#chumetti

“Chris? Chriiiiis, areyou awake?”

He was awoken by a whinein his ear and the familiar weight of his lover on top of him.

“Am now.” He struggledto see in the darkness of their bedroom. Phichit sat on top of him,knees on either side, looking down. He’d already undressed, that muchChris could see, apparently ready to join him in bed. “What’swrong? Did you just get home?” Chris turned his head and squintedat the glowing numbers on the alarm clock. 2 a.m.

“Nothing wrong exactly.But you know, about me testing Viktor’s improved acuity potion?”

His voice was a littlehigh pitched and Chris was wide awake at once.

“What went wrong?”

“Nothing, but one of theapparent side effects is that I’m really, really horny now,”Phichit muttered.

Chris laughed in relief.

“Want any help withthat?” he asked, running his hands along Phichit’s naked sides,feeling him lean into the touch.

“Yes, please.”

Chris lifted Phichit asidegently, just to get rid of the blanket covering him, then pulledPhichit down on him again and spread his legs, wrapping them aroundPhichit’s waist.

“Do your worst. Or best.Maybe this potion testing isn’t so bad after all.”

“Is everything okay?”Phichit’s voice rang through the apartment, just as Chris rinsed hismouth.

“I’m fine. Eatensomething off, probably.” He washed his face, then turned toPhichit, who was standing in the door. “Feeling better already.”

“You sure?” Phichitlooked disproportionately worried, but then Chris realized that inthe two years they’d been together, he’d never actually been sick. Hewondered what it could have been, but couldn’t think of anything he’deaten that might easily cause food poisoning. Maybe a bout of stomachflu, then. He’d never been prone to it, but these things happened.

“I’m sure.” He smiledat Phichit, who still didn’t look entirely convinced.

“Alright, but go see ahealer if it happens again, okay?”

Chris nodded, sure that iswas nothing.

“Something’s wrong withyou.”

“My, Petit, you’recharming.” Chris gave him a wan smile, but it was true, somethingwas wrong, he’d been feeling nauseous and tired for days now, andmost of the time couldn’t even stand the smell of food.

“Tell me your symptoms.”Phichit had whipped out his new phone, and Chris rolled his eyes.

“You’re not going togoogle my symptoms, you might as well call the undertaker already.”

“Throwing up, tired, noappetite.” Phichit was not that easily deterred.

Chris lay down on thecouch, closing his eyes.

“I’m just a little underthe weather.”

“Hmmm…” It was allPhichit said for a moment, and Chris opened his eyes again, lookingat him. He was frowning at his phone.

“So? Which fatal diseaseam I suffering from?”

“Yeah, alright, this wasstupid. The most likely cause for your symp…” He stopped abruptlyand to Chris’ surprise the phone fell right from his hand, clatteringonto the floor. “Oh damn.”

Phichit picked it up againhastily.

“Petit?”

“You stay right whereyou are, I’ll have to check something. Don’t move. Don’t do anything.I’ll be back in a moment.”

Well, this wasdisconcerting.

“Pregnant? Oooh, this isa bad joke, a very bad joke.”

But no one laughed. Chrisglared at Viktor, who looked infuriatingly calm, then at Yuuri, whowas rather flushed, and at last Phichit, pale and shaken, like him.

“We’ll have to run somemore test, but it seems, well… We knew this was a possibility infemale test subjects or the female partners of test subjects, but wedidn’t think – since Phichit did not have a girlfriend, after all,that this would matter in his case. Some of the more exoticingredients…”

At the look on Chris’face, Viktor added hastily: “Now, just stay calm, I’m sure we canreverse this, if we find a suitable…”

Chris’ hand was on hiswand, and he couldn’t stop himself from screaming, even if he’dwanted to.

“I’ll kill you, Viktor,I swear…”

“Chris? Chris! Wake up!”

He sat up gasping, staringwildly around himself in the dark, utterly disoriented. The lightswere turned on suddenly, and he realized he was in bed with Phichit,who was looking at him wide-eyed.

“Hey. Bad dream? Youwere thrashing something awful, yelling about – killing Viktor?What was that about?”

Chris ran his hands overhis face, trying to calm down.

“You got me pregnant.”

Phichit stared at him fora moment, mouth open, then he started laughing.

“It wasn’t funny whileit was happening,” Chris muttered, but as the reality of thesituation finally sank in, he had to smile a little too. “Damn,what a weird and vivid dream.”

“So, if I got youpregnant, why did you want to kill Viktor?” Phichit leant againsthim and Chris was happy to feel the warm weight in his arms, reliefflooding through him like a drug.

“You were testing magicpotions for Viktor and then I was pregnant.”

“Poor thing.” Phichitstroked his hair and pulled him into a hug Chris returned happily.Then he asked: “Magic potions, huh?”

Chris laughed.

“Yeah.”

“You know what thatmeans. No more reading Harry Potter before bed,” Phichit teased andChris looked almost guiltily over at the heavy tome on his bedsidetable.

“Maybe,” he muttered,feeling himself relax completely in Phichit’s arms now. Until herealized what those arms were doing, even if the movements were subtle.

“Petit, are youtexting?” he asked slowly, already knowing the answer.

“No?”

“Are you sharing myweird dream on social media?”

There was a moment’ssilence.

“No?”

Chris groaned.

“This is revenge for thevideo of you walking into that glass door, is it?”

“It went viral, Chris!”

“I know, I’m sorry.” They had had this conversation before.

“I thought it was anautomated door! I had too much momentum to stop!”

“I know.”

“It hurt.”

“Alright, I deservethis. Share my stupid dream with the world.”

“Already done.”Phichit threw the phone onto the bed and kissed Chris gently. “Bythe way, are we ever going to have sex again or are you scarred forlife after your pregnancy scare?”

Chris smirked.

“I may be persuaded intime.

Phichit grinned, thenpulled him down onto the bed and cuddled against him, yawning.

“Let’s go back to sleep,then. No more bad dreams, I’ll keep you safe.”

Chris pressed his lipsagainst Phichit’s forehead and closed his eyes.

“Promise?”