#cleaning rant

As someone who just moved into an apartment that had 3 other people there first, Pleeease do not let your kitchen get this gross!!! Any self respecting health inspector would have shut this kitchen down.

Mostly, I have enjoyed it. I feel like I don't really know anything else, and that living away from home means living with friends. During that time, I've had a long term relationship, several short ones and moved hemispheres (and back). Now though, I find myself with a new problem.

I usually sit just below the most clean-freak person - meaning they do all the extra stuff and I do a lot of the daily and weekly things. I do not like hoovering, I'll put that one out there. So I don't usually hoover. But I do like a clean home, and seemingly my version of clean is a relatively high standard. The point, as I'm sure you can see I am getting to, is the people I currently live with do not need the house to be as clean as I like it.

I live with a very good friend, and the friend of a friend. Unfortunately, the friend of the friend and I do not seem to get on very well. I find being with her awkward. I don't know what to talk about, and I often find there is an uncomfortable silence. I don't think she likes me very much. I am not good at awkward silence. I am very good at talking pretty much WITH, let alone TO myself, if you don't proffer a response.

Awkward Housemate doesn't seem to feel like she's part of the house. I feel like she is just passing through, almost like a cousin, staying for a few weeks whilst she gets on her feet in London. She doesn't make a mess, but I'm not sure she has done any cleaning either. She has her own cooking utensils and doesn't use the others. She uses a separate drying rack for her clothes and won't have phone conversations in the same room as us. I have not seen her in her pjs. (I live in my pjs after 8pm on a weeknight. Ok, and on Sundays). All in, it's like she's trying to stay out of our way.

The good friend and I have lived together for about five years. In this time, I have always been aware that she doesn't very often feel inclined towards cleaning. In fact, she's a crumb-leaver. I have rarely known anyone able to open a cupboard and perform the seemingly simple task of transferring cereal and milk into a bowl immediately beneath said cupboard and make such a mess in the process. This would be a very minor annoyance if she didn't take a good look at the ensuing mess, like a cat who has just knocked over a houseplant, then pick up the bowl and walk away. It's not as though she cleans up when she's done either. In the past, a mutual friend was over, and she was transferring soup from the pan to a tupperware. Over the hob top. The friend said "why don't you do that over the sink? You are making such a mess". Her response? "Don't tell Hanna". So, you know, she KNOWS.

She is also immune to water around the sink and paste flicks on the mirror, the increasing grit on the carpet, festering food in the fridge and mould in the bathroom. She simply does not see it. In the past I've asked for more attention to cleaning duties, and she told us she doesn't want to "get into the habit of doing unnecessary cleaning" and, in fact, "can't see these so called crumbs [we] get so angry about".

When Awkward Housemate moved in about six months ago, we got a cleaner. She comes once a fortnight for three hours. In my mind, this is the fortnightly deep clean that keeps things spotless. It's really nice to not have to do it myself. However, both of the others seem to think that is ALL the cleaning that ever needs to be done.

OK, ok, they take out the bins. I think they spray the kitchen surfaces after they've cooked a meal. They do not hoover or sweep up. The bathroom descends into a slightly slimy, orange-tinged wet room with musty towels and permanently damp bathmats.

I have to confess to getting pretty indignant. I do the bathroom about twice a week. I do things like window seals and shower hoses. Bleach/ scrub/ polish. I wipe down woodwork and door handles. I sweep the kitchen at least twice a week too - but that's only because I can't leave it any longer. I clean the fridge. I very regularly throw out completely liquified vegetables. This, from the same flatmate who will not eat the hummus she opened yesterday, so buys and opens a new one. But leaves the old one in the fridge. Once, there were five in there. All hers. All half eaten. One of them was about to explode; it wasn't fit for eating less than 24 hours after she'd bought it, but it would have been FINE to leave in the fridge that the rest of us use until it was so full of bacteria that it popped.