This is where I put my own spin on popular AUs and tropes and assign them to characters! I did this with Daniel Craig, so now its time for Michael Rooker!
I did not reference race, gender, sexuality, or physical appearance. If I missed something, please let me know so I can change it!
Masterlist:
Yondu Udonta: fake marriage
“I have to what-now?”
“It’s pretend, dad! Ever heard of such a thing?”
“I don’t need yer lip, boy! I ain’t gonna get married fer a few thousand units!”
“How about a few hundred thousand, hubby?” Yondu whips around to face me, clearly not having heard me come in.
“Not even a few hundred thou - what in the hell did you jus’ call me?”
“According to this forged certificate - thank you, Rocket - we’re married.”
“Why you? Why me?!” If you didn’t know any better, you’d say the look on Yondu’s face was akin to panic.
“I’d do it, but I’m already with Gamora, and Kraglin -”
“Kraglin!?”
“And Kraglin can’t do it because he’s helping Drax man the ship. You were the next best thing next to Rocket.”
“I am Groot!”
“And Groot,”
“Stars above, boy, you ain’t never hearin’ the end of this.” Giving you a scathing look, the man brushed passed you to go who-knows-where and sulk.
Merle Dixon: wild west
“So ya ran away, huh?”
“No, I -”
“Sounds ta me like ya ran away.”
“And what would you know about running away?”
“Believe me, sugar.” He leans into my space with a crooked smile. “I know more about runnin’ than you can imagine.”
“Wait -!” I gasp, realization dawning on me quickly. “Are you a - a - what’s the word - a crook?”
“A crook?” His smile turns into a look of exaggerated offense. “Why that’s not a very nice thing for someone as fancy as you to say.”
“Well, you certainly don’t look like a cowboy.”
“An’ the hell’s a cowboy look like to you?”
“For one, he has a hat.”
“Maybe I left it somewhere.”
“So you forgot it?”
“No wonder yer lost - you enjoy walkin’ ‘round circles too damn much.”
“I thought I had run away?”
Clyde Dutton: magic
"An’ you’re sure these ain’t messed up with somethin’?”
“Yes - I know the dealer from way back.”
“I know plenty of folks from Way Back too. Don’t mean I trust ‘em.”
“Well you can trust this guy.” I tap my fingers on the desk. “Besides, have I ever done you wrong?”
“You don’t want me to answer that question.”
“Yeah, yeah, you sourpuss.”
“Your customer service leaves a lot to be desired.”
“Hey! It’s my charming personality that keeps bringing people back!” Flashing him a grin, I quickly take stock of his purchase. “...Some of these charms are pretty heavy duty, Dutton. What are you chasing - a wyvern?”
“Yup.” The comment was meant to be a joke, but the finality of his tone quickly sobered me up.
“Are you crazy? The last time you -”
“- tried to chase one down, I nearly got myself killed.” He sighs. “I know. But what happened was that I made a mistake and I don’t plan on doin’ it again.”
“And you’re sure this will be enough?”
“What - you tryna rip me off?”
“No, you ass, I’m trying to make sure you get out okay.”
“It’s plenty. Trust me.”
“If you say so - I gotta make sure my favorite customer comes back, don’t I?”
-----
I hope you all enjoyed this! I have about three requests in the works - three of which are on James Bond. I’ll see y’all in the next one!
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I, personally, wear glasses all the time because I’m near-sighted, but most works relating to glasses presume that they’re for reading. Well, not anymore because I wrote for both near-sighted and far-sighted folk. I’m going to try and do this for the Daniel Craig characters as well!
I did not reference race, gender, sexuality, or physical appearance. If I missed something, please let me know so I can change it!
Masterlist:
Yondu Udonta:
With glasses:
“Didn’t know you wore them spectacle things.”
“You mean glasses?”
“Same thing.”
Without glasses:
“Put yer damn spectacles back on! I don’t got no time fer lazin’ about!”
“I have contacts in.”
“Don’t sass me! Now get back ta work!”
Merle Dixon:
With glasses:
“Ya look like one of them sexy librarians.”
“Oh shut up, Merle.”
“What? You gonna mark me down fer bein’ too loud?”
Without glasses:
“Ya scared the shit outta me! Thought you was somebody else...”
“What? I’m sorry - could you say that one more time?”
“Shut the hell up, dumbass.”
Clyde Dutton:
With glasses:
“You sure those are the right prescription?”
“It’s a little off, but they’re cute, right?”
“Cute don’t matter if you can’t see fer shit.”
Without glasses:
"Did ya loose ‘em?”
“No, they were broken last night with that stupid centipede.”
“Shit. Let’s get you some new ones, then.”
-----
Weird, I know. I hope the format was easy to understand? I’m a little worried that it might be a bit confusing, but I might just be overthinking things. I know this wasn’t exactly what y’all were hoping for from me, but I hope you all enjoyed nonetheless!
I already did this for Daniel Craig, so here’s the Michael Rooker edition! Like the last one, it is split between ‘public’ and ‘private’, but due to the nature of Love and Monsters, Clyde Dutton’s won’t be. I hope you all enjoy!
I did not reference race, gender, sexuality, or physical appearance. If I missed something, please let me know so I can change it!
Warnings: brief mention of unwanted attention, sexual themes, alcohol
Masterlist:
Physical Affection (DC):
Yondu Udonta:
Public:
- Any PDA has to be strategic when he’s around his men because the last thing either one of you wants is anyone getting any ideas. Yondu also leans on the possessive side anyhow, so it works out. This comes through as an arm around the waist/hips and ass grabbing.
- If he’s meeting up with a client, he typically won’t indicate that the two of you are together unless they’re giving you unwanted attention (or he’s feeling particularly possessive that day).
- Typically, there’s no kissing together while on the ship, but while the two of you are at a bar or a club? He likes to get a booth, hold you snug against his side with a beer in hand, and make-out.
Private:
- While he can’t look soft in front of his men, he can with you. Poor thing is incredibly touch-starved and was initially trying to hide it, but then he discovered cuddles and he was screwed. He likes to be the big spoon, but he very much enjoys laying on top of you with his head on your chest. He finds your heart beat to be comforting (not that he’d tell you that).
- Expect Yondu to play with your hands, fiddle with your hair, rub circles on your back... The list goes on, really. He also thinks it’s fun to tickle you, but if you don’t like it, he’ll reserve it only for when you’re being a pest.
- There’s nothing better than you undressing him just because. The intimacy of the act overwhelmed him the first time you did it. He was tired and already half asleep, but then you just took care of him. He barely registered it at the time, but in the morning he had so many fuzzy feelings.
Merle Dixon:
Public:
- This man is shameless. Any embarrassment on your part only fuels him on - especially when it comes to ass-slapping. Ass-slapping is his specialty - no holds barred. It hurts and he knows it. Jerk.
- He thinks hand holding is for wimps, but he might indulge once or twice... That being said, he does like to wrap an arm around your shoulders as you walk around.
- The two of you are usually pretty busy throughout the day with your tasks and chores, so you don’t see a lot of each other. When you get to see the other in passing, he’ll give you a pat on the shoulder to see if you’re doing okay.
Private
- Despite being a bit touch-starved, Merle needs to take things slow in the cuddling department. He’s still wrapping his head around the fact you want to sleep with him - like sleep sleep, not just sex.
- He likes to watch you as you do your chores or get ready for the day, but he likes getting in your way even more (especially when you laugh at his antics).
- Merle enjoys stretching out with a good book and will never complain if you settle down beside him and rest your head on his shoulder. It’s even better when you read out loud to him.
Clyde Dutton:
- Survival mode is on 24/7, so you can’t get too distracted. The second you get lost in the moment is the second things can go bad, so cuddling and hand-holding are kept to a minimum.
- You also have a kid with you, making any intimate moments (of any sort) impossible. Neither of you mind, though.
- When the three of you take the time to rest, you’ll rest your head on his shoulder or his hand will go on your knee. Sometimes he’ll press a kiss to your temple.
- Clyde is an ‘act of service’ kind of guy. His instinct is to take care of you, so it’s like second-nature for him to give you his blanket or cook your food. You pay him back in kind by taking the first watch or laying out his socks.
- You like to steal his hat from time to time and since Minnow thinks it’s funny, he makes a show of being super annoyed about it.
- After a particularly harrowing experience, he’ll rest his forehead against yours. A group hug with Minnow will follow soon after.
-----
This was a little tricky, but I had so much fun writing this! In the next couple of days, I do have a little Merle oneshot planned for y’all, so look out for that!
I realize that I’ve made myself known for writing Daniel Craig characters, but after the amount of love my Yondu headcanons got... Can you blame me? I’ve recently gotten into Michael Rooker and - like Craig - he doesn’t get nearly enough love, so I hope you all like this! It’s not a lot, but it’s a start. I hope you all enjoy!
I did not reference race, gender, sexuality, or physical appearance. If I missed something, please let me know so I can change it!
Warnings: Merle Fucking Dixon
Masterlist:
Yondu Udonta:
- Since you’re in outer space, how much do you want to bet that it’s acid rain - the kind that melts skin? Or gives rashes? Maybe it’ll turn your skin yellow?
- Yeah, Yondu isn’t about to potentially risk your life over some measly rain shower (he nearly learned the hard way with Peter). You are gonna stay inside the ship - or wherever you are - until it blows over and then some.
- On the rare occasion that you really do have to go outside mid shower, he’s going to bundle you up so none of your skin is exposed and you can hardly breathe.
- On the even rarer occasion that the rain won’t somehow permanently injure you, it’s kinda fun! At first you’re worried, because what if you loose all your hair or turn pink ? But when you turn to Yondu and he has that grin on his face, you know you’ll be fine.
- He thinks it’s cute when you jump in the puddles or stick your tongue out to taste it (and excitedly exclaim that it tastes like lemonade). If you’re underdressed, he’ll give you his coat.
- Yondu swears up and down you’re not making him soft, but if he had to imagine what ‘soft’ felt like, it has to be similar to the feeling he gets when you grab his hand and pull it into your pocket so he doesn’t get cold.
Merle Dixon:
- Getting caught in the rain with Merle is both the best and the worst thing to happen. It’s the best thing because, when it comes to surviving out in the wild, who’s the best to rough it out with? But it’s also the worst because then he gets a front-row seat to how you look completely soaked - and he has no problem informing you of that.
- Of course, it also works both ways because it’s not often you get an excuse to see his muscles.
- Anyway. If there’s shelter, the two of you take it - especially if you think it’s going to last the night. He starts a fire and you share some of your rations. The two of you talk about this and that - mostly about work. He shares a bit about himself and you do the same.
- If it’s especially cold, he does get worried that you’re going to freeze. It’s one of the only times you’d ever seen him offer body heat without any ulterior motives.
- If the two of you are at Woodbury when the rain hits, he’ll grab your hand and high-tail it home, laughing the entire way.
- Either way, the night ends with your head on his shoulder and your fingers intertwined. The rain, while inconvenient, offers the two of you some time to spend together.
Clyde Dutton:
- If it were just him, he’d rough it out no problem, but he has a kid an you to worry about. He gives you his hat because you need it more than him - it helps keep the rain out of your eyes - and makes sure that you layer up.
- If the rain is especially hard, and the three of you still haven’t found shelter, then you, Minnow, and Clyde will hold hands. Even in the cold, Clyde’s hands are always warm.
- All three of you pitch the tent together. Clyde thinks that it’ll be alright staying in one place for so long because the water will wash away any tracks and smell. It’s also imperative that your socks are taken off to dry.
- Clyde will have you tucked into his side as you cuddle, listening to the rain hitting the tent. He’ll run his fingers through your hair or rub your back comfortingly.
- Sometimes the three of you will share stories about your lives before the monsters attacked. Clyde proves himself to be quite the storyteller when he wants to be. It’s nice to see him so relaxed.
- Safety and survival always comes first, but when life sends you the rare quiet moment of peace? You take it without hesitation because who knows when the next time will be.
-----
I hope you all enjoyed! I think I’ll be reworking my masterlist soon, so look out for that! Thank you so much for the comments and asks! They make me go all squishy inside!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I really went all out for Yondu... It’s not like I didn’t put any effort in the other two, it’s just how it ended up. Oh well. I hope you all enjoy!
I did not reference race, gender, sexuality, or physical appearance. If I missed something, please let me know so I can change it!
Warnings: Merle Dixon
Masterlist:
Nailpolish Headcanons (DC):
Yondu Udonta:
Color: crimson, black
- The concept of nail polish is pretty universal, but the social implications of it vary galaxy to galaxy. In some places men absolutely cannot wear it and in others, they’re the only ones that do.
- Being a ravager, any kind of cosmetic is seen as something only soft people use. Of course, there seems to be a fine line between war paint and eyeshadow...
- Yondu thought it was kinda sexy seeing you kill someone with glittery nails, so when you asked him if he’d let you do his, he wasn’t completely opposed.
- No glitter, no fancy designs, no neon...
- He had no idea that you had to wait for it to dry, so if it weren’t for your quick thinking (and reflexes) he would’ve ruined his leathers pretty much immediately. The whole waiting and not moving thing definitely put a damper on the experience for him.
- Anyone who stares at his nails too long get a harsh glare. That being said, on the rare occasion that he does get compliments on them, he’ll be in a good mood for the rest of the day. Kraglin is the one who tells you about it because Yondu refuses to give you any satisfaction.
- He looks badass and he knows it.
7/10 - It’s a love-hate relationship.
Merle Dixon:
(A/N): I am so sorry, I could not resist with this gif...
Color: clear
- He thought you were joking when you suggested it. When he realized you weren’t, he said something homophobic, then went back to sharpening his knife.
- He says he might let you do his toes if - and only if - it’s clear. Of course he says it knowing how gross his feet are.
- Thinks it’s ridiculous that you find the time to do your nails. It’s the apocalypse.
0/10 - Literally the worst.
Clyde Dutton:
Color: tan, deep purple
- Minnow found some nail polish in a place the three of you decided to crash in and insisted that she do yours. Of course you ended up doing hers as well - only for the both of you to start ganging up on Clyde.
- He’s hesitant, but with two pairs of puppy-dog eyes and pouting, he eventually gives in.
- It ends up being one of the activities the three of you when holed up in a safe space. The one rule is that either Clyde or you have to wait until the other’s nails are completely dried before it’s their turn. It’s a safety thing.
- He doesn’t care about the color. What does it matter? Besides, if it makes Minnow happy even for a few moments, he’ll let her do whatever.
10/10 - He’s a good dad.
-----
Not gonna lie, I kinda want to write a one-shot where you paint Yondu’s nails... Thoughts?
