Frankie settles into Ashton's arms, hugging him around the neck when Ashton stands from the bed.
"C'mon," he says softly, "let's go wake Jack."
Frankie nods where his head rests against Ashton's shoulder, his face pressed into Ashton's neck.
Ashton loves these quiet morning moments, revels in Frankie's steady breathing, the sound of his bare feet walking down the hall to Jack's room. He stops before they enter and moves Frankie over onto his hip, letting Frankie rest against his shoulder again before they move forward.
Frankie's twin brother Jackson is still snoring when they open the door and Frankie laughs quietly as they continue to approach the bed. Jack's managed to kick the blankets off while he slept (as he usually does), and his shirt has ridden half way up his belly.
"Jack," Ashton calls, voice loud, or Jackson won't wake up. He sits down on the edge of the bed and reaches a hand out to Jack, covering his belly completely. He tickles him once, then again, and a third time when Jack starts to wake.
"Rise and shine, Buddy," Ashton tells him, smiling when Jack sits up in bed, curly hair flying all different directions as he lets out a loud yawn.
"Mornin', Jack," Frankie says, waving as Jack greets him the same way. As if he's still half asleep, Jack crawls over to Ashton and situates himself on Ashton's other hip, reaching across to pull Frankie into a little group hug.
"Daddy says it's time for pancakes," Frankie tells Jack as he hugs him back before letting go so Ashton will carry them into the kitchen. Jack makes a small sound of excitement as they go.
Ashton manages to get the three of them into the kitchen and sets the boys down on the counter island.
"Don't move," he says, even though they never do, as he starts to gather the ingredients. Once he's got them all set out, he grabs the largest bowl he can find and reaches for a whisk.
"Alright, boys," he says to get their attention. "Who's turn is it to stir?"
Jack shrugs, never one to remember small details, but Frankie says, "it's Jack's turn," smiling big when Ashton thanks him.
"So that means you get to measure, right, Frank?"
Frankie nods as Ashton gets them down from the counter. They both scurry over to the pantry and get out their aprons, Frankie's the red and Jackson's the green.
They walk over to the breakfast table and each push two chairs over to the island, one on ether side of Ashton.
He beams with pride as he watches his boys follow his instructions to make the batter. They really are getting too big, now, his old heart can't take much more of this 'growing up' stuff.
Once Frankie has dumped the dry ingredients into the bowl, Ashton pours the milk over and cracks in the egg. He uses the whisk to break the egg up a little before handing it off to Jack, who's waiting eagerly, all but bouncing on his heels.
Jack has always been the more animated twin, the first to make his presence known, absolutely lighting up the room the moment he steps foot in, immediately stealing the hearts of any and all who meet him. Frankie's more laid back, Ashton would say. He's quiet, and usually a little shy, always holding Ashton's hand if given the choice. But he's a little heartbreaker too, once you get him to open up a bit. He's the more reserved one, but he and Jack balance each other well.
"Careful there, Bud," Ashton warns when the batter sloshes up to the brim of the bowl, almost spilling over. "You're stirring too hard."
"Am not," Jack makes a pouty face, "'S Frankie's fault, he put too much stuff in here."
"Did not," Frankie rebuts, turning to look at Ashton as if he thinks he's in trouble.
"Jackson," Ashton scolds him, taking the bowl and whisk away. "You aren't being very nice. Say sorry to Frankie."
Jack sighs, lifting a hand to rub at his head. He gets flour in his hair and Ashton would laugh if he wasn't trying to be serious.
"Sorry Frankie," Jack mumbles, wiping his hands on his apron.
"It's okay," Frankie says, reaching out to pat Jack on the shoulder.
"Why don't you boys go watch some TV while I cook these?" Ashton finishes stirring the batter as the boys hop down from their chairs, running off toward the living room, already bickering over whether to watch Spongebob or Mickey Mouse.
Ashton gives a fond sigh as he starts the pancakes, finishing them off in record time.
He sets the table and gives each boy two pancakes each, glad he remembered to make them all the same relative size so the boys wouldn't fight.
"Time to eat, boys!" He calls, sitting in his own chair when he hears them come running back to the kitchen.
Over breakfast the boys talk nearly constantly, mostly to each other, but they're kind enough to include Ashton in the conversation whenever he butts in.
Once they finish, they hurry off to brush their teeth and then get dressed, reminding Ashton for the millionth time that they don't need his help.
It's a new thing he's started, letting them pick their own clothes on Saturdays. They're usually good at it, too, which had been surprising at the start.
Ashton gives the boys a few minutes before going back to his own room to get dressed and grab his camera to start filming for the day. He turns it on and holds it arm's length away from himself before he pushes record.
"Hey, what's up you guys? Hi, Mum," He starts with his usual greeting, running a hand through his hair. "Welcome back to my channel, hope you're all doin' good. Today the boys and I are supposed to go check out their new preschool with (Y/N), but I haven't told them that yet. You know Frankie always gets nervous, he doesn't like change too much. But he'll have Jack there to help him through it."
Ashton flips the camera around so it's facing away from him as he walks out of his bedroom and down the hall to Frankie's. He knocks on the door a few times, waiting to be told to enter before he pushes it open. Frankie is sitting on his bed, dressed in a red tee shirt and overalls, trying to jam his feet into his sneakers.
"Are you dressed, Pal?" Ashton asks, grinning as he watches Frankie put on his shoes. "Love your outfit. You look like Mario."
"Who's Mario?" Frankie asks, brows furrowed tightly as he tries to tie his laces.
"I'll show you later, maybe. I think I just got a sick idea for your Halloween costumes this year."
Frankie hums in response before letting out a loud sigh. "C'n you help me?" He asks, kicking his feet out so his laces swing about wildly.
"Of course, Pal," Ashton says. "Wanna hold Daddy's camera?"
Frankie nods eagerly, holding out his hands. "I promise to be extra careful."
Ashton gives Frankie the camera and lets him film whatever he wants while Ashton ties his shoes up neatly. Once he's finished, he takes the camera back and Frankie follows him down the hall to Jack's room.
When Ashton opens the door, Jack is sitting on his bed, wearing a bright orange tee shirt with his swim trunks on as trousers. On one foot he's wearing a bright yellow rain boot and the other he's trying to get into a black sneaker.
"'M almost done, guys," he says, struggling to tie his laces.
"Wait, Jack," Ashton says, stepping into the room. "You can't wear your trunks. We're not going to the pool today."
Jackson stops trying to put on his sneaker as he looks up at Ashton. "But Daddy this is what I picked."
"I know, Buddy, but you know Daddy has the final say. I want you to put on your jeans, okay?"
Jackson lets out an exaggerated sigh but nods, hopping off of the bed to find his jeans.
"Come find us in the living room when you're done, alright? I'll help you put on your shoes."
Ashton leads Frankie back out into the hall just as there's a knock on the door.
"Can I get it?" Frankie asks, bolting off to get the door when Ashton gives him permission.
Ashton hears him ask, "Who is it?" Before he opens it, although he didn't sure catch the other person's reply.
-/-
You roll your eyes when Frankie opens the door and Ashton walks up with his camera out.
"I was hoping to catch you before you started filming today."
Ashton laughs as he walks over, stopping just in front of you. You're sure the only thing in his frame is your face when he says, "Greet my subscribers, (Y/N)!"
You wave hello to the camera before batting it away. Ashton laughs as he stops recording and sets it down so he can give you a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"Morning," he says, squeezing you tight before letting you go. "Want a pancake?"
"No thanks," you tell him, shaking your head.
You feel a hand tugging at your arm and you look down to find Frankie staring up at you. "You sure? They're really good."
"I'm sure," you nod, bending down to sweep Frankie into your arms. "I love your outfit today. Did you pick this?"
He nods proudly, looking down at himself. "Daddy says I look like a Mario."
Ashton chuckles to himself as he leans back against the wall. "Doesn't he?"
"A bit," you agree, kissing Frankie's cheek. "You're cuter than Mario, though." Frankie blushes and wraps his arms around your neck, hugging you tight.
You and Ashton had been best friends since you were teenagers, and you loved his boys as if they were your own. You gave Ashton the idea to start a blog on single parenting and helped him establish an online presence, even getting him started with a channel on YouTube, which he originally only used to keep his mum updated on the boys' growth, where he now had over two million subscribers.
"I'm ready, Daddy!"
You all turn your heads when Jack comes running into the room, nearly tripping over his untied shoelace.
You know for sure that Jackson picked this outfit out for himself— he's wearing an orange tee shirt with jeans, a relatively tame choice for Jack, which he makes up for with his accessories— huge, novelty sunglasses and a sideways baseball cap.
"(Y/N)!" He shouts when he sees you, running across the room until he smacks into your legs, almost knocking you over.
"Hi, Jack," you laugh, reaching down to pat him on the back.
He lifts his arms, asking for you to pick him up as well, and even though you know they're both much too big for it now, you can't resist his pouting face. You bend down and scoop him up as well, wrestling him into your other hip. You try to kiss his cheek, but his sunglasses are in the way so you settle for a forehead kiss instead.
"Wow, look at you with that super strength," Ashton jokes, camera back out. You hadn't even noticed when he turned it back on.
"Well, some of us don't need to have big muscles like you to be strong."
"(Y/N)," Ashton huffs, pretending to be offended as he puts a hand over his heart, "you wound me. But thank you for saying my muscles are big."
He sticks his tongue out at you and you roll your eyes, carrying the boys over to the door. "It's time to go," you tell him over your shoulder, adding, "grab my purse will you?"
The two of you manage to get the boys strapped into Ashton's car, and you head off to the preschool, which happens to be only ten minutes from the building where you both live.
You hadn't always lived across the hall from each other, but when Ashton's old neighbor moved out, you were the first person he called about the vacancy. Even though he put in a good word for you, you insisted that that wasn't the reason you got the apartment. Despite how much he insisted it was.
"Where we going?" Jack asks, kicking his feet against the back of your chair.
"It's a surprise," Ashton says, looking in the rear view mirror as he pulls out of the parking lot.
"A surprise?" Frankie echoes, looking at you when you turn around. "Is it a good surprise?"
You nod, keeping your tone light. "It's a great one. You'll see!"
"Okay," Frankie nods, turning to look out of the window as Ashton pulls into traffic.
When you get to the school, Ashton's the first one out, helping Frankie out of his car seat while you go help Jack.
Ashton hands you his camera and you turn it back on, recording as Jack takes Ashton's hand and he leads the boys up to the school.
"We're about to show the boys their surprise!" You say, focusing the camera toward the school as you approach it, making sure to keep any distinguishing details out of frame.
Once you get up to the doors, Ashton has the boys stand side by side as he gets down to their level, crouching in front of them.
"Where are we?" Frankie asks, looking at the building.
"This is your surprise," Ashton says, taking each of their hands, "your new school!"
"Whoa!" Jackson gapes, already excited. "We get to go to school?"
Ashton laughs, nodding. "Yep!" Starting next week you'll get to come here every day!"
"Every day?" Frankie asks, and you can see the worry on his face as he grasps Jackson's hand tighter. "But when will I see you if I'm here every day?"
Ashton's smile softens a little and he lets go of Frankie's hand to squeeze his shoulder instead. "You're not moving in, Frank. You're gonna come home with me. I'll be here to pick you up. Or maybe sometimes (Y/N) will come get you. Either way, you're only gonna be here for a little bit of the day, not the whole thing."
"Oh," Frankie says, shifting on his feet. "Okay."
"Do you wanna go inside?" Ashton asks, standing up again.
"Yeah!" Jack shouts, fists pumping in the air.
Frankie nods in answer, but lets go of Jackson's hand to hold Ashton's instead.
Jack seems unbothered as he moves to take Ashton's other hand, practically pulling him toward the entrance.
You stop recording once they walk in, turning Ashton's camera off and putting it into your bag before you follow them. The classroom is decorated colourfully, toys of various sizes and shapes strewn about the floor as children play, their parents seated in chairs that line the perimeter of the room. You find Ashton standing a few feet away and approach them just as one of the teachers gets down on her knees to talk to the boys. She's wearing a pair of glasses on the tip of her nose, but she looks friendly, her round face smiling down at the boys as she runs a wrinkled hand through her curly, white hair.
"And who might you be?" She asks, reaching out to shake hands with Frankie, who's all but hiding behind Ashton's leg.
"Francis Charles Irwin," he says, shaking her hand politely when she smiles down at him.
"And you?" She asks, turning to the other little boy.
"I'm Jack!" He turns his head when he hears Frankie giggle at his enthusiastic response. "Jackson Gray Irwin," he tries, mimicking his brother's response.
"Well," she says, shaking Jack's hand, "I'm Miss June. It's lovely to meet you, Jack. And you too, Francis."
"He's Frankie," Jack corrects. "He doesn't like to talk to people he doesn't know so he's prolly just gonna be quiet."
"Oh," Miss June smiles, nodding at Jack. "Thank you for letting me know that." She gives him a knowing wink before she stands to address Ashton. "You must be Dad," she says, extending her hand again.
"I'm Ashton, nice to meet you," he smiles, using his Serious Dad Voice.
"Likewise," she agrees before turning to you. "I know Ashton's application said he was a single parent, but I see he's brought a friend along. Are you the moral support?"
You nod and offer your hand for a shake.
"This is my best friend, (Y/N)," Ashton introduces you.
"How kind of you to come along," Miss June says, still smiling. "Would you boys like to run along and play with the other children?" She asks, receiving an excited nod from Jackson, who takes Frankie's hand and tugs him along.
"They seem like two peas in a pod," she says, watching as the two boys approach a group of other children.
"You can say that again," Ashton chuckles, folding his arms over his chest. "Just wait till Frankie opens up, they'll be the life of the party."
"I have no doubt about that," Miss June laughs, patting Ashton on the arm. Another family walks into the classroom then and she excuses herself to greet them, telling you and Ashton to have fun talking with the other parents.
The two of you take a seat on the two closest empty chairs you find, Ashton's eyes never leaving his sons as you watch them play.
"God, why am I so nervous for them?" He asks, hands drumming idly on his knees as he fidgets in his chair. "Is there something wrong with me?"
"No," you laugh, "you're their dad. It's practically your job to freak out."
"Right," Ashton gives a curt laugh, leaning back in his seat and putting one arm around your shoulders. "Then, as my best friend, it's your job to distract me from my nervousness."
You lean against his side, watching as Frankie and Jack play with a toy train set.
"Ummm," you think aloud, trying to come up with something to say. "Your kids are adorable?"
He grins then, nodding in agreement. "Well obviously, they're mine."
You roll your eyes and elbow his side, which only makes him pull you in closer to smack a loud kiss to your cheek.
"You coming back to ours after this?" Ashton asks you, fingers drawing idle circles on your shoulder.
"Might as well. I don't have anything else going on," you say, affecting indifference.
Ashton doesn't answer, just pokes your shoulder and goes back to watching the boys play.
"Daddy, come here!" Jack yells excitedly, waving Ashton over. "You gotta see this!"
Ashton laughs as he rises from his seat, hustling over to join in on the fun.
You watch him play with the boys and the other children nearby, making them all laugh as he joins in their game as if he was one of them.
"Which one's yours?"
You jump when you hear a voice next to you, and you smile when you see a woman sitting in the chair Ashton had just occupied, smiling at you with a friendly gleam in her eye.
"Oh, um, the twin boys over there," you nod to where Frankie and Jack are sat side by side, watching Ashton reenact some sort of play using stuffed animals and dolls. "But they aren't mine. That's their dad playing with them."
"They're adorable," she says, nodding. "Mine's the one in the purple tutu," she points to a little redhead over in the corner, coloring a picture with a few other girls. "I'm Corrine, by the way."
"Nice to meet you. I'm (Y/N)."
"So," she starts again, "looking over to Ashton. "Is he your husband?"
"No, no," you laugh, shaking your head.
"Boyfriend?"
You shake your head again, "We're just friends."
"Oh," she says, raising her eyebrows. "I just assumed... I'm sorry, you were cuddled up by yourselves over here it just seemed obvious that there was something between you. You looked so in love. Not to mention the way you were looking at him."
"What?" You ask, disbelieving of the things coming out of this woman's mouth.
Was it really that obvious? Sure, you maybe had a teensy-weensy, tiny little crush on Ashton, but that'd been the case for a long time. You've long since learnt to control your feelings... or so you thought. Was it really so easy for any stranger to see?
You felt your stomach sink as our mind started to race. You didn't need to be thinking about this, but now you couldn't help it.
Sure, you had feelings for Ashton, but you had a handle on them. Especially after years of watching him date other people, and dating other people yourself. You had things under control. You were sure of it.
"Oh no," she says, standing up, "gotta go." With that, she stands up an rushes over to where her daughter as started crying, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
-/-
You stay at the school for a few hours, letting the boys get a feel for the new environment and meeting a few of the other parents. Most of them were nice, though you couldn't keep yourself from reliving every detail of your chat with Corrine in your head. No matter how hard you tried not to think about it, her words still tumbled around in your head.
You couldn't help but wonder if other people had seen you with Ashton and assumed that you were a couple. Obviously, it happened almost any time you went out together, just because you were two adults who tended to hold hands a lot, but you wonder if anyone had ever looked at you and assumed you were in love. In love like Corrine thought you were.
Currently you found yourself zoning out as you sat on his couch, curled up against one end as you watch him playing with Jack and Frankie on the floor of his living room. His camera is recording; he's holding it out in front of himself while the boys take turns talking about their new school in between fights with their action figures.
Jack is talking now, gesturing with his arms as he tells some story about another little boy they'd made friends with.
Frankie watches him with wide eyes, nodding along when appropriate.
You feel your heart flutter with love for these two little boys who are as much a part of your life as their father is. You couldn't love them any more if they were your own.
"Alright, boys," Ashton says, gathering their attention, "I want you to tell me your favorite part of today."
"Can I go first?" Jackson asks immediately, raising his hand like he's already in class.
"Sure, go ahead," Ashton nods, smiling down at his son.
"I liked the part when we got to play at our new school. That was fun."
"I liked that too, Buddy. What about you, Frank?"
"Um," Frankie starts, wrapping his arms around his legs to hug his knees up to his chest. "I liked playing with you and (Y/N) and Jack."
"Me too," you tell him, earning yourself a smile when he turns around to look at you.
"Thank you for sharing, boys," Ashton says as he gets up from where he was sitting. "Time to go start dinner."
He turns the camera back toward himself as he starts talking about what he's about to make, getting lost in the connection he feels with his fans and followers whenever it's just him and a camera.
You start to zone out again, but before you can get lost in your thoughts, you feel Frankie climbing up onto the couch with you, crawling over you and settling himself in your lap. He cuddles close to you and you wrap your arms around him without thinking, rubbing a hand over his back.
"(Y/N)," he says, and you barely hear him because he's speaking so quietly.
"Yes, baby?" You answer, kissing the top of his curly hair.
"I'm scared to go to school."
You hug him closer, lowering our voice a little so you don't draw Jack's attention away from the toy airplane he's running around with.
"Why's that?" You ask, trying to keep your voice light.
"What if the other kids don't like me?"
"Oh, Frankie," you sigh, holding him close. "They're gonna love you! You're the funniest, sweetest, nicest little boy I know. And even if they don't like you, you know what?"
"What?" He asks, brows pulling together pensively.
"I love you."
He smiles at your words, a pink tinge coming to his face.
"And so does Daddy and so does Jack. You boys are gonna have so much fun at school! You'll see."
"Alright," Frankie sighs, resigned. "But if I don't like it you have to tell Daddy that I quit. Okay?"
You stifle a laugh, giving the boy another hug. "Deal."
-/-
After dinner, you and Ashton wash the dishes while Frankie and Jack get ready for bath time. This is usually the time of night when you open a bottle of wine, or watch a movie, or try to iron out any professional details for upcoming events, but right now all you want is to run back to your own apartment and hide from the world for a little bit.
You don't know why, but you can't shake off the embarrassment you've been feeling, just something about your secret not being as secret as you thought it was is really getting to you.
"(Y/N), are you alright?" He asks, staring at you as if he's trying to study you. "You've been acting strangely all day."
"I'm fine," you lie, trying to plaster a smile on your face. "Think I'm gonna head out, actually."
"Already?" Ashton asks, giving you a concerned look. "You don't wanna hang out for a bit?"
"No, sorry. I'm feeling really tired."
"Oh," he says, smiling lamely. You can hear the disappointment in his voice. "Go to bed, then. I'll see you tomorrow, though, right?"
"Tomorrow?" You ask.
"Yeah," Ashton says, "we're supposed to take the boys back to school shopping. Although I don't think it counts as back to school if they've never actually been to school," he jokes, and you feel your heart flutter at the same time your stomach sinks.
You're so in love with Ashton, and the realization makes you want to run and hide even more. Especially when the logical part of you is so eager to remind you that he doesn't feel the same way. That he never will.
"I have to go," you say, turning to leave. "I'll let you know about tomorrow."
"You'll let me know?" He asks you, grabbing you by the elbow to turn you around. "Are you sure you're okay?" His thumbs sweeps over your skin as if to calm you down, and you feel goosebumps raising along your arm.
"Yes, Ashton," you sigh, easing your arm out of his gentle grip. "I just need to be alone right now."
You can tell by his face the exact second he starts to worry.
"You know you can tell me if something's wrong, right?" He asks you, bringing his hands up to your shoulders to squeeze them in reassurance. "I'll always be here for you," he tells you, pulling you into a hug. "I love you."
"I know," you say, feeling yourself deflate as you hug him back.
Just not the way I want you to, you think to yourself, feeling your heart break just a little more as his arms tighten around you.
