#cisse-thinks!

Well, of course, until Toji Zenin disappeared, only a note and a baby in your womb—8 months young—in his wake.

The wedding had been a sterile affair, nothing like the personality you repressed would desire. White with little green flowers. Sweet but melancholic.

That night you had consummated under the watchful gaze of a clan recorder. It hurt, the scratches down his back not from pleasure. They had collected the sheets as evidence of purity the next day.

It was unemotional. Devoid of any real accomplishment. But when you looked in the mirror and tried to imagine yourself pregnant you couldn't help but be excited at the thought of a possible life inside you. A family. Something you never felt before.

It was considered a miracle you were pregnant.

Even your estranged family, your absent parents, visited with gifts and praise. You had finally done something right. Everyone suddenly loved you.

Except for Toji, he was around but distant. Miles away. Did the bare minimum to care for you but at least he would bring you water or order the servants to take good care of you.

8 months, and you knew it would be a boy. Something you were showered in more praise for. If they stayed this happy about you forever, you might always give Toji children. As long as you got the attention and care your inner child craved.

Please, you would pray every night, Please let them continue loving me.

But then, he was gone. Toji fled before you returned home from a meeting with the Zenin Elders and doctors. His stuff gone like he'd planned it.

You’d cried. Screamed, stumbled to the floor as the letter explained that Toji had been working to annul the marriage since the beginning and through a loop hole he had. Your parents hadn’t let you read the contract, only making you sign so you did not know about the clause until it was too late.

Pregnant and now unmarried with virtually no two feet to stand on.

You called your parents shocked and alone, though your parents hadn’t let never been ones to coddle they were receptive.

At first they had been surprisingly kind until you realized their plan. They cooed, told you they could set up another wedding, just give them the baby. To be used to blackmail the Zenins? Fuck no. You’d rather run away with almost nothing to your name.

So you were alone. You moved to a shitty part of town and cut off contact with your family, not that there was much before that.

You’d always been cold. Emotionally frostbitten.

Soon enough your baby boy is born and you cry because he is so so warm against your chest. Something you hadn’t felt ever. You knew you would do whatever to protect him from everyone.

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