Kurochiās laughter died down into stray giggles, the kind that would burst from his chest as he thought about what had set off his laughter to begin with. He wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes. Even though heād stopped laughing, he couldnāt wipe the smile from his face.
He liked this, being so close to Kaito. Even if his heart beat unbearable quick when they touched, or his face burst into flames if their eyes caught at just the right moment. These moments, where they could laugh so hard together, and stay comfortable even as they fell silent, they were too precious for him to give up.
Kaitoās voice drew his gaze back onto his face. Kurochi gave him a curious look, complete with a quizzical tilt of his head. He didnāt expect the question to come out of his mouth.
āAh?ā At first all Kurochi could do was make a helpless noise. Forget the racing heartbeat; his heart stopped altogether. āIā. Uhā¦ā
In his view, that hesitance alone was damning. Still, Kurochi couldnāt bring himself to answer right away, his eyes scanning desperately over Kaitoās features. What did Kaito think of it? Would it be a good or a bad thing, if they were really flirting with each other?
Kurochi hadnāt meant to flirt with Kaito. Not so obviously, at least. Heād accepted already that Kaito just wouldnāt ever like him back. He bit his lower lip, terrified of how to answer.
If he said that the flirting wasnāt serious, that they were just friends, Kurochi was sure that Kaito would take his word on it. He wouldnāt ask him again, and any faint hope that Kaito would return his feelings would be snuffed out forever. But if he said that it was serious⦠If Kurochi admitted that he thought of Kaito as something other than a friendā¦
What would Kaito think of him if he didnāt feel the same as Kurochi?
Unable to hold his gaze on Kaitoās face any longer, Kurochiās eyes dropped to the floor. He squeezed his hands together, willing himself to speak. It still took him a solid minute to work up the courage.
āI-is it⦠would it be a bad thing if it was serious?ā
Kurochiās hesitance in answering tied Kaitoās stomach into knots, and if it werenāt for the way his throat constricted and stole his ability to speak, he mightāve snatched back up the question with a forced laugh. But all he could do was wait through the torturous minute for Kurochi to finally respond.
His non-answer and returning of the question increased Kaitoās nerves tenfold. The ball was in his court, despite his attempt to get an idea of Kurochiās feelings before confessing anything and making things awkward between them. Not that things werenāt already; his question had made Kurochi nervous as well, that much was clear.
Kaito just couldnāt tell if it was nervousness from admitting any feelings, or nervousness for potentially having to let Kaito down. The question leaned towards the former, but... It didnāt make it any less intimidating.
āWell, I mean... I... I donāt think it would be bad..?ā His voice broke in the middle of his response, and he felt his face heat up all the way to his ears. But even if he was embarrassed, it was too late to back down now.Ā āI wouldnāt... think it was bad, at least.ā
He swallowed, averting his eyes. His chest felt so tight, and his fingers curled into fists to help calm the trembling in his arms. His body wanted to run away, pumping adrenaline through his veins to attempt to urge him into motion. It didnāt want to hear the answer, too afraid that it would be negative, that it would be rejection. But at the same time, his legs were frozen, too stiff to move.
Whatever Kurochiās reaction was, he would have to face it.