#chrisxderek

Rating: M for cursing and mature/sexual themes.

Summary: Chris finds himself cleaning Derek up for the second time in what must be just a few days. And he finds himself beginning to not mind at all. (SPOILERS for Teen Wolf up to and including S03E22 De-Void.)

They are moving down the hallway at an agonizingly slow pace. It leaves Chris with plenty of time to think. Like how he is doing this again. Why he is doing this again. His mind is filled with about a hundred questions and absolutely no answers. The closest he gets to an answer is the nagging feeling that he cares. He cares about Derek Hale…

It's a late night, although earlier than most when they do this because Allison has actually found out her father is in love with Derek Hale, the only person since her mother. So, he's been staying in the house, under Allison's watchful - scary, Derek insists - eye. But she's out with Scott tonight.

Chris is still over him, holding one of his hands to the bed while they heave in air, fingers intertwined and neither of them really knowing when they did that. He dips down, presses his lips to Derek's because he can, feeling it reciprocated instantly.

When he pulls away, the younger man's cheeks are flushed, something only Chris gets to see, the vulnerability there. His heart swells, beats hard and fast in his chest and he can see Derek notices it by the way his eyebrows knit together, since it was just starting to calm down. He says it before he can help himself, "I love you."

And Derek freezes.

Which makes Chris tense. They've come close to saying it before, but this is the first time it's actually happened, the words have been formed and voiced. Derek's stare goes blank and his breathing hitches and the older man's eyes widen.

"Derek... Derek?" His voice is distressed and a bit mangled, scratchy. He rubs his thumbs against the apples of his cheeks, sweaty skin that's broken out in a cold sweat, "Please. Derek, come on. Please."

The wolf comes back to him, a sound bubbling up in his throat and hurting as it comes out, and it sounds like he's choking, or whimpering. Chris' heartbeat hammers and he pulls him into his arms, moving to the side of him so Derek is half on top of him. He holds him close, hating himself for a moment like he does every time, "I'm sorry. Derek, I'm so, so sorry."

Derek claws a bit too hard at his side, leaves angry red scratches but Chris doesn't care, just apologizes again because he knows what this kid - God, he's still a kid - has been through, and he wants to be sure to do everything right.

"Don't." Derek whispers low, dangerous. But it's pleading, a 'please don't fucking do that', which is 'please don't fucking take it back'.

"Okay, I'm--Okay. That's fine." He leans down, plants a kiss to the top of his head, "I didn't mean to... Startle you with it." And he hates himself. Really, really hates himself. He should have waited. He should have built up to it better. He should have done something different.

"No, Chris." Derek digs his nails into his lover's side and shoves his face into his neck on instinct, marking him. "Just... I-I..."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know, baby. I got it." Chris nods, running a hand up and down Derek's back. The wolf leans up and molds his mouth to the older man's, kissing him deeply, trying to tell him without the words. He wants to tell him, but the sentence won't come. Not yet.

When they part, Chris pulls the blankets over them, scoots down so Derek is nuzzled against his shoulder like every night he stays. Derek wraps around him, half-protective, and whispers the most his whole being will let him, "Me too."