#cinelli alter

HIDDEN TREASURE IN THE TOOL DRAWER: ALTER STICKER

The once-in-a-few-years cleanout of the bike tool junk drawer always yields interesting stuff. An instruction manual for a long-obsolete suspension fork. A brand new, still-in-the-box Softride Flexstem (seriously). Seat clamps.

This time it yielded something with mind scrambling cred. This sticker.

For those of you who aren’t Mario Cippolini, this is one of the pinup girl stickers that was meant to adorn Cinelli’s short-lived and chunky-but-cool-as-hell Alter stem.

Seems that only “Il Re Leone” could handle sprinting balls-out, elbow-to-elbow to the line while ogling these pretty ladies.

Even my loose translation of those instructions up there goes something like:

1) Put this superdelicious lady on your stem and do it now.  

2) Stare at her. She is sexy, yes? Attention: sexy ones like this will be in sexy positions when you come over the finish line. 

3) Stop the too much staring or you will crash into Dolomite mountain. Go win now.  

I gave away my Alter stem long ago so it has no home. There’s one chap out there who’s got a stem just waiting for this. No charge. As long as it gets to ride shotgun. He knows who he is, but he’s got to send his address.

Say goodbye to the sexy stem lady now. Ciao.