#colevalley

Hello dear subscribers

This is Mousse and Tavert, the untamed voices of Cole Valley, bringing you the goings on in the mystical neighborhood of Cole Valley.

Today, on August 2nd 2006, there are three things you might want to checkout, along with some suggestions from Tavert about how to navigate without getting vaporized, obliterated or spellbound.

The lost and resurrected myth of fog erasure

The makeshift tree on the corner of Cole and Carmel

The free automatic labelling machine lying outside the laundromat

The first two things are self explanatory, so we will focus on the automatic labelling machine in today's issue.

Tavert first noticed it last week on one of his morning rituals of washing all the daily newspapers of invisible ink using the washing machine before distributing it to the neighborhood. If you are one of the people in Tavert's newspaper route, you have 100% prevention against curses through newspapers which is a not an uncommon way through which small businesses get back at you for leaving bad Yelp reviews.

Now, back to the labelling machine. It is one of those small handheld ones that looks like a calculator. The letters are all faded out, and the display is a little dim. You need to hit it a few times like you would a TV remote. But once you get the hang of it, it is a pretty sweet device. You just need to type in at random and it will label you as a person. I've always wanted to know who I am, and the automatic label maker was exactly what I needed. I now know who I am and no longer have to doubt myself.

I decided to buy some beans, be a newspaper man, and grow a tail which I always knew I wanted, but the label maker gave me the validation I needed.

Tavert didn't want to talk about what his label was. He ate the printed label immediately after it printed, and ran screaming to the bathroom. He has been on some heavy drugs since then, but I'm sure he'll be fine in a day or two. He kept muttering things like "Who are these other people in my head? Can you speak one at a time? Who said that?"

All in all, the label maker was a cool experience. The old woman who was standing in the corner of the street while we were trying out the label maker was very supportive, and encouraged us to share it with the rest of you.

When the librarian of the local Inner Sunset branch Ernst Grindell Stevens died in the late 40s, it is said that his soul decided to rest for just a moment at the Little Library at Carl street and finish reading the books in that store. But new books kept coming, and Ernst kept reading. Every day after sunset when the street light comes on, one can still hear the distinct sounds of paper flipping in the backdrop of the leaves rustling on top of the sweet bay tree next to the library.

He leaves sticky notes pasted to any book that is placed in the shelves with his note of appreciation for the stories inside. He especially loves vampire books and draws little hearts next to the character names he loves. It is against the library policy to leave notes, but the patrons rarely mind it, and consider a good luck charm. The Kovac twins, Dana and Nareem next door have been keeping the library stocked with the latest vampire novels and place a cup of hot chocolate every Christmas. Ernst is no sweet tooth, but is a fan of the holidays and appreciates this token of friendship by drawing doodles of dinosaurs in the last pages of all the science books he knows Nareem reads with great interest.