#college loki

You open your book.

“This part. I don’t even know how to pronounce it.

Loki smiled at you. It was one of his favourite subject.

"I had a 100 on this paper."

You let your jaw drop. You always knew that he was good in sciences. He wasn't going to become a surgeon for nothing, but it still surprised you. It's probably because you couldn't understand a thing about it.

"How did you do?"

"It was just an easy subject for me. You can come tonight if you want, I don't have practice."

"Yes please, please, please. I really need to pass."

You hugged him tightly and he did the same. You take his scent, staying in his arms a bit longer that you should have.

Loki helped you understand your subject and you were so happy with it. You might after all, pass your exam. You asked him if it was possible for you to study together until next week and he agreed to it. He will never let you fail. He needed you around him. Not only because he loved you more than he should but also because you were the only one with the same love for sciences, he couldn't imagine not talking to you about the late discoveries.

As usual, you stayed the night at Loki and Thor's. You have been best friend with the blond since forever and used to sleep in the same bed since you were little. Even all these years later, you were still falling asleep next to him. You couldn't imagine it another way. Except Loki, nobody knew that. Thor and you didn't want his girlfriends to think that something was happening between you two.

You woke up thirsty. You quit the bed slowly to not wake up your best friend. He looked so peaceful. You smiled at his side. You were almost to the kitchen when you start to hear voices.

"I already told you that I would not accept less than perfection from you. I took you under my roof, you need to prove yourself."

You saw Odin with his belt, ready to hurt Loki. You froze. You wanted to scream to let him alone but you couldn't. It was like your voice left your body. You gripped the railing but didn't do anything, tears starting to fall on your cheeks. You watched Loki getting hurt. He wasn't screaming or excusing himself for doing something wrong. What could he have done to deserve this? Nothing, you were sure of it. Your raven headed best friend has always been the kindest of you all. You still couldn't move until you sense Odin lifting his head. You hide, putting a hand on your mouth, trying not to make any sound.

"You know the rules. If you tell it to anybody, your tuition will be cancelled, and you will never live here again."

Loki didn't day anything. He took too many biting to know not to challenge Odin. He stayed like this a bit longer, waiting for his strength to come back.

You entered his room. You could hear the shower running while you put the tea on his nightstand and the cake. You put the ice in the towel, waiting for him to come back. You took the picture of him when he was little with his mom. You smiled. It was so long ago. He was so small and skinny. Thor often defended him and could even see rage in his eyes when someone tried to bully him. You didn't realise that the water wasn't running anymore.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?"

You turned to see Loki, only wearing a towel on his lower half. You could see the bruises forming despite the drops of water rolling on his chest. It took you some time to realise that you needed to talk. It wasn't the first time that you were seeing him like this. You got used to it when you were having holidays at the beach but you still couldn't stop looking, the falling drops making you want to taste him.

"Y/N, darling, are you OK?"

You shook your head to remove your thoughts.

"Hum yes, I just brought you a tea and some ice."

He didn't say anything. He arrived to hide this for years, but now you knew. He always wanted to protect you, following Thor example. He couldn't let you be in the middle of everything and get hurt. Both of them were really protective of you. They knew that you would get involved if you had the knowledge of what Odin inflicted them.

"You didn't have too."

"I know, but I wanted to."

You have always been nice to him. Since you were kids, you passed a lot of time together  during holidays even if Thor was always there with you. Still, he had a hard time accepting that you didn't consider him like a broken piece. People were often looking at him as less than Thor even if this last never did anything for people to think like this. On the contrary, Thor always praised his cousin. People just thought he could be really mischievous when he was just trying new things.

"Sit, you need to heal."

He did as you said while you bringing him the tea and the cake. You didn't know why you brought cake but you thought that it might help a bit.

"Thank you."

You looked at him before taking the ice.

"No need Loki."

You put the towel on his bruises. He shakes a little bit. You look at his ribs. You wanted to kiss them, to disperse the pain and magically make it go away. For half an hour, you didn't speak. You just put the towel on different parts of his body. Your fingers were cold, but that was nothing compared to what Loki was enduring.

The ice finally melted. You went to his bathroom to take a dry towel and put it on him to warm him up, removing the last drops. You can't help but caress him in the same process. You wanted him to feel warmth. You sat next to him.

"Feeling better?"

He nodded. He couldn't tell you how much it meant to him.

"When did it start?"

He couldn't look at you. He knew that you would be disappointed.

"A few months after I arrived."

"What? Does Thor knows this?"

You couldn't imagine your best friend letting his father do this to his cousin. Thor was protective of everybody, fighting injustice. He wasn't just the tall, beautiful quarterback that people could see. It wasn't for nothing that he was also taking psychology.

Loki answered with a broken voice.

"I am not the only one Y/N."

If you were standing, you would have felt on the floor for sure. How could both of them accept this? Odin wasn't strong enough against both of them. You were sure of that. But how could they not tell you anything? You felt betrayed, but also, you felt like a bad friend for not seeing it over all those years. You couldn't let your feelings show for the moment. It wasn't what was important.

"Why? I mean, I know Odin is difficult, but to hit you? Both of you."

"He wants us to succeed, and any bad grade or false step could put everything in jeopardy."

"But you can't be good at everything all the time."

"He doesn't believe it."

You stayed close to him, hugging him for a long time. You needed him to know that you were here for him. You looked at each other, love in your eyes. You move and he help you straddle him, hugging him as much as you can. You hated to know that he was hurting for years and that you never realised it. You were the worst best friend ever.

You couldn't keep your eyes from him. You needed him to know how much he meant to you. You started to get closer to him slowly for him to stop you if it was what he wanted. You kissed him. His lips were softer that what you thought they would be. When you don't feel any resistance, you push yourself against him. Your hands rammed his body while his kept you close to him, one hand on your head and the other at the bottom of you back. You melted in each other. You never felt anything like this while kissing someone. When you finally broke the kiss, you looked at him happy while he seemed sad. You were scared for him.

"What is it? Did it hurt?"

"We can't."

"Why not?"

"Thor."

You raised an eyebrow, not understanding what your best friend was doing in the conversation. Loki shouldn't be telling you this, but he needed you to understand his position. He loved you too much not to tell the truth.

"He's in love with you."

You looked at him confused. You never thought for a moment that Thor could like you that way. He was always dating girls who were the opposition of you.

"He never said anything."

"Because he wants to be sure that you love him when he does."

You kept your hands on his shoulders. You thought that would might finally be with him, and you needed to feel him.

"But I love you Loki. I want to be with you."

Loki's heart broke. He could see the fire in your eyes. You wanted him as much as he wanted you. He wished he could kiss you and hug you like if you were his. However, he would never betray the only family that he had. Thor was like a brother to him, and he would never let a girl come between them, even if that meant losing you. When he doesn’t respond anything, you turn and leave the room.

You stayed in the hall for a while, trying to compose yourself. Thor should have said something to you. You learned about more than one secret tonight, and you didn't know how to feel about any of them. He had his reasons, but he was supposed to be your best friend. You should have know all of this years ago.