#chunka monk

Fatty Addie Bumpdate🤗😂

Y’all my baby has hair 😍 I kept meaning to ask and finally remembered to get an ultrasound view of it!! She’s changed so much between every visit, it always shocks me. But tbh I can’t get over that she looks so ugly all squished in there 😂 the poor girl is so fat and so cramped her whole face is just one giant flattened pancake 😂😂 I thought early on she was going to look like daddy and after comparing their squished noses I swear the only thing she’s going to have gotten from me is my big ole cheeks 🐹😂 she slowed down a little bit in her weight gain, last month she was 3.9lbs and this month she’s 4.15lbs😬 my due date is supposed to be 9/5 but I think she’s going to be too fat to go full term and I’m hoping to be induced before she hits 10lbs. My doctor said there is a chance she may induce me at 37w due to some liver bloodwork we have been tracking. That would mean we could have her in the next 5 weeks😍😍

My water broke at 345am on the day I was supposed to go into the hospital to be induced 😂. I labored until about 7pm, at that point it was decided I needed a csection. I had made it to 7cm dilated but after 5 hours at 7 I had yet to progress any further and we we’re starting to worry. It was traumatic and horrifying and everytime I think of it I get sick. I had a panick attack through the entire procedure. I was crying and shaking and throwing up and had zero control of myself. I just remember the sensation of them cutting through layer after layer and Chris whispering in my ear that he loved me and she would be here soon. I held on until they brought her around the table to see me, I touched her cheek and immediately passed out. The next thing I knew I was waking up in post op shaking like I was having seizures and had no idea what was happening. During the hour that followed chris let me know what I’d missed, which included that our sweet girl was pulled out and wasn’t breathing. After rubbing her down and messing with her a bit she finally took her first breath and let out a cry. That was such a scary realization, we both heard that first cry and thought how beautiful but little it sounded, and knowing seconds before that something had been wrong was so hard to hear. Once my shaking had stopped I was told I could leave post op and go pick up my daughter from the nursery. Holding her for the first time was so amazing. She was nothing like I had expected. But she’s beautiful you guys, nothing like I could have ever imagined lol. And she’s An absolute dream baby. She’s soooo much more than I expected. And the love I have for her and her father has been hitting me like a fucking train lately. I’m struggling with all the leftover mommy hormones so bad. Every night I cry my heart out because I cannot believe they are mine and I’m absolutely terrified to lose them or fail them. I will literally run my hand through her soft baby hair and burst into tears because I love it so much, or I’ll look at my phones lock screen and burst into tears because the picture of her holding her head up to look at him and him smiling so big at her. Basically I was just so unprepared to love so much 😂

Addie tried to make a break for it tonight 🤦🏽‍♀️😂