#cieu

In between kisses and moans you finished discarding your clothing and Bucky’s shirt, you unbuckled Bucky’s pants and pulled them and his underwear down to his knees, Bucky’s metal hand snaked into your core and started rubbing circles into your clit which prompted you to bite his shoulder to stop you from moaning. “Bucky please, I need you to fuck me now” you whispered grabbing Bucky by his tags to kiss him.The supersoldier wasted no time, while kissing you hungrily he grabbed both of your legs to pick you up easily and get inside of you immediately.

Which he did without a warning. he started thrusting inside of you, he pressed your back against the wall and picked up his pace making you both feel like you’re floating. You instinctively started rolling your hips making Bucky certain he’s seeing stars “that’s it gorgeous, you are doing so good baby keep moving around me” he breathed out, his praises making you go faster and feel your rise coming sooner. You were squeezing Bucky, who pulled out of you as he felt you reach your high making his cum fly into your stomach and chest.

You both breathed heavily as he lowered you and pressed kisses into your forehead. Bucky looks to your chest and bites his lip admiring how it was now covered in cum, you looked down and quickly realized there was nothing you could use to clean yourself up. When you told him your concerns he looked to the floor and picked up your panties using them to “dry you up” and he then tucked them into his back pocket “sorry for bursting your bubble but that is kinda nasty, will you really get off on my underwear filled with your dried cum?” You said getting dressed sans your panties. “Hey I’ll wash ‘em but these are pretty hot, just like you doll” he responded pulling you into a long kiss, you felt like you were dreaming.”

“Babygirl, sweetie! Hello!!” Natasha yelled at you and took you out of your daydream, it had been a week since you had come back and had your run in with Bucky who you have avoided since. This past few days you’ve been flooded with memories of your time with Bucky and you simply can’t pretend nothing happened.

“Sorry Nat, I don’t know where my mind is right now” you shrugged and went back to what you were doing, which was having breakfast with Nat in the isle of the kitchen. “Yes you do, you know you can’t lie to me” Natasha answered matter-of-factly, and of course you did. You just didn’t want to admit how you were feeling about your friend and how you wanted to be more than that despite it all.

You and Nat greeted Wanda, Sam and Steve and began chatting about training new recruits and some new plans Professor X made for them. You were telling your colleagues how you worked on your kinetic memory when you were in the mission and you could learn any ability just by trying it once when you saw him walk into the living area. Bucky had bags under his eyes and a few slight hickeys on his neck, he greeted everyone and asked you how you were since he hadn’t seen you in a few days. You forced a smile and simply said “everything’s good” to which he replied “good” and just left.

Your heart sank a little, he was never like this before. He could always tell if you weren’t ok even if you said you were. There was a time were he was the only person you truly trusted in the avengers, the one who was there even if he couldn’t. You were responsible for this, he just wanted to have fun and you caught feelings for him. You ruined a friendship because you couldn’t keep it in your pants.

“Honey, don’t do that to yourself. This is not your fault” Wanda got used to reading your mind when you were too consumed in your thoughts, it helps you get out of the rabbit hole you can sometimes get in. People usually see photographic memory as a good thing (which it is) but sometimes you don’t want to remember everything, it makes you relive your bad experiences so vividly that you feel things as if you were back in them.

“Wait, she’s blaming herself for the fact that he’s whoring around like his life depended on it? I swear baby that the way he decides to get back at you for supposedly leaving him is his sorry ass’ fault” Natasha exclaimed and wrapped her arm around you.

“You all know it is, specially you two” you pointed at Steve and Sam, “he probably has told you how much he hates me for ignoring our friendship”

“Woah woah woah, listen I don’t agree with how Tin-man is behaving either but he doesn’t hate you at all. He’s hurt and he probably doesn’t know how to handle how he’s feeling” Sam told you with a sympathetic look.

Steve spoke this time, “listen kiddo, I’m not trying to defend him ‘cuz you know I don’t think this is right. But Buck was at his best when he spent time with you, you really helped him to express himself better and he felt he lost that. I hate seeing you both hurting like this, but please don’t give up him just yet he really cares about you” he sounded sincere, and you know how he looks and sounds when he lies but something in you doesn’t believe him.

“It’s hard to believe that when he has already given up on me” you said feeling how tears were creeping up your eyes threatening to come out.

“Honey, he hasn’t given up on you. I’m sure of that” Sam told you and the others agreed with him.

“Even if that’s true Sam, he will never see me as I see him. I ruined it all by falling in love with him, knowing he didn’t want that to happen.” You couldn’t control the tears anymore, the two men now understood why you were hurting so much, it’s not that you just wanted to be his fuck buddy or that you felt you ruined your friendship by leaving. According to you, you had ruined your friendship even before leaving when you fell in love with Bucky.

“I have to go” Steve stood up quickly and left.

“Trust me Babygirl, things will work out. I’m glad you’re back” Sam hugged you and walked to the direction his blonde friend hurried to.

Wanda and Natasha took you to your room where you three spent the day together. You were all on your pijamas, eating junk food and cuddling in your bed, they both knew you needed it. Not just because of Bucky, the mission was also emotionally tiring but the fact that all this happened right after didn’t make it any better.

……….

“Bucky, we need to talk to you” Steve said entering his friends room with Sam.

“You royally fucked up, man” Sam said instantly leaving Bucky confused with what was going on.

“If you’re going to lecture me about not going on the run with you this morning I don’t want to hear it, I was busy” Bucky responded annoyed.

“Listen buck, you got it all wrong about her. You need to make things right” Steve told him strongly.

“What do you mean, she’s the one who left like I wasn’t shit to her” Bucky spat.

“Do you know why she left, Dipshit?” Sam said losing his patience “she’s in love with you, she was back then too”

Steve sighed “she left because you said you didn’t want to fall in love, so this way she would do what you wanted and could try to get over you. Which didn’t work by the way”.

“You’re both lying, don’t want to hear this”.

“I know you feel the same Buck, I know you did back then too. Please stop being so stubborn”

Speaking of the team, there are two allegiances: those who want to lock you two in a room and have Wanda read each other’s mind, and those who believe you should be able to do things in your own time. Steve and Nat spend a lot of time trying to convince you to talk to him, the thing they have now realized is Bucky has to be the one to talk to you since he knows how you feel and you don’t know how he feels. This is extra complicated since the brunette hasn’t told anyone (not even his best friend) how he feels truly.

The reality is Bucky fears that he will lose you and not knowing how to keep you he just pushes you away. All the sleeping around and avoiding was his way of leaving on a 6-month mission to forget you, he had felt the same thing you did before you left but as he was conditioned to not have feelings pretending sadly wasn’t hard. Now that he knows your feelings he is even more freaked out than if his love wasn’t reciprocated, Bucky is afraid to hurt you and to be an unnecessary weight on your shoulders. It kills him to know you’ve been miserable this week because he just doesn’t know how to make things right. It takes Sargeant James Buchanan Barnes 9 days to gather the courage to call his two best friends and ask for help.

“I don’t know what to do to make things right, she hates me” Bucky’s lost eyes meet Sam’s.

“Buck, she loves you and love is stronger than many things” Sam responds seriously “hell, look at all Steve has done for you. I can assure you love is stronger than the hurt you’re both feeling and love will be the remedy for it as well”

“Listen pal, you’re very strong and she is too. You’ve both defeated the unthinkable alone and even more when you’re together. She loves you and you love her, it doesn’t get better than that. You don’t need to turn the world upside down for her, all you need is to ask her to listen and be truthful.” Steve put his hand on Bucky’s back.

“Are you sure?” He says, “completely certain, pour your heart out and trust she’ll do the same” Steve and Sam pull his friend into a hug and they walk with him to your room.

“Miss, Sargeant Barnes is outside, he has instructed me to only let him in if you approve of him coming in” F.R.I.D.A.Y. Tells you, those words send you into an instant panic.

Are you ready to talk to him? A million thoughts rush through your head, what if he knows how you feel and doesn’t feel the same?, what if he’s here to ask you why you left?, what if he just wants to tell you he never wants to speak to you again? A voice inside you says that if any of those are true it’s better to know now.

“Let him in please” you instruct the A.I. with shaky hands and a knot in your stomach.

You saw him enter through the door and he looks as destroyed as you do, there are bags under his eyes and his expression is that of a lost puppy looking for the way back home. As you looked at him you could tell he was examining your appearance, your puffy eyes and bags under your eyes similar to his. You patted your bed for him to sit even if it is on opposite sides. Your heart was beating very fast and you couldn’t bring yourself to speak or look at him in the eyes, the ideal scenario would be for an Inter dimensional portal to open and suck you away.

“Hi doll” you waved back softly “listen I know things haven’t been great between us and I came here so we talk about it”.

“I actually don’t know that you’re talking about” you lied to avoid the embarrassing of realizing that he didn’t like you.

“Doll, Steve and Sam told me why you left.” You hid your face in between your hands “they said you left because you’re in love with me and you knew one of my rules of us fooling around was not catching feelings, do you know why I did that?” He asked.

You stared laughing, was he trying to make fun of you? “I don’t know, because the only reason you care about me is my body? Because I’m an idiot that fell in love with someone that saw her as one of his fucks?” Your eyes were welling up.

“No baby, not at all.” He responded “I made that up because I didn’t want to get caught up in you and have you not feel the same I did, when you left for the mission that was confirmation to me that you could never love me like I you wanted to.”

He stood up and walked towards you “when they told me you felt the same I felt like an idiot, I made you leave because I didn’t want to face my emotions. It took me a week to finally gain the courage to come here and admit I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have avoided everything nor push you away” you could see a tear fall from his left eye.

“Listen Bucky”, you took his hand “I’m sorry too, I ran away like a coward when I shouldn’t have. It’s not all your fault.”

“It’s okay, but would you give me a chance? I want nothing more than to make you feel safe and happy.” He asked with hope glowing in his eyes.

You smiled, “only if we stop running away from each other, I promise to not leave for a 6 month mission without telling you if you promise to not hide how you feel. Our trust in each other is still something we have to work on but I’m willing to work for it. Is that a deal?” He nodded “Well kiss me like you mean that James.”

Like two kids having their first kiss you leaned in but hit your teeth instead of your lips. Laughing you took his face in your hands and kissed him, although you’ve kissed many times before this one felt like you were surrounded by fireworks.

“I love you so much”, Bucky said when you were both gasping for air. “I love you too Bucky, wow it feels so good to say that” you respond.

You go to give him a peck when you hear a loud thud in your bedroom door, both of you take notice of it and decide to make your way to the door where you know your friends are snooping on you. You opened the door to see 4 of your friends shamelessly trying to listen to you.

Steve noticed your hands laced together and smiled “you guys are okay?”

“Oh yeah, you see Vision! Bucknasty locked it down, I knew it bitches” Sam celebrated.

Wanda and Nat took you from Bucky and hugged you tightly “you see babe, things would work out” Nat kissed your forehead and the three of you smiled together.

“Hey hey hey, don’t steal my girl away from me. We just made up” Bucky complained making everyone laugh around him.

“There’s plenty of me for everyone guys, why don’t we all enjoy ourselves to a movie!”You tell them.