#cleverperseus

A moment passes, and Day points out, “If I wanted to be a smartass, I’d tell you that technically, it’s my home–” “Dad, really?!” “But I’ll restrain myself,” he finishes, despite the outburst.

His second youngest points an accusatory finger at him. “That’s a dick move and you know it.” 

With an incredulous scoff, Day tells him, “Perseus, you got multiple board games banned and I’ve had to set rules for what's acceptable for family movie night.” “There wasn’t anything saying I couldn’t splice together the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy–” “Yeah, because none of your brothers thought to do it. You gave them the idea and now we all have to suffer the consequences.”

Even though he huffs like he’s annoyed, Perce has a wide grin as he flops back down on the sofa. “No regrets.” 

“I’m aware.” Much like Perce, Day has a smile and his tone is warm, if a little exasperated.

His son refocuses him by saying, “Disembodied voice has a point, though. Everything I hear about the SMPza makes it sound weird. Wasn’t your theory that it’s made out of your admin light– or whatever it was you called it? Why’s it so different than here, then?”

There’s a furrow of Day’s brow as he tries to explain it. Some of the evidence he has is little more than a gut feeling– a sense that the world wasn’t allowed to diverge from the first life he had had in certain ways. Some events seemed fated to happen, even if that meant things or people bending and stretching in ways that they shouldn’t.

“...Too many similarities,” he murmurs. Perce argues, “Dad, we’re cosmically the same person.” 

“No it’s– not in the same way." He chews on his lip for a moment before trying to explain, "That reality never felt– right, I guess. No other world has felt like that. They feel solid and– real, I guess? But the SMPza had this sort of surreality to it. And the ghosts I saw would sometimes…snap back, to what they were like in my first life. Ghoulus would suddenly get upset around yellow or was afraid of Schlatt, for instance. A few times he called his brothers the wrong name."

His fingers skimming over some of his braids to try and lessen the sense of unease he has whenever he dwells on the SMPza for too long. “I don’t know; it might just have been how I lived. Things felt more concrete after I met your brothers. All that time on my own might have just fucked with my head." 

It wouldn't be the first time his perspective has turned out to be horribly warped. Sometimes he worries that he still jumps at shadows that aren't really there. 

With a sigh, he continues, "I don’t have a good answer, and I can’t have a good answer. That’s the realm of the divine, and I’m not really interested in stepping on any toes by demanding an explanation. I’ll deal with potential revelations when and if they happen.”

He tilts his head to the side a little. He can’t say he isn't glad for the change of topic, but he’s a little confused about why the Observers are asking at all.

Aren't they agents of Time? Even if they might not know everything– or even a lot of things– it feels like this would be something they would already know.

…Maybe he needs to re-examine what he thought he knew about them. After all, Theo had only recently told him that they're called Observers.

"Sort of yes, sort of no," he admits. "Ender chests work no matter where we go, so in that sense, yes. We've tested them on other servers here l, and they're empty– so it’s not just us."

His wings ruffle a little as he continues, "But we go to realities without servers entirely or servers that aren't the Dream SMP fairly regularly."

Perce makes a noise of confusion at him. Day tells him, "Question about if everywhere we go is a variation of the Dream SMP."

"Ah," his second youngest says. "Obviously not. We go to single realm worlds all the time! One of the perks of Dad and Theo traveling is that they can pick out safe worlds to have a little vacation in. My personal favorites are the ones like Cat world; it’s places with that level of tech and comfort that give me games and shows and books–"

"And more ideas for how to be a menace," Day snorts. "That, too," Perce admits, "But you know you love seeing museums with Attie and Theo."

Day can’t help but smile at his memories. “You say that like you don’t like them, too.” He nudges Perce with a wing and teases, “You have extensive records of the differences between all the versions of the sets of your favorite movies.” “As anyone would!” “Mm, no, but that’s because we’re the cool family.”

He’s glad to see Perce damn near preen with pride. It would snow in the nether before he dissed one of his kids’ hobbies.

…Even if he still doesn’t understand redstone. He can manage to follow relatively simple instructions, but beyond that he’s hopeless. Dee has long since given up on it. Frankly, Day is a little glad for it; he knows that nobody enjoyed those lessons.

Except for Theo, who found it hilarious. And Orph, because he kept setting up bets on how long before Dee had to stop because he was giving himself another headache from frustration. And Atlas, because he would use it to double check his own fundamentals–

“Wait a minute,” he says, eyes narrowing. “Your brothers were using me as free entertainment.”

Perce stares at him, his confusion obvious. “...Did you seriously not realize that? No, wait, better question– what made you finally realize it?”

He’s pretty sure his expression gets across how he feels just a little insulted. “Not– I know they do in general, but I meant when Dee used to try and teach me redstone.”

A beat or two passes, and Perce asks, “...Didn’t that stop when he was like, thirteen?” “Yes.” There’s a longer pause, paired with further confusion. “...It took you sixteen years to realize that?” 

Day makes an offended noise. “Hey– there was a lot going on!” “For sixteen years?!” “Some of it, yes! And then I stopped thinking about it, because I had more important things to worry about!”

Perce sighs, and sits up to pat his shoulder. “Yeah, that’s true.” “Thank y–” “You can’t help that sometimes you’re a little dumb. Great at plenty of stuff, but in some ways…ehhh…”

Oh, those are fighting words. He smiles, and can tell his son realizes that he’s signed up for a lot of unexpected cardio from the way his eyes get wide. He warns, “You have until I secure my stitch before I start hunting.”

That is, except for Theo, who doesn’t stop speaking despite hearing the question. He’s got a wide grin, almost taunting. “Really, it’s your own fuckin’ fault that you don’t hide shit you care about! If you don’t fuckin’ want me to hold stuff ransom, don’t piss me off.”

Orph’s eye twitches, and he grips his knife tighter. “You started it, you absolute asshole, you were the one who swapped all my pictures with clown paintings!”

Theo grins even more. “Dunno, sounds like your fuckin’ taste, though?”

Lee grabs a roll off the table and throws one at their hands with a surprising amount of both speed and accuracy. “Stop it,” he says, glaring at his eldest brother with enough heat that it leaves no doubt that he’s been on the receiving end of Theo’s needling.

With no small amount of relief, Day accepts the lifeline of this question. “Christmas, New Year’s, birthdays, April Fool’s day, father’s day, every day that passes where Theo hasn’t managed to get his brothers to revolt against him.”

There’s a loud bark of laughter from the eldest son in question. “‘Cause they know I’d kick their asses!”

Day’s eyebrows shoot up. “I hope you know I’m going to bring this up later, after they wreck you.” He ignores the offended squawk and continues, “My favorite is Christmas. I get to make or find things for everyone, I get a week of none of them pranking each other, and I get to inflict the rest of the server with quote-unquote thoughtful presents. Lucid’s sweater remains my crowning achievement.”

“It’s a migraine given physical form,” Perce says. “I’m still impressed by it. I didn’t realize you could see nausea. I’m almost positive it’s got some kind of admin bullshit done to it–”

“That would be cheating,” Day tells him. He looks more than a little smug. “What’s life without a little challenge? Besides, if it was admin bullshit, he could just undo it. He can’t even get rid of it because it’s too warm and comfy. I know exactly what textures are best for him, and I know he’s more willing to wear it out of spite. Thus, I inflict suffering on more people. A gift that keeps on giving.”

“I really feel like people don’t give him enough credit for being a chaotic bastard,” Dee mutters under his breath. “They forget we learned it from somewhere,” Orph agrees.

Day grins. “You’re all just feral gremlins by nature. Sure, I might have…nurtured a little–” “You kept telling dad jokes and bad puns until we banded together to stab you so you’d stop! That’s not a little nurture,” Atlas argues.

There’s a little hum of disagreement from Perce. “I mean…I didn’t grow up with him, so it’s not just that?” 

His eldest brother tells him, flatly, “Perseus, you got fuckin’ Monopoly banned because you decided to keep one-upping how much a fuckin’ bastard you were.”

Perce stares at his eldest brother for a long moment, head tilting to the side like he’s deciding something.

The youngest sighs and scoots his plate closer to himself in what seems like resignation.

“I’m the one who rigged everyone’s bedrooms with motion-activated frog recordings. I also made it so I could shut it off specifically to fuck with Dee.”

The entire table is perfectly still for a single heartbeat.

And then chaos erupts; Dee lunges, Theo withdraws a set of throwing knives, Orph pulls out his crossbow, and Atlas shoots forward with his hands outstretched.

Perce laughs, tossing himself backwards and telling them tauntingly, “Too slow!”

As he nimbly darts away, his older brothers all speed after him.

At the table, Day hums to himself. “...Yeah, I probably brought that on myself. At least it wasn’t Theo this time.”

There’s a gleam in Lee’s eye that he suspects bodes badly for Perce’s health and/or sanity in the future. “You still can’t use the Swords and Shields punitively. I’ll ground you for a month.”

“It would be worth it,” Lee tells him. The gravity in his voice is definitely worrying. Day replies, “Two months, then. Use your power responsibly. It’s a bad precedent to set and one that would upset others. Do you really want to scare new people because there’s a ten year old with an army who uses it for petty revenge?”

His youngest sighs with visible reluctance. “Fineee. I’ll just– poison his food, or something.” “Only if it’s not lethal.”

Lee glares at him and says, outraged, “The others can just stab him!” “A hazard he’s aware of. Do you really want to make your brother afraid of food? And of you?”

He waits until he’s gotten back home to begin to answer the new question. If Theo is around, he’s not anywhere in earshot.

…Though he’s pretty sure his eldest has been getting slightly better at stealth. It can be hard to judge, sometimes; Theo rarely bothers with being sneaky when he can instead bulldoze his way through whatever was stupid enough to stand in his path.

The flight back had given him time to consider the question. “There’s been a few cases like that,” Day starts with. “The one that comes up the most is someone named Grian. I have no idea why he just seems to show up every so often. If he’s there, we know it’s a more or less peaceful world. Other than that…”

He tries to remember some of the others, though can’t recall anyone else who appears with any sort of frequency in the Dream SMP. Sometimes people who are usually present are missing, but it’s much rarer that the reverse is true.

The question is complicated by what exactly counts as the Dream SMP being an unexpectedly murky issue.

When he, Theo, and Vio get the pull, they don’t always end up in anything Day can definitively say is a server at all. Whatever causes their ender chests to remain static doesn’t seem like it discriminates; the contents have yet to change, no matter how many non-server realities or places that otherwise definitely aren’t the Dream SMP they wind up in.

At this point, all they can do is shrug and call it a weird quirk of the multiverse or executive meddling to make their job marginally easier.

“...I’d count Time, but I try not to potentially insult the entity who controls time and probably reality. We’re still not positive about that, and aren’t willing to stick our nose into their business to find out for sure. None of us are interested in pissing off someone who can unmake everything we know and love.” 

Idly, he raps his knuckles against the oak plank wall he’s passing next to. It’s a familiar superstition borne of a bone-deep terror at the idea of angering the deity. “In the event that they can see everything or are otherwise observing, that was meant as respectfully as possible.”

He shudders at the idea of invoking the wrath of a god who he still suspects created a reality from the tattered remnants of his own admin access.

For just a moment, his unease crests in a way he chalks up to the tangled knot of emotions around everything tied to his first life.

Things are better now, even if he wants to stop being one of the ones who has to shoulder the burden of keeping things that way.

Which is only going to get worse now that he has to try and navigate the idea of teaching Lee code. The idea of leaving any sort of vital education to Lucid makes Day break out in a cold sweat. The idea of leaving such an important part of his youngest son's education in his hands, though, adds near literal hives and roiling nausea to the mix.

Better is not perfect. Remorseful doesn't mean good. Day has sacrificed far too much to risk Lee being hurt in any capacity.

Given that nobody else knows code, that means that Day will have to try to figure out how the hell to teach it to a ten year old. It's not that he resents or even dislikes the thought of teaching his kids; hell, in most cases it serves as a good chance to bond with them.

It's just that code is incredibly complicated. Most of what Day knows is instinctual. Exposure to a wealth of new items, concepts, and needing to figure out how to fix crimes against morality have done a lot to increase his understanding, but…

Not for the first time, he wishes he had a sounding board for this sort of thing.

=========

Wherever it is that Theo is, it looks like some sort of workshop dedicated to bookbinding. The eldest Was-Taken sibling is slowly and methodically assembling a book with lovely, elaborate calligraphy and art.

While he's been caught off guard before, whatever it is he's making seems important enough that his only reaction for several moments is a soft twitch of his wings.

He gently sets his work down once he's at a good stopping point, and gives a long, steady exhale.

The sound makes Perce raise his head curiously. It's clear that he’s the one who did the calligraphy, though the art seems to have been by a third party.

He tilts his head slightly at his eldest brother. "...Something happen?" Theo’s wings ruffle slightly as he says, "Question about if we see people during fuckin’ travels that shouldn't be there. Which, yeah, sometimes. Multiverse is weird n’ whatnot. Still have trouble wrapping my head around how fuckin isolated shit is. SMPza was a shit place, but at least if you walked long enough, you'd end up in a different territory.”

Cosmic outlier cosmic outlier It was SO hard trying to act like we understood the weird stuff there– Yeah but D3 was technically an admin like, what, ten times over? Territory management, our beloathed.

“Dad was only admin ‘cause I didn’t want to deal with that shit. Besides, s’not the same as admins like Lucid is. Or…Lee, apparently,” Theo adds, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Perce, who at this point is used to only hearing half of a conversation, picks up on the general direction that the Fates are going in. “Or Daz,” he points out. Theo snaps his fingers and points at him. “Yeah, him too. Fuckin’ weird that he’s another one. Makes me wonder…” His thoughts trail off, brow creasing as he mentally goes back over when he had first met the now-obnoxiously bubbly Tommy.

Between what Daz had said and how the local Dream had acted, Theo now suspects that the later had not just known about Daz’s capacity for being an admin, but had needed it, somehow.

He hadn’t just been afraid, he had been terrified to the point of tears.

At the time, Theo had written it off as another instance of the unhealthy, unhinged obsession that has cropped up more often than he cared to dwell on during his traveling.

He mutters, mostly to himself, “Dunno why they aren’t both being trained, seems fuckin’ obvious.”

There’s a noise of disagreement from Perce, who flicks his wings slightly. “Too many cooks can fuck things up, especially if those cooks ever disagree. That’s even before you get into how easily things can get messed up, or that Daz can be talked into just about anything.”

But he’s a golden retriever! He just wants to make everyone happy! Yeah, exactly. If someone seemed upset enough, he’d go along with whatever they wanted him to do He’d summon infinite items for everyone He’d make it rain candy because that seemed like a thing people might like He’s not THAT dumb– Who have YOU been watching? He’s an idiot. Idiot is harsh. He’s just a bit… He’s got a different kind of smart, stop being mean–

“If you’re all gonna bicker about the guy, do it more fuckin’ quietly,” Theo says, rolling his eyes at the chorus of grumbled not-quite apologies from the cluster of voices in his head.

Or…the old voices, anyway. He’s still not sure what the deal is with the new ones.

His little brother snorts softly, hiding a grin at the exasperated annoyance Theo has for the Fates.

Which just makes him point threateningly, but otherwise not mention it. “People who aren’t usually part of the Dream SMP…the fuck is your criteria for that, anyway? If you mean fuckin’ baseline, we all see tons of fuckin’ worlds with oodles n’ oodles more people in ‘em. Servers aren’t always a thing, or sometimes they’re weird as shit. Other times people’re just fuckin’...there. One dude pops up every so often, uhh…Wheat or Bran or something like that. Flown with a few of ‘em ‘cause sometimes they have fuckin’ wings, usually help him pull off a prank or two, have acted as a middleman for Caper n’ Spark to sell some of them the schematics for glitter TnT n’ for him to sell them some shit I don’t remember the purpose of. Always a new one, always too much technical shit for my taste.”

He racks his brain for other instances of repeated but non-baseline players, but draws a blank. Perce points out, “Haven’t there been competition worlds?”

Tournament worlds are fun! Vio subbing in for a last minute injury was amazing– I still can’t believe they looked at THAT bastard, then at Day and Theo, and really thought he’d be the least OP out of all of us–

“First of all, we all fuckin’ agreed that he needed a world to let off steam. Second of all, he is not more fuckin’ OP than me–” “Dunno, he sure seems to kick your ass a lot–” Theo abruptly grabs a thick rubber pad and chucks it at his little brother, who leans out of the way of it.

Smugly, Perce tells him, “You’re too obvious. Gotta be faster if you want to win against the reigning king of manhunts–” “Oh, I’ll show you fuckin’ fast–!”

Theo launches himself over the table, but his little brother is already darting away and out the door of their joint workshop. Both of them sport wide, toothy grins that make it clear they’re using the bickering as an excuse to take part in the familiar bonding ritual of mostly friendly fratricide.

=============

The last of the trio pauses in the act of reading out loud. He, along with Aver, are in Aver’s workroom. A sleeveless navy hoodie is being embroidered with dozens of tiny, shimmering stars in shades of silvery white and light blue.

There’s a noise of curiosity from Aver, but he doesn’t look up from the tiny, sure stitches he’s making. It’s not common that he does this sort of work himself any more, but Khons refused to let anyone but Aver have the thread spun from his wool.

Sure, the finished piece will be for Aster, and the thread was offered freely to him as a sign of Khons and Alephs’ friendship. Those didn’t magically erase his trauma.

Even now, Aver is always extremely careful to return any excess and to secure it in the meantime.

It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t think anyone would be stupid or greedy enough to take it even as a joke; the fact is that Khons, and by extension Aleph, have had issues with it being stolen in the past.

Aver, despite his fondness for causing light to moderate headaches, does genuinely want to help people learn to overcome, or at least learn to live with, the strife and misery that led them to end up in Sanctuary.

For all that Lucid is its admin, and all that the T3 are its shepherds, Aver will always be one of those who decided to dig his heels in to make it a home instead of a living hellscape.

The leader of that charge has been quiet for a few moments before he speaks again. “...A question about non-baseline people who show up in the Dream SMP,” he murmurs, looking thoughtful.

Aver is more than familiar with the faint crease of his brow, slightly narrowed eyes, and idle flicks of his tail.

His not-dad is trying to figure something out, but this is one of the rare times when he has no idea what he’s tripped up on.

“Talk to me, big man. You know I’m a good fuckin’ sounding board.” “...It feels like a weird question,” Vio says slowly, that furrow increasing.

“...Seems fuckin’ normal to me? Or not any weirder than any of the others you’ve mentioned.” “Yeah, exactly. I don’t understand why it feels so off.”

Aver hums, his stitching pausing for a few moments. Looking up at Vio without moving his head, he points out, “Might be weird eldritch radar. Dunno what you’d be picking up. God vibes?”

Vio visibly grimaces at the idea. “I don’t want to meddle in the affairs of the divine. I’ve heard enough horror stories from Theo to want nothing to do with any of that.” “Maybe you’re getting scoped out to be a fuckin’ prophet or some shit,” Aver says, mostly to see the way his not-dad’s face contorts in absolute horror.

If the alien had fur, Aver has no doubt it would be standing on end. As it is, he shudders violently. “Nope, no, do not tempt the universe with that sort of talk–” “Not that fuckin’ big of a deal, some of them are chill–” “Your experiences are not only not universal, but entirely unhelpful. Just because Lady Death looks kindly on you–” “Hey, Mumza is pog! Fuckin’ loves hearing about you, too, n’ is still bummed she can’t talk to you directly–”

“I wanted to molt a dozen times in a row being near Philza when he was used as her vessel. I don’t want to revisit that experience. I didn’t even know I could break out in hives, but damn if that isn’t what happened!”

Aver rolls his eyes. “Fuckin’ drama queen. For someone who talks to gods semi-regularly, you’re awfully fuckin’ anti-divine.” “I’m not against divinity, because I’m not suicidal, I just want to remove every layer of my skin and disinfect it in lava by being near them. My body evidently decided that gods are too close to magic, which I am allergic to.”

“Your fatal fuckin’ flaw. That, or being a stubborn bastard.” Vio’s eyes narrow, and he points a finger at him. “Pot, kettle. You wouldn’t keep calling me your dad if you weren’t just as bad–” “Not-dad, get it right,” Aver chirps smugly.

“Fuck you,” Vio retorts flatly. Aver’s smugness only grows as he says, “Not my fault you can’t remember the joke.” “I’m physically incapable of forgetting the joke without severe memory loss, because Day and Theo take every possible chance to tell everyone we meet about it!”

The reminder makes Aver cackle with laughter. “Yeah, Theo thinks it’s fuckin’ hysterical. Can’t blame him there, ‘cause it is. N’ now you have to vanish for the week around fuckin’ Father’s Day, otherwise the whole fuckin’ server lines up to dunk on you.”

Theo, Perce, and Lee are once again in the arena, though they’re joined by three of the Council members–Aster, Aleph, and Khons.

Lee sits attentively in the stands with Khons and Perce, attention zeroed in on the other three. They're having some sort of three-way spar and it's...fast. Very, very fast; so fast it's easy to miss the identical, feral grins that Theo and Aster have. Aleph doesn't seem as blatantly enthused, nor quite as speedy, but seems to be enjoying himself and holding his own just fine.

Especially when Theo falters for a fraction of a second and gets a sword through his chest for it.

Almost immediately he starts shouting, darting back into the arena from the respawn room. "That didn't fuckin' count! Interference!" The other two disengage, glance at each other, and then over to Theo. "...Are you sure you aren't just being a sore loser? There wasn't anything that I saw," The piglin hybrid's mostly monotone voice carries a bit of amusement, even if he knows damn well what's going on. All of the Council members do, actually.

Observers are present and almost certainly have asked something.

Theo scowls at him. "Fuckin' question popped up! S' still weird as shit!"

Aster, still catching his breath, squints at him. "...How is it any different from the Fates? Isn't it just one more voice?" The warrior rolls his eyes, flopping down near his brothers in the stands. "No, n’ it's hard to explain why it's not the same," he grumbles, “It just is.” Aleph and Aster both take seats nearby, since there wasn't much point in continuing without him. They had plenty of time to spar just the two of them.

Perce speaks up from his place next to Khons. "As funny as it would be if Theo was just making excuses for fucking up," he says, ignoring the indignant squawk from said brother, "I got it, too. I'm sort of surprised, though–and a little confused about how much they all know. Theo and Dad are the ones in the family who travel a lot--the rest of us only occasionally go elsewhere. For me, it's less of a 'kind' and more a specific one. I like visiting my original world. It's nice meeting up with my friends and seeing how things have been. I don’t regret moving here, but...I still miss them sometimes."

Lee grins, elbowing him. "I was too adorable to not move here for, right?" Perce laughs, reaching over to ruffle his younger brother's hair. "Of course. You'll only be tiny for so long. Plus I thought it would be good to give the rest of them more space. I'm not even the admin any more--and before I get asked, I was...different, from how Dad and Dream Prime. I just kept things running smoothly, no world-talking or link to it like they have. Had, in Dad’s case. From what everyone back on my original world has told me, Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo are doing a great job. I figured they would–wouldn’t have given them control otherwise– but…it’s still nice to be proven right."

There's a grin from the eldest brother at that. He extends a fist towards Aster as he says, "Tommys are just fuckin' pog like that." The Sword bumps his fist back, smiling a little. "We're pretty capable, given the right motivation."

"Best world is Opinionated Ranboo's. Cookie Dream n’ the rest of the cookie team are awesome! Even Ranboo is funny, if a little...likely to give me a headache. The cookies are worth it though! Nothing beats getting one right out of the oven," Lee declares, earning a few smiles. "Capitalist Tommy is another very pog one of us,” Theo comments, “Pretty fuckin’ sure we’d end up signing our souls over if he, Tommy Prime, n’ Caper ever went into business together. We’re just real fuckin’ lucky that Capitalist Tommy is more focused on his own world.”

Khons adds mildly, “And that Caper is more focused on the Prank Guild. Most Tommys are…pretty scary, when they want to be.” Really, though, Khons had his own opinion of who the most terrifying Tommy was. It took a special kind of person to quietly create an entire organization with a secret council at the helm, hide all evidence of said council’s existence from someone who could be shown anything that happened in the world and seamlessly lie to countless people for three years. It took an even more special person to do that for the defense of an admittedly already very safe child, and to then thrive on the deception.

There were a lot of things about Daz that were baffling. Most of them tied back to whatever the hell his original world had been like. A lot of the details of that were withheld even from the other Council members. Though, to be fair, the rest of them weren't exactly open books about their own first worlds either.

“And you, Theo? Favorite kind of world?” It only takes a few moments after Perce looks to his eldest brother before the answer comes. “Probably peaceful-weird ones. Y’know, where shit’s fuckin’ strange but there’s not any real danger. Or, if there is, s’ more like we need to bring people back ‘cause the world is fucked, but not in an insta-death way. More like, uh…there was one with fuckin’--Dream on a little island, n’ the world had flooded, right? But he refused to go unless his friend–fuckin’ merman Quackity, which was wild for a few fuckin’ reasons–could go with him. S’ you might be able to guess, was sorta hard to bring a person who doesn’t have legs n’ can’t breathe air through a portal with us!”

Perce’s eyes narrow slightly. “...Wasn’t that the one where Vio reverse engineered a water breathing potion out of spite? Even though he has basically a magic allergy?” Theo laughs cheerfully, “Yeah! Fucker scared the shit out of the two we were fuckin’ there to help, ‘cause he flat out didn’t sleep for about four days. Dream asked at one point what was up with him, and Dad fuckin’ said that Vio has a personal grudge against water. Fucker then shouted back that water had a personal grudge against him, n’ I think I laughed so hard I blacked out for a few seconds.”

“Sounds about right,” Aleph says, smiling faintly. “He was…interesting. In the world Moons and I came from, he decided to leave a message for the group we were running from that time.” Khons has stilled, an uneasy expression on his face. Aleph carefully leans against him ever so slightly, a gentle reminder of his presence. Theo watches them for a moment, then says helpfully, “So, yeah–that kind of place. Or just…ones without all the real fucked up shit. I’m real fuckin’ sick of finding another fuckin’ Protege Tommy world. No offense, Aster, but–”

A shrug meets the apology. Aster says mildly, “None taken. It’s depressing to see how common they are, anyway. Granted, a lot of them do end up in the Swords and Shields because…well. Lee is a sweet kid and one of the least threatening Dreams we have.” He looks at the kid in question, whose smile falters a bit. “...Would be nice if nobody was hurt at all, but…if they end up here, bad stuff happened to them or their world. I didn’t really…deal with any of that. Or, at least–I don’t remember it. I’ve gotten a lot of kindness from everyone here. It’s sort of…the least I can do, to try to make the really messed up people feel a little safer.”

One hand goes to touch the brooch worn over his heart. “...I just want everyone to be safe and happy. They deserve that much.” The quiet words linger for only a moment, and then he feels a hand settle gently on his head. When he looks up, Aster is smiling softly at him. “You’ve got a big heart. It’s what made all of us decide to stick by your side–we don’t want you to stop being that kind.”

The sheer weight of that draws a tiny frown from Lee. “I know, I know. It’s…” he trails off, struggling to put the feeling into words. After a few moments Khons gently offers, “It feels like you’re being given too much, right? Like you haven’t done enough to earn that sort of loyalty?” Lee nods a little. “Mhm. That’s how we all felt, you know. What had we done, to make us worthy of being taken back here? What had we done, to merit the kindness and empathy we’d been given? What made it okay for us to finally be safe?”

The rhetorical questions make Lee look a little offended. Feathers puffing in outrage, he protests, “Nobody has to earn–” “We know that, now. But at first…it’s hard to believe that. It’s easier to accept flower crowns and scrawled drawings and disarmingly sweet compliments from a little kid than it is to believe that the world really is safe. ‘Leph and I would probably never have gotten as involved in things if you hadn’t opened that door. It might not have been your intention to start anything bigger…but you did. We’re glad for it.”

Aleph inclines his head a little. “All of the Swords and Shields are behind you because of that. You didn’t say anything about Khons’ wool or my fur–you just said that his eyes are kind and that I looked like a good friend. It’s still not what we’re used to; a lot of new people will make comments about what we look like.”

Silence falls over them for a few moments, Lee clearly considering all of it. “...Okay,” he says with quiet reluctance. “Baby brother, just accept that you’re pog. S’ just a fact. Can’t turn the sky green or the fuckin’ grass blue, can’t change that you’re the best tiny brother I’ve ever had. None of the others fuckin’ compare,” Theo declares. Perce rolls his eyes, and elbows his elder brother. “Don’t rank us; I’ll tell Dad.” “Don’t be a sore loser, Perce. I can still kick your ass,” Theo retorts.

Perce grins at him, a toothiness to it that spoke of mischief and the innate competitive drive he had. “That really depends on what we’re going against each other in, but sure. Tell yourself you’re the best–if you say it enough times it might become true.” There’s a scoff from the elder brother, who ruffles his wings a little. “I can come out on top in anything–” “Manhunts, trivia nights, ability to keep my fucking mouth shut for more than five seconds–” “Fuck you! I could beat you if I wanted to–”

It quickly devolves into petty bickering, though there’s still that ever-present affectionate edge to it. Then Lee jumps into the verbal fray, which drags the two Swords and the Shield with him, and…it’s unlikely that the sparring will resume any time soon.

=================

Over in the flower fields next to Summer Hills, the second eldest of the family barely has to stop and think about the question. “Best worlds to visit are any of the peaceful ones with big societies and a lot of advanced tech. New things to take apart, new media, new internet to dive into. There’s always something unique in those worlds and I fucking love them.”

The two with him–Raine and Tubbo Prime–both stare at him. The other Tubbo looks confused. “Uh…Dee, who are you…oh.” He stops, realization dawning. “Did you get another question?” “Mm. Wanted to know the family’s favorite kind of world to visit,” Dee says, idly watching as bees float by them.

“...The whole…question thing unsettles me,” Raine admits quietly. “Yeah, shit’s weird. It’s just one more to add to the pile, though, and we can’t do much about it. Better to answer than be stubborn and piss whatever or whoever is asking off, right? Unless they’re assholes. In which case, I’ll meet that assholery in spades.”

Tubbo Prime grins a little. “Oh, definitely. Vee was pretty annoyed about the first few–last time I saw him go all eye twitchy like that was when he heard the names of Boo’s picks. Which was fair, because he’s been stabbed for those.” Raine’s expression turns deadpan. “His axe is bad, too. Not as bad as some of the other names I’ve heard, but…” “It’s okay,” Dee says earnestly, though with a mischievous grin. Putting a hand on his shoulder he continues, “This is a safe place. You can tell us how terrible Dream Prime’s equipment names are. We understand. We feel your pain.”

The three of them all crack up, Raine being the first to break. He wheezes out, “I still can’t believe he went from naming everything Nightmare to–whatever the fuck his current ones are–” Dee scowls, gesturing with his hands as he talks. “Dad knows what they mean. He refuses to explain beyond saying that they’re melodramatic and dumb as hell. I keep trying to get him to fucking crack, but…he’s him. So, you know, he’s a stubborn asshole who refuses to let me have any fun–”

Tubbo Prime shakes his head sympathetically. “Truly, he’s the head of the Fun Police.” “Yeah, but he’s pretty alright. And…a little scary,” Raine says as he lays back against the grass. “Oh yeah, no, you didn’t see him fight a fucking god with Theo, Techno, and Vee. He’s weird, but good weird. Like everyone else from that world!”

Dee makes a face. “No, there were assholes. There were a lot of assholes, actually. Hell, Vio used to be one of them. Still is, a little bit! I could start listing them off, but that’s fucking depressing. I’d rather watch the bees.” “Bees are superior to most things,” Tubbo Prime agrees, watching two of them drift by.

=================

Day sighs softly at the sound of a question. He’s in his living room with both Atlas and Orpheus, all three involved in their own projects. Day is in a chair and knitting a sweater in dark green, white, and light blue yarn. Atlas is positioned sideways on the couch with some sort of odd-looking board that he’s deftly knotting thin wire and beads onto in a complex pattern. Orpheus is…well. He’s got a ton of papers with notes and music on them spread out across the floor, his com propped up off to one side, a guitar halfway in his lap, and is chewing on a pencil.

“You two get that one, too?” “Yup,” Atlas says, not looking up from his project. Orph makes a noise of distracted agreement, eyes narrowed as he stares down at one of the pieces of paper like it personally offended him.

“Any of them I can go see musicals in,” Orph mutters after a moment. Atlas nods in agreement. “Yeah, those ones usually have good stuff for jewelry. It’s a pain to put away our wings, but worth it to just…go have a day of fun.”

“I keep getting mistaken for their brother. It’s funny,” Day cheerfully adds. Orpheus makes a face, finally looking up at him. “You get smug about it. It’s not their fault immortality isn’t a thing for most people–” “He gets so smug,” Atlas groans, glaring at their dad.

Day is entirely unrepentant. “Yes, well…it’s still very funny.” Orph points his pencil at him. “Hypocrite!” “Mmm, special Dad privileges. I’ve earned being a chaotic asshole from time to time,” Day says with a little shrug.

Orph starts intoning, “Every day spent here is a nightmare–” “No, that’s an axe. And a set of armor. And a sword–” Day’s interruption makes his son make an infuriated noise and hiss, “You know what I meant!”

That only makes Day raise his eyebrows slightly. “Of course I did. I also know that you’re a terrible gremlin child and deserve every single terrible dad joke I make. All of you do. I’m getting belated revenge for the raccoons, Orpheus.” Day shifts his attention to Atlas, who laughs nervously. “So, uh–your favorite kind of world, Dad?”

Day shrugs. “Anywhere that’s peaceful. It’s nice to not have to immediately deal with some horrible, nightmarish crisis involving pain, suffering, and death. The solution in those cases is usually more death. Or making everyone talk. Either way, I don’t like those. Ones that are just…silly, or lighthearted, or just generally aren’t deeply depressing. Or…hurt my head. We’ve had a few of those.”

“...Wilbur being married to XD was weird to hear about,” Atlas says, and all three of them make similar faces. Orpheus’s voice is slightly higher pitched as he rants, “How do you think it felt for me?! I had to hear about an alternate self that was married to a god who my Dad created here!”

“I had to meet a version of someone I fought a war against and another of whom is my son who married a god that is, for me, little more than an admin program I created. I had to have a little scream into a pillow after that one, because it was so baffling. We didn’t even do anything; we were just there to see it existed!” Day’s voice goes from oddly flat to somewhat frustrated as he speaks. He takes a moment to set his knitting down and stare blankly up at the ceiling. “I feel like the butt of a cosmic joke sometimes.”

Day refocuses on the image, actually paying attention to it. “...So good news and bad news. Good news, it’s not an invasive question about our personal lives from unseen voices that I and Theo are required to answer at the behest of the deity whose dominion is time and probably reality that conscripted us to fix the problems of countless versions of our home.”

This earns a long pause. “...That is good, yes,” his son answers slowly, brow creasing in concern. “Uh…and the bad news…?”

“Said voices are able to send us pictures. It looks like a popup hovering in the air and I’m not really sure how to get it to go away,” Day replies. There’s a beat and then he adds, “...It’s of…I’m pretty sure that’s one of the Pokemon from those games you and your brothers like…?”

Perce suddenly looks a lot more interested. “Which one?” “Uh…it has clovers on its…ears? Are those ears? And looks kind of like a blob of cream. It’s apparently named after me…?” Day sounds very unsure, squinting at the image. “Alcremie,” Perce says, nodding to himself. “What color is the cream?”

“Perseus, I’m not going to describe a piece of art to you–” Day’s exasperated words are cut off by his second youngest reaching over and grabbing his shoulders. His eyes go wide. “It’s fanart?! Dad, find a way to show me and Lee needs to see it too–” “Nnno, I don’t think I’ll be doing that–” “We need to see the fanart of Pokemon you, this is injustice!” Day looks no less convinced as Perce shakes him a little.

The immortal just takes a bite of his own toast, eyebrows raising. “Nah.” He hums to himself as the image vanishes. “Oh, look, it’s gone now. A shame, it was cute.” From the look on Perce’s face you’d think this was the most grievous of offenses. “Why would you do this?! Why didn’t you try and take a picture with your com?! Orph is right, this family is a nightmare–don’t you do the stupid fucking joke with that! You haven’t earned that! Dad joke privileges revoked!”

Day grins when his behavior is accurately predicted. “I did it,” he tells his second youngest while staring him dead in the face, “Because of the cows.”

Perce narrows his eyes at him. “That wasn’t me.” “We both know it was. I’d ask how you managed to dye a herd of cows into a rainbow and get them to spell out ‘fuck you’ in color order long enough to take a picture, but quite frankly I’m not willing to damage my sanity to learn your secrets. You did earn Theo’s eternal ire, though–you know how he is with his cows,” Day replies.

“The cows were perfectly fine, and whoever did that probably did it for entirely fucking justified reasons,” Perce scoffs. He grabs an apple and starts to walk out. However he does so backwards and pointing threateningly at his dad with his piece of toast, “I’m telling all the others you got fanart of a Pokemon named after you and didn’t even try to share!”