#clearpurpleskies

Jack & Ana 🖤🖤🖤🖤

45. feeling their temperature

Norrington cannot call his relapse productive, nor can he call it restful: Elizabeth’s bedside manner resembles that of a tyrant rather than a nurse.

Elizabeth visits his cabin so often, his steward Mr. Colebrooke wordlessly takes it upon himself to nail a chair to the deck beside Norrington's sickbed. Yet she spends most of her time on her feet, gesticulating as she talks, walking the length of his cabin, and busying herself among his belongings before returning to her seat. She reads to him with this purposeful energy: never before has he seen such a bright Viola, if overhasty and too eager to fight Cesario’s duel. She balances out his piteous Orsino.

This frustrates her; it must do. Norrington cannot be anything but poor company, and he cannot see why she does not leave his care to Colebrooke. But neither does he have the strength (either of body or character) to send her away.

As the shivers melt into trembling fevers, and she believes him at rest, she settles in her chair to wait. Through half-lidded eyes Norrington can see how she watches him with a furrowed brow, worrying at her lip, and the thoughts connect at last in his fever-boiled brain.

This is not his first bout with malaria, and it has not killed him yet—but Elizabeth has never seen him succumb to its recurrences. On land he may hide away in his home; there is no such luxury at sea. The tyranny is born from frustration, the frustration from worry.

Norrington stirs, and Elizabeth is instantly alert.

“Trouble sleeping?” she asks, “shall I read?” Before he can answer, she picks up the book closest to her.

Norrington flops onto his back painfully, and he must be smiling, for she adds suspiciously, “What are you about?”

“You are...” Wonderful? Horrible? Overbearing? Life-saving? “...a good nurse,” he says.

She squints at him—then laughs abruptly in understanding. Pointedly she lifts a hand and sets it over his forehead, the touch blessedly cool and comfortingly heavy. It is all Norrington can do not to groan in relief.

“Still feverish and delirious, it seems,” she declares. “I ought to let you rest, after all.”

“No, no,” he objects, “stay. Please,” and sets his hand over hers on his brow.

Perhaps he is delirious. Perhaps she is, as well, for she withdraws her hand and settles back more comfortably, smug as a cat.

I never wanted to be like them—the rest of my family. Most o’ them were villains an’ blackguards who hadn’t a qualm when it came t’ killing. So I swore to myself that I would never kill an’ I would give as much love t’ the world as I could.

But when I saw my brother—one o’ the few people who actually gave a damn about me—about to be gutted by someone? Any an’ all oaths I made t’ myself went out the window.

Teague is far from perfect an’ we have plenty o’ disagreements, but he’s my brother. An’ I’d kill again if it meant keepin’ him safe.

2. show us a picture of your handwriting?

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been too scared to do?

hmm...honestly I'm drawing a blank here hmm...wait I might have something

technically it's something I've already done but it did make my life a whole let better, and also technically, it's not a completed action either. a 'if this happens again, then this will happen' sort of situation.

I had a friend in high school (let's call her C) who was rather emotionally-draining. She is bipolar and has depression and anxiety, so I kinda always gave her the benefit of the doubt even when she seriously hurt my feelings. There were quite a few instances where she would blow up at me over Snapchat (why I don't have Snapchat anymore), one of which was because for one day - one single day I stress - I was talking to one of the other girls in our class about PJO and we literally spent the entire day yapping about it when we weren't working on school work. C was also a PJO fan, so she was welcome to join in anytime and neither of us would have blinked! Instead, she just kept her earbuds in during lunch and didn't bother to interact. And when school ended, and I got home...it was to a FLOOD of angry snaps, accusing me of ignoring her and leaving her out, how dare I associate with PJO girl because apparently she was a bitch (possible, considering a few years beforehand PJO girl and I did NOT have a good relationship, but we sorta smoothed it over, even if our relationship was never quite the same after), ect ect (so lowkey guilt-tripping me)

It was quite stressing. And it didn't help that another time, C started blowing up at me in the SHARED GIRLS' GROUP CHAT and then demanded we move to DMs. I put my foot down then and refused, because like HELL was I going through this without witnesses to her behavior. She then went into another girl's DMs (PJO GIRL'S. YES, HERS. I KNOW.) and started cursing me out to her. PJO girl was very uncomfortable with it and let me know what was going on.

however, like all friendships, you also have the good times, yeah? Like we had fun on school trips, and when we got yapping we would yap. But when Lolling arrived at school and we struck up a friendship, I really did start seeing that I preferred Lolling's company over hers. Because we had a better dynamic, and were capable of having candid discussions over even things we disagreed on/had different viewpoint (for one, Lolling's an Atheist and I'm Catholic, and while we worked on a project for Theology class, we struck up a discussion about it - a normal one! and we actually ended up putting some of our discussion into our project too! it was quite fun and we made each other pause and think things over! neither of us changed our beliefs, but that wasn't either of our goals. we literally just felt like chatting. we do that a lot on important or difficult subjects.)

and then Senior graduation came, and I made a very tough decision that still makes me feel guilty on occasion...and I lowkey ghosted C. I have not initiated contact with her in nearly 3 years now. She has, but you know the phrase "put in the effort you want to receive"? yeah, if she wants me to contact her more than maybe she shouldn't only do so 1) on my birthday; or 2) 2 years after graduation, say that I was going to be "an aunt" (AGAIN WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN FOR 2 YEARS AT THIS POINT) and tell me she was having a baby.

the kicker here is she didn't invite either Lolling or I to her wedding, either. so. again. effort you wanna receive.

but yeah. Cutting off C was a very tough thing for me to do, and stressed me out to NO end (because she DOES still have my number, and is friends with me on Facebook) but I have decided that, if she ever does blow up at me again, that I'm going to cut that final thread and block her - number and profile and all.

besides, her and I's political standpoints...are different. yeeahhh... I used to think she was on the same wavelength as Lolling and I, but honestly looking back, it just seemed like she was just agreeing with us just to agree with us. Lolling noticed that too, and has also reported very little contact from C since graduation. (besides the baby update - of which there was a baby SCARE a few months BEFOREHAND that C did NOT tell me about, but she did Lolling - AND ON THE FLIPSIDE, I was the only one C said would be "an aunt". Lolling was GOBSMACKED when I showed her the text asdfjkl She also found it incredibly strange considering the two years without a spoken word between us.)

whew boy did NOT mean to loredump all that but I think context was needed for this because basically cutting off that friendship really has made me feel better. It scared me because, again, I think I was lowkey traumatized by all the Snapchat Attacks, but I feel wayyyy better. Sure, Lolling's essentially my only IRL friend, but that's good enough for me. We text, we DM, and we plan hang-out days! In fact, we had one just nearly two weeks ago, and we ran around the truck stop pointing at the toys and going "omg childhood" XD We're planning to see Sunrise on the Reaping in theaters later this year too!

so yeah. effort you want to receive.

36. are you an open book or do you have walls up?

I think when I'm out and about I'm much more closed off. Like I'm still friendly, but I'm not prone to projecting my thoughts/feelings, unless I want to be left alone lol Then I'm TRYING to project 'leave me alone' vibes XD

but around certain people they can tell What I'm Thinking lol Like Lolling and I jabber so much that when one of us is blanking on a word, the other near-immediately will provide it. On the other hand though, my mom will assume I'm upset if she seems my resting face.

oh man. this is a great way to realize i do not actually dislike any step in the process—it's all pretty tedious and rote in some way but that's half the fun if you're like me and love Methods and Patience

my favorite though.....for such a physical craft i do love the digital parts of it—setting the text in publishing software and working with fonts and margins and all that whatnot. by far the most time consuming part but it's so much fun to me, like a really satisfying puzzle. whenever i'm binding books with blank pages it always feels a little incomplete!

biggest project is probably these needlessly detailed binds of my norribeth oneshots and the box to match—getting everything to line up was SUCH a nightmare. (and i'm realizing now i need to update this with the fics that have come after God Damn It.) but the longest individual book i've sewn is this pocket version of persuasion from a few months ago :) i haven't posted about her since i want to do a pride and prejudice to match, just haven't gotten around to it quite yet. i am such a fan of how all these colors came together ❤️

ehehe OF COURSE!! this is so going to be a game of "inventing shit on the spot" for her, but what is more fun than that <3

12. What is the worst thing that has happened to your OC? How has it affected their behavior, their health, and their life in general?

dying before the series starts 🤪

HMM!!!! penny is very competitive, and a slyer version of the classic period drama mother hen. i like the idea that she had a sense and sensibility situation going on—she's from an old and rich noble family, but after her father died, her older brother the heir did not bother to care for his ailing mother/numerous sisters and left them to fend for themselves. she dragged herself and her sisters through their youth and bagged herself a baddy like weatherby swann (in a love match, even!), but it came at the cost of any enjoyment of those years.

despite her wealth and security post-marriage, i think it's made her constantly aware of how easy it actually is to slip from the good graces of society through something that is not your fault. it's just not something gov swann ever had to deal with, and it makes her seem very harsh in comparison to him, when she is just a realist. and he probably likes it tbh.

46. Does your OC carry any guilt with them?

oh none whatsoever LMAO it's a huge flaw of hers <3

she is very aware of the distinction between something that happened to her and something that happened because of her. everything that qualifies as the former she can readily blame someone else for, and everything in the latter she would not do if she did not believe it was necessary. i think it would take a disaster with a body count for her to carry guilt around with her (beyond what is necessary for social graces, of course).

30. How paranoid is your OC? How does this affect their daily life?

she's never outwardly nervous, and i imagine all her fears are not what she would even recognize as fears? all of her plans (and i do mean all of them) tend to be far-reaching and bone-deep. i think she considers her fear of disgrace and not being able to provide for elizabeth as Her Duty rather than her reaction to a glaring failure of society, and it impacts pretty much everything she does. every gathering she hosts, every conversation she has—it all weaves the social net that will cushion her family if any gear in the works breaks.

2. Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

recency bias rears its head once more, but i do think to the ends of the earth (potc, norribeth, 34k) came out the best it possibly could have. very rarely do i hit on something that ties together so well on thematic, dramatic, and emotional levels 💖

5. What’s something you learned while researching a fic?

forgive my penisposting but i did learn that in 18th c. england, circumcision was pretty much only considered as a last-resort surgical option for venereal diseases until the victorian era. so most of those potc dudes are uncut.

10. Is there a character or ship you'd love to write for, but haven't yet?

so, so incredibly niche, but for months i have been sitting on an idea for a fic where elizabeth and todd, her toxic lieutenant from ye olde dragonfic, break the law and duel out their differences and it's weirdly tense and romantic. and i have been meaning to write something more centered around elizabeth and her pops too, just haven't hit on a compelling idea yet. one day! one day to all of this!!!!