#complaint resolved

hello? hello? sorry. sorry. i'm. sorry.

i can’t believe people are still stanning eugene finch after what he did. i SAW him throw a bowling ball at children arranged in a triangle. he didn’t even get them all at once he had to try again and get a spare. and people honestly support him?? just because he’s super hot and can talk to ghosts??? why is no one talking about this? just because it happened in my dream? that makes me a FIRSTHAND WITNESS

Hey so I just hired a mouse to work at my bakery, and he asked for a cookie, which sure fine I allow my employees to sample the baked goods (so they can tell everyone how good they are) but now he's asking for a bunch of other stuff? Like napkins and milk and healthcare? Im just not sure what to do cause I feel like if i give in to more of his demands he's just gonna keep demanding stuff of me and soon im gonna run out of cookies

I'm lost please help? I can't find Midnight Alley

i thought midnight alley was supposed to be all cool and friendly but now im sick?? seems unfair. all i did was lick soup off the road but i guess the roads in midnight alley aren’t SAFE.

anybody want this highly venomous gecko? he’s been my best friend for 15 years but i can’t take care of him anymore due to recently developing an allergy to poison. he’s right here in my briefcase— oh no. uh. nevermind. i guess he left

I wish I were a fish... :(

I went to the public fishing market to do some fishing and there were just people in that lake who I was expected to date and while I’m sure that violates some code of ethics or something I’m honestly more pissed about the vague advertising. People should be fully aware of the experience they’re paying their hard earned money for and I truly think it should be changed to be more clear.