#collab contest

Annually, The-Bards-College over on deviantART hosts a single entry summer contest, which today has been officially completed for this year. Next step is our annual collaboration contest, where writers and artists from all corners and come together to work in teams to put together a themed entry for the contest.

Deja Vu (Written by commandercousland and drawn by CosplayCraze for the Fenris Collab Contest of Askbroodyelf)

The Gallows were filled with screams and fire, the stench of blood and ashes was more dominant than ever. To Fenris however, the world was silent. He was marching a few steps behind Knight-Commander Meredith, focusing on keeping a distance between them. He saw the panic in the eyes of the mages they encountered but Fenris heard nothing when they opened their mouths to scream. 

He had been to the Fade once and this reminded him of it. The situation seemed so unreal, like a bad dream he could not grasp with his hands. As soon as he would reach out for it it would turn into dust. However, Fenris knew that this was reality.

  And so you would defend these mages, after all they have done? Throw yourself at a hopeless cause?

  The elf had walked this path several times, however he had been at the side of those he carefully had allowed to enter his heart, bickering with them like an idiot he was at that time, filled with foolish hopes of friendship and camaradarie. This year had shown him several times however that these were but dreams of a fool.

Fenris bit his bottom lip when he spotted a known figure near at the entrance. Kellan, a templar Hawke had once saved, was covering a mage behind his back while he was fighting with another templar. Kirkwall truly was a city of madness - here he was, watching others betray their companions as if it were the easiest thing. Knowing, that he himself, had been betrayed, too.

  No. I won't fight to save these mages...not for you, not for anyone.

  Fenris clenched his fists at this thought. Why had Hawke chosen to fight for the mages once more? Every time the Champion had done something for the mages it had ended in chaos. Hawke had saved a woman named Grace just to see her performing terrible acts of blood mages on them. They had asked a man named Gascard to help them, just to find out that he was the apprentice of Quentin, an apostate who had murdered Hawke's own mother. And her sister was off with the Wardens.  

And then there was Anders. Fenris had never liked how close they were and how much they trusted each other. Anders was a monster to him, just like every other abomination, yet Hawke had decided to put faith in him.

This was the outcome of it. This war and slaughter, killing and blood shedding. It occurred to him that all of Kirkwall seemed to drown in it. He had encountered demons already, making it clear to him that this was worse than the Qunari Massacre.

Only then Fenris realized that the Knight-Commander was talking to him. "What is the matter?", the elf asked, surprised how croaky his voice sounded, almost brittle and breaking. He felt in need to breath in deeply. Had he been holding his breath the whole time? How many minutes had passed since he had spotted Keran?

"I said that I was hoping to trust you regarding this matter. You have claimed to be on our side but the past seven years I saw you often walking beside her.", her eyes seemed to attempt to glare at him, but what felt way more like a stab in his chest were her words.

  "I enjoy following you." he once had whispered and even granted Marian a smile. She had just chuckled without answering him.

  "Knight-Captain Cullen", the Knight-Commander continued, "has told me about your loyalty regarding the templars. Yet, it is you who has to prove that this is not just empty talks."

Fenris felt the lyrium marks on his skin burning, even more when he realized the determination in her eyes and the way she reached for her sword as if to calm down. Why was he even doubting his choice ? He knew he was loyal to the templars, they kept the mages in order, protected those who needed protection from the embodiment of terror. Danarius and Varania had proven it more than enough that what he was doing was justified.

Why then did he still feel as if walking behind the Knight-Commander was not right?

Maybe it had to do something with the fact that he could spot Hawke by now. Hawke, surrounded by those with whom Fenris had fought and lived for seven years. Merrill was holding to Isabela, a wound on her leg was bleeding and she could hardly stand. Aveline was bandaging it, while Anders of all people was healing the red-haired guard-captain. Hawke did not see him, she was talking to Varric and showing him only her back.

All of them were ready to fight for the other, the wrong side.

  I feel unclean. Like this magic is not only etched to my skin, but has also stained my soul.

  How Danarius and Hadriana would just laugh at him would they still haunt him, able to read almost every of his thoughts. Because Fenris knew that theese tracks of mind were familiar. He hoped to be part of something before and all of these companions he would be facing within any minute had watched him loose it. Varania who could have been his family, whom he had longed to meet and ask about his past, had been the greatest disappointment in his life...until now.

"Champion", the Commander began to speak. It was Isabela who spotted him then, for a moment just about to smile, when she, too, remembered what would happen every moment. Regret was shown on her face, the same regret he could read in the eyes of Aveline and Varric, even Merril's.

He had been hoping, secretly, after he had lost the family connected to him by blood, that they would form a bond much closer. But magic has tainted that, too. I have nothing to reclaim.

It was Hawke who turned to him at last, blue eyes meeting his. This was something he usually had loved, only looking into the eyes of this person that was so dear to his heart. Right now it felt worse than all the torture he had ever experienced, worse than always running from town to town, worse than loneliness.

  I would have given you everything.

  He was not listening to those empty words Knight-Commander and First Enchanter exchanged. His eyes were fixed on Hawke, trying to remember every detail of her face, the melody of her voice and all the gestures and kisses they had exchanged.

"The time for talking is done.", the Champion answered, not looking away from him, too. Fenris knew that Hawke was right.

"You realizes this is a cause you cannot hope to win.", Fenris said with a heavy voice. He was reading himself to fight, the lyrium-marks already just about to glow, his hands ready to reach for his sword.

Hawke would win.

It was to him so certain like the colour of the sky.  He would not go down without fighting, however.

No matter how much he had hoped for their relationship to be something that would make them stronger.

No matter how much he wanted to reach even more out to Hawke, to wake up from this nightmare, this awkward deja-vu of loss.

He knew he couldn't get out. He knew this was real.