#coices

I have been running. My whole life I have been trying to escape from my past. I’ve been hiding and lying to keep my former life a secret. But slowly its unraveling. Soon the people around me will learn the truth, for there is only so long I can keep up the act. I pretend to not know, to not understand. But soon I will have to come clean.

I sit by the pool alone. It’s dark and everyone else is inside the hotel, most likely asleep. Lately I can’t sleep, nor do I want to. There is too much to think and worry about. How do we get off this island? What happened to Raj, Grace and Diego? Who found out the truth about me? And how? I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m going to have to start from scratch. Build a new identity. I can trust that Rouke has already contained this situation and has figured a way to cover this whole mess up. There’s no reason to try to convince anyone that this all happened, we’d only end up in a pyche ward for it. Unfortunately he knows my secret and I can’t let it get out. Estela already wants him dead so I just have to make sure she succeeds in her mission. That way I can get away again.

I hear a noise from behind me and quickly turn around to see where the noise came from. Coming towards me is Jake. We had been hooking up regularly since we time travelled. It’s been a nice distraction to say the least. Men like him have always been my type. Neither one of us really looking for a serious commitment, noether one of us capable. He has his own life to get back to so I doubt he would even want to progress in our “relationship”. It helps that he thinks of me as just some young girl in college with no life experiences, still able to settle down and have a some what normal life. I plan on keeping our envolement purely physical, although I believe his feelings have grown stronger.

“Hey Princess, what ya doin out so late?” He takes a seat next to me and I hand him the bottle.

“Nothing important. What about you? Figured you’d need your beauty sleep.”

“Haven’t you seen me?” He gestures to himself smiling.

“Yes unfortunately.” I tease back taking the bottle back from him. I finish off the rest of the liquor.

“So you gonna tell me why your really out here and not sleeping?” I turn to face him and see the concern in his eyes.

“I just simply needed some fresh air and leg room. Its gets claustrophobic in my relatively small room.” I respond looking at him directly in the eye. I speak in a clear manner, slightly smiling at him.

“I know you haven’t been sleeping.”

I know he’s gonna keep pushing, because he cares but I can’t afford to let him in. So I’m just going to have to put my acting skills to work. I take a long sign as if what I’m about to say I’ve been holding in and finally opening up to him.

“I’m worried about Diego, Grace and Raj.” I look at Jake with an expression conveying sadness and worry.

“I know you were close with Diego,  but constantly  worrying and not sleeping won’t help him.”

The truth is that I got close to Diego to blend in. I couldn’t make myself be seen, and being the girl always alone tends to give you away. So I saw a boy all alone on the first day of college. He was in most of my classes and I sat next to him at the end of the day and struck up a conversation. Turns out we both love movies and tv shows and were able to bond. I do consider Diego a friend but I have to keep him at arms length, I can’t allow myself to get close and attached. Of course I’m concerned with his safety and well being, just like Grace and Raj. But I can’t lose sight about this whole situation. I have to stay focused for my past has come back to haunt me.

I turn to look away from Jake, my gaze focusing on the water infront of me. “I know, you’re right. I just can’t sleep knowing that he’s out there in the jungle or dead.”

“Wow, you know your a great actress I’ll give you that much. No wonder why you fooled all of us.”

I look back up at him still trying to maintain my cover.

“What? What are you talking about?” I make out I’m confused, lost.