“Dazai....if u must date me” chuuya whispers thru the night, clutching his hand beneath the grimy yellow of the porch light, “u must know”

“Lol about what”

chuuya takes his bandaged hand and goes

“about the other mes”

dazai pauses.

“what”

“ok so u have me who is a tsundere and a cross dresser and obviously 100% completely obsessed w/ u so the soukoku tag states,” chuuya begins, “then u got...my evil twin. and then once i got a haircut and a small child grew from my hair noodle”

dazai is kinda scared. “okay what”

“hair noodle. spaghetti child”

“no i mean...what”

“here. it is easier if i can explain” chuuya leads him thru a random forest, even though the previous setting did not state they were in a forest. “look im being purposely cryptic here humor me for about 3 more paragraphs”

dazai gives a sigh but obeys. he will do anythign for chuuya. since he obviously loves him. a whole bunch.

obviously. i mean. folding clothes is true love, right?

true love.

it was endless.

like the void.

finally chuuya took them to a really moonshiney clearing in the middle of the gotdamn forest. chuuya says,

“here they be at”

he does the hunger games whistle. instantly, a man who looks like chuuya pops out of the shrubbery.

he has the same height, build, and facial structure as chuuya, but the similarities dont stop there. the same hair style, same outfit, albeit with his hat replaced by a cowboy hat. he is colored a bit differently too. its almost like the artist wanted to make him look a bit different from the original chuuya for the audience’s convenience.

“i am chuoya,” he says cryptically, “im his evil twin”

“oh really what makes you evil”

chuoya sends them a glare. “i put the milk in the bowl before the cereal”

dazai feels terror shoot thru every point of being. “dear god”

“u see....this is who i am....he is a part of me....” chuuya hangs onto dazai’s arm. “but u havent even met the other one yet”

a rustle comes. another body rolls out. its small. a bit smaller than chuuya. same build and facial structure, but his hair is different. it lacks chuuya’s hair noodle. he wears a green tracksuit.

“hi im cyuya lol”

“oh my god chuuya i cant deal with this” dazai backs away

“well if u really love me shithead u will”

“im cyuya and my personality is nothing like i actually look in the official art and im just here for shits and giggles” cyuya says

“shut up cyuya nobody cares” chuoya snaps

“fuk u”

“sometimes they can fuse and be chyouya” chuuya says.

dazai kinda wants 2 die.

but whats new.

“chuuya whats the whole point of this”

“will u still love me despite these two”

“ya of course ive always secretly loved u”

chuoya adjusts his cowboy hat. “well howdy hes got my blessing”

“shut up chuoya i dont need ur blessing”

“lmao blessing??? 😂 i don’t NEED a blessing 😤 all i do 🙏 is grind 🏃” cyuya somehow manages to say emojis outloud