of the two of them sitting together. Heâd already decided he may as well just document the whole thing, and now was as good a time to start as ever.
He was pretty hungry when the food finally did arrive. Pfft, and the milkshake. Lol. Oh man, were they actually going to do that coupley thing where you both drank at the same time? John decided to just leave that up to Karkat, not moving the glass when he did take a sip.Â
KARKAT: FLIRT SNEAKILY
And the topic still continued. Still kept rolling. John, you might have a problem. This was a density problem, and Karkat sure as hell hoped that it was so thick he wouldnât notice the subtle coloring of his cheeks. Why wouldnât the world let him stop thinking about a half naked John? âI am the worst date ever, John. You were just too stunning to behold, and my eyes just could not handle that overload of gorgeous. I hope youâll be able to find it in that big old heart of yours to once again forgive me of my actions,â he laughed, once again surprised at how easy it was. Peppering the jokes with his real feelings usually hurt a little more than this, but getting semi-reciprocation from John (though it was all totally fake) actually allowed him to do it not as reluctantly as usual. It was really weird.
âYeah, this place definitely has a different feel. All sit-down restaurants do compared to fast food places,â
he added, regarding that evening theyâd spend eating ice cream together a little fondly. Another situation you could call a practical âdateâ. Theyâd both fed each other their ice cream, and Karkat would have been lying if he thought it hadnât felt at least a little romantic. He knew of course that John didnât feel the same way at all (it stung just a little bit), but he wasnât going to let himself be bogged down by negative thoughts at the moment. Those would be reserved for later in the evening.
âI admit that sharing a soda wasnât nearly as nice or romantic as sharing a milkshake, but it was still the thought and sentiment that counts,â he defended, but even that was a little hard to defend when shakes were practically a staple of the picture perfect date.
Pictures. Shit, he had still been hoping that he had forgotten about those. He wasnât totally prepared for the snapshot, so he may or may not have been completely smiling, but a small one had tugged up the corners of his mouth just enough that he didnât appear completely grumpy. âShe wonât be able to complain after seeing these,â he chuckled, his building smile widening in anticipation as the food was brought out. All of this banter was making him hungrier than he had thought heâd be. He had been almost sure he wouldnât be able to stomach a single bite when the day began.
He eyes the shake warily at first. He stuck his straw into it, watching as John leaned in to take the first sip. He was doing things differently now, but would he actually be able to take a drink at the same time as him? John hadnât said anything about it, so he assumed that meant the decision was being left to him. Against the usual part of his mind that was yelling at him to stop, he actually decided to lean forward and take a few sips at the same time. Suddenly the frosty beverage seemed to be disappearing twice as fast, and the sensation actually traveled up the straw in a way he had not been expecting. God, no wonder couples thought to do this. He paused after a bit to begin eating his food, the additions to his near-empty stomach completely welcome. âSo what do you think? Good?â heâd been referring to the food of course, but his unspecificity could have definitely been interpreted as a flirtatious comment about their shared beverage instead.
John: be ambiguous
John grinned at the comment, not taking it even remotely seriously. After all, he knew he was nothing special. âPsssh, maybe I can forgive you, if you are that sorry! Itâs understandable since I am really attractive. Youâll have plenty of time to make it up to me, after all. Iâm sure youâll think of something.â Yup, joking like this was pretty usual for John. Though it did feel a little different when they were on a supposed âdateâ?
âYeah, I actually prefer fast food to restaurants usually. I guess I just donât have particularly classy tastes, haha. Which is a good thing, since I have like, no money. Still, coming out once in a while is pretty nice. If only Vriska could pay us to date all the time,â he rambled, taking a few forkful of his food. Hey, it wasnât half bad. John was getting through the dish pretty quickly, unsurprising considering heâd skipped out on breakfast. He wasnât really thinking about the implications of what heâd just said, of course. John never thought about implications of these things, he just sort of went with it?
He paused eating for a moment to examine the picture heâd just taken. Lol, Karkat looked like kind of an idiot! Heâd totally been caught off guard, that much was clear. The guy really was not all that photogenic, actually. He looked a lot better in real life? When he was properly animated. âYup, weâll make completely certain Vriska has absolutely nothing to complain about. Where doing it, man. Where making this happen.â Oops, did Karkat even read Daveâs shitty webcomic? The reference might be lost on him. Not that Daveâs awful crap was anything worth reading! Pfft, look at John taking cheap shots at his bro even in his head.
Oh, Karkat was actually taking John up on that unspoken offer. That had been sort of unexpected! He kind of thought Karkat would just wait until John leaned back before he took a sip himself. Not that it really mattered! Like most of this stuff, John didnât think it was a huge deal. âHuh? Oh, yeah, pretty nice!â John reply had been just as ambiguous as Karkatâs question, which was the only proper way to respond to vague questions like that, as far as John was concerned. Besides, there wasnât really anything right now that didnât fall under the umbrella of âpretty niceâ. Except maybe Karkatâs face! Oh, snap. Why did John come up with these things in his head? If only heâd been doing that monologue out loud.Â
KARKAT: RECEIVE MIXED SIGNALS
âOh yes, donât worry. Iâm sure Iâll think of some way to make it up to you,â he replied, smirking a little, âThough if you think of anything I can do, donât hesitate to let me know.â With that, he hoped that this conversation was finished. He had been done with this conversation minutes ago, and he still didnât get why it was continuing along anyways. Please let John realize that this leg of their chat had reached the end of its course. Let it lie down and die, just like it should have some time ago.
So John preferred fast food restaurants to these nicer establishments? He did have to admit, there was something sort of quaint about fast food places, but as far as dates like this went the fancier ones were a little more romantic. Though on a regular basis, either one didnât really matter to him as long as they were serving food he was in the mood for. âYeah, itâs definitely hard to do anything if you donât have any money. At least weâve got something to line our wallets with now,â he agreed, taking a few more bites of his food before continuing, âMaybe we should ask her to pay us again the next time we hang out.â He gave a laugh, letting it die out slowly as he realized what they were both implying. Was John saying that heâd actually consider doing this again in the future? Half the time he was using the quotes, half the time he wasnât. He continued eating as these mixed signals rattled around in his head a little bit.
âShe better not complain about any of this. Weâve been doing everything she wanted us to,â he agreed, the reference definitely soaring right over his head. Where doing this? Where making this happen? He could garner that is was a quote at least, but he had absolutely no fucking clue what exactly it was a quote from. Maybe one of his stupid movies they hadnât watched yet? He really had no idea. âBesides, it doesnât matter if sheâs pleased or not. Weâre having fun, right? I think thatâs the main thing that counts.â And it really was, wasnât it? After heâd decided to loosen up a bit, Karkat had definitely begun to enjoy the outing more. He was avoiding thinking about the walk after dinner though, so that was probably helping. Shit, heâd been scarfing his food down way too fast. Besides a few crumbs and stray strands of cheese, heâd already finished his quesadillas off. The waitress came back, and he made sure to request a dish of the fried ice cream for dessert. He never could stomach too much of it, especially after a meal, so he figured itâd be enough for them to share.
He polished off his glass of water as well, taking a few more sips from the milkshake as they waited. âOh, thatâs good. Yeah, this stuff is pretty great, isnât it?â He was feeling those mixed signals again. Most people didnât describe food as âniceâ, they would use other words like âdeliciousâ or âtastyâ. Had he been referring to the milkshake incident? Was he referring to this âdateâ in general? Maybe he should have phrased his question better to avoid confusion. Oh, thank god. The waitress had returned with their dessert. Karkat grabbed the spoon that had come with his fork, and motioned to the bowl. âSince you havenât tried this yet, you get the first bite.â
John: joke inappropriately
âOh, donât worry. I will,â John replied smugly, putting on an exaggerated âsexy voiceâ and throwing in an eyebrow wiggle for good measure. This was perfect, John was totally great at eyebrow wiggling. He knew this because heâd spent hours practicing in the mirror years ago for just such occasions. Just saying âeyebrow wiggleâ on the internet didnât have quite the same comical effect. Of course he was just being comical here.Â
He shrugged at Karkat, âyeah, but I donât think sheâd be all that willing! She would catch on to our scheming ways eventually. Speaking of which,â he added, devising a great idea, âwe should totally buy each other presents or something. They will come out of Vriskaâs date fund, and weâll get free stuff. It is a flawless plan.â John had this all worked out. They may as well get as much out of this as possible, right? Maybe they could stop off at a gift shop or something.Â
It came as a bit of a relief when Karkat said he was having fun. Heâd definitely seemed reluctant to go along with Vriskaâs thing, and John had been worried maybe Karkat thought it was too weird? Sure, they joke about that sort of thing over the internet or even occasionally during movie nights, but actually going on a pseudo-date could easily have been a step too far. Luckily that didnât seem to be the case here.
John was having fun too, he guessed. Hanging out with Karkat was pretty much always really great, and the fact that he was somebody new and exciting didnât hurt. That was probably why John had been spending a little more time with Karkat than his old buddies?
âSure it is. This stuff is awesome.â John still had no idea what they were actually discussing here, lol. But he leaned forward to drink at the same time as Karkat, and the food wasnât even there any more, so it looked like they were probably talking about the milkshake. Maybe that was what Karkat meant in the first place, who knew? At any rate, they should probably just drop the meaningless conversation while they still could.Â
He raised an eyebrow at Karkat grabbing the spoon. âOh man, youâre going to feed me. How very romantic. Iâm pretty sure thatâs not on Vriskaâs list, you know.â He was obviously just teasing, considering theyâd done exactly this a few days ago, but the temptation to poke fun at him was too great. It didnât stop him totally going along with it, though.
KARKAT: INCREASE CONFUSION
What in the hell was that? What was John doing with his eyebrows? What was that thing heâd tried to do with his voice? Was he trying to be sexy right now? Is that really what he was doing? He had never seen another personâs eyebrows move up and down quite like that before. He opened his mouth to make a comment, but words escaped him quickly and he closed it a moment later. Why did he actually find that display attractive? John, you always had to get the last word in, didnât you? It was a joke. It had to be, right?
As if he wasnât getting even more confused, the mention of buying each other gifts was throwing his mind for a complete other loop. Jesus, werenât you only supposed to buy gifts for a legitimate date? Since when did friends buy gifts for each other? He seemed to be getting really into this âdateâ. Then again, heâd mentioned Vriskaâs willingness to pay for things. Maybe this was just an opportunity to get a bunch of cool things for free. Right, that was probably it. âSure. Does that mean you want to look for a shop? We can buy things for each other. Vriska will be so proud,â he was laughing again, but this one was just a little forced. He still didnât know what he should be thinking about this.
Karkat glanced down at the spoon, swallowing hard as he looked from the ice cream to John again. Heâd been originally just planning on handing him the spoon, but at the mention of feeding it to him he couldnât help himself. It was on his big list of romantic things that he wanted to do, after all. Sure, theyâd already done the milkshake thing, and sure, theyâd fed each other ice cream once before, he wouldnât complain if he was willing to let him do it again. Make the most of it while you can, and whatnot.
Despite his conflicted feelings, that didnât stop the smile that crept onto his face as he scooped a bit of the ice cream up, making sure to get some of the fried shell along with it. âYou know me, John. I am a master of romance. There is no one better at it than I. And you never know, she might actually have it on there somewhere.â Sounded like a reasonable excuse, right? Completely. Once they finished this ice cream and paid they would probably go and get these gifts, and then came the park. At least now there was a slight buffer between the two events. Heâd just enjoy this ice cream feeding for now and think about that later.
John: eat icecream
Hahaha, Karkat looked like he didnât even know how to respond to that. Looked like a victory for John! He didnât know, he always felt like heâd won a prize whenever he managed to leave Karkat speechless. Which heâd totally done just now. Hell yes, he always knew the eyebrow thing was completely irresistible! (That was a joke, it obviously looked really silly.)
âYeah, I guess so! We can find a gift shop or something, maybe? Ideally we would just spend all the money on DVDs, but Iâm not sure thatâd meet the âdate requirementâ criteria! And then like, she might not pay.â Yup, this was definitely a cool idea. It wasnât actually on the specified list of activities, but hey. Vriska was encouraging improvisation, right? And in all honesty, it sounded like a fun idea.
John ate it off the spoon Karkat was holding out to him cheerfully enough, like it was no big deal. Which it totally wasnât. They did get a couple of looks from some of the other diners, but John was not exactly the type to pick up on it. He just savoured the ice cream for a moment, marvelling at how the hell frying it was possible, and why it totally worked. He let Karkat feed him a couple more spoonfuls before he spoke again.
âOh yes, Karkat. You are a regular Casanova. All those awful romcoms must have taught you something because I am totally smitten right now.â He was intending to go for sarcasm, but he couldnât help grinning a little as he took the spoon from Karkat to return the gesture. âCome on, you have the rest. Anyway, Iâm pretty sure thatâs not how it works. The list was compulsory stuff that she actually informed us about! Although maybe there are secret things we could get paid extra for, who knows.âÂ
KARKAT: FINISH ICE CREAM
Well, spending money on DVDs sounded like a good plan if anything. Not that they were bound to run out of movies anytime soon, but it never hurt to add more to the collection (which between the two of them was already staggering). He had been getting ready to agree, until he mentioned this âdate requirementâ crap. When had Vriska explicitly said anything about what they could or couldnât buy for each other? Sheâd basically told them that if there was anything they wanted to get, sheâd reimburse enough to let them buy each other gifts. What if he wanted to give John a new movie, or vice versa? It would still be a gift, and itâd be definitely be good enough for himself, anyways. âYeah, we can do that. Weâll have to take another look at that map, though. If weâre lucky, there might be one nearby. That way we still wouldnât be that far from the park.â Shit, why had he mentioned it? He wasnât supposed to be thinking that far ahead.
Karkat hoped John wasnât catching his stare. He watched with slight fascination with each spoonful, feeling his heart pound with each additional scoop. He glanced away at one point, and he caught the eye of someone in the booth across from him. Oh, shit, thatâs right. They were in public. As he continued the feeding, he felt heat rushing into his cheeks from his ears as he noticed that several people were watching. Well, you know what? Screw them. This was none of their business anyways. He turned his attention back to John, hoping he hadnât noticed anything unusual. He wasnât making any jokes or comments, though, so it seemed his natural obliviousness was shielding him to their immediate surroundings. Good. He didnât know if he could bear a joke about their onlookers.
âOh, I know. Iâm just surprised itâs taken you this long to realize it. My pores just ooze charm and irresistability,â he tried to keep his voice straight, but there were small chuckles within the words anyways. He didnât object as John took the spoon from him, letting it slide through his fingers easily. He allowed his hands to rest in his lap once again, snorting slightly at his last response. âYeah, maybe if we mention this to her, sheâll fork out some extra cash.â As John prepared to feed him the rest, he did his best to avoid looking at the others in the room. He decided to glance at the ice cream bowl (though more often then not he wound up staring at John expectantly between bites), savoring the taste of each additional spoonful he was fed. Wait, John had used this spoon just before him. Wasnât that sort of like an indirect kiss? No, no it wasnât. Just keep eating.
He sighed with content after he was given the last bite, signaling the waitress once again. She returned with the bill, which was admittedly a bit cheaper than he thought. Right, heâd gotten the water. âOkay. Letâs pay them, leave the poor woman a nice tip for dealing with our shit, and letâs head out.â
John: leave restaurant
 âOh yeah, we donât want to stray too far from the park! I am not walking all the way back to it just so that we can do some more walking with the exciting addition of hand holding and a few trees.â This was pretty much bullshit; John thought hanging out in the park sounded kind of cool. But still. âWeâll just see what type of shops are nearby and leave it to chance. Leave it to fate, even! Lol.â He nodded sagely, âVriska canât argue with that! Hopefully theyâll be a movie store or something, but if thereâs only places selling clothes or food or even dumb romantic gifts like those ridiculous teddy bears then weâll go for that?âÂ
He grinned as he shoveled the remaining ice cream into his friendâs mouth. âAbsolutely! I donât know how I failed to see it before. Your allure is practically off the charts! I am utterly spellbound. Itâs honestly taking all my self-control not to just jump your bones right here and now,â he chuckled. More accurately, it was actually taking a lot of self control not to deliberately hit him in the face with a load of fried ice cream. If they werenât in public, he totally would have done. It would be so funny.
âWhat do you mean âdealing with our shitâ? Weâve been great. The only thing shitty here is your attitude, mister!â John teased, before hastily paying for the food with some of the money Vriska had given him. Better remember to get her a receipt, too. What Karkat meant by the âpoor womanâ went completely over his head, but he left her a reasonable tip regardless. Pfft, it wasnât like it was his money anyway.Â
He followed Karkat out of the restaurant, both of them coming to a halt a few yards from it as they realized theyâd need to consult the map again. John pulled it out of his pocket with a flourish, looking at the nearby buildings. âOh hey, that Blockbusters I picked Valley Girl up from is just down the road. Thereâs usually titles you can buy there, as well as just renting. Thereâs a florist round the corner too, hahaha. Did you want flowers, Karkat?âÂ
KARKAT: DONâT FREAK OUT
âNo kidding. If the stores wind up being too far away, I seriously wouldnât want to do that much additional walking. It would be terrible if our nice park walk would get cut short due to sore feet or something,â he replied, trying his best not to let the otherâs words settle in his head too long. He had to go and mention the hand holding, didnât he? Of course. He was mentioning everything that was done in a date. So much for trying to make this a normal friend outing plus hand holding. Why did he seem so eager about all of this stuff, anyways? Had he totally been reading him wrong this whole time? Ugh, he didnât want to start thinking of what-ifs right now. Though as far as stores went, maybe if they were lucky, it would be far away and then he wouldnât be in much of a walking mood. Knowing John? Not likely. He did still have that food poisoning card up his sleeve, anyways. Heâd have to see how things progressed. âOh yes, Iâm sure fate will dictate plenty of stores nearby. Vriska couldnât even hope to argue with any of this. She had mentioned it first, anyways. Of course, John. How did you know a teddy bear was exactly what I wanted?â he joked, almost baffled he even brought actual âdateâ gifts up along with the movies. Why did he have to send all of these mixed signals?
âŠWhat? John hadnât just said that. Maybe he should invest his newly earned money in a hearing aid, because there was no way John had just said that he would âjump himâ. Wait a minute, this was John. Of course heâd just said that. Of course heâd be all over these jokes today. He dwelled on the word âhonestlyâ for just a moment, but with that laugh it was obvious he wasnât being honest about that at all. He seriously wanted to tell him off, but he wasnât about to yell about how much of a dick move it was to mess around with his feelings like that. Why? Because he didnât have feelings for him, thatâs why. Karkat certainly didnât think of him as anything more than a friend, and that kind of outburst would be totally unwarranted and probably screw up the rest of this godforsaken âdateâ. âI had no idea my natural magnetism was having such an effect on you. Iâm surprised! Just be sure to control yourself while weâre in public!â He couldnât believe he was actually playing along with this one. He hoped it would drop a lot quicker than the nudity subject had.
âOuch, John, that hurts. Maybe youâre the shitty one, being so terrible to my attitude,â he feigned sadness in his voice, laughing only a moment later. This was the kind of joking that was just fine. There was nothing confusing or misleading about it, and it didnât make his feelings loop around like a roller coaster rocketing out of control.
 As they departed the restaurant, he waited as John glanced over the map. Good, so there was an actual movie store nearby. That would be perfect. Wait, what was that about flowers? Maybe he really should think about getting that hearing aid. Sometimes he was surprised that Johnâs amazing amounts of density hadnât caused things to start orbiting around him like he was a sun. It was definitely large enough to make a black hole where his brain should have been. Flowers? He didnât know if he could take getting flowers as a false gesture. And once again knowing him, it was likely that he would make a few false jokes while presenting him with said bouquet. He really wouldnât be able to take that. Play it off, and maybe theyâd just go get movies instead. âBlockbuster? Perfect. They usually have decent selections when youâre looking to buy, anyways.â he made sure to give John a questioning smile, laughing as he continued, âFlowers? Really? Come on, John. Flowers are dating rule 101, of course, but seriously. What the hell would I do with a bunch of flowers?âÂ
John: insist on flowers
âYup, it totally is. Raw animal magnetism, dude. But it is okay, I will do my utmost to restrain myself, as difficult as it is. Weâll save all that raw, unadulterated, passionate, loving, sexy sexual intercourse for a more appropriate venue,â John chortled. That line from Karkatâs Maid in Manhattan review would never stop being hilarious, and John would never stop quoting it at every chance he got. Served him right for writing such utter trash. Pfft, Karkatâs movie blog was an absolute gold mine of quotes, seriously.Â
He frowned at Karkatâs apparent refusal to go get flowers. Lame! At this point, John thought it was much more fun to make the whole âdateâ as authentic as possible. It was funnier that way, itâd appease Vriska, and eh, he guessed it could be good practice for the future? Theyâd both be totally smooth operators, haha. The point was, if they were going to be on some fake date they might as well just go for it. John was just going with the flow.Â
âI donât know, admire their beauty? Put them in a vase as a nice souvenir? And a token of my affection? I cannot believe you are turning down my generous offer, dude. If you are going to be like that, you can buy me flowers. As an apology for that stuff from earlier. You know, since first you said kissing me was gross, then you implied looking at me was, too. Terrible dating skills, really. And you did say youâd make it up to me!â John didnât even want flowers that much, since Karkat was right, it wasnât as if you could do much with them, but hell if they werenât going to do this anyway just so that John could teasingly prove a point. He grabbed his sleeve and tugged him in the right direction. They were doing this whether Karkat liked it or not.Â
âWeâll go buy movies afterwards. You can never have too many movies, right? Besides, maybe I can add something to your collection that isnât total garbage! You can write up a nice review of it and everything, and possibly dedicate it to me.â In all honestly, John just sort of wanted to drag the whole thing out more. Hanging out with Karkat in town was way better than hanging around the school, after all. And it was always good to take time out to insult Karkatâs taste in cinema. That was like, an important staple of their relationship. Even if John actually kind of enjoyed the majority of Karkatâs romcoms.Â
KARKAT: CEDE TO JOHNâS DEMANDS
âOf course. Weâre going back to my room after weâre finished, got it?â he chuckled, almost wanting to slap himself in the face. Why had he just said that out loud? Why was he still adding fuel to this horrible joke? He was done commenting on it, done adding to it, and he was ready to move on to a new subject. That was all there was to know on the matter. Ignore his yet-again quote from his movie review, and donât look back on the conversation.
Oh, okay. Looked like John had put a lot of thought into what he was going to say if Karkat rejected had rejected his flower proposal. And why did he have to phrase it like that? John, these flowers were not a token of your affections. If they were, then this would be a real date. With real feelings between them. The flowers would be a constant reminder of that. But he did say heâd do anything to make it up to him. And he was still upset about his kiss comment? Was he really upset about it, or was he just bringing it back up because he had brought up everything else? âOkay, okay. Youâre right, I did mention that I would do anything in order to try and make up for my past transgressions. I guess the least I could do is let you get me some flowers. Iâll be sure to look upon them fondly,â he sighed, keeping up with him as he was half dragged down the street, knowing a struggle was pointless. If he refused to move John probably would have gotten them and brought them back to him anyways. Either way, he felt his dinner shift uncomfortably in his stomach. âI did say I was sorry about that, though. It really wasnât that bad,â he insisted, hoping it wouldnât sound too weird. Since it kept getting mentioned, he thought John might have been genuinely upset about the issue so heâd try to apologize in a less sarcastic manner this time.
âWell, I could say the same thing. I need to help you expand your collection to more then just the dead animals on the side of the road that is dedicated to good movies. Oh, donât you worry. That movie review would be heavily dedicated to you, and why your choice on the movie was a terrible one.â Oh, shit. There was the flower shop straight ahead. Maybe now was the time to pull out the ace in his sleeve. Fuck, he wasnât actually going to use it, was he?
John: stay casual
He laughed. It was probably true, after all! Although they would not really be going back to Karkatâs room for tender lovemaking, obviously. He assumed theyâd be watching movies in Karkatâs dorm when all this was over. âWhatever you say, captain. Letâs just hope Daveâs not around! We would not want him walking in on us in the throngs of passion. Unless youâre into that, I guess.â John immediately regretted bringing Dave up. Karkat was one thing, but joking about sleeping with Dave was way, way too weird. Well, that wasnât totally true, since he had joked about Dave a few times actually, but still. It suddenly felt all kinds of wrong.
Pfft, Karkat was agreeing to the original request instead of the subsequent demand? Typical. Only a total girl would rather have flowers brought for them than buy someone flowers, haha. But sure, John didnât care either way. He pulled Karkat along merrily enough, until Karkat suddenly dropped that apology on him. Woah, shit. John hadnât made it that obvious heâd taken offence, had he? He hoped not. It would probably seem really gay, even if it made perfect sense in his own head.
âOh what, seriously? Right. Glad to hear it, Karkat,â uh oh, he was doing it again. Sounding like he might actually care. Quick, heâd have to throw in another flippant comment. âI think ânot that badâ is a bit of an understatement, though! What you should have said was âthe best kiss everâ. The only bad thing was that it didnât last longer.â John wasnât usually the type to joke about something he actually did mean, but that was hardly something you could just say, hahaha. Besides, outright admitting he wouldnât have minded a proper kiss, just for the experience, was obviously completely out of the question.
Oh good, they were outside the flower shop. It really wasnât far at all, was it? He tugged Karkat inside, grinning at the bemused shop assistant. Right, this was the perfect opportunity for a shitty pick up line. Did they still count as pick up lines if you were already on a date? Whatever. He lowered his voice. âOh man, if I had to get a flower for each time I thought about how great you are, Iâd have to buy out the whole store!â he stopped to laugh at himself, before continuing, âby the way, I donât know shit about flowers. Is there anything in particular you want?â
KARKAT: CHOOSE FLOWERS CAREFULLY
Karkat nearly choked on air, making a sort of strangled coughing sound. And now he was dragging Dave into this too? Did he EVER think about what he was saying? Ever? How was he even supposed to respond to that? âFuck no, unless you are,â was about all he managed, trying not to appear too startled. But with the look he currently had on his face that was hard to do.
Here it came again. Was he being serious? Was he joking? The way he worded it seemed a little insincere, but the way he said it was confusing. Dammit, so he was thinking the kiss was too short too, huh? He knew he should have done a real kiss. âUnderstatement of the year. Sorry, John, youâre right. It was the best kiss Iâve ever had. But yeah, I was just really fucking flustered and wanted to get it done as quick as I could, despite what Iâd said about it the night before.â Crap, had he just admitted that heâd wanted the kiss to be longer too? And heâd referenced that first kiss talk, too. This was sounding bad, and pretty damn incriminating. Maybe he could just bite his tongue off and stop saying stupid things. Maybe it wouldnât seem too bad. Maybe Johnâs obliviousness might be a good thing for once.
Laughing about it, of course. Another joke, as usual. But it was sweet, for a pick up line. Sweeter than a lot of the other things heâd said today. And how he wished that he meant it. He might have even given his left kidney for it. You only needed one of them to function anyways, right? He ignored the pressure in his chest as he was asked a question. âAnything I want, huh? Let me think a minute.â Oh great, at least John was letting him choose his form of torture. Which reminder did he want sitting in his room of how much the feeling wasnât there with them? Why had he spent hours carefully researching flowers before? It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Roses were definitely out. Even though he was almost sure John knew shit about flower meanings, no one (even if they seemed to be as romantically stupid as he was) didnât know their romantic symbolism. And he wasnât about to let John feed him more bullshit then he already had. He wouldnât be able to take that, too. Carnations symbolized longevity, and they lasted longer than most other flowers. That was out, he didnât want a long torture after all. Irises and orchids were also out. Irises were fascination and orchids displayed beauty and seduction. Definitely not orchids, heâd had enough seduction jokes for one day.
Lilacs and Lilies? Letâs see, lilacs were supposed to melt the heart, and lilies displayed the true emotions of love. Both were definitely not options. Tulips would almost be worse than roses, being a true symbol of âperfect loveâ. No way in hell. His eyes rested on a selection of gardenia flowers. Secret love. Perfect. Though this reminder would make him remember it wouldnât be secret for long, it was better than dealing with any of the other types. âMaybe some of those, if you still think you want to,â he said, making a motion towards them. Would it be too weird if he knew them by name? Probably. He just wanted out of the shop as quickly as possible so they could finish this train wreck and he could go back and try and pick up the pieces later.
John: buy flowers
Hahaha, Karkat looked looked completely stunned. Getting him lost for words was always great fun, and making a completely inappropriate allusion to a three way between them and Dave had been totally worth it for the look on his face. John wished he could take a picture. Screw it, he was taking a picture. âDate documentation,â he declared, whipping out his phone and taking a snapshot before Karkat could object. It was a little blurry, but it worked.Â
âAnd good, Dave can stay out of our hot sex, then. I donât know if Iâd be able to handle all that jealousy! I just want to keep you all to myself, hehehe.â John could just keep on joking about stuff stuff all day, in all honesty. It was so funny, even if the Dave part was kind of gross.Â
âMore like the only kiss youâve ever had!â John laughed, before remembering again that shit, that actually had been his first kiss. Maybe he should reassure him about that? âYou know that I donât think you have to count that as a first, right? I mean, it was like the briefest kiss ever. People kiss family like that aaaaaall of the time.â John wasnât sure whether he personally counted it or not. It didnât really matter, right? Heâd kissed Karkat at one party and kissed Vriska a bit more properly at another, and neither of them had really meant anything special. Who cared, really? Theyâd both been nice enough and he kind of wouldnât mind kissing Karkat again, but that was beside the point.Â
Karkat wasnât going for roses, then. John had totally planned to default to them if Karkat couldnât make a decision. Most romantic flower, after all. Perfect for dates! LOL. But yeah, those white ones looked pretty enough. Cheaper, too. Not as if it really mattered, since it wasnât his money. He grabbed a bouquet of them and paid, before handing them to his friend once they go out of the store. âThere you go, dude. Almost as gorgeous as you,â he sniggered.Â
KARKAT: TRY TO RUSH
Oh, he did not just take a picture of that attractive face he was making. Yet after a swift grab and a few seconds, he saw his phone was once again being pocketed, and Karkat did his best to make a normal face again. âDate documentationâ his ass. Of course John would probably laugh to himself about this picture for ages. Shit. Heâd been getting ready to complain about it, and what do you know? He actually continued that joke! And it couldnât have gotten worse, right? Wrong! It had gotten almost exponentially worse. Heâd thought naked John was the worst thing he could have on his mind. Nope, sexy time with John was definitely above that. A whole other scale. His face probably looked like an overly ripened tomato at this point, and if he saw John pull that phone out again he would make it slam dunk into the pavement. âWell thatâs good, because I wasnât planning on sharing you anyways,â he nearly choked out, wishing he could just yank out his own vocal cords for a while. Why was he still talking? John, just drop it.
Fuck, had it been that obvious he was worrying about the kiss thing? And wow, he was even going to let it slide that it didnât count? That was perf- wait, no it wasnât. If he did that, then that would make Vriska his first kiss! And there was no way in hell heâd let that happen. Shit, now he really did regret not making it more meaningful. That stupid kiss with Vriska had lasted longer, and sheâd had time to reciprocate, too! What had he done? He had scrunched up his lips and smashed them together for half a second and then he had gotten the fuck out of there. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Karkat, youâre an idiot. Why couldnât there be another way?He just wished he could do it for real, for a chance to redo it. That was allowed under the circumstances right? Not that John would ever agree to it. âIt definitely counted, John. Remember what I said? Any type counts, whether itâs a peck like mine, or one that lasts few seconds. So that shit I pulled counted. Sorry that I pretty much fucked up your first kiss. Like I said, I kind of panicked.â
He stared hard at the bouquet that was thrust into his hands hard for a moment. This felt weird, getting them and getting a completely off-handed and false comment. Had the sniggering really been necessary? He felt a weird pang of happiness and sadness shoot through his chest as he looked at them. Gorgeous his ass. There wasnât really anything remotely attractive about him, he was no comparison to the bright flowers, really. He didnât know how much more of this abuse his heart could take. âWhy thank you. Iâm so glad you got them for me,â he laughed, holding the flowers tightly with one hand, ânow let me make it up to you. Let me pick that movie out for you.â After that theyâd have a quick stroll through the park, and it would be done. That end couldnât come soon enough.
John: resist urge to ask for a kiss
âGreat, weâre in agreement then. Iâm all yours. Yours and only yours.â John put a hand to his forehead and mimed swooning, beaming at Karkat. Pfft, his friend was actually pretty red in the face. He guessed that he could quit with the sexy jokes, maybe. Just for now.Â
And wow, shit Karkat actually sounded like he was being totally serious now. âSo according to your definition, we were totally each otherâs first kiss?â John could live with that. He didnât exactly care, anyway. First kisses werenât that important. He knew Karkat attacked a whole load of significance to it though, so he did still feel kind of bad. But if Karkat was going to count that anyway, that did mean heâd used up his all-important first kiss. Did that mean any subsequent kisses were fair game? Would it be weird to ask? âHey, it wasnât completely fucked up! Sure, it could have been a bit lengthier, but it was pretty okay?â Oh god what was he saying? He needed to stay casual about this. âMaybe that can be another thing you make for later, hahaha.â Was he actually implying that he wanted to kiss Karkat again? Looked like he was. Shit, he hoped that didnât that come off as a proposition.
Not that he meant anything romantic by it? You know, kissing Vriska had been no serious issue! John was a firm believer that kisses didnât have to mean shit. Heâd just decided they were kind of fun? It wouldnât hurt to kiss Karkat again, just for the hell of it. Not for him, anyway. He thought Karkat probably wouldnât be so comfortable with the idea, though. Somehow.Â
âHeh, it was nothing, my dearest. So. Weâll go do that movie buying now, then?â He walked along lightly, not viewing the whole flower exchange with any sort of seriousness. John wasnât really viewing any of this with seriousness, after all! He did think Karkat looked kind of nice holding them, though. Could something you carried suit you?Â
Luckily they made it to the video shop pretty fast. Karkat seemed to be walking faster than usual. Huh. He pushed open the shop door, looking around for the section that was for selling (rather than the usual renting).Â
KARKAT: PICK A MOVIE
Karkat forced a smile and a laugh at the gesture, but he was finally able to refrain himself from any more comments on the matter. Thank god. Instead he worked on resuming a regular breathing pattern in order to clear away this embarrassing flush. At least John hadnât mentioned it out loud. How would he have been able to play it off?
âYeah, I guess it turned out that way,â he acknowledged, doing his best not to say much else on the matter. He wanted to make a snide remark in order to hide his real feelings about it, but so far snide remarks about this situation had only led to problems. That, and he didnât want to feel like a complete liar. Just saying less about it would be better. Wow, and John was still trying to reassure him about the whole thing? Was he doing that just so he could feel better, or because he actually felt like it wasnât that bad? The laughing certainly didnât help to ease his confusion. How exactly was he supposed to take that? How was he supposed to respond? Had he just tried to illicit another kiss from him, or was it a joke? Dammit John, couldnât you at least be clear on a subject as sensitive as this? âOh yes, that makes me feel so much better, thanks. Knowing it was only half-assed fucking up makes it that much better,â he laughed, deciding it best to go the joking option for now. If it wasnât supposed to be one, hopefully John would bring it up again. âWell, maybe I can. I did say Iâd do anything to make up for earlier, didnât I?â Shit, was that sounding too eager now? He was really bad at this subtlety thing.
âOf course, lovely. I need to get you a gift to show how much I appreciate you too,â He couldnât resist adding the sarcasm to the pet name, even though he was sure the joke was heavily implied already. He continued trailing along behind him, keeping the flowers clutched to his chest. He absentmindedly looked down at them, sighing. If he didnât put much water in the vase, maybe theyâd wither quicker. As much as he really wanted to keep them as long as he could, he just couldnât wake up every morning, spotting them sitting opposite on his desk, knowing that there wasnât anything there but just, well, flowers. No real or emotional significance whatsoever.
He entered the Blockbuster behind John, making a beeline for the âbuyâ section of the store. Hopefully they would have something decent enough to gift him with, anyways. There were a lot of choices. Should he get him something soppy and laugh about it when he watched it? Should he get something with a little bit more significance? Something that applied to his situation? A lot of those films were ones they had already seen, though. He wanted it to be something different. Oh, hey. One of them caught his eye. He lifted it to inspect it, nodding slightly with approval. A Lot Like Love. Tagline, thereâs nothing better than a great romance to ruin a perfectly good friendship. Though he was assuming that meant good things in the movie, it applied in the reverse connotation to his situation, he thought. He maneuvered his way over to John, holding it out a bit unceremoniously. âThis is for you, John. I hope you will accept this token from me, and appreciate it.â He probably should have bought it first, but you know. John had all of the money.
John: pick the perfect movie
âYou guess so?â Shit, Karkat considered his all-important first kiss a huge fuck up. John felt sort of guilty. Maybe he should have objected more strongly instead of going along with it all? It wasnât his dare, after all. If heâd made enough of a fuss he definitely could have got them out of it. Wow, he was basically the most horrible friend ever. Just because he didnât really care, that didnât mean Karkat didnât. It was obvious Karkat cared a whole lot. Fuck. âSorry, dude. I mean, you were probably hoping for it to be with somebody you actually liked, right? I ought to have protested or something.âÂ
But hey, âmaybe I canâ ? Karkat actually sounded like he might actually be a little receptive. Though his tone was completely joking, so it was impossible to say for sure. But he seemed at least open to the idea? It probably hadnât helped that John had thrown the suggestion out there in a pretty casual, joking way to begin with, had it? âYup, you totally did say that. Anything.â Pfft, that just sounded really suggestive. Looked like the dumb sexy jokes werenât stopping any time soon, after all? John just couldnât seem to help himself. âMaybe Iâll take you up on that later, if youâre lucky.â In these kind of conditions, there were simply too many opportunities to make comments like that. Though John was at least partially serious on the idea of taking his friend up on the offer. If it was at least a partially serious offer.Â
âOoooh, whoâs lovely? The flowers, or me?â he asked, quirking an eyebrow. He was pretty sure that was Karkat returning the ironic pet naming, but it could just as easily refer to the flowers, he guess? They were rather lovely. He vaguely wondered what Dave would think of Karkat putting flowers up in their room. Assuming he kept them, of course. He might just throw them away after all this was over?Â
John looked absentmindedly through the shelves, unsure as to whether he should get Karkat a movie he thought looked good, or one he knew Karkat would like. He briefly considered buying him another romance film starring Nic Cage, determined to convert him to the way of Cageism, before another title caught his eye. It was in the horror section of the store, but it was very obviously not a horror movie. He guessed some smartass worker had put it there as a joke? The film looked fucking terrible. Look at that cover. A romantic musical starring Mariah Carey? With a name like Glitter? Oh god, it was going to be complete garbage. And Karkat would almost definitely love it. It was perfect.Â
He took the DVD Karkat had handed him, looking at it skeptically. A Lot Like Love? Looked pretty lame. Another romance. Although knowing Karkat, it might not be so bad. It didnât look all that funny, though. Nor was it starring any of their favorites. He went to go pay (with Vriskaâs money again, of course) and then passed Karkat the film. âOkay, here you go, Karkat. Picked out just for you.â Wow, they must have looked so gay picking out those particular movies. Then again, they were also a couple of teenage boys one of whom was carrying flowers who kept whispering things to each other and laughing. The girly movie choice was the least of their worries, hahaha. âRight then! Shall we head to the park?âÂ
KARKAT: PREPARE NERVES
Karkat had to bite his tongue from fully admitting that he had kissed the person heâd wanted to. There would be no digging himself out of that hole. Quick, focus on the other part of the question and hope he doesnât notice the obvious dodging. âYeah, I guess so, but thatâs not the main problem. I just want the first kiss to be memorable, you know? Not just âboom!â then done. That was definitely not how Iâd pictured my first kiss going at all. But Iâve got no one to blame for that problem than myself, I suppose.â And it was true. He didnât want John trying to take any blame, even if he hadnât really protested. He hadnât been the one to smash their faces together, after all.
So wait, did that mean he really wanted to do it again? Or was it still a joke? Ugh, he hated trying to figure this out. Quick, just finish it off with one more joke and hope he would get the hint and drop it. âJust be sure to let me know if you decide to take it up,â he laughed, hoping the topic was done. He just wanted to move on, and he would hope that Johnâs incredible storage of density wouldnât have picked up on anything. He had pretty much admitted to wanting another shot at kissing him again, but hadnât John done the same? He was pretty sure theyâd both similarly said âLetâs redo that kissâ in a really roundabout way, but he knew better then to think that. It could just easily been another stupid joke on Johnâs part.
âBoth, obviously,â he chuckled, actually giving a small genuine smile. What was he even smiling about? If he thought about it, there wasnât much of a reason to at all. Maybe it was just because heâd said the tiniest true thing without completely trying to cover it up? He didnât know anymore.
He took a log hard look at the movie John had held out to him. He shifted the flowers slightly so he could hold them both with one arm, the bouquet resting comfortably in the crook of it while he held the DVD in his newly freed hand. Glitter? He flipped it over, reading the quick synopsis on the back. It didnât actually seem too terrible, heâd been sure John would try to force one of his stupid action flicks, or another McConaughey film on him. This was a bit surprising. He tucked it under his arm, getting a better hold on the flowers once that was completed. Â
Oh shit, there was nothing left to stall heading to the park. And it still wasnât even that far away. Fuck, what was he going to do? Drag his feet? No, no. He was trying to get this over as quickly as possible, wasnât he? Dragging his feet was obviously not much of an option if that was the case. He exited the movie store with John, glancing down the street towards the park before looking back at him. âYeah, letâs get going.â It was almost over, Karkat. Shit, what if his hand started getting sweaty when they were holding them? What if it inexplicably dried out instead? Come on, things were hard enough without thinking that. Your hands will be fine, Karkat.
John: hold hands
Wow, that had sounded pretty serious! John had been assuming the person in question was the main problem. Was it honestly just that itâd been such an unremarkable kiss in general? If that was the case, it kind of sounded like theyâd both been a tad disappointed for the same reasons. âYeah, that makes sense. I kind of share the feeling, I guess?â Okay, theyâd both just admitted to wanting a bit more out of that kiss. Pretty explicitly, too. Though whether Karkat was actually serious about giving it another shot remained to be seen. That hadnât exactly been a line of conversation heâd been expecting to crop up. Maybe theyâd better drop it for now. âIâll be sure to, hahaha.â
âBoth, hey? Heh, quite the charmer, Karkat. But which is lovelier?â They walked side by side, and it felt like they reached the park really quickly. It wasnât exactly a huge or a beautiful one; mostly just grass with a few trees and benches  scattered around. There was a playground at the other end, which John immediately decided they were totally visiting. Playgrounds were the shit, seriously. He didnât care how old he was, they were great fun and kind of nostaligic in a nice way.
Oh, right, this meant they had to get on with the whole hand-holding thing, didnât it? John had been thinking it wasnât that big a deal, like he did with most of the stuff on the pseudo-date, but suddenly this did seem like kind of a big deal. But man, how was he supposed to do this? Lightly brush the side of his hand with his own until the other boy took the hint and their hands hind of clasped naturally? No way, that was what they usually went for in movies, but that was for like, trying to be subtle and send little signs and all that jazz. Holding hands was part of the criteria here, he could afford to be just be direct.
He swapped the bag containing the movie into his right hand, and held his left out to Karkat. âHahahaha, okay. So. This is the part where we hold hands, huh? Haha. Come on then, take my hand, I guess?â There, that way the rest was up to Karkat.Â
KARKAT: DEBATE HOW TO GRAB HAND
âWhich is lovelier? Great question, though the answer is obvious, asshole. You are much more attractive than any stupid flower,â he replied, only half joking. He batted his eyelashes once or twice for effect, chortling along with his reply. There was no way heâd mention anything. Good thing the flowers were white and not blue, or he would have been tempted to compare them to his eyes. How come he had to be so likable? He usually didnât have a problem having problems with people, but as hard as he tried he couldnât find a reason to dislike John. Aside from his stupid âno homo!â thing that he non-explicitly tacked onto just about everything they did together. He definitely despised that part.
Shit, there was the park. He lingered for just a few moments outside of the gate, falling a couple of steps behind John as his mind and heart raced. This was it. This was it, they were going into the park. They were going to hold hands. And knowing his luck, John would make stupid and unknowing insensitive jokes the whole time. Each beat of his heart felt like a stab through the chest as he started his feet again, taking a few more moments to catch up to him. They passed through the entrance, and he took a look around. Thankfully, the park didnât appear to be anything fancy or special. He caught sight of a playground down at the other end, but didnât really pay much mind to it. Would he mind going to it? Not at all. But there was only one thing on his mind right now.
John was suddenly speaking to him, okay. He managed to snap out of his thoughts long enough to see him extend his hand towards him. Fuck, this is it. Thereâs the hand. Better take it, Karkat. He just stared at if for a good few moments, having an internal debate. How should he grab it? There were a lot of different approaches. Should he go for the stiff grab and just sort of let him wrap his fingers around his hand while it stayed straight? Should they just hook pinkies? Should he entwine their fingers together? He could feel his breathing hitch slightly as he adjusted the things in his left arm, very slowly reaching his hand up. Oh fuck it, just do it and stop stalling! He quickly closed the distance and grabbed his hand, deciding to go for the most mild and normal sort of hand holding as he could. He stared at them for a moment, marveling a little at how warm his hand was in his. It felt a lot different than he had thought it might, a lot more natural. It feltâŠ.nice. And thank god, his hand wasnât starting to get sweaty or anything else stupid like that. He took a deep breath, glancing back up at Johnâs face again. âWell, there we go. Letâs get on with it then,â he breathed, giving a smile again. Wow, why was he smiling so much when the rest of him was in pain? Right, that reminder that kept floating above him: Enjoy this while you can, Karkat.
John: proceed with stroll
John grinned at the âcomplimentâ. Could you even call it that if it was obviously joking, and you were being addressed as âassholeâ that same line? Bizarrely enough, the âassholeâ part of it felt more affectionate than the rest, anyway. After all, Karkat would never seriously describe John as attractive, yet casual insults were a regular thing with him. And John always thought there was a kind of fond sentiment behind most of them? At any rate, he was hardly offended by his words.Â
He watched Karkat grab onto his hand quietly, actually not being able to think of a quip for once. John hadnât held hands with another person since he was young, and it was kind of an unfamiliar sensation! Not a bad one though. It was kind of pleasant in a really simple way? Warm and stuff. A bit like a hug, but more practical. That was an odd way to word it, but it made sense to him.
He grinned at Karkat. âYup, there we go. That is definitely hand holding, right here.â Keeping a clasp on Karkatâs, he held their hands up so that he could quickly take another picture. That ought to keep Vriska happy. It was actually a good thing Vriska had made this compulsory, because it was pretty nice even if it was totally platonic. He wondered vaguely if Rose or Jadeâs hand felt as nice as this. He wasnât gonna hold hands with Dave, obviously, because that would be really gay. This was pretty gay too, but heâd been paid to do it so it was sort of different. Not that he minded even at all. It was nice.
John started walking first, beginning this âstroll.â Huh, they were being sort of quiet, John just glancing at him a few times and giving him a small smile if they made eye contact. Hmm, he should probably think up a new conversation topic. He resisted the urge to just ask âwhat are you thinking about?â because if there was anything heâd learned from How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days it was that that was a dumbass question to ask on a date. âSo, uh. If you could be any animal what would you be?â Hahaha, heâd been reading too many of those tumblr question things, that totally sounded like something out of one of them.Â
KARKAT: QUESTION THE QUESTION
Karkatâs smile had still been plastered on his face when John had snapped the picture, though it swiftly disappeared afterwards. Right, Vriska probably needed evidence of this, too. Heâd been starting to feel a little better about this, so of course he needed another reminder that this was pretty much all for show stuffed right under his nose. Any time he started to feel like heâd be okay something else would come along and shit on his mood again and again. And he had the feeling in the pit of his stomach it would keep on happening.
Oh man, they were actually moving now. They were holding hands, and they were walking in the park. It was almost everything heâd dreamed of on a date. He had flowers, having a romantic stroll through a park, were holding hands, and every time he caught John looking at him and smiling despite the mixture of happiness and despair that surged through his head his mouth just softly curled upward in response to each grin. Jesus, look at him. What the hell was he doing? He was like the protagonist in all of his worst romcoms. Here with the person he liked, grinning like a fucking idiot, and yet they were still so unreachable. Like trying to reach for a star when lying outside during the summer; light years away. He absentmindedly gripped his hand the tiniest bit tighter, as if he were afraid he really would become suddenly thrust out of his reach. Not like he was technically within it, anyways.
He nearly choked trying to stifle his laugh at the question. Was that really the best small talk he could come up with? With as smooth as he was on a regular basis, he nearly couldnât believe heâd heard him right. What animal did he want to be? That definitely wouldnât fly. âHoly shit, John, was that really the best you could come up with? That was pathetic! Have you not been paying any attention to any of my films?â he replied, probably the best and most honest smile of the night spreading on his face, âIf you wanted to use a good one, you should have asked me if I liked cheese.â Though he shouldnât be taking quotes from Sheâs The Man of all movies (he really identified with that one), he couldnât help himself. At that point the laughter heâd been holding back came out, and for the first time that night he was starting to feel legitimately happy again. None of those fake smiles or laughs, it was all completely genuine.
John: recall romcoms wisdom
He thought he felt Karkatâs hand tightening around his own a little. Had he imagined that? It was probably his imagination. Regardless, he gave his hand a light squeeze in return. At least Karkat looked happy enough, even if it was only occasionally that John looked at him. He wouldnât want to just stare a him like a total creeper for the whole walk. Or was that what couples were supposed to do? Staring into each others eyes and all that. John couldnât say he minded the prospect of staring at Karkatâs eyes for a while, since heâd meant it when he told Karkat they were fantastic that one night. Still, he didnât expect just gazing at each other to be something that flew.
John felt a little fed up that his question had gone unanswered, but that was totally made up for by the fact that Karkat seemed to find it really funny. Making Karkat laugh was always nice. âUgh, I was just trying to make conversation that did not just consist of pick up lines and flirting!â he protested, âsince half the day has basically just been that. Heheheh. But that cheese line? Pick ups and flirting. I even put in in your askbox that one time, remember? So itâs also a line Iâve used on you before! Unacceptable. Besides, usually when we hang out thereâs a bit more to talk about. The movies usually serve as a conversation point, if nothing else.â
He shrugged, thinking back to the many exciting small talks in movies. First dates in the flicked theyâd watched usually consisted of the couple telling each other about themselves. What they were doing with their lives (Failure to Launch), plans for the future (How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days), opinions on love (Serendipity) and so on. Him and Karkat already knew most of those things about each other. It wasnât as if there was a lot to get to know! âFine, fine. Tell me something about yourself I donât know yet! Or better, tell me something about you that hardly anybody knows.â If Karkat wasnât willing to chat about meaningless bullshit, John was going to pester him into talking about something interesting. Besides, John was  remarkably curious when he came to Karkat. He wanted to know every little detail about him, if possible.Â
KARKAT: WHAT TO SAY?
Oh shit, had John just applied a bit more pressure to their hand holding? He hadnât realized that his own grip had tightened, so it was a little startling to him. Instead of loosely hanging onto his hand like he had been, it was pretty much legitimate hand holding now, and it felt even nicer than it had before. More warmth, more contact, almost more feeling. Maybe he could let himself indulge on this a little bit, enjoy it. Not like heâd get this wonderful opportunity again. His fingers slid the tiniest in an instinct to intertwine with his, but he stopped them before they got too far and shifted them back to their previous spot. Heâd let himself enjoy it, but not quite that much. He was sure heâd get questioned and chewed out for going that far.
âIf you wanted to avoid those things, Iâm still sure you could have come up with something better. I mean, âwhat animal would I want to beâ? Thatâs pretty much elementary bullshit right there,â he was still laughing, but it slowly died down when John decided to ask him another question. Tell him something about himself that no one really knew? Perfect groundwork to tell him how you feel, Karkat. Timing is perfect, right? Fuck no. This would be the worst timing in the world. He would have just gone on an entire fake date with him, just to say he didnât think it was? Do you know what that could do to him? Do you know what that could do to you? That confession was definitely not happening today.
 But then what could he say? John already knew more about him than most people did, and that was saying something. What else could he tell him? Maybe he could mention his condition. That was something not anyone at the school should know about, anyways. But there was a reason for that. He was incredibly insecure about it, and he was afraid people might start talking like they had at his old school. But he figured that John wouldnât think too much of it at least. And he wasnât likely to spread it around, right? If he did, he could just find a way to get back at him later.
âWell, I guess thereâs one thing that a lot of people donât explicitly know, anyways,â he started, shifting the things in his left arm so he could pull his phone out. He cycled through a few options before he made it to the pictures, and he once again went scrolling before he held his phone out with his free hand. Heâd rather risk dropping the things in that arm than letting go of his hand. âSee that kid there? That was me a few years ago.â The picture was one of a white-haired boy sitting with his mother, the boy pouting slightly while the woman smiled. Looks like it was a good thing his dad had sent him a few old pictures after all. âWhiteâs my natural hair color. There, something that not many people know at all.â He slipped the phone back into his pocket, readjusting the thing in his arm comfortable once he had done so.Looking at his eyes, some people could probably guess still, but heâd never actually said it to anyone. He was nervous about what John might say, but he didnât show it on his face. âAnd since I told you that, you have to tell me something about yourself too.â He was sure that John wasnât really hiding any deep dark secrets, but he liked to learn new things about him as well.
John: try not to coo
Heh, this whole thing really was pretty comfortable. Maybe he should hold onto peopleâs hands more often? Or would that be too weird? He figured it was the sort of thing Jade would be fine with, at least. âBluh, fine. I think Iâve just read one too many of those internet questionnaire things! Next I will be asking you what superpower you would have, where your dream holiday destination would be, and maybe if you are lucky Iâll ask you about your favorite color?â
John looked at the picture with interest. That was Karkat? He could kind of see it actually, what with that facial expression and all. âOmg Karkat, look at you. You were the cutest kid ever. Is that your mom?â was his initial comment, before he realized he was supposed to be commenting on the hair rather than how adorable he thought Karkat was. Right, right.
âWell, I guess that makes sense. What with those eyes of yours and stuff. Itâs not a big deal, though. I mean, while hair can be pretty cool. All those mysterious and cool anime characters have it.â Wow, that was probably a completely stupid reaction, but John wasnât sure what to say about it. The fact that he didnât care should go without saying. Like John gave a damn about Karkat being albino. That was what it was called, right? It explained why his skin was so pale too, he guessed. Karkat seemed like he thought it was a pretty big deal, though. Like, he obviously went out of his way to hide the fact. So John was kind of flattered that he was willing to share it. âHey wait, is that what people pick on you about at elementary school, then?â
Oh, hmm. He had to say something about himself too. He wasnât sure what to reveal, Karkat knew like, everything about him. Hell, most people knew everything about him. John was like an open book. He was such an open book that like, all the pages were laid out for all to see. Did that metaphor work? John sucked at metaphors.Â
âHaha, well. You know a whole ton of stuff about me anyway. But uh⊠I never actually had any close friends at my old schools? I had plenty of people Iâd joke about with and hang out with at lunch, it wasnât like I was disliked or anything, but I never had friends come home or anything? My first real friend was Jade. i donât think Iâd even be able to make friends if it werenât for her.â Pfft, that probably wasnât what Karkat had wanted to hear, but it was something? He didnât remember mentioning it before, anyway.Â
KARKAT: COMMENCE EMBARRASMENT
Karkat had just been expecting comments about his hair, and he was taken sort of aback at his compliments about his cuteness. Though of course, he should have expected that anyways. People always commented about how kid pictures were cute, but hearing him say that was still a little flustering. Accepting compliments had always been hard in normal circumstances, but any praise offered to him from John magnified it tenfold.
He puffed out his cheeks a little, face almost perfectly imitating the pout of his youth, âYeah, thatâs my mom. And shut up, I wasnât that cute,â he grumbled, glad heâd put the picture away quickly enough. Maybe he should have just said it instead of backing it up with photographic evidence. Hindsight, Karkat. Youâll remember for next time.
âOf course. Because I want to be exactly like one of those anime characters, how did you know?â he made a face but he couldnât help the smile that had begun so crawl out again. So John really didnât mind it? It definitely didnât sound like he thought it was weird or anything. Though heâd expected it a bit, it was very reassuring to him. Oh, shit, that was right. Heâd mentioned that one night, hadnât he?And he recalled heâd promised to tell him about it at some point, so he figured that now was as good of a time as any. Though he still thought it was a little weird that John had remembered that so quickly. Oh well. âYeah, I guess that was what they teased me about. But it really wasnât a big deal, okay? And it wasnât really so much picking on me then it was commenting about it behind my back. But whatever, thatâs ancient history, okay?â With that, he just wanted to drop the subject. It didnât bother him much at all anymore, it was true, but it still felt weird talking about it.
Wow, really? Karkat was actually fairly surprised to hear that he hadnât had any particularly close friends in school. With his seemingly natural charm and his fun and exciting nature, he was sure that heâd probably had a lot of good friends before. âWow, really? I honestly had no idea at all. But youâve at least made a lot of good friends here, right?â He was pretty sure that was the case, but he just wanted to double check. He really didnât want John to be having any problems like that, especially while he was around. He gave his hand a sort of reassuring squeeze, thinking that had been the appropriate time to do so.
John: reflect
âCome on, youâre pretty damn cute,â John insisted, brain barely registering the fact that heâd just slipped into present tense there. âWeâre talking almost Casey level amounts of adorable, here.â He gave him a light poke in one his puffed-out cheeks teasingly. Karkat kind of did look adorable when he did that, actually. It might be his favorite expression of Karkatâs?Â
âYou should show me your other kiddie pictures if you have any, I totally want to see middle school Karkat,â he grinned, before recalling a particularly cringe-worthy scene in How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days. âAnd you could maybe send me copies or your baby pictures? I can use photoshop to composite our faces and see what our kids would look like. Make us a family album!âÂ
âYou would be the best anime character, Karkat. Youâre kind of like one those girls from those anime romcom type deals who act all angry and bitchy but secretly have a heart of gold. I forget what theyâre called but they often have pigtails? The archetype fits you so well, LOL. Minus the pigtails. Although then again, white hair is usually reserved for the quiet, classy aloof types?â Why was John blathering on about this. He hardly even watched any anime. Apart from Sailor Moon. God, he loved Sailor Moon.
It was pretty awful that kids had used to tease Karkat over that, but John wasnât all that surprised. After all, kids liked to pick on things that were different. John had got a whole load of jokes made about his teeth, some good-natured, some not so much. If it came up in conversation heâd usually play it down, since he wouldnât exactly call it bullying, but it was kind of a sensitive subject regardless.
âYouâd be surprised! I was kind of shy for a long time when I was a really little kid? And it made making friends difficult.â He had to admit, he didnât find it a very attractive character trait himself, he never knew quite how to behave around overly shy people. âThen later on I was more of a class clown than anyoneâs actual friend? A mildly nerdy class clown, haha. People liked me enough, but I donât think I was ever all that close to them. It is a bit of a stretch to say I didnât have friends, but I sure did not have the type I do now.â
Karkat squeezing his hand came as a bit of a surprise, but he squeezed back with a grin. âYeah, Iâve got lots of good friends here! I was finally able to meet my three best friends ever in person, and I am pretty friendly with a whole bunch of new people, too. Me and Vriska are really close! And thereâs you, of course. Iâve never had a friend quite like you.â This was true. John felt attached to Karkat in kind of a different way to his other friends in a way he couldnât quite put his finger on. It was kind of an intense sort of friendship!
KARKAT: LOOSEN UP
And here he was, still insisting on it. Jesus, had he just compared him to Casey? Not only that, but he was using the wrong tense. He definitely meant past. âAnd I think your head is Nic Cage-level stupid,â he retorted, scoffing slightly, âyou need a stronger prescription for those glasses, idiot. I donât think you saw the picture quite right.â As much as he wanted to just sit down and accept the compliment, that was always hard for him to do. Especially right now. Instead, rebutting him with a few choice words instead.
Yeah, his head definitely wasnât screwed on quite right at the moment. He still wanted to see more of them? Maybe this hand holding was secretly cutting the circulation off to his brain. Not that it ever seemed to get enough blood. âIâve got more, but if you want to see them youâll have to show me a couple of you in return,â he wagered, laughing at his reference to the âFamily Albumâ. âThough Iâve honestly only got one baby picture, so good luck with that. Fuck, could you imagine how messed up those kids would be?â If it had been earlier in the day, he might have gotten upset or slightly hurt by the comment. He was implying some sort of future that the two of them were definitely not likely to have. But since he was still allowing himself to indulge on this date, he figured that there was no point in getting worked up over little things right now.
He hadnât seen a whole lot of anime (High School Host Club was the only one that came to the forefront in his mind), but he knew exactly what he was referring to. He didnât really act like one of those anime heroines, did he? He had these feelings, and he hid them behind smarmy comments and rude gestures. And yet, when he was alone, heâd allow himself to pine away as often as he wanted to. Shit, maybe he was more like them than he thought! Heâd have to search out a couple who had these archetype characters and study what they did. They usually got the guy in the end, didnât they? He was putting way too much thought into this. âWell, maybe I would just be one of those bitchy and angry aloof types who just took a little poking at to get to open up. And then Iâd still be bitchy but a little bit nicer about it.â
Well, heâd expected the class clown gag of course, but he still thought it was really surprising that no one had tried to be better friends with him. Didnât people usually want to befriend the class clown, even if just for the sole fact that they were gut-bustingly hilarious? And feeling that returning squeeze along with that last line made his heart skip a beat. Never had a friend quite like him? What did he mean by that? This type of line usually ended a few minutes later in a love confession, if his rom coms had taught him anything. Not like he didnât already know he didnât mean it like that. Despite this, thoughts of their next possible kiss slowly started to filter into his mind again, and as much as he tried to push them out they just kicked his common sense out the window. He absentmindedly bit his lower lip for a moment, shamelessly hoping heâd bring it up again before the end of their walk. âWell, those other kids didnât know what they were missing. I guess Iâve never really had a friend quite like you, either.â That was probably a mild understatement on his part. Ugh, why was he getting so mushy?
John: drag karkat to playground
âIâm going to take that as a compliment, since Nic Cage is basically the most badass and awesome dude ever. Just accept my praise and quit your whining. I am beginning to think youâre just trying to goad me into saying more. Well, Iâm not going to launch into a dissertation on your cuteness or anything, so you can think again. Iâm just saying youâre a total cutie, and that is all there is to say on the subject.â He gave another satisfied nod, resisting the urge to grab onto his cheeks and squish them about. Thatâd be kind of difficult to do while holding hands!Â
Wait, pictures of him? John didnât exactly have any on his phone like Karkat seemed to. There were a few on his laptop, though. âIâll show you when we get back, then? I do not have them on me right now. Come on, just show me the pictures! I wonât laugh at any of them.â This was a lie, since he would probably laugh at at least one of them, but whatever. âAnyway, Iâm sure our kids wouldnât look any worse than that devilspawn Andi created, even if theyâre ugly as hell.âÂ
John wasnât sure about this, Karkat seemed like the violent and brash type rather than the snarky and aloof one. âHmmm, maybe! I canât imagine you ever opening up to the extent that youâd quit being bitchy altogether. That would just be terrible anyway. You wouldnât be the same Karkat that we all know and love, you know?â Heh, Karkatâs angry moments were definetely hilarious, and sort of endearing, too. It was no real wonder John enjoyed winding him up, and took almost as much pleasure in watching others doing the same.Â
He paused for a second, feeling the usual momentary confusion over what Karkat replied. Receiving heartfelt compliments like that was always kind of weird to him, and he was almost always not sure how to respond at first. âHehehe, wow. Really? Thatâs pretty nice to know, I think!âÂ
They were reaching the other end of the park now, and it was starting to get dark, but John wasnât ready to leave just yet. âHey, Karkat? We should totally go into the playground and go on the swings and stuff. Playgrounds are kickass. Itâll be fun.â He was trying to be as insistent as possible, already having hedged his bets on Karkat refusing and declaring playgrounds were for kids, and tugged him by the hand in that general direction.Â
KARKAT: GO TO THE PARK
âAlright, alright. Iâll stop bitching about it. Just stop mentioning it, got it? Thanks, I guess,â he laughed, glad that he hadnât started listing off anything else. That would have made it hard for him to resist starting his own list in return. And if he did that, he might start spilling things he definitely wasnât ready to yet.
âOkay, but Iâll be expecting to see these pictures then. I wonât let you forget,â he noted, sighing as he shifted everything to pull his phone out again. Why hadnât his father emailed him these? Whatever, might as well show him the rest and let him get the laughter out of his system now. He got back to the pictures, showing him a couple more. One was of him with his uncle and a few other family members, he was sitting at the head of a table in front of a cake. Definitely a birthday party, and he was actually smiling just a little in this one. He flicked to another of him asleep, head resting on his motherâs lap. A final picture was more recent (his hair had been dyed by this point, but it was still about two years older), it was zoomed in on him from a band concert, bassoon and all. âOkay, there you go. Happy?â He once again pocked the cellular device and couldnât hold back a laugh as he recalled the scene from the movie. âI can agree with that at least.â
Okay, there was definitely something wrong with him. John actually thought it was one of his good traits that he was an asshole? It was a big part of him, he supposed, but still. âGood thing for you then, asshat, because thatâs not about to change that anytime soon,â he chuckled, and it was true. It definitely wasnât his most admirable trait, but it made him feel tough and confident which was what he wanted people to see him as.
He couldnât help but smile at the way John reacted to his compliment. He always seemed to be unable to handle comments very well, but he was much less subtle about it than Karkat was. At least he didnât constantly deny them though, taking them at face value. âLike Iâve told you before, I consider you to be my best friend and I really think everyone else would be lucky if they got to know you.â Continuing with the flattery, it seemed. He just wanted to get the point across and made sure John knew it, too. It felt like a good time to say it, even though he wanted to rephrase it heavily. Not going to happen. You were supposed to be enjoying this, right?
As they stopped, he eyed the park warily. What, they were going to play around on it? But that would mean theyâd have to let go of each otherâs hand, wouldnât it? He glanced down at them, still embracing each other, sighing softly. Doing things at the park would still be fun, right? Though it wouldnât be the same. And what if this was the last moment theyâd get to hold them like this? He waited for a few more moments, etching the feeling into his brain before pulling his hand slowly away, letting it rest at his side. âSure, since weâre here I guess it wouldnât hurt. I havenât been to a playground in ages, honestly.â The warmth gone, that connection severed. His empty hand hung limply at his side, and he quickly shifted his movie case into it to distract from the void feeling.
John: swing
John looked through the photographs with glee, doing his best to refrain from further comments about how adorable Karkat was (even though he kinda was) and focused on commenting on other aspects instead. âOh my god, youâre smiling. Youâre totally smiling. And look at your stupid birthday hat⊠Aww, who snapped a shot of you sleeping? I hope nobody has one of me sleeping, that would be so embarrassing⊠Your bassoon is way to big for you, dude. You look ridiculous.âÂ
Okay, this level of flattery coming from Karkat was ridiculous. He looked at the ground for a moment, wanting to scratch his arm for a second (this was a nervous habit he had, and he would definitely be doing it right now were it not for their joined hands) before managing to look up at the other boy. âThanks, Karkat. I mean it.â He really wanted to say more, to be able to respond that Karkat was his best friend too, but it wouldnât really be true. John already had three best friends, which was pushing it to begin with. Besides, the way he felt attached to Karkat was sort of different to any of them? Like heâd been thinking earlier, it was hard to put a finger on. It was probably just that Karkat was a newer friend, sort of like Vriska. And they were friends heâd made in-person, instead of ones he got to know online. Of course their relationships would be slightly different feeling?Â
He was mulling over this in his head when he felt Karkat pulling away from him. He felt vaguely offended for a second before remembering that of course, they were at a playground, you could hardly do this sort of thing whilst holding hands. Or maybe you could, but itâd probably be tricky and not worth the effort. âGreat, I hoping youâd agree. I donât really want to head back just yet? Besides, there are like, no kids here at all. It is a golden opportunity.â
He ran straight in the direction of the swings, climbing onto the one nearest. âCome on, get your ass over here. Iâve not been to one in quite a while, either! Especially not with another person. It feel like years since Iâve done this.â He kicked with his legs, trying to get the seat moving, and was surprised at how strong the swooping feeling in his stomach was. wow, it had really been too long. There was a tire swing in his front yard, but it wasnât as if he still used it. John was too big for it anyway.Â
KARKAT: JOIN IN
Karkat hadnât felt too embarrassed showing him the first picture, but all of these comments had his face burning again. He could see how excitedly John was pouring over them, and each new word of praise or each new taunt about his dorky birthday hat or how his bassoon was too big made his heart pump a little faster. God, with the way he was talking they were starting to sound almost like a legitimate couple. Pain and dismay gripped at the very edge of his feelings, but he was doing his best to keep it at bay. Heâd wallowed in it enough earlier and he was going to enjoy the last half of this date even if it killed him. And this threat seemed to lurk ever-closer on the horizon.
He seemed to get even more flustered with his next words, and it was really endearing seeing him at a light loss for words, because with John that didnât happen much at all. Usually it was the other way around, and it felt good to be the one to inflict the same status upon him as well.
âYeah, I donât spot any snot-nosed brats around. Weâve got the whole park to ourselves,â he replied, giving himself an inward smile when he realized John didnât want to head back yet. That meant he was having fun, right? That meant that his earlier screw-ups hadnât completely messed up the rest of the date, right? He hadnât offended him bad enough to make him want to leave yet? This definitely was a bit of a confidence booster for him as he found a spot to set the DVD and the flowers for the duration of their park visit. It wasnât very windy out at all, which meant he didnât have to worry about them blowing away.
âYeah, yeah, keep your panties on,â he laughed, jogging over to the swing set to join him, âI canât even remember the last time I was at a park like this.â And it was true. He wasnât very physically active, what reasons would he have had to go? He sat himself on the other swing, swaying forward and back using his legs with his toes still on the ground to test it a little. He kicked off and began to pump his legs softly, only swinging very low and not very high at all. He wasnât holding onto the chains with either hand, and was making sure to keep his balance as he moved back and forth very lightly. He had his arms out slightly, keeping a grip on the chains with the inside of his elbows instead. He was just going to take the swing thing slowly. He wouldnât start getting into it unless John wound up soaring far above him, and was using this opportunity more as a chance to rest his feet at the moment.
John: soar
âYup, isnât it great? I mean, kids are cute and all but this way we get our pick of all the equipment! And we have a bit more privacy, I guess,â it was always sort of awkward having small kids about when you were hanging out with friends. You had to watch what you said around them. Kids could be so shamelessly nosy, too. Bluh. Last thing they needed was some kid possibly sifting through the movies theyâd bought.Â
John started to swing higher, leaning backwards as the seat moved forwards and getting a bit of a kick out of the adrenaline. He didnât remember swings being this exciting. Maybe heâd just got old. Though then again, youâd think something as simple as their would get more boring, not more exciting? Haha, who cared. He was just glad they were still fun.Â
âYeah, me neither. Iâve been wanting to go to one again for ages. Theyâre so nostalgic and stuff.â John let himself come to a halt slowly, rocking gently on the seat for a few moments and just relaxing in the silence. It wasnât an awkward silence or anything, just a comfortable one. Kind of nice actually, when silences between the two of them were so incredibly rare.Â
Still, it didnât take long for John to get bored again. Getting up from the swing, he gave a quick stretch, before turning to pull Karkat up, too. Nope, Karkat wasnât getting a say in anything, he was just going to have to follow suit. âYou donât even swing properly, you know. Just sitting there like an old man, jeez. Anyway, get up off your ass. Weâre getting to the top of that climbing frame.â John made it sound like some kind of difficult mission they were taking on, but it really wasnât a very big one, and he was pretty sure getting up there would be simple. Man, these things always seemed so much bigger when he was a kid?Â
KARKAT: CLIMB
Yes, Karkat was much more concerned with the privacy perks of having the park to themselves rather than the choices problem. âNo kidding. At least this way we wonât get stuck on those stupid kid scoopers or something,â he chuckled in response, spotting a set of them in the sandy portion of the playground. What was the point of them, anyways? They scooped up sand and turned so you could set it next to the hole. It wasnât like you could really do anything with them besides shift sand around a little. Way to distract your thoughts.
Karkat had thought that he might feel more motivated to swing higher when John kicked off, but he only increased his height a little more then heâd been giving. After all of that walking around and the ups and downs his feelings had gone through today, he didnât think heâd make if very far up anyways. It was much more relaxing allowing himself to move only slightly, taking more joy in watching the other boy soar through the air out of the corner of his eye. It was different not hearing any words being exchanged between the two of them for a few minutes, but the quietness that enveloped them was a good one, not awkward or strange at all.
He was startled out of his momentary calm when he felt himself getting tugged up out of the swing. They were doing something else already? He glanced over to the climbing frame that John had been referring to, snorting a little. Heâd always remembered these to be a lot bigger, but this one seemed like it would be no challenge at all to reach the top of. âI can swing however I damn well please. Besides, I donât think critiquing a âswinging styleâ it a thing you can legitimately do.â He turned to flash a mischievous grin at the other boy, making a beeline for the climbing frame. He pulled himself up onto it, turning to shout back at him. âYou better get your ass in gear, or thereâs no way in hell youâre going to beat me to the top of this thing!â He quickly began scaling the small bars, actually having fun with it. Who would have thought?
John: make a proposition
âI can, and I just did. your swinging style SUCKS ASS. It might just be the worst swing style Iâve ever-â Shit, Karkat was getting away while he was trying to think of a good insult. Not good. He dashed after Karkat, following closely behind. Actually, he wasnât following all that closely. He was waaaay behind. âBluh, fuck you, Karkat!âÂ
It only took them a matter of seconds to reach the top, but climbing that stupidly quickly meant John needed to take a moment to catch his breath. âDamn, you win,â he panted, perching on one of the bars at the edge, his laughter really not helping him recover his breathing any quicker. It took a few moments for him to completely get over it, the atmosphere slowly drifting back into a quiet, contemplative one.Â
âHey, KarkatâŠâ
Oh god, he couldnât believe he was about to ask this. It was probably a terrible idea, and it was almost definitely going to award him with nothing but an earful of yelling, but he couldnât help but kind of want to suggest it. The atmosphere just sort of felt right, and he knew they would need to be getting back shortly. It was getting kind of dark! Besides, Karkat had almost seemed like he wasnât joking, earlier? He wasnât sure, but he figured it was worth a shot.Â
ââŠdo you want to uh, try that kiss again? I mean, if youâre going to count that thing from the other day as your first kiss, it doesnât really matter, right? And uh⊠it couldnât hurt to get some practice in before you get a real kiss? Besides, if we kiss on this date we can tell Vriska about it and say it wasnât anything special and weâre totally not gay for each other and then maybe sheâll get off our case.â
John pretty much knew in the back of his mind that these were all horrible arguments in favour of kissing somebody- but he kind of really wanted to? Not because he liked Karkat, that would be ridiculous, but it felt kind of like the right thing to do at this moment and anyway it wasnât like he was getting a girlfriend any time soon and he was fourteen and he thought kissing seemed like fun. It wasnât like it meant anything, even if he had to admit it was a little gay.
âHa ha ha! Not that we have to or anything! I was just saying we could. If you want. Just as friends.âÂ
KARKAT: BREAK YOUR OWN HEART
Yes, heâd done it! He had actually beaten him to the very top! He gave his best gloating laugh as he sat triumphant for a few moments, waiting for him to reach the top as well. Just as he was about to open his mouth and begin the process of reigning over his victory, John interrupted him.
And fuck, did he interrupt him.
In those few minutes he listened to John speak, his slowly increasing mood had been shit on, picked up, thrown around like it were an abused puppy, and then tossed into a gutter and left there to rot. His good feelings had practically not existed at all, and it felt like those words alone had sliced open his chest, tore through his ribcage, and beaten his heart into a disgusting, pasty mush. What was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do?
His fears had just been blatantly and earth-shatteringly confirmed. John had been quite blunt, and it was pretty fucking certain this would have no meaning whatsoever. Heâd had his first kiss, what did it matter? Did John even understand what it was that made a kiss special in the first place? It was something that could be shared with someone you were close to. Not just friendship-wise, but emotionally and physically close. It was meant to be shared with that one person who was special to you, it was supposed to be a link to provide connection between your two bodies.
It was just practice. They were just friends. It wasnât anything special. It doesnât really matter. Each phrase was like a separate wound, poking holes in his lungs and cutting what was left of his heart into tiny little pieces. He did notice he was having more trouble breathing, and he was worried that he might begin hyperventilating. He could feel his hands start to shake slightly, and it took every ounce of his willpower to keep his eyes from watering. He could feel them dampen more than usual, but he made sure there were no tears at all. The big question was this: What should he do?
As absolutely wrong and almost deceiving it would have been to accept the offer, the thought of it wouldnât leave him alone. Heâd wanted to redo the kiss too, hadnât he? Yes, he had. But heâd not expected for it to happen like this. When would John ever offer himself up like this again? If he declined him now, there would be no other chance for him to fix his past mistake. No matter how much it hurt to accept, no matter how much he wanted to just yell and scream profanities at the boy next to him, he made his decision.
He realized heâd been quiet for a good minute or two, so he cleared his throat and made his voice as straight as he could. âYouâre right, John. It wouldnât be much of a big deal, right? Since weâve both had our first kiss, I bet we both could really use the practice. And Iâm sure Vriska would definitely leave us alone, too. Itâs all sheâs been trying to push for, after all.â Could he just bite through his tongue now and hope the blood loss would kill him? That would be better than having to recall the words heâd just allowed to drip out. He couldnât believe heâd said it. Though since heâd agreed, heâd have to get to it, he supposed. There would be time to beat himself up in just a bit. After this kiss it didnât matter what was said, he was done with this..âdateâ.
He scooted himself a bit closer to him, turning his waist so that he was facing the other. Okay, this was it. This was his last chance. Heâd make this one count, even if John might have felt what he was doing would be weird or whatever, heâd make sure this kiss was done right. His mind scrambled, recalling a few kisses in movie scenes. He didnât want it to be too short again, but how would he know if it would be too long? Fuck it, heâd figure it out as he went along. But that was easier said than done. No, it was easily done.
He leaned in, his fingertips on one hand resting slightly on Johnâs respectively. Now or never. He closed the rest of the distance between them, puckering his lips only slightly as the othersâ set loomed closer and closer each second. After what seemed like hours of painstaking torture, their lips finally met. The sensation was almost too much and he was preparing to pull himself away again, but he wouldnât allow himself to make the same mistake twice. He tilted his head to the side slightly, making it a bit more comfortable. His own lips were a bit chapped, but the feeling of them against the otherâs was different than any other experience heâd ever had in his life. Completely alien compared to the last one. He could feel warmth shooting from his mouth through his whole body, from the tips of his ears to the very ends of his toes. There was another sensation that he couldnât quite put a name to, one that felt even better then what the rest of his body was experiencing. His toes curled and his fingers twitched only slightly. After a few moments, though his body only wanted to press into his and deepen the kiss, he pulled away slowly. He looked into his eyes for just a moment before pulling himself back into the position heâd been sitting in before. He was breathless, his face felt like it was on fire, and he could still feel the sensation tickling his lips as if they were still connected. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came to him.
Something inside of him snapped.
Something inside of Karkat broke, and he didnât know if heâd be able to fix it.
What had he just done?
John: be oblivious
Wow, Karkat was quiet for a long time! He hoped his suggest hadnât like, offended him. It probably sounded really really gay. He didnât mean it in a gay way, honestly! He just thought Karkat looked kind of nice in this light and that kissing him again might be nice. Okay, it did sound gay, but John was 90% certain girls kissed each other for fun sometimes. There was like, a whole Katy Perry song about it. Not that John liked Katy Perry of course. Jeez, what did you take him for.Â
John was just considering all this, and wondering whether secretly like Katy Perry was really any worse than openly liking Lady Gaga, and just trying not to think about the fact that his friend had been silent for a good few minutes now -that couldnât be good, could it?- when Karkat finally spoke up.Â
Oh, great. Looked like heâd agreed? John had half been expecting him to refuse, and it came as kind of a shock! Right, okay, he could do this. Karkat was scooting over and everything. And he was resting his hand on his. Hahaha, he totally thought heâd have to be the forward one initiating things but nope there were Karkatâs lips heading right for his. Woah. How should he be placing his?Â
He was still fumbling around wondering what to do with his lips and trying not to pull out some ridiculous duckface when lips finally met. He felt a brief sense of deja vu, which quickly dissipated what Karkat didnât just pull away seconds after initiating contact. He vaguely wondered if he should have taken off his glasses and whether putting an arm round Karkat would be bad form. Hell, they were kissing, werenât they? As if arm placement was going to be the deciding factor in how gay this was. He was definitely going to just slip an arm round him. It felt a bit weird just smushing their lips together all frozen still like this, so John tried to kind of move his about a bit? That was what you were meant to do, right? Pfft, he had no idea how kissing worked. Vriska had totally dissed his kissing capabilities and frankly she probably had a point but who really cared, right? He held on to Karkatâs hand which had been resting on his and gently interlaced their fingers. Hey, it felt like the right thing to do at that moment, and John was just going with what he felt like right now.Â
Then as soon as it had started, it was over. Karkat was pulling away. John felt a brief pang of regret, and tried not to look to disappointed. It was probably just hormones or whatever, haha. He was a little red in the face. Kissing Karkat had felt way more awkward and embarrassing than kissing Vriska had, somehow. Itâd been better in a way, though. Maybe because there werenât a whole bunch of people watching, or because it wasnât some party game? Or maybe just because Vriska was a shitty kisser? The idea made him laugh at little.Â
He suddenly realized he still had a hold on Karkatâs hand, and released his fingers slowly, before sliding off the bar and back onto the grass. âWoah, that was awesome. Definitely a good idea, hahaha.â He turned to face his friend. âHey, are you coming? We should probably start going back, you know.â As much as John really, really didnât want to. It was getting dark and stuff. Bluh, he couldnât even see Karkatâs face right now. Hopefully he wasnât completely grossed out or anything.Â
KARKAT: PICK UP THE PIECES
As their lips finally connected, his mind had begun racing. Was this okay? Was he doing alright? The warmth in his body surged to new heights once he felt Johnâs arm around him, and he quickly slipped his fingers into place when their hands interlocked. It felt so good and he was around him and it wasnât a dream and it was so real. His heart was doing somersaults and backflips (along with his entire stomach and dinner), and he didnât want it to stop. But the moment that blurred line between reality and fiction crossed his mind each beat of his heart felt more like a punch in the chest. Who was he kidding? This kiss hadnât been any more real than the rest of this fucking day. This kiss had about the same impact that a shitty pick up line did for the other boy. And that was none at all.
As they parted, Karkat couldnât help but stare at his shoes. He didnât have anywhere else he wanted to look and he certainly wasnât going to be looking at John right now. When he had caught a look at him, he could have sworn heâd seen a flash of disappointment cross his face for just the slightest moment. And that was enough. Looked like this kiss had been about as good to him as their first had. He tried not to let his fingers cling as Johnâs hand slid out of his, the empty feeling once again sweeping over him. Just like that, it was done. Over. He sighed as quietly as he could, climbing down with little to no effort. âHell of a lot better then the last one,â he managed to acknowledge, wandering over to where heâd set the flowers. Shit, looking at them now was that much worse than before. He quickly averted his eyes, making his way back over to John. âYeah, Iâm coming. Letâs go.â
As they began their walk back to the school, Karkat was simply just trying to pick up what was left.
