#colfer

aw fuck it's summer... time to draw ocs about it.

this is hard to talk about because there’s always a possibility of diehard shippers coming for me but. i’m going to do it anyway.

disclaimer: i beleive you can ship whoever you want (as long as it’s legal). honestly i agree that cc would be a good couple.

some of you are taking it WAY too far.

no matter what, you have to be respectful of chris, darren, and their partners.

some of you make fun of mia and will, insult them, repeatedly insist that darren and chris should be together, and some of you go as far as saying chris doesn’t love will.

who the hell raised y’all? who taught you it’s okay to say these things about people who you don’t even know? i understand being a chris stannie or a darren stannie, but they’re still people and they should be able to have privacy.

i don’t care if you personally dislike will or mia. that’s fine. you are entitled to your own opinions of people. but why would you make fun of them? what does anyone gain from that.

prying into chris and darren’s personal lives is disrespectful and honestly quite weird, and this is coming from someone who would be happy if they were together.

haven’t any of you realized that they don’t talk about each other or see each other anymore? they had a great friendship and you tinhats ruined it by pushing romance onto it. some of you even write Those Kinds of fanfic of them and that’s??? invasive??? and??? weird??

some of you are fujoshis in disguise, and i don’t apologize for saying that because if it were a mlw dynamic you wouldn’t be saying shit.

Chris, in 'Home:'

Well, holy moly, me oh my,

You're the apple of my eye

Girl, I've never loved one like you

Artemis Fowl

Prompt Nine from this list:

“At this point, I don’t know if this is real or fake, but all I know is that my hands have been on too many illegal things in the past twenty-four hours.”

Word Count: 813

Summary: Artemis really needs to stop meddling in Underground affairs. Holly really needs to stop helping him.

Fun fact: my mother walked in and peered over my shoulder when I was starting this. She read the prompt, asked “What are you writing?” and left.

help

It was never a normal phone call with Artemis Fowl. 

Yes, he and Holly had come a long way from when he first kidnapped her (at the age of twelve, no less), but the LEP officer had learned to remain wary of the boy’s asks, no matter how innocent they sounded.

So yes, she couldn’t help but be a bit suspicious when he called her, asking her to come help him look into something, saying that wouldn’t even take the whole day, he promised. And though Holly herself had promised that she’d never partake in another one of Artemis’s impromptu missions again, she grabbed her weapons and met at the rendezvous point.

Atremis was already there, looking as formal as ever in his suit and black dress shoes, his hair neatly combed back. He was peering down at a small device in his hands, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He glanced up when he saw Holly.

“What is it this time?” Holly asked, wanting to get straight to it so she could go back home. She had an unfinished novel waiting for her.

“There was a woman killed today,” Artemis said. Holly raised an eyebrow.

“People are killed every day,” Holly said, before realising how insensitive she sounded. “Not that it’s okay, of course,” she amended, “but it doesn’t seem like something you’d be particularly interested in, let alone call me up for it.”

“It was rather unusual,” Artemis insisted.

“Everything with you is unusual, Arty,” Holly quipped. The teen scowled.

“I have reasons to believe that a faerie was involved,” Artemis said, “and I need your proficiency with magic to help me confirm this.”

There it was.

“As much as I’d love to traipse around the Irish countryside looking for clues, I have work to do,” Holly said. “I’ll notify the LEP, tell them about your suspicions-”

“Both you and I know you won’t do that,” Artemis cut in. Holly halted.

Stupid juvenile geniuses.

Her curiosity (as well as Artemis’s stupid mind games) got the best of her, and she looked Artemis in the eye, folding her arms.

“I hate it when you’re right.” Artemis gave a smirk and strode towards a sleek black car, opening the back door.

“Let’s go.”

»»————-　★　————-««

Holly had encountered red flags before, but this was a whole bull fight. 

The investigation had taken longer than initially expected, and Artemis seemed to feel the need to explain every little detail and theory. Holly had the privilege of helping to break into a morgue, watching as Artemis hacked into government databases, and flitting around Dublin in search for the alleyway in which the woman of interest, Caiomhe Ryan, had been killed.

Currently, they were crouched in said alleyway and Artemis was picking through several strange objects with gloved hands. He inspected what looked like a small blaster, similar to the ones carried by officers of the LEP, then thrust it into Holly’s grip.

“Hold this,” he said simply. Holly nearly dropped the thing.

“Listen,” she began, “At this point, I don’t know if this is real or fake, but all I know is that my hands have been on too many illegal things in the past twenty-four hours.”

“You’re a police officer,” Artemis said dismissively.

“Yeah, well I’m not a homicide expert,” Holly shot back. Artemis seemed to ponder this for a moment, before replying with a simple, “Neither am I.”

Stupid logic, stupid Artemis.

Eventually, Holly was able to talk Artemis into calling someone more qualified. How she’d finally convinced him, she had no idea, but she thanked the powers that be that Artemis had realised that the situation was out of his hands.

What didn’t help was that all of Artemis’s theories were exactly correct, down to the tiniest, craziest detail. The smug smirk on his face when they received the official reports from the LEP was enough to make Holly glare with a ferocity she’d never used before.

As usual, Artemis was let off with a warning, as practically everyone in the Underground knew that if real trouble came, he would be the best ally they had.

As soon as they were out of the sight of the officials, Holly swept Artemis off his feet — literally. With a practiced kick, she sent the boy to his knees and seized that perfectly-ironed collar of his, secretly hoping that she’d put a crease or two in it.

“I swear to everything holy,” she began, “if you call me up for one more of you little missions, I’m going to stun you into next Christmas.” Artemis nodded silently, and Holly let him up.

Just before he was out of earshot, Holly heard the boy mutter, “I need to start work on a shield.” Her eyes went wide and she suppressed the urge to kick him again, preferably in a more painful spot.