#clus

Hallo-hallo-hallo! Bertie Wooster sent the first part of "Clustering Around Young Bingo". I'm trying to read this letter but my 14-yo cat is demanding attention.

The moment I saw Bertie was writing and article about men's clothes I knew some fight will start. Typical marital fashion discussion.

“No, Jeeves,” I said, firmly, “it’s no use. When we Woosters are adamant, we are⁠—well, adamant, if you know what I mean.” “Very good, sir.”

I love how Bertie talks about "we Woosters". His family is... unique...

It's nice to know something about the Little couple, after so fast marriage I was curious about their married life. And they need a housemaid.

“Yes. The one now in office apparently runs through the objets d’art like a typhoon, simoom, or sirocco. So if you know any⁠—” “I know a great many, sir. Some intimately, others mere acquaintances.”

She sounds like my mum

Mrs. Little is here!

She greeted me with the warmth due to the old family friend, in spite of the fact that I hadn’t been round to the house for a goodish while.

I'm so happy for Bingo and happy to see that Bertie has a good relationship with Rosie, even after he stole her identity (!)

The Little household may be weak on housemaids, but it is right there when it comes to cooks. Somewhere or other some time ago Bingo’s missus managed to dig up a Frenchman of the most extraordinary vim and skill. A most amazing Johnnie who dishes a wicked ragoût. Old Bingo has put on at least ten pounds in weight since this fellow Anatole arrived in the home.

10 lbs = 4.53592 kg

I am not much of a lad for my relatives as a general thing, but I’ve always been very pally with Aunt Dahlia. She married my Uncle Thomas⁠—between ourselves a bit of a squirt⁠—the year Bluebottle won the Cambridgeshire; and they hadn’t got halfway down the aisle before I was saying to myself, “That woman is much too good for the old bird.” Aunt Dahlia is a large, genial soul, the sort you see in dozens on the hunting-field. 

Aunt Dahlia is a nice person, but I don't like how she talks about Jeeves. Also, why everybody ask Jeeves for his help? Is he employment agency? A philosopher? A relationship counselor? Well, he's smart but this is a bit too much.

Who was that lad they used to try to make me read at Oxford? Ship⁠—Shop⁠—Schopenhauer. That’s the name. A grouch of the most pronounced description. Well, Uncle Thomas, when his gastric juices have been giving him the elbow, can make Schopenhauer look like Pollyanna.

Arthur Schopenhauer: One of the biggest philosophers of the Philosophical pessimism.

Pollyanna: novel by American author Eleanor H. Porter . "Pollyanna" has become a byword for someone who, like the title character, has an unfailingly optimistic outlook; a subconscious bias towards the positive is often described as the Pollyanna principle.

The dinner was good but I wanna know about Rosie's article

“It’s about me!” “You?” “Yes, me! Me! And do you know what it’s called? It is called ‘How I Keep the Love of My Husband-Baby.’ ”

I'm trying so hard to not laugh but it's impossible! Now my cat is mad because she woke up.

Two women fighting for a cook and one man fighting for his pride, all of them asking Jeeves for advice. Who will win? I don't know, but Bingo is the one who risk more in this story.

“If it does I shall have to resign from my clubs, grow a beard, and become a hermit. I shall not be able to face the world.”

Bingo, there's always the chance of becoming a comrade again~

What ho! Bertie Wooster sent a letter!. Time to prepare some tea and read all the gossip! Apparently the first plan didn't go well

“Yes; that cook-pinching business. Jeeves tells me he saw Anatole last night, and Anatole refused to leave.” “But surely Aunt Dahlia had the sense to offer him more than he was getting with you?” “The sky was the limit, as far as she was concerned. Nevertheless, he refused to skid. It seems he’s in love with our parlourmaid.”

Anatole is in love, don't you dare to break his heart! Engage Anatole and the parlourmaid is a good idea.

“It can’t be worked. If your aunt engaged our parlourmaid she would have to sack her own, wouldn’t she?” “Well?” “Well, if she sacks her parlourmaid, it will mean that the chauffeur will quit. He’s in love with her.” “With my aunt?” “No, with the parlourmaid. And apparently he’s the only chauffeur your uncle has ever found who drives carefully enough for him.” I gave it up. I had never imagined before that life below stairs was so frightfully mixed up with what these coves call the sex complex. The personnel of domestic staffs seemed to pair off like characters in a musical comedy.

This is a good soap opera!

Bingo has an idea and it to steal the article~ I love Bingo's enthusiasm but his ideas are a bit dangerous, and we know what happens when they don't follow Jeeves' plans.

“Now listen, Bingo,” I said. “I’m frightfully sorry for you and all that, but I must firmly draw the line at burglary. I⁠—” He gazed at me, astonished and hurt. “Is this Bertie Wooster speaking?” he said in a low voice. “Yes, it is!” “But, Bertie,” he said gently, “we agreed that you were at school with me.”

Run away Bertie!!! Unless you are ready to pull a Raffles & Bunny with Jeeves. In that case I propose Jeeves as AJ Raffles and Wooster as Bunny Manders. Going alone could be a good idea, but I'm not sure if it will work. It's pretty obvious that Bertie is so nervous about this

I stood for a moment, listening. Everything seemed to be all right. I was apparently alone in the world. In fact, I was so much alone that the atmosphere seemed positively creepy. You know how it is on these occasions. 

Yeah, the calm before the storm... a table with a vase, two framed photographs, a saucer, a lacquer box and a jar of potpourri.

Bertie old chap, you can't expect that the parlourmaid would lie when she haven't see you before!

I looked at the girl with positive loathing. How she could have inspired affection in anyone, even a French cook, beat me. Not that she was a bad looking girl, mind you. Not at all. On another and happier occasion I might even have thought her rather pretty. But now she seemed one of the most unpleasant females I had ever encountered.

And then there was another bit of a lull. And suddenly I found myself by the window, and, by Jove, it was six inches open at the bottom. And the world beyond looked so bright and sunny and⁠—Well, I don’t claim that I am a particularly swift thinker, but once more something seemed to whisper “Outside for Bertram!” I slid my fingers nonchalantly under the sash, gave a hefty heave, and up she came. And the next moment I was in a laurel bush, feeling like the cross which marks the spot where the accident occurred.

At least this escape was successful, and Bertie learnt that being a thief is hard, even with the old bulldog courage of the Woosters. Will you try it again in the future?

“Never again, Jeeves!” I said. “Never again!” “Well, sir⁠—” “No, never again!” “Well, sir⁠—”

Let's be honest, I don't believe in your word, Wooster.

“What do you mean, ‘Well, sir’? What are you driving at?” “Well, sir, Mr. Little is an extremely persistent young gentleman, and yours, if I may say so, sir, is a yielding and obliging nature⁠—” “You don’t think that young Bingo would have the immortal rind to try to get me into some other foul enterprise? “I should say that it was more than probable, sir.”

Leave it to Jeeves, Bertie. Go to the countryside and have rest there. Run away from the gossip and enjoy your youth! [I just read the two versions of The Picture of Dorian Gray, don't blame me~]

“That the girl, in a previous situation some little time back, had been a colleague of Anatole, sir. And Anatole, as is the too frequent practice of these Frenchmen, had made love to her. In fact, they were, so I understood it, sir, formally affianced until Anatole disappeared one morning, leaving no address, and passed out of the poor girl’s life. 

Oh lalà~ Anatole is a womanizer~

Jeeves has the power of gossip!!! And it was used for the great good!!! (?) Can we appreciate the way Jeeves moves everything on this case? He's like a spider on his cobweb, ready to see use all his knowledge and the gossip to get everything, and he get money from everybody. So happy to see that he's not using that brilliant mind for piramidal schemes.

Next story comes courtesy of Jeeves, that sounds interesting <3