#commerce texas

Shrimp Gumbo, Vuelve a la Vida. El Golfo Seafood Bar. Commerce, Texas. 3.30.2019.

NOTE TO SELF: Gumbo was meh. The other thing, though...I’ve never had anything like that before in my life. Kind of savory, kind of sweet. That’s raw oysters sitting on top. Also, avocado, shrimp, octopus, fish. Definitely want to give that another go somewhere else (because I can’t imagine I’ll be in Commerce, Texas again in the next decade).

Some of my friends live here, but were thankfully okay.

Okay, so I never updated this but we didn't get the upstairs apartment because our apartment complex wouldn't let us have our own internet. Which they did not tell us until AFTER we had set up an account and paid Suddenlink $133. Grumpy Hubby called Suddenlink back to ask for a refund because we really needed that money for food & formula for Lil Raven and they said it would be 3 days. We waited. Nothing came. He called them back. "A request was never put in," they said. "It will take 3 BUSINESS days." (It was the weekend.) So we waited until Monday. No money. He called them again. "A request was never put in." He talked to a Supervisor and she said the best she could do was e-mail Corp and ask them to send it faster. We waited 3 more days. He called them bck and they told him that it would be coming by check in 7 - 10 days because a collection company had come in and taken out like $28. So we had to ask his mom for help with groceries.

Then Grumpy Hubby lost his job last week because he was defending himself against a customer that was advancing on him and about to fight him. The managers didn't listen to his side of the story at all and has previously been changing his schedule without notifying him... Just like Braum's, where he previously worked. So now we can't pay first month's rent and the worst part is that we're about to have to move in with his mother and step-dad. They live in a one bedroom, one bath house with no doors.

But the worst part is my anxiety about living with another woman in that position of "Mother-in-law". A few year ago, I lived with a worthless piece of shit who never bothered to get a job. He sat his lazy ass around my house and played video games while I took care of his two young kids. I pawned off precious family heirlooms and sold land to get us money for bills and you know what the fat bastard spent it on? YuGiOh cards and shit to butter me up. Then his mother lived with us and that was the worst year of my life. I was constantly told that I needed to "grow up", that I was a shit mother who needed to get my shit straight, and each time I tried to write or do anything for myself, she would tell me to get up and do a chore because "you're a mother now and you don't get time to yourself. You have to watch them all the time." She told me I wasn't contributing to the house when I would write. There was another woman living with us whom I adored (the bitch's brother's girlfriend) and she, too, did chores. She made out a chore chart and I stuck by it very well. Once she and I were done with our chores for the day, we would sit down and chat and I would try to write. She was a pleasant woman. But Tarry not ever once chided her. Everything this woman did, she was appraised for like she was a Goddess and I was the hellish freak from the Underworld that didn't belong there. I lost myself and my spirit was broken. Then, a few months later, something in me woke up. I had sold my last bit of extra land. He took that money, gave me $2000 and told me to buy us a car, then he paid 1 bill....and spent the rest. I decided I was done. I kicked him, his mother, and (I'm sad to say) those kids to the curb. I felt really bad about the kids because I had really tried hard to be a good mother figure since theirs had split on them. But he tried to play games with me by using those kids as a rope in tug of war. Because I told him to stay the hell out of my business about getting a new boyfriend (he had hacked into my Facebook to see who I was messaging), he told me "You don't get to see the kids anymore." I knew he would keep pulling those same tricks so I told him, "Fine." And they were out of my life. All of them.

While Grumpy Hubby's mom isn't the exact same way, she does say a lot of shit that pisses me off. And I don't mean little things like, "Your hair is in your eyes", I mean important shit. The week after we brought Lil Raven home from the hospital, Grumpy Huby didn't do something exactly when she thought he should and she said, "I swear I'm the only one who cares." Uh, excuse me?! I'm his mother! He is Lil Raven's father! We care! And far more than she does, too, because she only comes to get him once per month! She doesn't listen when Grumpy Hubby tries to explain (such as when he got fired), she runs her mouth, and jumps our asses and bitches at us about a lot of shit that isn't her concern and she has no right at all to put her two cents in about. So, of course I'm worried about this. I'm worried she's going to tell me how horrible of a mother I am or that I'm a useless person or that my writing is pointless...