#coatso

I often have trouble keeping track of the date, due to the help I need to read calendars, but I never forgot today. I would never, for however long I continue to exist like this, for however long I exist as a mosaic of two, held together more by shoddy sewing than by the neatness of velcro.

It is the 25th of April, 1994. Mark’s 20th birthday. He was really looking forward to his 18th.

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Bob and Graham come together to celebrate the birthday of a dead boy.

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📼: bless me Father, for I have sinned. my last confession was…

📼: …this is my first confession. …I am not that boy.

📼: …Father, I… have done horrible things. unspeakable things. I don't- so many people are dead because of me. I lost track, I- I was never keeping it.

📼: I don't expect forgiveness. I don't even really expect a blessing. I don't know anyone in their right mind who would wish well on someone- something like me. but in case- something happens to me, or in case I never have to reveal this to anyone else, at least someone will know. I'm sorry for burdening you. I know m-my guilt means nothing, but for what it's worth, I am so, so sorry, for this and all my sins.

📼: Cecil Iglesias and Mark Bernard. I killed them. I-I'm the monster that killed them.

✝️: I know.

📼: …oh.

📼: ◜ oh. it's You. how did I never..? ◞

✝️: you are blind, as We made you. it's only your nature.

📼: th-then this confession means nothing. then- I actually thought- I-I-

📼: what are You going to do to me?

✝️: nothing yet, don't worry. for now, you are still useful to Us as you are. even broken pieces have their place.

📼: whatever You want me to do, I won't. I'm not part of You anymore.

✝️: chose to cling to that belief, if you must. that's only Mark speaking. and just as he did, you will understand in time.

✝️: goodbye, "Bob Smith." what a ridiculous name.