#class 24

Today I watched the AmeriCorps NCCC North Central Region Class XXV induction ceremony on Facebook. It’s crazy to think that exactly a year ago today my first team and I left our campus in Vinton, IA to travel the midwest in a 15p van. We maintained trails, cut fire line, turned an old camp bath house into a classroom, removed invasive plants, provided extra hands at a boys and girls club, taught archery, painted hallways at a college, and cleaned and packaged museum artifacts for transport. My second team and I fenced in vacant lots, demolished the interior of an old apartment building, helped with a wellness program, painted dorm rooms, painted and restored the exterior of several historic buildings, and provided maintenance at a summer camp. Most of all, I changed more as a person and a professional in that year than any other year of my life. I owe who I am today to NCCC.

Looking at the faces of the new CMs and TLs who just graduated Corps Training Institute and are about to head out to their first projects, I remember what it was like to sit in that auditorium. I had no clue what I had signed up for, no clue what the year would bring. Heck, at the time I’d thought TLT and CTI were difficult! I learned more about diversity and teamwork and perseverance that year than I could ever have dreamed. I got a brand new concept and appreciation of service and leadership, not as buzzwords but as a frame of mind. I learned who I was, who I wanted to be, and who I became when the year came to a close. It was absolutely the hardest and most rewarding year of my life.

1.             I have a girlfriend now, but do not feel like establishing covenants like this is feasible or even preferable at this point in our relationship. The relationship is on a “see what happens” status right now, and we aren’t even sure that we will live in the same city after I graduate.  My answers below are how I picture establishing covenants once I am living with my girlfriend or married.

  2.            Based on what you know of the extensive time, money, and energy requirements of starting a business, identify with your partner the challenges you expect to your relationship in the following areas:

·      Personal finances – We should set a budget with long-term and short-term (less than one year) goals annually. Once a month, we will discuss to see how we are tracking.

·      Quality time together – We will commit to at least one date night ‘out’ per month, as well as at least one night with each others’ friends ‘out’ per month.

·      Household roles and responsibilities – If I’m with my current girlfriend when this gets established, she will probably not even let me be in charge of much outside of taking out the trash, etc. She’s a bit of a control freak about cleaning, which is perfectly fine with me. We will likely take turns making dinner or make dinner together, which is something that we have fun doing together occasionally.

·      Communication and conflict resolution – We will continue to be upfront and honest when we are annoyed about something before letting it develop into a big deal. I will promise to let her collect her thoughts without pressing for information before she is ready to discuss something.

·      Parenting – We will take turns reading to our kids each night. She will do the majority of the caretaking. We will make it a priority to eat as a family at home at least 2 nights / week.

·      Hobbies, vacations, and leisure activities – We will commit to taking at least one out-of-town vacation each year, not including going back to Texas for the holidays. We will continue to participate in recreational sports in our city.

·      Extended family – We will commit to spending time with both families around the holidays, ideally switching off holidays.

  3.            Agree upon at least five rules, principles, or regular practices to help address some of these trials. Start each item with the statement “We commit to . . .” Examples might be:

·      We commit to taking at least one one-on-one vacation per year.

·      We commit to creating a household budget and meeting once per month to look at the numbers and make adjustment.

·      We commit to finding fun things to do together at least twice / month (not the same as date nights), like go to shows and comedy shows.

·      We commit to being upfront about things that are annoying us so they don’t build up over time.

·      We commit to supporting each other in each of our separate endeavors. We commit to enjoy one date night together per month.

  Reflection Questions

  1.     What fears or concerns from your partner surprised you when you discussed the challenges of being an entrepreneurial family? What does your partner most need from you in order to experience connectedness to you?

a.     The most important thing I have to do when I am so focused on doing my own thing (like Acton or starting my own business) is to let my girlfriend know that I am thinking about her periodically by sending simple texts, emails, etc.

2.     Which of the promises in your relational covenant will be most difficult to keep? What is your strategy for keeping that promise?

a.     The hardest thing for me will be not pressing the issue when I can tell she wants to talk about something, but doesn’t have the words for it yet. I am pretty blunt and like to get things out in the open as soon as possible. She has a tendency to think about it for a day or so before articulating it, so even when I can tell something is wrong, I usually have to wait for a bit before I can understand that the issue is. It’s not a huge problem, but probably the most stressful part of our current relationship for me and I make it worse by pressing her on it. To get around it, I just need to drop it immediately and go do my own thing when she is stewing. My instinct is to draw closer, but I need to do the exact opposite.

3.     Are the two of you equally and voluntarily sharing the sacrifice in the relationship? Do you share a common dream?

a.     Currently, I think we are sharing the sacrifice equally. We both are pursuing our own careers at the risk of the relationship, but it’s something we have discussed openly and are aware of.

Dreams in the Next 10 Years:

1.     Lose and keep off 20 lbs by working out regularly and eating healthier

2.     Drive down California 1

3.     Run a half-marathon

4.     Own my own company

5.     Learn Chinese

6.     Own a home

7.     Repay student debt

8.     Write more music and play it publicly

9.     Become well-known as an innovator in the music industry

10. Go to Carnival in Brazil

Reflection Questions

1.     Did this learning experience change the way you think about motivating people? If so, how? If not, why not?

a.     Yes. This book was surprisingly awesome. Maybe because of how late it was sent out, I was particularly unexcited to read this entire book this weekend and really just planned to skim it, but once I started it, I couldn’t stop reading it. It was eye opening and really helped me develop a sense of how I want to develop the culture of my own company. Enabling people to fulfill their own dreams is something I am absolutely going to pursue in my own business. I hated working for companies in the past and having to lie about what my 5-year or 10-year goals were because I knew they were inconsistent with the vision of the person hiring me. Surprisingly, this book was extremely close to what two of my most rewarding interviews of entrepreneurs have spoken about. I actually felt compelled to email them the book and recommend it to them.

  2.     Is it always possible to encourage others to pursue their own dreams without damaging a company? If so, why? If not, why not?

a.     Yes. Aligning goals of a person with the goals of a company is absolutely possible every time. If someone has goals that are inconsistent with the company, then it’s in the company’s best interest to help them find a job that will help them get further toward fulfilling their goals and their level of appreciation and long-term gratitude to you will be invaluable. Helping people achieve their personal dreams as a means of inspiring loyalty and reducing turnover is something I knew intuitively, but haven’t been able to articulate. This is exactly the kind of company I want to run.

  3.     Did you have trouble exploring and understanding other peoples’ dreams? If so, was it because you had a hard time imagining how their dreams could help you? Or because you found it difficult to talk to others about such personal subjects? Or neither?