I felt really bad today. I still feel really bad. I relapsed, or I feel like I relapsed at least. I didn't cut this time. How do I put this -- I put my fingers in me for the sole purpose of harming myself and to make myself uncomfortable because I deserved it. I.did it twice and the second time I made myself bleed from it. And I know I deserved it. Not just for skipping my school work but just everything. I'm just. I guess it's not as good of a night as I thought it was. I wish I didn't have some many fucking problems. I'm beyond disgusting.