#colloydday

Raine had thankfully gotten the message, and they had managed to pick out something simple that only covered her knees with a minimal amount of stress required to put it on. White, of course. It revealed her shoulders, held up by straps around her upper arm and her neck, criss-crossing her back, with cute little ribbons around her waist. It felt like something a dainty elf princess in a fairytale may have won on a daily basis. Her hair, having grown out to the middle of her back, had been the perfect length for Presea to braid while humming a cheerful tune, Sheena carefully threading the stems of forget-me-nots into the golden strands. Her forget-me-not earrings dangled from her ears, the ring Lloyd had gifted her hung around her neck, proudly displayed to the world. It had certainly raised multiple curious eyebrows from the villagers who had noticed it, though most had the good sense not to say anything.

Lloyd didn’t even attempt to get her to calm down, only took her hand while grinning wildly himself. He was handsome in a black suit Zelos had tailor-made for him, his unruly hair finally tamed. She hadn't been there personally to see the Wilder siblings descend on him with a comb and enough determination to fill the sky, as one had to possess to properly deal with Lloyd's hair, only heard second-hand tales from a snickering Genis describing Seles' rather despondent observation that Lloyd must have never combed his hair in his entire life.

“This is amazing,” he breathed, gaze wandering over his surroundings as he drank it all in.

The fruits of months of non-stop effort were displayed around them. The entire ceremony was being held in a forest clearing with a river bubbling merrily behind it. It had completely transformed overnight, unrecognisable as one of the many locations that she, Genis and Lloyd had spent hours exploring until grass stains littered their clothes and their faces had hurt from smiling. Comfortable seats were laid out neatly across the grass, dew still clinging to the individual blades. The decorations consisted of wooden sculptures that reached her waist, intricate details captured perfectly at an impressive scale in a joint effort by Presea and Lloyd. A long table held an assortment of baked goods and a massive cake topped with tiny, adorable versions of her and Lloyd, something Genis and Regal had tackled together while Zelos had valiantly kept Raine out of the kitchen. There was a gap between the rows of chairs, leading up to an arch decorated with what seemed like an explosion of forget-me-nots, the pale blue practically consuming the white. Sheena had spent hours on that, her nimble fingers carefully putting everything into place so nothing would fall out. And tiny, glowing balls of light flitted about, a product of a proud Raine whose fine mastery of light magic had not weakened over the years. They reminded Colette of the elemental fairies from stories, making the entire place take on the magical atmosphere of an elfin forest, resembling a wonderland straight out of the fairytales.

Everyone had pitched in and given their all to make this as perfect as possible, and she couldn't be prouder to call them her friends. Something she had once told herself was nothing more than an impossible dream was now becoming reality before her very eyes.

All in all, it was a small ceremony. The guests, already seated, consisted of barely two dozen people, all barefoot as they enjoyed the feel of the soft grass against their feet, flower crowns courtesy of Genis resting lopsided on their heads. Their closest companions filled up the front row, many of them seemingly about to tear up. Behind them, Dirk had a proud smile on his face, and her father waved, eyes sparkling with joy.

A small ceremony suited her just fine. She had no desire to share her love with the whole world and invite yet more scrutiny upon it. Those she had invited didn’t necessarily understand the intricacies of her relationship with Lloyd, but they had never derided it, and that was good enough for her.

Zelos cleared his throat from where he stood below the arch, giving them a small wave to signal that he was ready. Squeezing her hand, Lloyd began to walk down the imaginary carpet, her feet naturally falling into step next to his. Their gazes never left each other, blue into brown, seeing the years and years they'd known each other and the countless events they'd weathered together. Each of them was only who they were today because of the other, the respective tapestries of their lives deeply interwoven since the day they had met and begun to write their story together. The cheers of those they trusted more than anyone in the world propelled them at their heels, softly wrapping them in a warm bubble that would never pop.

The vows were read perfectly, in a steady voice that didn't trip over the words - Zelos must have done this thousands of times before, but there was a gentleness to his voice that was impossible to miss as he sounded out the familiar words. She and Lloyd recited their parts, their smiles only growing as they closed the distance between them, leaning closer and closer.

In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, I will love and cherish you, until parted by death.

“You may now kiss…” Zelos came to an abrupt stop, reconsidering his words as a humorous smile danced across his lips. “Actually, don’t kiss the bride.”

A ripple of laughter broke through the crowd, light-hearted and holding not a bit of judgment.

Lloyd, true to his word, didn’t kiss her. He swept forward instead, brown eyes alight with mischief, lifting her into the air while she squealed in surprise. Throwing her head back, she laughed with wild abandon, heart soaring in her chest like a bird, free to explore the skies with nothing weighing it down.

~~~

The rest of the morning passed in a blur. She and Lloyd did a set of dwarven vows as well, written on a piece of paper that they let float down the river and out of sight, where it might one day be carried to reach Gnome. Dirk had cried big, fat tears as her father awkwardly rubbed his shoulders, and when it was done, he had crushed them both in a hug that had knocked a few flowers out of her hair.

The party had gone into full swing then, and she had spent it mingling with friends and accepting warm congratulations. She was no better at dancing now than she had been four years ago, but she and Lloyd managed just fine, swaying across the grass in small circles, her ear pressed to his chest as she listened to the steady beat of his heart, his hand on her back holding her close. And he caught her every time she tripped, pulling her back into the routine without missing a beat.

She'd warily eyed the bottle of alcohol Zelos had procured out of nowhere, knowing that a tipsy Zelos, Sheena and Genis in the same location spelt disaster, as it had at various get-togethers at Zelos' mansion. But she had to admit it had been fun to gang up on Lloyd, each of them planting a kiss on him at the same time which caused him to flush to the tips of his ears. Things had gotten progressively wilder until Raine had confiscated the alcohol and promptly declared that the next person to do something stupid would be facing her wrath, which remarkably caused everyone to sober instantly. It was both impressive and fearsome that she still had that effect on them all even though they were far too old to qualify as her students. Some things just never changed.

By that point, some of the guests were starting to feel tired and beginning to retire back to Iselia. Still buoyed by the warm happiness flooding her entire body, she'd spent the afternoon alone with Lloyd after changing into something more appropriate, soaring through the skies on their wings, catching the wind and chasing each other in short bursts that ended with her winning most of the time. Lloyd still wasn't the most graceful in the air, and while his control had certainly improved, it couldn't match her ability to wield her wings like a natural extension of her. With the wind caught in his hair, it wasn't long before it was a mess again - but she didn't mind, for she truly did love running her hands through that unruly mess that was essentially a part of him.

And now here they were on the roof of her house once more, winding down the night in the company of the stars. The sky glimmered with the light of a thousand of them, winking playfully down at the two of them. Her head rested in Lloyd's lap as his fingers gently rubbed against her scalp, the motion slowly lulling her to sleep.

In a relaxed haze, she raised his hand, pressing a kiss to his open palm. "Love you," she mumbled sleepily, blinking sluggishly up at him. The words came to her so easily now, springing from her lips like they were nothing special. For they weren't. It was a fundamental truth, like how the sun would rise from the east every morning and the seasons would continue to turn. It would remain the truth forevermore, regardless of how many years would pass, a part of her that she would never doubt.

She knew that once she had drifted off into dreamland, he would gently carry her to bed and tuck them both in. She would wake up tomorrow in the safety of his arms, with the sunlight dancing over their faces, and she would watch him sleep, tracing the planes of his face until his eyes fluttered open. She would see him off again once the sun rose to its apex, giving him a kiss on the cheek goodbye as she gave him yet another leaf of a forget-me-not, freshly plucked from her garden. Once he had left, she would return home to sip a cup of calming tea on her porch, calmly watching children run by and waving back when they shouted a greeting. Someone would visit over the months, and she would never be alone, even when she was the only one in Iselia, the knowledge of their unfaltering companionship filling the space of her heart and keeping her company.

Nothing would change despite the vows they had uttered that very morning, for they didn't have to. She was content with what she had now - she had discovered a place to belong, a place where she could simply be without judgment. She had finally found a happy ending that she had once thought out of her reach - her very own, and one that would continue forevermore, safe in her and Lloyd’s clasped hands.

One night, she and Lloyd lingered at the meadows outside of Iselia, where they could see the village from a distance, not close enough for those to see them, yet not far into the forests where predators could get them. It was a year before she would leave, and when they both were already learning to carry their weapons around, though the only enemies they ever had to fight were rabid wolves that would try to attack those on the pathway. Genis had already gone home to brave his sister’s cooking once more, leaving only them both on the search they had decided to undertake.

“I know that clover was around here somewhere.” Lloyd scratched his head, frustrated that he could not find the four-leaf oddity.

“It’s okay if we miss it” Colette had assured, but he was determined, searching through the grass in the dark, with only the moonlight to guide him. “Are you even able to see much though?”

“There it is!” Lloyd shouted with an enthusiasm that sent a pleasant warmth through her. His excitement infected her, so she couldn’t help but gasp in wonder when she found it near his hand, tempted to pluck it away as she knelt next to him.

She was not sure what had changed between them there - for it was only the usual between them. There had been plenty of times they had remained near each other alone, but suddenly there was an awkwardness that she couldn’t explain. Perhaps by their nearness, his head just next to hers as they looked at the clover, but again it was not the first time they had ever been this close. Was it the darkness of the night sky? The lights of the village in the distance?

What she knew was that Lloyd was looking at her differently, and that it set off a temptation that she only dimly harbored when she allowed herself to think of it. When he leaned forward, she had already closed her eyes, already imagining heat and scents that she had wanted, despite all that she already had. A breath passed over her lips, and there was just the slightest touch that sent a shiver through her chest. But, inexperienced as they both were, neither had calculated the distance well enough, especially with both their eyes shut. A hard smack between both their foreheads instantly broke off the almost-kiss.

“Ow…” Lloyd rubbed his head, blinking away the night’s affects. “Sorry about that. And, uh…”

Nursing her own bruise, she laughed. “It’s okay. It was probably my fault.”

Lloyd had already gotten to his feet, helping her off her knees. “I didn’t think heads could be so hard,” he said with a grin.

Unsure how to get back to the moment, it was already lost. They then both went back to the norm, heading back to the village for Colette to be home before her family worried.

Perhaps it was better though. It would be cruel to promise him something that could never be fulfilled. So she did not seek, but the longing, no matter how hard she tried, continued to stay.

---

“Why didn’t you say anything to anyone? Why didn’t you talk to me?”

Lloyd rarely yelled at her - the closest instances was when he raised his voice if she got herself hurt, as her clumsiness ensured would happen time and again. Always she could detect the slight crack in his tone when he did so, as if the very concept of her in any condition worse than a scraped knee or bruised lip was enough to send him into a panic.

The deadening of her own senses was enough to push him into terror.

“It’s okay, Lloyd. Really!” She smiled perfectly, twining the fingers of her hands together to keep them still. “I don’t get tired anymore now. You know how hard it usually is for me to get up early if we need to. And now I can hear things from far off and-”

“Stop it, Colette.” Lloyd’s voice was low. His fists clenched in frustration. “Stop trying to make like everything’s okay when it’s not!”

Her eyes flickered to the shattered mugs on the ground, spilling out the black contents. “Lloyd, I just… I don’t want you to worry.”

“How can’t I?” He took a step closer to her, and once again she could hear his voice crack again. He barely kept hold of it. “Can you… can you really not feel anything anymore?”

There was that hope. But if she lied, he would just see through her, as he always had.

“No,” she told him. Nor sleep, nor eat. The price of her wings was slow but certain. She had not known that the transformation would do this to her. She had prepared herself for the end, but not for what would come before. Still, this was her lot - it could not be changed.

“Please don’t tell anyone. At least, until our journey is ended.”

“Colette-”

“I want this journey to be fun for everyone!” She smiled again, not completely fake now. The worry he felt for her was reassuring, but she wanted his pain to stop. “This is just part of becoming an angel. If we tell everyone now, they’ll keep worrying over me. And I don’t want to cause such trouble, especially when we’re discovering new places.”

Lloyd stared at her. He kept clenching his hands, unsure what to do.

“But…I’m glad that you know, Lloyd,” she whispered. “If there’s anyone that I would want to talk about this, I’m happy that it’s with my most favorite person in Iselia.”

She wasn’t sure exactly what she said then. Or perhaps it was how she said, breathless, with the memory of a darkened sky and childish search through the fields. Yet it made tears slide down Lloyd’s cheeks, made him rush up to her with a tight embrace.

“I’m so stupid! If I had known what was happening to you…”

Colette lifted her hands, intending to offer him some comfort back. But he had already pulled back slightly, staring at her like he had done those few months ago. His lips met hers in a rush, his breath quickening as he gripped her arms. It was a moment she had often thought about before, when she would imagine the scenario, on the words they would say to each other before it happened.

Reality wasn’t the same. She stood there, feeling nothing. Not the rush of electricity, not the intoxication of heat. Her wings had robbed her of such sensations. It made her heart crack.

Still, she wouldn’t trade her first kiss with anyone else.

---

And she would soon kiss him again, greedy for nothing less.

I’m glad I can say goodbye to you in the end. Her lips couldn’t move, her throat couldn’t utter a thing. But still, in the tower, Lloyd heard her. He clung to her as she felt herself being pulled away.

“Colette, wait!” He was the only one that ran to her, not stopped by fear or confliction. Despite everything her death would accomplish, he still chose her. “You can’t… you can’t go…”

The way his voice broke, it made her want to be close to him, just once more. Just one last thing before her memory of him would be taken from her.

Because she was selfish, and she still wanted to feel his kiss, even if it was beyond salvaging now.

She could see, from the growing dimness of her eyes, the shock in his face as she pressed against him. His own eyes widened, reflected the light from her wings and her pain. But what she suffered was nothing compared to his own, to know that her lips could not feel him, no matter how hard she tried. He stayed rigid at first, letting her hold up his face as she imparted one last moment with him, despite the stares around them both. Both the shock from her friends and the aloofness from Remiel was palpable, but it was only the boy before her that mattered now, who always had mattered beyond her existence.

With a quiet sob, Lloyd grasped her hands, pressing them close as he kissed her back. His grip was strong, no matter how much it shook. He begged her for one more moment to stay, to be alive, to not leave him alone in a revived world. This was a terrible thing for her to do, but she wanted to be selfish, she wanted a chance to maybe feel him, finally.

Of course, she didn’t.

Colette let him go. She regretted his tears. I’m sorry.

---

So, did she deserve anything when she could finally laugh, taste and feel again?

Flanoir was a place unlike any other, a place where she could feel the numbness in her hands and be so grateful for such a thing. Lloyd had asked her to come with him outside, long after everyone else had slept. The later the hour, the colder it felt. She wanted all of that chill, all of the winter’s sharpness. The cloaks they both wore helped keep in some of the heat that she could feel too.

She could feel everything now, from the dampness of the snow through her mittens, to the brush of Lloyd’s hand when he helped her up from yet another fall.

“Your face is red though,” he said, grinning wide. The snowflakes caught onto his hair, clinging onto him tight. Few people were around now, and the snow held in all sound so that all she could feel and hear was him - like that night in the field.

She grinned back at him, giggles tumbling from her lips. “My whole body is cold, but my cheeks are burning!” She put his hands to her face - ungloved now, so that he could pack up a better snowball he had claimed! - a shiver passing through her as the chill of his skin intensified the winter all around. “See?”

“Heh, yeah…”

Lloyd’s smile was soft then, and she could see that he had already figured her out. Hands numb to the world, pressing against warmth that could not be felt. But where her own loss of sensations had been a stolen thing, a reminder of the nearness of her death, his had been given willingly to the snow, knowing that his sense of touch would return. It would not be without slight pain as the blood rushed back to his fingers, but that was the mark of his humanity, the mark of hers as the heat of her cheeks cooled pleasantly at his touch.

His kiss was slow at first, lingering. It recalled all the other lost moments, taken from their hearts with great hurt. Colette made a sound, a soft little strangle that echoed another from months before. She placed her own cold hands against his, and so he did not let go. Her sound only made his kiss deeper, made them both rush to grasp what they could before something else sought to separate them again. It was a sprint to go beyond innocence, for complete fulfillment. Still, there was the touch of first love, making its shaky steps from the night in the meadows outside Iselia.

His mouth released hers in complete reluctance, but there was no agony. Not anymore. He released his hands from her face, only to have them encircle her waist as he brought her close.

“I missed you,” he whispered into her hair. She heard tears in his voice, but for once did not feel any guilt for it. She embraced him back, pressing as close as she could, uncaring how it may seem. They had fought too long for this.