#chuck b

CHUCK BASS — A navy double-breasted suit with a dusty rose turtleneck underneath and white sneakers. Chuck, I expect a certain level of calculated elegance from you, and you have delivered — mostly. The color combination is actually quite clever, the mauve sweater warming up what could have been a very stern look. But spring event, darling. The whole ensemble reads more "board meeting in February" than "Fools Rush In." The white sneakers are the only concession to levity and they're doing all the heavy lifting. You're too handsome to be this boring. Rating: 6/10 @chuckbbass

ROXANNE LONG — A sage green structured cap-sleeve pencil dress with nude heels. Roxanne walked in looking like she was hand-delivered by spring itself. The color is exactly right — that soft, cool sage is giving garden party, fresh starts, and old money without trying too hard. The architectural seaming on the bodice elevates it from pretty to polished, and the nude heels elongate everything beautifully. She understood the assignment, studied for it, and got extra credit. Rating: 9/10 ✨ @roxannelong

CLEO ANDERSON — A bold violet cut-out halter gown with a brooch detail at the hip, silver jewelry, and an upswept style. Cleo arrived and the room adjusted accordingly. That jewel-toned purple is electric and the cut-out silhouette is daring in the best possible way — she isn't here to blend in and she never was. The sculptural brooch at the waist is the kind of detail that separates a look from a moment. Not traditionally spring, but she brought her own season. I respect it enormously. Rating: 9/10 ✨ @cleoanderson

ELLA HAMPTON — A pink satin A-line midi dress with embroidered floral panels, jeweled shoulder details, and black snake-buckle platform heels with a small black clutch. Oh, Ella. Ella. That dress is a fairytale in fabric form — the rosy satin catching the light, the floral embroidery whispering "I was made for this exact event," the full skirt swishing with every step. The snake-buckle platform heels are an unexpected gothic twist that somehow makes the whole thing more interesting. This is Fools Rush In perfection with just enough edge to keep it from being too precious. Rating: 9.5/10 ✨ @ellaxhampton

BELLE MONTROSE — A sheer floral chiffon dress with lace detail at the neckline, tassel ties, and lace cuffs in warm blush and botanical tones. Belle floated in like something out of a Pre-Raphaelite painting and I mean that as the highest compliment. The layered florals, the delicate lace, the ethereal sheerness — she is the living embodiment of this event's name. She didn't rush in; she drifted in, trailing petals behind her. If spring were a person, it would send her a thank-you note. Rating: 10/10 ✨ @bellexmontrose

ROBIN BUCKLEY — A white floral appliqué mini dress covered in dimensional fabric flowers, white kitten heels, and a draped ivory wrap. Robin arrived in a dress that is a garden, and I mean that literally — those three-dimensional floral appliqués are the kind of detail you have to see up close to fully appreciate. The all-white palette is fresh and intentional, the kitten heels keep it from being too precious, and the draped wrap adds a softness that ties the whole thing together. She came to Fools Rush In and brought the flowers herself. Rating: 9.5/10 ✨ @rockinxrobin

MAX WOLFE — A dark floral printed suit — deep navy ground with painterly roses and blooms — black shirt underneath, black boots. Max decided that spring florals don't have to mean pastels, and you know what? He's not wrong. The dark romantic print is moody and deliberate, the slim suit cut is sharp, and the all-black base keeps it from tipping into costume territory. It's florals for people who find florals exhausting, and I find that deeply compelling. Rating: 8.5/10 ✨ @maximusxwolfe

JASPER NOVAK — A sand/champagne suit with shawl lapels and white contrast piping, white tank underneath, white slip-on sneakers. Jasper looks like he was styled by the concept of a warm afternoon and I am completely won over. The relaxed shawl lapel, the effortless open chest, the barely-there color that works with everything around it — this is quiet confidence in suit form. The white sneakers keep it youthful without being careless. He walked into a flower garden and became the garden. Rating: 8.5/10 ✨ @jasperxnovakx

ELIJAH HAMILTON — A blue printed short-sleeve shirt with a swirling artistic print, black trousers, and a silver chain. Elijah understood the assignment in a very specific way — that shirt is a statement, the print bold and almost artistic, and paired against clean black trousers it reads as genuinely considered rather than chaotic. It's the right amount of effort for someone who wants to seem like they're not trying. The chain is a nice touch. More spring in spirit than in palette, but the energy is right. Rating: 7.5/10 ✨ @elijahxhamilton

CRESSIDA WYNTER — A dark floral printed corset crop top and tiered midi skirt set, combat boots, pink-tipped hair, and a powder blue mini Lady bag. Cressida is doing something interesting here. The dark botanical print is rich and detailed, the combat boots are a deliberate choice that says "I know exactly what I'm doing," and that powder blue micro bag is the most charming accessory in the room. She took a spring brief and made it gothic-garden, which is frankly its own aesthetic category and one I support. Rating: 8/10 ✨ @cressidawynter

SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN — A beaded aqua mini dress with red coral embroidery and silver trim detailing. Serena. Of course. She arrives looking like she was pulled from the seafloor by a couture designer and handed directly to this event. The aqua beading catches the light with every movement, the coral embroidery is unexpected and whimsical in the most expensive way imaginable, and the whole thing feels effortless in that infuriating way only Serena can manage. She didn't get the spring memo. She wrote it. Rating: 9.5/10 ✨ @serenavxoxo

HANNA MARIN — A white floral mini dress with a plunging neckline, gold bangles, a wicker bag, platform wedge sandals, and oversized sunnies on top of her head. Hanna walked in and brought the entire mood of a sun-drenched afternoon with her. The white floral print is textbook Fools Rush In, the wicker bag is perfect, and the platform wedges are doing exactly what they should. The plunging neckline keeps it from being too sweet and the gold stacking bracelets add just the right amount of flash. She came dressed like the event description come to life. Rating: 9/10 ✨ @hannaomarin

WAVERLY BRODER — A deep pink ruched halter gown with a plunging neckline, gathered skirt with a train, and barely-there nude sandals. Waverly glided in and the room went quiet for a moment. That draped pink silk is fluid perfection, the ruching at the waist is doing beautiful structural work, and the nude sandals are smart — anything else would have fought the dress and lost. She's giving spring gala, romantic lead energy, and "I will be photographed from every angle tonight." Rating: 9/10 ✨ @xoxowaverlyb

BLAIR WALDORF — A structured pink satin strapless mini dress with a front bow detail, matching long satin gloves, black sheer tights, a messy updo, and red lips. Blair. Blair. Only she would show up to a spring event looking like a Valentino sketch come to life and somehow make it the most appropriate thing in the room. The gloves are theatrical, the bow is precise, the red lip against the pink satin is the kind of color clash that only works when you have the bone structure to back it up. The black tights are the single unexpected element that makes the whole look fashion instead of costume. She didn't come to Fools Rush In. She came to rule it. Rating: 10/10 ✨ @xoxoblairwb

KATHERINE PIERCE — A mustard yellow one-shoulder draped chiffon gown with a cascading panel train and diamond drop earrings. Katherine has the audacity to walk into a spring event dressed like liquid gold and make it feel completely inevitable. That mustard chiffon is pooling around her like sunlight given form, the one-shoulder construction is effortlessly glamorous, and the diamonds are doing exactly the right amount. She didn't come dressed for spring — she came dressed for herself, which is frankly more impressive. The color is warm and rich in a way that feels intentional rather than seasonal, and that trailing panel gives every step a cinematic quality. She isn't rushing in anywhere. She arrives, and the room rearranges itself accordingly. Rating: 9/10 ✨ @xoxokatherinep

BRITTANY ANDRAS — A strapless black bandage mermaid gown with tiered sheer panels at the skirt, an iridescent crystal bow embellishment at the bust, chandelier crystal earrings, and a pearl clutch. Brittany is a woman who knows exactly what she came to do. The all-black at a spring event is a bold declaration — she isn't here to play the floral game, she's here to win a different one entirely. The iridescent bow saves it from being stark, catching the light like she brought her own season with her. The mermaid silhouette is impeccable, the sheer tiered hem is dramatic without being excessive, and the pearl clutch is the most perfectly understated accessory choice in the room. She dressed for herself and somehow dressed for the occasion at the same time. Rating: 9/10 ✨ @xoxobrittanya

EMIR ATLAN — A dark burgundy pinstripe suit with red accent stripes, white tank underneath, chunky gold chain, burgundy woven loafers, and dark sunglasses. Emir walked in from what appears to be a Monaco terrace and brought that energy directly into this room. The pinstripe suit is deeply, unapologetically itself — rich, old-school glamorous, and completely unbothered by the concept of spring. The white tank and gold chain say "I dress for myself," the loafers say "I have excellent taste," and the sunglasses say "I see you and I'm unimpressed." Spring-adjacent at best, magnificent at worst. Rating: 8/10 ✨ @xoxoemiratlan

MARY BOWDER — A black sequined romper with bold floral appliqué, long sleeves, and a plunging neckline, finished with classic black pumps. Mary said florals and took it personally. This is less garden party and more after-dark headline moment, and while she looks incredible, it’s fighting the brief every step of the way. The sparkle, the structure, the drama — none of it is breezy, but all of it is very her. She didn’t come to blend in with the flowers, she came to outshine them. Rating: 7.2/10 ✨ @marryy-bowderxoxo

FREYA ARCHERON — A soft blue cheongsam-inspired dress with sheer overlay and intricate floral embroidery, paired with a neutral clutch and pointed heels. Freya looks like she wandered out of a porcelain painting and decided to stay for cocktails. The detailing is stunning, no question, but it leans more polished evening than “light and breezy afternoon.” There’s an elegance here that feels intentional rather than effortless, like she planned every stitch to be admired. Still, she wears it with enough ease to almost convince me it just happened. Almost. Rating: 7.8/10 ✨ @xxfeyredarlingxx

The verdict is in, Upper East Siders. Belle Montrose and Blair Waldorf are tied for the evening's crown, Chuck Bass has been issued a formal citation for crimes against seasonal dressing, and the rest of you? Well. I'll be watching.