Jun 22
I never realized that I never posted this little casual fits of the Christophers :)
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I never realized that I never posted this little casual fits of the Christophers :)
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having a really difficult and painful time because one of our trauma holders had/has lots of memories resurfacing plus he’s so extremely dysphoric that being confronted with how the body looks/looked like during his trauma was like the worst aspect of it? or the one he’s stuck on most at least. Like “yeah the trauma was horrible but wth is this “girl” body I’m stuck in????” totally desorienting too and i think he can’t really cope with being in a system either.
idk it’s really hard to deal because he keeps framing it as “and then suddenly I was in someone elses body and I have no idea how the perpetrators did that!!!” and I get that that’s what it was like for him, but we DO now have an explanation! It was just our normal everyday outer body and you’re a system mate and you just hadn’t fronted before and had only experienced your inner body before that point. And yes i understand how traumatic that was. but understanding these facts that you didn’t know then but can have access to now will help you deal with it.
The weekend may be over, but we’re still in brunch mode | 😋 #Christophers #AmanqiEats (at Christopher's) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqnpMdFBDqx/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=iwswwsuwpzm9
i am scared of going to bed, i am scared of having more flashbacks. this morning was bad enough, i dont want more of these :’(
- no name yet, he/him, 9yo
our chamaeleon is back, he woke up again today. that’s a good thing because he hates nothing more than being in stasis. i mean he was around sometimes, but not as himself. and today he was there as himself for the first time probably since our last psychiatry stay or so.
we really need to find a solution for him and the inner helpers. but idk how... we’ve tried and failed for years.
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I’m sorry I’m ruining our day! :C
I can’t go inside, there isn’t room, there’s no place I can go!
I’m sorry for everything.
I’m not a real person :’(
i feel bad. i had lots of flashbacks already today. feel like more might be on their way. i want to distract myself by shipping a happy couple, but main fronter who is co-con also wants to do their stuff and possibly write a story (not smutty fanfic tho lol the mainfronters don’t do that, it’s some brainy concept idea em has)
and then i think maybe distracting won’t work either way and I shouldn’t fight the flashbacks plus i deserve the pain (i deserve it. deserved it back then too)
- some christopher