#colofgrey

Waking up to the vibrating of my cell phone, the alarm has gone off and its time for work. The weekend is over its time to leave my bed. Monday has come around again and there's no escaping it. Waking up to be contemplating if work is important enough for me to actually leave my bed, the comfort zone, the place that feels familiar and safe. Check the time and I know if I don't get out of bed soon I'm going to be late.

Scroll down to my bosses name, open a new WhatsApp message and begin to type... Thinking of a few excuses not to go to work, I seem to have grown a hang for this type of thing now, I'm not even done with my first sentence and I stop. Tell myself to get out of the bed and get this day over and done with.

Rolling out of bed was the most difficult thing I've done this week and its only Monday. People will think that getting up in the morning is the easiest thing a person can do, well its not, and for people like me it can become the most difficult thing one can do.

I remember when I first started feeling depressed at age eleven, I would go to bed and cry myself to sleep. With every tear that fell I would ask God to take my life and make this pain go away. I would beg and plead to Him to not let me wake up in the morning. Which as you can tell never happened..