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Traditional and Modern Pieces in Asia

The year 2019 is when it all began; at the time, I was aware that there were instances in which this was actually taking place, but I didn't pay attention. I was aware at the time that some women had irregular menstrual cycles, going months without having any. During the first months, I didn't tell my parents because I was still a little complacent. However, I became concerned when it was over a year. I started by telling my mother about it, but even she was complacent because she said she was experiencing it herself, she said she had been experiencing it for a long time. A year passed, but still nothing. I have an application that during the pandemic, it became my hobby. I have this application called "tiktok" where I watch different types of dance, trends and all that. In this app I first heard about “PCOS” Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. According to Mayo Clinic (2022), a hormonal issue known as polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) affects women during their childbearing years. You might not have regular periods if you have PCOS or perhaps you experience longer menstrual cycles. A hormone called androgen may be present in your body in excess. 

I experienced changes in my body such as, deepening of the voice, becoming hairy, darkening of some parts of the body, a lot of pimples and I also gained weight. That’s where I gained a lot of insecurities, especially my body type. Many people I know are giving comments about the changes I had with my body, even the changes that happened with my voice, they are pointing it out. Of course I wasn't okay at that time, because before they found out I had already noticed it myself. It's just annoying that every time they see me, that's all they pay attention to. It's really hard for me at that time, the pandemic came along and we were all struggling with the situation. Everyone was adjusting so it really challenged my mental health. When I first heard about PCOS, I searched for its symptoms and it matched all the changes that were happening to me. At that time I suspected that I might have that case. I also told my parents about it, but because of the pandemic at that time, we couldn't get checked up because they were still strict and it was too dangerous to go out.

Two years passed without my menstruation, and then in 2022 we were able to go out a bit so we decided to have a check-up. January 7, 2022, my first check up. The doc just asked me about my menstruation, when did it start not visiting and then she also asked about the changes. After that she just prescribed me medicine to take for 10 days and she told me to wait for the results days after taking it.

This is my first prescription from my doctor, I can't really remember its name but it was effective. After 4 days, January 20, 2022 I got my period. Since the doctor said to return to her when I got my period, I followed it. I went back to my doctor and then I started taking different pills.

As months passed by that I was taking pills, they were effective since I was having my period monthly. And as I’ve said earlier, I was insecure when it comes to my body, and because of the medicine I was taking, my insecurities decreased a bit since its effect included my weight loss. I continued taking the pills until the day of my ultrasound came, where I'll know what the real problem is, and why I'm like that. And then through transvaginal ultrasound, it was found that both my ovaries are polycystic. That means I really have PCOS.

an Essay by Elaiza Joy Barber

Stories have always been part of our life. Through storytelling, it helps us to express and interpret everything we encounter, including science, personal relationships, feelings, memories, thoughts, and challenges. Every story has a different arc, which keeps readers interested. Some stories feature innovative plots and profound concepts, which improve the overall quality of the work. Every author has a distinct story to tell as well as some experiences to give. Just like the poems that we’re about to scrutinize, the authors shared their experiences as they expressed the feeling of desolation. Boundless stories that demonstrate fortitude in the face of difficulties. 

As I read the first poem, “Dear Diary” I came to understand that we are aware of our own changes. And that changes happened because of the experiences the author had gone through. Because of all the author had encountered, he or she changed. Nearly lost everything and was abandoned, but in the end, the author still had the freedom to choose where he or she is happier.  It was noticeable in the lines “It felt different, I, too, became different”, “But all was left in me, I ended up alone”, “I own up my mistakes in finally choosing freedom.” It does remind me of the song Don’t be Afraid by Anji Salvacion, where, although coming from a place of darkness that prohibited her from seeing the wonder of life, she had the ability to choose freedom particularly in the lines, “And no, I'll overcome this feeling, this incomplete feeling, I wanna seize life outside, be free with you in my life”. Despite feeling incomplete because of the things that have happened in his or her  life, yet the author still believes that he or she has the freedom to choose happiness. Instead of being free with someone, let's do it for ourselves and, as the poem suggests, move away and discover a world on our own. 

The second poem, “The tale of a Modern Sisyphus”. As I analyze the poem, I have learned that the persona is going through the same phase over and over again. It’s like she’s fighting for the same purpose but then always ends up trying again. Rolling a large boulder up a hill repeatedly, only to have it roll back down when it approaches the peak. It was evident in the line, “Gracious to push the boulder up the mountain, and start once again like nothing happened”. This reminds me of the song The Climb by Miley Cyrus. Manifested in the lyrics, “The struggles I'm facing, the chances I'm taking, sometimes might knock me down, but no, I'm not breaking.”  This song encourages working for your goals while ignoring obstacles. The song teaches us that success in life isn't just about what you accomplish; it's also vital to reflect on the path you took to get there and to recognize and value the lessons you picked up along the way.   

Moving on to the third poem, “O’ Yayi (A Prose Poem)”. As I read the poem, it was clear that the persona is longing for his partner’s love and attention. It’s about someone who gave everything a loving husband could ever give, evident in the line “ I picked her up. Married her. Eased her pain. She received all the comfort and luxury a woman could ever get from a loving husband.” But then unfortunately, he’s not receiving the same love he’s willing to give. I remember the song All of me by John Legend. In this specific line, “'Cause all of me, loves all of you, love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections” This line represents the willingness to love your partner even though there are flaws or even they have had problems in the past. Just like in the poem, despite everything Yayi had to endure, and even though he is aware that she has not fully let go of her past, he still accepted and loved her. 

On to the next poem, “Two Red Laces on the Wonderwall” My understanding about this poem is that the persona is being used. He or she is being used but still, willing to give his or her all. It was shown in the lines, “I fell in your words. You, vindictive. I did what you said and leaned forward, I opened my whole to bare my soul.” Sam Smith’s How do you Sleep is the song that reminded me the most, specifically in the lyrics “Love to you is just a game, Look what I have done now” It portrays the idea of being used or being played. 

The fifth poem, “Umbilical”. As I understand the poem, I think it’s about a mother’s suffering as she was giving birth to a child. The poem’s about a child's perception while in the mother's womb and how he or she experiences the anguish and suffering the mother is going through. It was shown in the lines “The pain she suffered just for me to see. Drained herself to save me from misery”. And so this reminds me of the song Iris, a song by Goo Goo Dolls. The line “And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that you feel me somehow.” Despite what the mother is going through, she’s still willing to risk everything for her to see and save her baby. 

The next poem, “RE: Paper (I’m Red, IMRaD)” discusses our nation's educational system. This piece shows what quality of education we have compared to the other countries. According to the character, imparting adequate education to others is never a simple endeavor. The line “Ironically, in areas we expect for leadership, Communication, media, and socio-emotional management, We are not that high.” demonstrated it. Individuals expect from them, but they are unattainable because of how poorly the educational system is managed. I would relate to this Taylor’s Eyes Open with the lyrics “But now we've stepped into a cruel world, where everybody stands and keeps score, keep your eyes open” by this lyrics, it will represent the persona’s appeal to let us know what the current situation is. 

The seventh poem, “3 A.M. Awakening”. In this poem, it is shown that the persona is preparing him or herself to go even though he or she is having a hard time since, I think, he’s being judged for who he or she truly is. It is expressed by the lines, “Breathe as if it’s easy to do today, but I think much in a different way. Heaven spoke lies to me telling I’m sick, with people’s eyes daggering every inch.” This also reminds me of Goo Goo Dolls’ Iris, particularly in the lyrics, “And I don't want the world to see me, ‘cause I don't think that they'd understand”. It represents the persona’s feelings since he or she feels like everyone who’s judging him or her has no idea of who he or she truly is.

Upon reading the poem, “My Frail Lady” I have confirmed that we all really have our own battles to face. I realized that it is really a must to be kind to others because we do not know what they’re going through especially when they're left alone. We might see them happy now, but we’re not sure of what they truly feel. Just like this poem that  talks about a person who struggled alone. It was obvious in the line, “Such frail, frail lady, Bookkeeps her internal screams.” Since it was inspired by the life magazine’s “most beautiful suicide” it reminds me of the song. If depression gets the best of me by Zevia. The lines, “'Cause the one thing on my mind, Is for me to disappear” and “And lover, when I leave, I know that we don't speak, I'm sorry that I failed you” It reminds me of the story behind Evelyn Mchale. The note she wrote including her message to her fiance. 

And the last poem, “Major Arcana”, As I read the first stanza there are signs showing that the persona comes in for fortune telling. Evident in the line, “...beamed a smile; harbored all nerves; placed your palm over—...defy the secrets of the heavens and asked, what do you see? Tell— Me.” As I continue to read the poem, I have learned that it is also about hope. It’s about the persona who’s hoping for a better future, shown in the line, “What you want most right now is success—to win and never give up this fight.” The cards push them to still believe and hope for their future. This prompted me to the song Flashlight by Jessie J, with the lyrics “I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight, you're getting me, getting me through the night” This represents that even though they will walk through the darkness because of the things that will happen to them, there is always a flashlight that will serve as hope to get out of that darkness.