#comedy bits

Adults have like this obsession with time and how you send it, so naturally they become very confused when another adult wants to read/watch/listen to a story they’ve already seen. For adults it’s like “what you’re going to send your adult compartmentilized time on a story you already know? Why? What a waste! You could be doing mundane adult things! At least consume a new story so that you can at least say you used your time for useful leisure!” Like I can’t say I spent my day with my favorite movie on repeat because that’s childish. I mean I’m still going to do it but I can’t talk about it without seeming like I need some kind of psychological counsel. How bollocks is that?!

Children don’t give a rats ass on how many times they have and will consume the same story (in direct succession too). Time is irrelevant to children and if they really like a story only the heavens know how long it will be until another story replaces their current obsession. I hate that they are so unapologetic in asking for the story again. As a child I watched Snow White and the Seven Dawrves from dawn til dusk and that was back when video cassettes where a thing. I had to wait for the goddam thing to rewind before I was able to play it again, that’s how much I loved that story.

If on movie night I ask for When in Rome for the millionth time I get eye rolls. And I end up watching it myself, in the dark, so no one can bully me about it. So fuck that. Adults need to grow up and accept that as humans we crave the same story over and over until it’s part of our very essence.

If I have to reread the whole of Pride and Prejudice just so Mr. Darcy can say “You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged; but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever.” then I will.

Maya Rudolph and Fred Armisen Write a Jingle for Keanu Reeves

this image in the nsfw discord channel whenever i deem it comedically necessary