#cigc week3

http://fortydaysofdating.com/ is a blog that documented Jessica Walsh and Timothy Goodman’s journey of dating for 40 days.

I’m sure this is already something that a lot of people have seen, considering this was a project done a long time ago but even up until now, going back to read this and see this every now and then was refreshing. That’s how it’s a good project - in terms of the design aspect from the website down to the little graphics and illustrations they’ve done for one another, and the idea of documenting this experiment - genius, even if they didn’t think this would be a hit.

Initially, I think everyone had a little hope or continued following on day after day in hopes it’ll turn into something more, but I believe that the growth behind it was so important. They were two individuals that are of the opposite sex, friends, never dated each other before, surely people would want a clichè moment of ‘that-rom-com-you-see-every-cheesy-valentine-in-hopes-they’d-fall-in-love’. 

But I’m glad they didn’t.

Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved | Esther Perel

This tedtalk was a rather interesting watch. Before watching it, I was so sure that I wouldn’t take in anyone who cheated or committed infidelity until this. Really changed my way of thinking and instead of shutting a person out, understanding deeply why they’re doing it in the first place is rather interesting. That it could’ve been something that happened between two people rather than one person taking the whole blame.

Week 3: Gender Discussion // 29.10.2018

The question we first get asked is: “Why is it important to talk about gender?”

Well, mainly because gender equality is still a thing that exists.

I googled up some gender equality statistics just to get a general grasp of what’s going on or the numbers that are being up to date and... um...

1. 21 Facts About Gender Inequality You Need To Know Now

Women with full-time jobs still earn only about 77 percent of their male counterparts' earnings. Talk about how much you earn, and report inequality. Learn about how to file a charge of discrimination with the EEOC here. (White House) 

African-American women earn 64 cents and Latina women earn 56 cents for every dollar earned by a Caucasian man. Lean In offers resources for negotiation in the workplace. (White House)

62 million girls are denied an education all over the world, and former First Lady Michelle Obamastarted shining a light on this issue through her Let Girls Learn initiative in 2015. #UpForSchool wants to continue to fight to change that. Sign their petition here. (UN Foundation; 62 Million Girls)

2. Genderstats

I mean, from that alone, there’s already a difference between men and women that is clearly being shown today. Countless of statistics and data being shown that women are being mistreated as compared to men. Women don’t earn as much as men do even if they do the same workload if not more. Men are known for working hard because they should and women should be cleaning. Should that actually be the way?

Yet, some people think that gender shouldn’t be a big deal. But... it is. When asked what are the things we identify ourselves with, surely I could say I’m a happy-go-lucky person or I’m a hardworking dude but when someone asks you to describe a person, the pronoun you use whether it’s a ‘he’ or ‘she’ is already a part of someone’s identity. Gender is a part of an identity whether we like it or not and it does play an important role. In my opinion, at least.

A little experience I’ve had with gender is that growing up in Malaysia, there’s a slight ‘thing’ where guys had the freedom to going out more than girls. In my case, my brother is a year older than me, but because he’s a guy, he was allowed to head out more compared to me. While he was allowed to stay out late past midnight, I had to come back home by midnight because I was a girl.

Which I understood my parents’ intentions. It’s dangerous for a girl to head out at night, let alone alone, let alone past midnight. But isn’t it dangerous for a guy, too? Not only bad things can happen to girls, but because we see things on the news that paint it for it to be way more dangerous than it is for guys, we’re more inclined to stay in than to have the freedom to go out like guys do.

Which sucked, by the way. But it wasn’t like I could do much about it. Until the news started showing that not only rape cases happened to girls but to guys as well, it was a new thing in Malaysia that started to treat guys and girls as equals. We still have our preconceived notions, but it’s getting there.

That brings to another point of how guys don’t really open up about their feelings as compared to girls. Or how guys are seen and painted to be ‘strong’, which is why when they talk about their feelings, it’s ‘weak’. Which is not healthy, too. Or how girls are able to hold hands with their friends and it’s considered platonic, but as soon as guys start holding other guys hands, it’s ‘gay’? Double standards, definitely, but just something that has been a norm nowadays.

Thinking about this further, to put it into the industry context or when it comes to finding a job, do women have less chances compared to men? Below is a chart by YouGov, shows statistics of some interesting numbers.

So even if we were to say we’re moving forward to a world of equal opportunity immaterial of gender, these numbers and continuous research tells us otherwise. Which... is a little sad, when you think about it, but I believe that we’re constantly progressing forward especially with associations and groups that empower women to drive ahead.

Unilever, their bit on empowering women and providing sustainable jobs to all

Why Men Oppress Women, Steve Taylor Ph.D.