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So much of trying obscenely hard to be Helpful and Perfect was always built on the internal thing of "no value without hard work, feeling bad just proves there's value if this is functioning"
kinda just... assuming the natural state of being messy if one is a mess... Turns out burning yourself out doesn't help others even, it was only ever to satiate the pride
need to be weak... Need to remember to have value, but also accept that value by letting myself be sad or messy..
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Cute gender neutral things to call your partner:
Autistic Pokemon trainers stimming by clicking the Pokeball button to enlarge and shrink the Pokeball repeatedly
okay so I'm getting Many inbox messages asking for support for people suffering in gaza and some of them are saying directly things like "if you don't donate at least $10 to this cause you are contributing to my daughter's death"
and I just cannot mentally function around that with Moral OCD problems so I'm closing my inbox for now
I have to make this post to State It Firmly and have it set in my mind, but due to OCD stuff and general past experiences, if a post -- no matter how important it is -- contains any amount of "You MUST do [x]" or "You MUST engage with this post in [specific way] or at LEAST reblog", even if it's donations for a good cause, I Will Not Share That
My OCD can drive me to really stressful behaviors influenced by what my brain DEMANDS of me, even when it doesn't make sense, and I've struggled with my brain turning everything against me as ways to say that I'm morally impure for not engaging with important things
I want to share important posts about important fundraisers, but I never want to encourage other people's OCD the way mine can be, because it feels awful to have my brain twisting into me and controlling me
I've seen so many good posts end in "[x] MUST reblog this" and it's often posts that I completely love and was planning to share before it became something I was being demanded to do, and this isn't a matter of just "I don't wanna do it because I was told to" but "I have brain problems that cause me to spiral poorly when I don't do certain things and I don't need more arbitrary restrictions placed on my behavior by strangers"
Part of making this post is to say all of this so I can try and get it out of my head and stop stressing about the posts I've seen recently that do this kind of thing and to say; you can do whatever you want on your posts, but if you do this shit, I will not engage, no matter what, and that is a boundary I am setting for myself and my OCD
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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CUTIE MARKS ARE A PUN ON BEAUTY MARKS
Writer 1: Alright, we need to figure out how to resolve this episode's conflict with the hero realizing something, but I can't think of how they'd think of it.
Writer 2: What if we had another character say something, but the words just happen to make them think of what to do?
Writer 1: Wait... Say that last part again.
