#chronicallyinvisible

For the reader who wanted to hear stories about doctors dismissing symptoms and being insensitive. I have kind of a long story and I call it ‘They day I was almost admitted to psych for back pain”

I hyperextended the joints between my ribs, spine, and sternum a few years ago while swimming. My ribs/ cartilage on my right side were visibly swollen and protruding around my sternum. It was excruciatingly painful and my normal doctor (who has seen me before in this condition) wasn’t available, so I saw this other lady, Dr. I, who gave me a medicine so wrong for my medical history (muscle relaxers) that even my pharmacist was pissed off at her. The meds didn’t work. 

At this point it’s been a week of 8-9/10 pain from my back and I’ve almost hit status migrainosa (36hours of unrelenting migraine). The only thing that will make me better is sleep and my spine specialist but I couldn’t see him until after final exams. I went back to campus health to get some short term pain relief, just to get through finals, until I could see my specialist, but ended up with the same lady. After explaining how the first meds didn’t work, she told me “It’s probably just stress. I can give you a DIFFERENT muscle relaxer” I started crying and a panic attack was rapidly approaching at the thought of not getting any relief. She saw me getting upset and then said ‘Well now I can’t give you anything at all since you’re having a psychiatric crisis.”

I know my diagnoses, medications, and conditions and this doctor who I’d seen TWICE EVER was telling me that all that experience was ‘stress.’ She even told me the skull fracture+concussion I had was ‘Probably an exaggeration’ (you can feel where my orbital remodeled quite clearly). She gave me the ultimatum of going to the ER for a psych evaluation or coming in the next day for a campus health eval. I chose the ER because it was the only chance I had to get any treatment at that point. It’s also next door to the health center.

The triage nurse asked me what I was there for and I told her, ‘campus health sent me over for a psychiatric evaluation of my back pain’ with a smile because at that point, I was 3000000% done. She laughed and started taking care of me. Oddly enough prioritizing my pain over the ‘psych crisis’ I was sent over for. I was evaluated by an ortho guy and a psychologist, both of whom had to speak with Dr. I who had called to see if I had been admitted to psych. That’s right, ADMITTED. All around consensus from the ER staff was ‘clearly not stress and definitely an injury.’ So the ER did something right for once. Granted this is the same ER that sent me home without proper medication in asthmatic crisis twice, but I guess 1/3 isn’t AWFUL. The only good thing about that experience was the validation from like 5 different mental health professionals that getting upset and frustrated, crying a lot, or even crying uncontrollably when in pain is a completely appropriate psychological response. Who knew.

So that’s how back pain almost landed me in psych, if that first doctor had had her way, I might have gotten removed from uni (I had a B average throughout the finals BTW). When I told my specialist and physical therapist about the ordeal later I have never seen medical professionals so irate at a field member in my life. My PT basically shouted “I CAN SEE YOUR RIBS. HOW COULD THAT POSSIBLY BE PSYCHOLOGICAL?” Thus ends the worst experience I’ve had with a doctor telling me ‘it’s all in your head.’ I like to share this particular story with doctors and nurses that I see socially, not as their patient, because I think sometimes professionals forget how much power they have over a patient. That woman could have DESTROYED me and if I hadn’t had the years of experience as a patient, the physical ability, and the confidence in my understanding of my diagnoses to challenge her assessment at the ER. This situation could have ended very very differently. So if you’re a patient, try your best to keep your own records of your diagnoses: who made it, their specialty, date of diagnosis, and what criteria were used (lab test, MRI, physical evaluation). It literally takes 2mins to copy down while you’re at your appointment and it can make a huge difference when you’re in a position that a doctor doubts you. They may offhandedly disagree with a patient, but if you have information about your diagnosis from another doctor, they now have to disagree with a professional equal and that’s a whole different game even though it shouldn’t be. I started taking notes after my second concussion when I realized I couldn’t remember what was discussed at my neuro visits at ALL after I got home. There’s something about breaking out a notebook in an appointment that changes the atmosphere, even if it’s just because your memory is patchy like mine and you want to get down all the important bits. 

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aquaholical - Here you go