#collegedating

Okay, so the last time I wrote I just began college now I am currently a sophomore in college. I can sure enough say I learned a lot about myself from that first yea of being on my own. I learned that I do not have to form to the norms or certain things people do to fit in. For some reason I just really wanted to to like and now I am just like I do not really care if I person like me. I am not about to fake who I am to impress you or to make myself more likable to you. 

As I finish up my last year in college, I'm starting to faze out of my random hookup habits and am beginning to crave an actual relationship.

Mistake number one.

Most of my friend group are all in relationships now, and the transition out of hookup culture has left me more clueless than most being that I have never been in a serious relationship before. So where do I take my talents to? Tinder of course.

Mistake number two.

One boy catches my interest with his humor. We briefly chat and nothing else. Flash forward two months when my friend begins dating his friend. I meet him at a party and match with him on dating app #2: Bumble. I send him a meme relating to something we talked about at a party to see if he remembers me. He responds with a gif confirming he does. Nothing else. I get drunk one night about a week later and message him my number and delete the app. He booty calls me the next night but, me not knowing it's him, I don't answer.

Flash forward to after winter break. He adds me on snapchat. A week or two later it is his roommates birthday and he invites me over to the party. I go. We hookup. I sleepover. Yay!

Don't hear from him for about a week. I see him at a party and can't tell if he's interested. He leaves, I leave later and booty call him.

Mistake number three.

He's too drunk and, though I sleepover, nothing happens. I sleep in jeans as he does not think to offer me any comfortable clothing.

I chat with my friends, and they ask if we're "texting." I say no, just snapchat, to which they decide that it is not serious. Me being impatient, I text him the next night to try and initiate that "level."

Mistake number four.

His responses are no short of 12 hours after mine. He apologizes, but doesn't continue. I text him a few nights later asking to hang out with me and a few of his friends who are over.

Mistake number five.

He says he has too much work. I have not heard from him since. It has been two weeks.

I point out the mistakes, but are they really mistakes? Why is being interested seen as being crazy? We have to play hard to get, but not too hard to get otherwise they lose interest?

I'm sick of the constant paranoia of seeming clingy or crazy. I'm sick of this constant back and forth of facades. If I am interested, I'll let you know. There's so many other things in life I worry about, I don't need to add "he hasn't opened my snapchat in eleven minutes" to it.

We all have come across the jerk. Well who exactly is the jerk. The jerk is the guy who never called or texted. The boy who after wasting so much time with never reaches out to you again. The one who does a slow fade without warning. The guy who lets you down easy. The boy who you sleep with and then never calls again.

I have met this boy several times. But now I can say that it was all my fault.…

It’s Pre-finals week and I already feel like my mind is about to explode. Is there anyone out there with me?

Since I’ve stopped dating I decided to focus more time on school and work and the pursuit of happiness blah blah….

But oh boy school it’s too much especially graduate school. I am almost finishing off my first year which is an incredible achievement. One more year to go and then I will be…