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phasma-first-order replied to your post ātmi sex life but funny, rightā
Huh! My ex and I had sort of the reverse, where he mentioned that it would be cool if I became able to have multiple orgasms. Meanwhile I thought of multiple orgasms as "I have read they're a real thing, but I don't feel any interest in trying to do that. One is perfectly satisfying, thanks!"
I honestly am sad I have written so little f/f in my life because while thereās all different arousal/climax kinds of responses in all kinds of humans, I think itās a lot more diverse in women (and again, Iām not being gender essentialist; Iām willing to bet itās even more startlingly diverse in trans people and non-gender-binaried sorts, and I actually would love to research it but donāt really know how?) -- and a lot of that may be society, men are kind of conditioned to have very traditional sex, I think! and a part of the Accepted Normal Thing of sex is that it all builds up to a Climax and then youāre Done and Zonk Out, because I do think thatās a very standard sexual response pattern (I have no idea what terminology to use here, btw, so) in traditionally-bodied cis male people. With acknowledgement that the reason itās so standard might, in many cases, just be conditioning.Ā
But itās not like that pattern doesnāt happen inĀ āfemaleā-bodied people too-- for many people, climax occurs and then youāre just most comfortable stopping, for various reasons. And thatās normal and fine.
(ok iām finally hitting a TMI threshhold where I feel like I gotta cut, I left the other entry uncut because it was general enough to be hashtag-relatable, I figured, LOL. I mean Iām trying generally to keep it on that level, this is not a confessional here, but, Iām gonna cut anyway.)
Honestly, I used to be mostly anorgasmic, for many years-- and that was a challenge, lemme tell you, because nobody really knows how to have that kind of sex, least of all someone whoās almost never actually had an orgasm. It wasnāt that it was bad or unsatisfying, it was that it confused other people. There are so many different kinds of sex itās possible to have. I mean, I also did have a lot of bad sex, not that it was awful but that it wasnāt particularly satisfying on its own, but it was filling a social role for me and that was important and I do wish Iād had some better role models of how to deal with that but it wasnāt particularly unhealthy, it was just more stressful than it had to be. It was only as I simultaneously got more comfortable and, I think, underwent some hormonal changes, and my partner got more used to me but it was a long learning curve, and that shifted from no-climaxes to many-climaxes, and itās not the same all the time and sometimes I definitely experience just The Big One and Okay Lights Out Folks, but a lot of times, no. We just stop when heās done, but I donāt care because Iāve had a good time pretty much the whole time, so thatās fine, and yeah, I could keep going, but I could also just go on to the next part of my day, because I mean, we share a bed, if I want more later I can surely ask.
I guess itās also kind of a lesson that no matter how well you think you know someone, how many extremely intimate experiences youāve shared, how long youāve spent very close together, their perspective on something may be entirely different!Ā
Anyway the moral of the story is that bodies are super weird and no two people fuck alike. Also, if you have not discussed an experience in words, you have no way of knowing what anyone else who shared that experience really thought was going on.Ā
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