#codependency cw

Once revered as a reputable physician, Talus' world fell apart when the love of his life, Vespera, was taken by a mysterious illness that cannot be cured.

It had been a long arduous process. More of a gradual fading away, a withering, in front of his eyes with each passing day. None of the treatments, medicine, healing practises he could afford helped. The nature of Vespera's sickness was not discovered by doctors but by a spiritual practitioner instead.

Vespera had been cursed.

The only way to prevent her death was for her to consume the flesh of the pure-spirited. Each life sacrificed was each year gained. Desperate not to lose her, Talus wages a losing battle with his own conscience each time he succeeds in luring victims to their abode.

With each soul consumed, Vespera herself began to change. She grew cold. Cruel and malicious. Nothing like the woman he once adored. Yet Talus found himself unable to leave her side no matter how abhorrent she'd became.

When her skin split and muscles atrophied, tearing from bone, he stayed. When she cracked and reshaped her appearance to ensnare prey, he stayed. When she started craving more and more, he stayed.

Over time, Talus himself started experiencing changes. How could he not after what feels like an eternity of being immersed in her malicious energy? The process of demonic cultivation in him may be slow but it is inevitable. The guilt and horror he feels cannot be overwritten by the exhilaration of transcending human limitations. It tears at his mind, his soul, his heart- gouging until what is left is mush.

Maybe a part of him, what is left of him, still wishes he could have done things differently. Even as they fed. Even as they took part in the Night parade with 100 demons, ghouls and spirits alike- descending upon villages and gorging themselves.

Their unnatural relationship wasn't made to last despite it all. Three times Vespera was struck down by the exorcists. Three times she arose once again. Then, at last, her remains are shattered and what hold she had over him vanishes for good.

What finally gets LK to break out of their codependency are whispers that it’s sinister that the twins are so attached to each other. A leopard doesn’t change its spots, and the people of Ayodhya do not stop gossiping. No one seems to consider that brothers who had their lives uprooted might naturally cling to the one person they know in an unfamiliar place.

Given Gertrude’s background (under servitude to the Van Dahls for years, being spurned as Elijah’s lover, feeling like she had to leave and having to navigate the harsh streets of Gotham by herself), it’s also very likely that she isn’t well to do. It’s inevitable that mother and son would cling to one another over the years for support- which could be perceived as a form of  codependency. Perhaps Gertrude felt bad that Oswald was born without ideal conditions in life and without the presence of a father so she began to spoil and dote on him whenever she was able to. Her excessive doting likely imprinted on him, leading to him taking comfort and viewing her as a saint who could do no wrong- this also unfortunately lead to him feeling expectant of the same level of appreciation/love from others and being absolutely incensed when he does not receive so. Oswald often has trouble perceiving neutral affection and only takes to people doting upon him in idolatry, regardless of whether or not he truly deserves it.

In her recent years, Gertrude appears to experience difficulty tethering herself to the present from time to time. She could be described as someone who prefers living in the version of her own world that fits her best- the decorations and knickknacks in her house are reminiscent to how one would imagine a life of luxury would be, almost fantasy like until you notice the chipped paint and realise things aren't quite right. She's often confused when out of her element and seems to have the most clarity when she's focused on her darling son. During her scene with Maroni confronting her about secretly knowing Oswald’s true misdeeds, she appears confused and agitated despite the fact that she clearly knows enough to doubt, and becomes so distraught by having it presented to her that she passes out. At her best, she is theatrical and fanciful, as if she fancies herself playing the lead of a role in her own head, living in a romanticised version of her own reality. 

Dean does love Sam, and they are unusually close. That closeness was made extra due to forming via unusual circumstances but it’s love and loyalty and closeness—it’s having someone watch your back and be there always (and it’s interesting 14.12 equated them to twins).

Some siblings are like that. Some insist so hard on Sam and Dean’s uniqueness but there are siblings in the world who would die for each other, or one acted as a guidance and helped raise the other. I’ve seen posts and tweets from SPN fans who had to help parent younger siblings. Talked to SPN fans who are devoted deeply to their siblings. 

And this can be a really good thing and I see Sam and Dean’s bond as a good ting but equating the dysfunctional aspects of Sam and Dean to love is a minefield. Equating the specialness/uniqueness of Sam and Dean to the dysfunction when it’s their love and loyalty that, I feel, is the actual reason so many fans love this bond and take comfort from it. Some enjoy the codependency and if that’s their thing, they can enjoy that, I’m countering here a pov that tries to dictate this is why everyone loves it, or that everyone watches only for the sibling bond, and that without it, there is no Sam and Dean. Which honestly blows my mind, speaking as someone who’s been critical of the darker aspects of the bro bond, but also takes comfort from it, and loves it, and I have been watching SPN since the pilot. It’s not just that I don’t agree that SPN is “only about Sam and Dean.” It’s that it actually hurts my heart to see some fans claiming that their only definition is isolation, codependency, suicidal ideation, and all the dishonesty and conflict that comes along with it. That, honestly, breaks my heart on behalf of a bond that is important to me.

The love is that Sam and Dean respect and care for each other.

In fact I’d argue the bond is so strong because it survives the dysfunctions. The backbone of it endures and that’s one of its appeals. That’s because despite the problems they like each other and respect each other. They see the good in each other. Those parts aren’t codependency. Sam and Dean showing love for each other isn’t codependency. Even a lot of the pain isn’t codependency. Nor are they inherently toxic. Nor is every intense Sam and Dean emotional broment codependency or the show being a “brosonly.” There are some specific Sam and Dean plot points and scenes in a few seasons that I really, really take issue with, but it’s specific issues.

And here’s the thing: I can argue the same about Dean and Cas’s love and loyalty and how it’s stronger than their dysfunctions. Because yes there are dysfunctions in Dean and Cas’s bond. Is it the same as Sam and Dean’s? No. Do I see it as consistently healthier and more functional and less weighed down with certain baggage? Yes. And I’m tired of being shamed for being drawn to more functional dynamics, but I’m not denying Dean and Cas have dysfunctions and some dark times. But their bond transcends it, it survives it, just as with Sam and Dean, because they know the good in each other, they love each other and respect each other. All of Team Free Will thinks the others are worth saving and that is earned. Sam and Dean are an exercise in brothers by choice, not just by blood. Dean and Cas demonstrate found family--chosen brothers-in-arms.

I think Dean and Cas have a smaller, different kind of dysfunction than Sam and Dean’s...Dean and Cas aren’t codependent for one thing. Also neither was parentified for the other. Dean didn’t change Cas’s diapers. Dean wasn’t raised to believe protecting Cas specifically was his only worth. Cas lived a millennia before he knew Dean. At times I have worried about Cas’s isolation and have said he needs more than just Sam and Dean. But Dean and Cas weren’t children together huddling up against thunderstorms and their father’s harshness. Dean and Cas are each other’s rope in a storm, though, and Dean has given Cas a home, finally, after millennia.