#chumeda

" What I did — " He had opened his mouth without thinking, had been close to burdening his child with the same tired excuses and lies he had brought forth during his reign of terror, to all but confirm he was but a shadow of his former self, embodying the darkness he knew must have haunted her in her nightmares and how LOW he had truly sunken for that to be the reality of his connection to his daughter. And yet she humbled him in a way few could and so he paused, the pain he had caused her more evident than ever. He had set her upon this course while desperately trying to keep her out of it all. He had been a fool to think he could keep her entirely away from politics and had only made it worse trying to build her a path she could never take. And so he instead let out a long and weary sigh. He had no good response to her accusation because they were true, as much as he wanted to deny it. He had FORCED her into this life.

" It was not what I wanted for you. " And that much was the truth, though it was up in the air how much she would believe him. He tried to open himself up to her, to let her feel his love for her through the Force and yet — what good was the word of a liar? He had tricked her before, had hidden parts of himself from her, to hide the ROT inside of him ... He might never be able to rid himself of it fully, might never be able to speak of it even to her. What he had done, it had been in the name of sparing her the pain he had suffered in his youth. War, death ... it had ruined him until nothing had been left of the young boy who had loved the world around him. He would never be able to forgive himself should she suffer the SAME fate.