#cloudegory

So, I'm sure you are familiar with all of the subscription based services out there, such as manpacks, birchbox, dollarshaveclub, etc. Well now, a new company has launched called Catpacks, dubbed the World's first cat subscription service. What does that mean you may ask? Well, every month, you will get a live cat delivered to your door for just $15/month. How awesome is that? 

The company's CEO said in an interview that he noticed "a lack of whiskers around the country, and decided that a subscription service that delivers cats for a great price is what the country needs. On the site, you can choose what color and breed you want, and they will deliver a new one every month. They recommend you simply "toss out" the old cat once the new ones come in, because the cats "aren't particularly trained well to behave with other each other" according to the catpacks website.

PORTLAND, OREGON- Jim Gistorski, a resident of Portland has left his wife and two cats behind for Siri, the iphone voice command lady. His wife said that after she got him an iphone 5 for Christmas, he began obsessively using Siri, even for unnecessary tasks such as "find me the nearest toilet," even when he was in his own home. She even said she later caught him in the bathroom, kissing his phone while saying "I love you my monotone bitch." After she questioned him about it, he claimed he "did not have sexual relations with that woman," to which his wife responded by saying "What the fuck are you talking about?" end quote.  

Moving on...

Anyway, only two days later did Mrs. Gistorski come home to an empty house, with a note written out waiting for her by the door. We have the full transcript for you, so here it is:

"Sweety,

As much as I love you, Siri and I have a true connection. She understands me, has a sexy voice, and can search the web at blazing fast speed, which is rather spectacular. I'm sorry, but I'm gone for good."

We are hearing reports of a recent merger, that dropbox has decided to merge with box.com (formerly box.net). The reason for this merger is because box.com is the king of the business end of cloud storage, while dropbox is much more popular with individuals and consumers alike.

The best part of this merger, though, is that because both are reconginzed brands, they see it unfit to drop one of the company's names, while keeping the other. As a result, they will now be called: "DropboxBox," a rather tongue-twisting, but easy to remember name.

We think this is a rather strategic deal, and hope DropboxBox doesn't get broken up a monopoly. 

Indeed it is no surprise Linkedin won the award for having the best user interface of all websites across the web, because we all know how spectacular their beautiful site is. It is directly out of the year 2002, and has yet to evolve even the slightest bit. However, that doesn't take away from its shear simplicity and fluidness that have 200 million professionals head over heals for this beautiful interface (not really).

Do you remember that story of "The Zuck" claiming he only wants to eat meat he kills himself. He reportedly killed a goat himself (actually though) See it here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/green-living-blog/2011/may/27/mark-zuckerberg-kill-animals-meat

MIAMI, FL- Reggie Toots was sent to a psychiatric ward in local Boca Raton, Florida after his wife called the police on him. According to the report, he went around his home claiming "Digg.com is up, it still exists!" His wife thought this absurd, and after a few minutes, decided her husband had gone out of his mind insane. She claimed to have told him that "Digg does not exist anymore, it died years ago." 

Well, you heard it here. Spotify is reportedly going to give out a free condom to each user who purchases a subscription. This comes in light of their recent debacle involving the condom ads that play during their commercials in between tracks. Many users found this to be a nuisance, especially those who played spotify at their Christmas parties. However, it has been reported the condoms they will give are indeed Trojan Magnums, and have all been personally tried on by Spotify CEO, Daniel Ek. Well, that's a relief; thanks Daniel for breaking them in so we don't have to. 

  Amazon is now extending their inventory to more "livable" products. What does that mean? Well, they will now be offering animals as products, such as dogs, cats, fish, horses, and even potbelly pigs. My god, no disaster here bound to happen...