Conversations I have with my siblings that are oddly batfam coded part …idek. it’s 11pm. 4? Yeah. Part 4. Featuring spiderman coz why not.
Dick: *very delirious and very sick in Jason’s apartment*
Jason: *looking after him because he had the least busiest schedule and Alfred is on a holiday break*
Dick: jss-jayyyyuhhh. JsooOOnn!
Jason: *deep breath* go to sleep, Dickhead.
Dick: I don’t wannaaaaarghh. Why won’t you just- hey look at the baby penguins! So cuteeee!
Jason: dude whatryou-
Dick: penguinnn on the tv 😃!!
Jason: that is a motherfuckin ostrich dude. Th- *sigh* They don’t even remotely look alike?!
Dick: s’the same colour though..
Jason: ok- you wanna sleep? Ima getcha some sleepy pills from the store. Kay, Dickie? Don’t go anywhere or do anythin stupid.
Dick: hey! Your.. s-stupid! You.. you.. stupid guy!
Jason: yeah, alright. Calm your tits, Goldie. I’ll be back in 10 minutes.
Dick: I don’t have t- HOLY F-
Jason: Dude! Jesus- don’t yell, it’s fucking 2am. Just.. stay put. Okay?! 10. MINUTES. *slams door shut*
Dick: …
Dick: *muttering* stupid Jason telling me what to do stupid little fuckahh kid I didn’t do shit and he’s leaving me here like a-
*BANG*
Dick: FUCK-
Dick: who’s there?!
Spidey: it’s just me, jay. I came for a quick pitstop coz I ran out of granola….bars.
Dick: …
Spidey: …
Dick: what the SHIT?!
Spidey: uhh.. hey? Random stranger in Jason’s house…whatcha doin here?
Dick: what am I- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE-
Spidey: woahhh, woah. No need for hysterics. You’re in my apartment so how about you go first.
Dick: Y- YOUR APARTMENT? THIS IS MY BROTHERS APARTMENT?! I SWEAR IF YOU DONT GET-
Spidey: okay, okay. Alright, looks like you’re a little freaked out.
Dick: A LITTLE?! YOURE A RED SPIDER GUY IN A SPANDEX SUIT!
Spidey: it’s actually spider-man. Although spider-guy has a kinda cool ring to it I guess.
Dick, eye twitching: *inhale* you are fine. This is just a fever dream or hallucination. You just need your meds. Wait for Jason.
Spidey: hate to uhh, burst your bubble dude. But I am very much real. And you are very much in my apartment and have very much not told me who you are so..
Dick: I-I’m um… Jason’s..brother. Older brother.
Spidey: oh! Richard! So nice to meet you! Jace has told me so much about you, man. I best be on my way though, still gotta few hours left of patrol. See ya ‘round!
Dick: uh-huh.
Spidey: *leaps out window*
Dick: …Jace? ..Wtf.
Jason: *opens the door* Dickie I’m back. Brought you some soup too. Didn’t get into too much trouble right?
Dick: *grabs Jason collar* Jason! There was a- a red spandex guy and he knew my name! A-And he said he lives here and didn’t know who I was at first and he was crawling and eating granola and he jumped out the window and-
Jason: alright dude, just take your meds and I’ll get you a cold towel. Your sweat and spit is like, dripping on me right now. Gross.
Dick: no jay, really! There was a guy-
Jason: mhm I know, dude. Spandex guy. Gotta love him. Get some rest. *turns off the light*
Dick: …
Dick: Well shit.
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Can yall tell by the writing that’s it’s midnight and I am sick. Can you also tell that I just read chapter 57 of ECM? Yeah. Hence the cross over gang. Your welcome. Also, no, Spider-Man did not show up at my house, I made that up. However, my sister is Sick and hilariously delirious, sleeping on my couch rn. Sorry sis.
