#coleb

A forgotten smile, a forgotten laugh, a forgotten hope, that’s what she is. Atleast, for her. But the world sees otherwise. The world sees everything she’s pretending to be. A big smile, a loud laugh and a life that’s full of hope.

She doesn’t understand, she doesn’t understand how someone like her could deserve everything she’s got now. So, instinct kicked in. She push them away, she doesnt get attach, she thinks they were monsters coming to get her.

They don’t understant her, so they ignore her even when the signs where clearer than the sun.

Booze, parties, sex, drugs. Every night. Booze, parties, sex, drugs. Over and over.

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'I love you' he said one day. Unexpectedly, so sudden. But she heard. Oh, she heard. ‘What!?’ ‘I love you!’ He said louder. ‘You….you can’t…you…you don’t know me!’ She cried. ‘But i do! I loved you ever since i first laid my eyes on you, and when i heard your voice? My god! When i heard your voice. It just became stronger. And then i saw your smile, heard your laugh and got to know you. And i just know, that i’ll never be the same again.’ ‘Stop! Please, stop!’ Desperately, she said. Not wanting to hear anymore, she covered her ears while shaking her head.

Love. What’s that? It sounds so….. foriegn. Even though all her life, people treat her like she’s the queen, like she rules the world because she’s rich, famous. But no one, no one has ever said those words before. Even her mother. Now this boy, this boy! How dare he? Is standing infront of her saying those words. It’s unnatural being loved. She’s confused.

'But how? How could you love me? How could anyone love me? No one loves me, no one ever does!' She's crying now, while she's saying this. ‘Shhhh… I, I love you. I see you Demi. I see through your bullshit. I always have.’ He’s not afraid anymore, he held her til she falls asleep in his arms.

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'Stop pushing me away!' He shouted at her, because no matter how many times he screamed she doesn't seem to hear him. But this is the last straw. She knows this is the last straw, so like the idiot she always have been, she said, ‘Then leave! I don’t need you!’ He looked at her, for so long. Checking signs if she’s bluffing. But she’s not. So, he left.

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WHERE ARE YOU?! COME BACK! I NEED YOU! FINE, DONT ANSWER ME! ASSHOLE! I LOVE YOU, PLEASE. For the hundredth time, his phone is ringing again. Her text becomes desperate as more text comes in. But he doesn’t reply, even though it’s killing him. He knows she needs this.

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She’s desperate, she doesnt understand this. She thought this is what she wanted, she was just giving him an easy way out. But no matter what she does, he always stays. But what she’s done. Idiot! That was a bold move and that caused her. Now, she doesn’t  know what to do.

She’s desperate. Intoxicated to numb the pain, like before, like what she’s always done, like what she’s always doing, she hid under the bed, hoping no one finds her, but then he does.

His was the last face she saw, his was the last hands she held before darkness came to her. And that was sweet. Oh, so sweet.