Your finger pauses mid sentence on the line you’re reading. You’ve practiced feigning nonchalance for this moment, but nothing could have prepared you for that.

“Oh. You were serious about that?”

Was that convincing? Does he hear the way your voice wavers? Can he hear your already shattered heart crushing itself into fine powder?

He doesn’t notice, of course. Too caught up in his head to notice you these days.

“I’m thinking about proposing to her soon.”

It takes all the perfectly practiced poise instilled into your very bones not to lift your head up from where you sit and scream. Maybe you should finally thank your mother for forcing you to take all those etiquette classes. It’s thanks to them that your voice comes out evenly when you congratulate him.

“I’m surprised you didn’t drop to your knees the second you found her.”

He chokes at your statement. It's at this time you drop your teachings and laugh unabashedly at him. After all, what’s a best friend for if not to laugh at each other? He glares at you while he massages his chest, coughing until his airways clear up.

"I wanted to, you know, but I wanted to get to know her better before I did. Marriage is a big deal, after all."

Don’t you know it.

You cast a glance at Namjoon, watch the way he can't seem to keep his eyes off the ring in his hands. Once upon a time, before this woman appeared out of thin air and swept your best friend off his feet, you were promised to him. It was never officially declared, but it was always implied. Heavily implied. Even by him. For as long as you’ve known him, he’d never expressed romantic interest in other people.

"They just don't captivate me. Everyone’s in it for the wealth. None of them have ever tried to get to know me for me," he'd told you once. 

Then in she came like a whirlwind and pulled him away from your side—a place where he’s always been. You don't know if it's better this way. For him to fall in love with someone you don't know. 

“So this is love, huh?” he murmurs with a lovesick look in his eyes. “Who knew it could feel so amazing?”

After putting the ring back in the safety of its box, he sets it down and searches for your hand hidden underneath the book you’re reading. The press of his fingertips sends jolts straight to your heart and you can do nothing but watch with bated breath when he takes your hand in his.

“I can't wait for you to feel this too. Loving someone like this."

It’s like a punch in the gut and you pray a single blink will absorb the wetness that fills your eyes. He’s so close to you. He’s sitting right there and yet he’s never been farther away.

“What’s it feel like?”

“Like a miracle. I feel like I can fly. Like I have the keys to heaven.” 

He’s glowing. For every word that comes out of his mouth, spinning poetry about his love for her, he glows. Was he ever this radiant when he talked about you? Did you ever stand a chance?

“That sounds wonderful, Joon. I’m really happy she makes you feel that way.”

“Do you think she feels the same?”

Ah, the other duties of a best friend. Reassurance. Encouragement. You can do this. It doesn’t take much to smile for him. You know she’s as smitten with him as he is with her. If you’re to be beaten out of the race, at least you know it’s by a worthy opponent.

“She does. Trust me.”

He lets out a sigh of relief and picks up the ring box again.

"Thank you, princess. For everything you've done for me. I don't think I'd have found her if not for you."

It shouldn't sting as much as it does. That he no longer addresses you as "my princess." The possessive "my" no longer affiliated with you.

"Don't mention it. You know I'd do anything for you."

"And I, you. Promise me you'll come to me should you ever want for anything. You know I'll make it happen."

You plaster on a smile and simply nod along. How could you tell him that the only thing you've ever wanted was his heart? That you already know what love is. That once upon a time, you, too, knew what it was like to fly, high on love. That now, love tastes bitter on your tongue.

“Of course, Joon. I’m happy for you! You deserve happiness.”

"I was happy even when it was just you and me, princess.”

It’s not fair. The way he can say that so easily, so unaware of how your traitorous heart beats amidst the turmoil warring within you.

"You know what I meant."

You push at his shoulder lightly. An excuse, really. This might be the last time you can touch him so freely. The last time he comes to you as a single man.

“Thanks, princess. I’m so blessed to have you as my best friend. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Now go get your girl.”

He brightens considerably and with a kiss to your knuckles, he dashes out of the library in search of his beloved. Meanwhile, the tears you’ve fought against so determinedly finally fall. You pray that he hasn’t forgotten something and doesn’t come running back in. You wouldn’t have the strength to explain to him how quickly your smile drops, how you wipe your hand against the cloth of your skirt, desperate to erase his touch from your skin.

Tears land scattered on the pages of your book and you know it’ll leave the pages wrinkled and discolored, but you don’t care. For now, you just want some peace and if that means the evidence of your love forever embedded in this book in order for you to feel some release, then so be it.

original post

— accompanying headcanons: one - two - three - four

SO THIS IS LOVE

— ❝ So this is the miracle that I’ve been dreaming of. So this is love. ❞

SO THIS IS WHAT MAKES LIFE DIVINE

— ❝ It’s his wedding day and life couldn’t be better. ❞

Oc can do nothing but stand by as she watches her prince fall in love with a stranger. Then the girl runs away. bc cinderella dUH. and he asks oc to help him find her bc she’s his best friend. duUH. 

And cinderella is so kind and so beautiful and oc can't even bring herself to hate cinderella especially after hearing about all the abuse she’s endured living with her stepmother. Anyway. Oc never marries bc if it's not him she doesn't want it. And he always worries over her, even well into old age, and she hates it but she loves it too. Could never tell him no. And it’s just not a happy ending for her. But at least her prince is happy with his Cinderella ;w;

Correction: bc happiness is not measured by whether ur love is reciprocated or not lol. She does live a happy and fulfilled life. It’s just not shared with joon :c not in the way she’s always wanted :c

hi @cutechim this is what me and @coepiteamare do when ur not around to control us.

anyway joon’s like wtf you never told me?! and oc’s like would it have changed anything?! and he’s like “...........” bc he doesn’t know the answer to that. and she says “that’s what i thought.” and she leaves like immediately and actually doesn’t return for a long ass time. like not even for the birth of their first born. and joon is so soooo sad his best friend isn’t there to celebrate with him and so cinderella travels to oc’s place once her son’s weaned from breastmilk even tho strict orders by the doctor not to leave the castle! bc childbirth and breast feeding hello. but she made a mistake and she’s desperate to fix it. and she tells oc “he’s not the same without you. he doesn’t know how to function without you. please please don’t shut him out he needs you. he married me but by the gods above, he will surely die if he loses you.” and oc is so sad to hear that bc she loves joon so much but she’s so hurt. but ofc, she could never say no to joon. so she makes ella promise she’ll never bring up her feelings for joon again and that ella will also tell joon when she goes back home not to bring it up ever again either. ella promises ofc.