#coffin pricks

6/4/24.

I've bought a few things through Green Noise Records over the years. But I notice and/or read Marty Winch's weekly missives religiously. Marty is an international punk savant and I trust his opinion/taste completely.

So, when I saw an email announcing Coffin Pricks "Semi-Perfect Crimes" I immediately opened a Bandcamp tab and started listening. Apparently this Chicago based band was a staple in the early 2010s. "Group Home Haircut" immediately made me think of Eddy Current Suppression Ring at their best. Funny, I literally just perused the Bandcamp notes and see that Mikey Young mastered all this last September.

This also recalls the work of current bands like Guardian Singles.

From the upcoming Group Home Haircut 45 on Stationary (Heart) Records (Out March 2012). Recorded and mixed by Mike Lust at Phantom Manor, Chicago, …

I’m not a big “luck” person. This includes the quarterback for the Colts and his Amish beard, inanimate objects that somehow determine my fate, and anything related to the band Social Distortion and their fan base, who I refer to as “bad luckers.” You know those folks who use too many hair products, have an obsession with flames and old vehicles, and love getting the number 13 tattooed on themselves. 

A thrift store find that I acquired towards the end of the year 2012 almost made me rethink my hatred of luck though. Slightly oversized, in excellent condition and free of the normal scents associated with second hand clothing, this US Army surplus jacket seemed like a steal at $20.00. It was also one of my few forays into wearing camouflage, so on this particular day, I decided I needed a military pattern in my wardrobe. 

In thinking about this time period and that jacket, I’m reminded the streak of mostly terrible things that occurred when I wore it. The frequency was so often, that it was surmised that whomever owned it before me was probably an awful person, whose soul left their body and was haunting the sleeves of the coat. Time and time again, I’d slide my arms into the ghost outerwear and something would go awry. 

That made me think of the Skull Kontrol tune “Camouflage” and how it would perfectly compliment my entry today about bad clothing choices and good songs. Unfortunately, no one has uploaded this track to YouTube and I decided it wasn’t important to have it accompany my text, as vocalist Chris Thomson has appeared on several great songs, none of them about evil jackets… at least to my knowledge. 

Monorchid, Circus Lupus, the blazing hardcore of Fury, Red Eyed Legends, and other short lived endeavors, Thompson’s vocals always snarl like Darby Crash jammed up Mark E. Smith’s anus, while maintaining a character unique to himself. “Group Home Haircut,” is a ripper, channelling The Damned at their best and is also a cut I really enjoyed when I was wearing camo and continually smashing into things. 

Unfortunately for me The Coffin Pricks broke up, leaving us with only a handful of songs, but luckily the army coat was damaged during a small war with New York City and retired forever.  So wait, did I really think this jacket possessed me? No fucking way. You see, I am a man of logic and science—even at my most insane. Some forgotten solider was not forcing my hand, causing tragedy. Nope, I was just being a legit maniac a.k.a. the type of dude that normally wears such a coat. Overly drunk and intimidating homeless people, damaged discharged soldiers including John J. Rambo, or just people that are wearing the patterns to look tough, not fashionable. These folks dig camo, I was being disengenuous by wearing it.

Chris Thomson of The Monorchid, c. 1998*

Wow. These Soundcloud tracks just do not like me for some reason. Nice chunk of R. Stevie Moore today but there is MUCH more to be heard from this guy. I mean, just look at this Bandcamp page! Big ol' thanks to Ricardio from the short side of the bridge and his friends Moe & Jim, who may or may not be from the bridge as well. Hope you guys enjoyed sleepin' in the Soul Kitchen.

(Artist - Song - Album)

1. The Happy Dragon-Band - 3-D, Free (Electronic) - S/T 2. DIIV - Air Conditioning - Oshin *** 3. DâM-FunK - Happy - N/A (Soundcloud) *** 4. Mac DeMarco - My Kind of Woman - 2 ***  5. Mount Eerie - The Place Lives - Clear Moon *** 6. Dignan Porch - I'm Certain I'll Die - Tendrils 

7. Cleaners From Venus - Only a Shadow - Midnight Cleaners 8. R. Stevie Moore - Colliding Circles - Glad Music 9. R. Stevie Moore - Teen Routines - Clack! 10. R. Stevie Moore - Manufacturers - Swing And A Miss 11. R. Stevie Moore - Answers - Aviation

12. Holograms - ABC City - S/T *** 13. The Del-Byzanteens - Girl's Imagination - Lies To Live By 14. Holograms - Apostate - S/T *** 15. Sleepies - Terra Firma - Weird Wild World *** 16. Dinosaur Jr. - Just Like Heaven - You're Living All Over Me

17. Dinosaur Jr. - The Lung - You're Living All Over Me 18. X - Soul Kitchen - Los Angeles 19. Coffin Pricks - Group Home Haircut - 7" *** 20. Ty Segall Band - Muscle Man - Slaughterhouse *** 21. Flamin' Groovies - City Lights - Teenage Head

23. Giant Drag - Slayer - Hearts And Unicorns 24. The Vaselines - Son of a Gun - Enter The Vaselines 25. The History of Apple Pie - Do It Wrong - Do It Wrong ***

*** Indicates HOT NEW MUSIX

It will be brief but, far reaching:

July 26th- Duluth ....RT Quinlans STNNNG w/ TFB & Seawhores 

July 27th-St Paul, MN...Turf Club,  STNNNG w/ Coffin Pricks & Bombay Sweets

July 28th-Wichita KS....ICT FEST, STNNNG w/ a ton of bands