CITYBOUND
🎧 Listen to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lby9rwBNWTY
I've been working on this silly little piece for a while, but.. well.. someone was missing 🏈 don't take this too serious and enjoy xx (P.S. no idea if this will be continued or not, just sharing with you on here)
Rain is lashing against the Victorian windows, right above the mustard-colored couch at the end of the generous living room. A vanilla bean candle right over the fireplace is still burning from earlier this morning. Earlier, when Taylor had to get herself to wake up before dawn. Earlier, when she needed a cozy environment to have her coffee at this ungodly hour.
She takes a sip from her lukewarm coffee mug.
Snack box, water bottle, pencil case, and the coloring book. She takes one last look inside the little turtle backpack in front of her. She didn't forget to add the little Polaroid in the tiny, purple, plushy heart frame that shows her and Eleanor all cuddled together. It's a picture, small but meaningful enough, to let Eleanor take with her whenever she separates from Taylor for a while. It's not a memory, more a reassurance for her. A reminder, that mommy loves her. That no matter what, mommy will be there, ready to pick her up at the end of the day.
Taylor makes sure that the little post on the back of the tiny frame is sticking. A little message for Eleanor's kindergarten teacher to read for her.
My sweet angel Eleanor, I hope you will have the most magical first day at your new kindergarten. I can't wait to hear about your day! I love you so much. Mommy.
Taylor makes sure to place the frame on the very top department of the small bag, then zips up the small backpack.
"Honey, we need to leave soon. Did you find your hair clip?" she just yells up the stairs, almost stumbles over Benjamin who appears to be sitting right in the doorframe between the kitchen and hallway of this big New York apartment. As always. These cats always need to be in the way, especially on stressful mornings like these. Apologetically, Taylor crouches down once, caresses the cat's head and continues walking towards her little daughter's room. Just a few minutes ago, she convinced Taylor that she will choose the hair clip she wants Taylor to put into her hair this morning. But now, instead of going through her little jewelry box (which consists of 85% cat-themed hair clips and bracelets), the five-year-old is sitting right behind the big and cozy chair at the end of her room.
Taylor knows how nervous the little girl is. And she wishes she could take this from her. She wishes she could go through this very first day at her very new kindergarten for her, but she can't.
The blonde woman takes a few steps closer to her daughter. In her burgundy boots and in her black wool dress, she crouches down slightly, just watches her little daughter focus anxiously on the doll in her hand.
Taylor just sighs. She doesn't need to say anything. She knows. She can feel the anxiety radiating from her. With her left hand, Taylor just slowly caresses the soft and chubby cheek.
"Are you nervous?" she whispers, more like a statement and less like a question. Eleanor nods. She's brave. Taylor expected tears this morning. At least. But Eleanor is brave. She has gotten dressed almost all by herself already. A big girl. She could never find words to describe how proud she is to be her mother. How proud she is to see this little girl go through life, at just five years old.
"Mommy, I don't want to go," she whispers then, and Taylor sighs again. She doesn't know what to say. Feelings from her own childhood come back up. Her biggest fear until today is Eleanor being a target in school or having to endure a similar treatment as Taylor did at a young age. But not allowing her to go out there and make these crucial experiences would be just as bad. She has to be the tough mom now. She has to make her go to this new kindergarten.
"I know, baby. I know. Come here, can I get some cuddles?" she whispers. She knows Eleanor is in need of some proximity now, but Taylor is just as much. She grabs the big baby, realizes once more how heavy she's gotten because she is, in fact, not a baby anymore. With Eleanor clinging onto Taylor like a monkey, Taylor slowly gets up, rubs her small back up and down. She naturally presses her nose into Eleanor's curly hair, breathes her baby in a few times.
"I don't want to go, mommy," she mumbles again. This time, Taylor can sense a whiny undertone. She knew these tears would come this morning. And that's okay. "You know what? I think once you're there, and we've met your teacher and your classmates, you will be actually happy to be there." Taylor tries, putting on her most excited and happy voice possible.
"I have already packed your bag, and your teachers actually told me that you will be painting today, so I also got you some new watercolors. Because I know how much you love painting, baby. I'm sure you will have so much fun and have so many new friends when you come home." Eleanor has slowly pulled back, her chin trembling a little bit. She's still hyperfocused on the little doll in her hand. Taylor can't help but smile at the little pout. She's literally a miniature version of herself sometimes. A crazy feeling.
"Oh my love..." she sighs, her lips already on the small forehead again. "Mommy will come with you for now. And we will meet everyone together, okay? And then it's just one hour without mommy for today. Just a few minutes. And then I will pick you up, and we will get pizza together with grandma and grandpa. We can also get some ice cream. Does that sound good?" Eleanor just shakes her head. Taylor tries to take it easy.
"Let's go with the Meredith hair clip? You love this one!" Taylor says, has already let her big baby onto the floor again and reaches for Eleanor's favorite hair clip on the carpet. It's a little cat face on a hairpin of a cat that looks just like Mer. She knows that not even the Meredith hair clip can get the little pout out of her daughter's face this morning. But that's just what motherhood is like sometimes. You just got to get on with it. You just got to be tough sometimes. Taylor reaches for the little wild curl on Eleanor's head and carefully clips in the hair clip. She looks absolutely adorable. A little red corduroy romper covering her body, and the softest purple glitter tights covering her little legs. Taylor presses one last kiss onto the little stubborn cheek.
"Come on, baby. Let's get going."
"I think it's fine for you to leave now," the small woman from the kindergarten staff next to Taylor whispers into the singer's ear. Taylor tries not to make any sound, just to ensure that Eleanor won't notice her leaving. The children are sitting in a circle, presenting their paintings of sea animals that they just worked on. Eleanor was very clingy these first few minutes, but Taylor is proud of how much she's come out of her shell already. Not only did she muster the courage to ask the little boy next to her if she could borrow some of his blue paint, but she also seems to have gotten along very well with her teacher so far, even giving her a hug after the first initial introduction. Taylor is relieved. She smiles thankfully at the lady next to her, then slowly tiptoes out of the classroom. She shouldn't have worn boots with heels. She should've known how difficult it would be to sneak out of this classroom. As soon as the woman behind her closes the door, Taylor smiles at her one last time, then steals a last look at Eleanor. She takes a deep breath. She hopes this will be a good new beginning for her. A good new beginning in this city.
Taylor now casually makes her way through the hallway, reaches for her phone in her bag. She just wants to know if any paparazzi have followed them or not. Surely, Brandon would have warned her in advance. But instead of seeing a text from her security, she finds a different text from a different person. A person whose text forces her to smile quietly.
Turns out food safety is another argument for me to just stay a DoorDash Premium member…
Taylor has to cover her mouth as she clicks on the image he just sent her. He took a selfie of himself in front of his stove. The salmon in his pan is burned. To say the least. A black coat of burned oil is covering the fish. This idiot. She can't believe it. Just when she's about to text him back, she shrugs. He's calling her. His name in big bold letters on her phone.
"Hey, chef," she teases as she picks up, can already hear his gentle laugh at the end of the phone line, his voice as dark and rusty as she remembers it. And it does something to her. Something she's oh so familiar with. She's still standing in this kindergarten hallway, just amusedly holds her phone to her ear. Looking around this building, it baffles her how tiny everything is. Tiny chairs in a tiny room. The smell of disinfectant and hot chocolate in the air. Her absolute dream.
"Hey, stranger," he answers her, a laugh also escaping his mouth. She can't tell if he's being nervous or if his little laugh is a reaction to her actually being funny. It's a dynamic with him that she's not really familiar with. He by far is the most confident man she's ever seen, yet her little remark at the beginning of the call really wasn't that comedic after all.
"How's the shrimp pasta coming along?" Taylor says, still standing awkwardly in the school hallway, her gaze now on one of the children's paintings framed on the wall. A five-year-old has painted a whole zoo. The dimensions of the giraffe in comparison to the tiger are clearly off and it makes her smirk while holding her phone to her ear.
"Well, I can confidently say that this has been by far the most disgusting meal I've ever had," he says in a serious tone that makes her giggle. He's weird. Refreshingly weird.
"You tried, okay. That counts for something."
"I guess," he says, and suddenly it gets quiet. She swallows once, can hear him open his mouth once, then stop himself from further talking.
"So..."
"So?" she repeats after him.
"How was the first day of kindergarten for your baby girl?" he asks then, and Taylor smiles. This definitely has been a weird topic between them, and she can't shake it off. It's the first time she's seeing someone, even just casually, after spending years of her life trying to get it right with Eleanor's dad. It's the first time she's navigating getting to know a stranger while keeping him at a good distance from her baby.
"It was… surprisingly good so far," Taylor says, her eyes already looking back at the classroom she just sat in for a while. It's hard to picture Eleanor turning around in the next hour, only to find that mommy has left. Taylor swallows. Hopefully, she will be too distracted to even have this thought.
"Just a few tears this morning, but she's had a blast painting with the other kids. I'm really relieved so far," she says, can already hear him smile at the end of the line.
"I'm glad. It's a big deal for her, at that age."
"Yeah, for sure," Taylor replies. She appreciates his words, yet she's very well aware that he has no idea what he's talking about.
"What's new with you? Besides the cooking," she asks then, deciding to make her way out of the building to get some fresh air. As soon as she takes a step onto the autumnal sidewalk in the heart of Gramercy, she can see her security guard signaling her to get into the big black car at the side of the street. She just shakes her head. No one is on the street. And she really wants to soak in just a few minutes of the now oh so weak sun rays of Fall in New York.
"Nothing is exciting. Just practice. Got my massage this morning. Got my car checked earlier today, too."
His mundane speech is interrupted by Taylor laughing out loud. It immediately brings a smile to his face.
"Could you be any more Midwestern?"
Travis laughs with her for a second. She does have a point.
"Hey, don't forget where you come from, missy." He jokes, as Taylor starts talking again.
"What is it like getting massages for a living?" she says, clearly amused by his daily schedule. She can't imagine getting a muscle massage every single day. But then also, she can't imagine working out for a living - every single day.
"Not as great as you think it is."
Silence comes back for a second. But this time, it's a different kind.
"Well, I'll be in New York on Saturday for a day. I'd be very happy to extend that trip for another night and demonstrate to you what type of massages actually live up to the hype…"
Taylor stands there in her wool coat, long blonde hair over her shoulders, arms crossed and her mouth slightly open. She's shocked. To say the least. But it also makes her stomach and the lower region of her abdomen tingle. Flashbacks of the past weeks in bed with him slowly come up, and she can't believe how blunt he is about it.
"Wow, a massage? That's how you're trying to get me laid?"
"Travis laughs nervously at her, and she can't say she doesn't do the same. What she would give to have that massage right here, right now. An interesting development of the past weeks. He's awakened a physical hunger in her that she hasn't known in years. Maybe it's his height and the fact that his physical appearance could knock her over in a second. Maybe it's because he triggers a fundamental, primal response in her nervous system with his huge hands, his dark voice, and his physical predominance. She needs to have him. She needs to feel his weight on her under any circumstances. She swallows.
"I'm just offering you my services, baby."
His smugness frustrates her. She smiles. Never in a lifetime did she think this would ever work on her again.
"You do realize, though, that I have a kid? I can't... I can't just be gone for the night, Travis. Last time was different because I was gone for work, but..."
"Hey, I get it. Your baby always comes first. How about you get yourself a babysitter, we spend a few hours together, and you'll be home before your daughter wakes up again."
She nods. He's not wrong. Even though she's a mother now does not mean she shouldn't go out, date. Just live a little. Taylor sighs. The fresh wind bracing her face. She closes her eyes for a second. Mascara on her eyelashes. The warmth of the sun on her face. She smiles slowly.
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Yeah, I... I'll find a way."
He smiles, laughs slowly.
"Alright then," he says in his southern accent. She rolls her eyes. What is she doing?! "I'll text you my schedule later. Can't wait."
She doesn't say anything further.
"Speak soon."
"No, he's a... horse. A f..." she keeps her lips from cursing for a second, remembers that her child is right next to her. Ashley just amusedly watches her pass the mug of hot chocolate to Eleanor. The little blonde girl struggles not to spill the drink. After all, this green mug is half the size of her head. Taylor sits down next to the little girl on the kitchen stool, both hands still securely around the beverage, helping her take a sip from the hot drink.
"I mean, he's a literal... Midwestern gorilla. It's just..."
Ashley starts laughing again, just amusedly takes another sip from her coffee. Eleanor didn't seem interested in anything her mom has said so far. Just now is when she signals Taylor she's had enough sips from her cup for now, then looks up at Taylor with a hot chocolate mustache.
"A gorilla?"
Taylor also has to laugh at Eleanor's reaction. Her left hand already playing with one of the little curly pigtails on her head.
"Yeah, a gorilla. In the zoo. Where... where you went with grandpa to in Nashville, remember?" she says, has clearly had lots of practice making sure that the five-year-old won't understand what this conversation really is about. Ashley still giggles at Taylor and her daughter. She's being unbelievable sometimes.
"He's not, Tay. Just because he's not..."
Ashley looks at Eleanor, who is freeing herself from Taylor's grip and makes her way out of the kitchen. It seems the two women have successfully bored the little girl to death. "Just because he's not B-R-I-T-I-S-H and comes with an anxiety disorder and an English degree doesn't mean he's dumb."
Taylor places her cup on the kitchen table in front of her. She sighs. Ashley is right. Everyone is right. Her behavior towards Travis is pretty unfair. All she does is go around, telling people how uninterested she is in him, simply because he doesn't measure up to her standards in men. Standards that have led her to be a single mom in her thirties. Clearly, she's in the wrong here.
"I know. I know, it's just..."
She sighs, looking back at her friend again. "He's not my type. Like... not at all."
"Oh, we've been knew," the blonde small woman says, making Taylor break a laugh too.
"But first of all, the sex..."
Taylor has lowered her voice at the end of the sentence, just to ensure her daughter won't hear any of this. "And then besides the mind-blowing sex, he also, he just... he makes some charming points." she adds, and Ashley smiles. It's been a while since she's seen Taylor like this. She acts like she's too cool for Travis, but there's something about him that still makes her giddy, overthinking every interaction, calling her up on a Thursday afternoon to come over and listen to her. It reminds her a lot of who her friend was ten years ago. Years before she met Joe, started a family with him, and found herself in the most isolating situation for a good half of these years. She loves seeing her like this again. She loves witnessing how she's testing the waters once more. Especially when her counterpart does nothing but worship the ground she walks on. It's what she deserves. It really is.
"He does. And you smile a lot lately." Ashley adds, can see Taylor blushing. She gets shy all of a sudden, then shakes her head enthusiastically.
"Well, the sex..."
"I'm not convinced it's just that."
Taylor giggles.
"Whatever. For now, there's nothing more. And that's what we agreed on. I won't bring Eleanor into a situation where..."
Taylor doesn't need to say more. If she knows one thing about Taylor, it's that she will forever be Eleanor's mom first. She's an excellent mother. Never in a million years would she do anything that could harm her child. One of the things Ashley and everyone else admires so much about her.
"Hey, listen to me." Ashley grabs her friend's hand. She's forced to look at her for a second. That look on her face will forever be something she can't ever forgive Joe for. That insecure look, that uncertainty, that self-doubt.
"You deserve this. You deserve to meet new people, have some fun, not think too much. You can... you can be a great mother while still letting go a little."
Taylor nods. She lets those words sink in for a second, just looks down at her coffee cup, then strokes a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. It's been a while since someone has said this to her. It's been a while since she had allowed herself to even think of opening up to someone again.
"I know." she says then. Her hand now over Ashley's. "Thanks. For... for everything." she says then. Ashley smiles, pulls her in for a gentle hug.
"No need to say thanks, Tay. It's the truth. Enjoy this. This is good for you. Blake literally said to me last week that she thinks this is a good idea. He's charming, he's kind... just... roll with it. And obviously, I'll be your babysitter on Saturday."
Taylor giggles for a second, then ends the hug again.
"Well, thanks so much. And it's great you are all so talkative when it comes to my sex life." she jokes.
"The things we do to get you laid." she jokes. Taylor just rolls her eyes laughing, was about to add something to what Ash just says as little steps are audible in the big kitchen. She feels a hand pulling on her skirt. Ashley immediately turns around to find the little girl standing next to her with a piece of paper. It's astonishing sometimes how much she looks like Taylor. Big blue eyes, blonde curls, and the same laugh as her mother.
"Look, I did this for you." she says proudly. Taylor laughs, and Ashley covers her mouth in shock. "You painted this for me, angel?"
Eleanor nods proudly.
"This is beautiful. Oh my gosh. Is that me?"
Taylor quietly watches the interaction between Eleanor and Ashley. The little girl in her sweater with a panda on the chest crawls up on the chair next to Ashley and starts explaining her painting in great detail. Taylor is glad that Eleanor's spirits are so high after her first day at Kindergarten. She came home completely exhausted but happy, took a long nap, and woke up wanting to continue painting. Just like she did with her teachers today. Taylor smiles at the two next to her, suddenly sees her phone screen lighting up again. The third time today.
"Oh, this is a nice room." she gushes, walking up to the big window front facing Central Park from the 49th floor. It's dark outside, has started raining a while back. Central Park looks like a big dark cloud from up here. Nothing but dark green trees, some lanterns in between lighting the urban forest up like starlights. She gasps for a second. The sight of Columbus Circle right underneath her looks phenomenal. Almost absurd. She's so high above the city that this massive street looks like a tiny Lego street. One that Eleanor plays with at home. A miniature version of the real world. A nice thought to think that this is what reality really is from up here.
"Are you being sarcastic?" she can hear the big man laugh behind her. She turns around for a second, witnesses him turning on the little side lamp by the end of the room.
"Why do you think that?" she asks, an undertone of offensiveness in her. Does he really think she's too snobbish for a five-star hotel?
Travis looks back at her, and it takes a second of his grin to make her understand. This is one of the games he loves to play with her. He loves to tease, he loves to fight her with little things like these. Because at the end of the day, Taylor is convinced that he knows. He knows that none of this matters to her. It never really did.
"I'm just messing with you." he says underneath his smiling breath then, makes her way up to where she's standing. He's so close, and Taylor can not just see that in their reflection in the window in front of her. She can feel his breath on her side. His cologne in her nose. It's quiet in the room. Quiet between them, for the first time tonight. Dinner was fun. Lots of chatting and lots of wine. She likes his presence. She can't deny that. Even though they couldn't be more different from one another in the way they chose to live their lives.
"This is so beautiful." she whispers then. Her chest is rising. She can't dare turn around, knows exactly what is going to happen in this room tonight. The anticipation of his touch lingers in the air impatiently. And then he just does it. He just allows his chest to gently touch her small frame. His mouth close to her ear over her long blonde hair. His left hand reaching for hers."
“Do you see this building back there? With the tinted windows? Like, right between the two black towers?”
Taylor nods, doesn’t listen to anything he says. All she is focused on, is his mouth by her ear, and his hand that’s slowly but surely intertwining with his. She swallows. Unspeakable thoughts in the back of her mind.
“I had my very first interview in there, with my brother. Like, actual interview with Vanity Fair. I was so proud when I walked into that building back then. You have no idea.”
She listens to every word he says, just closes her eyes gently. He buries is face in her hair, comes closer until he finds the sweet spot between her ear and neck. A gentle kiss resulting in her stomach doing flips. She parts her lips again, decides to turn around within a split second. She looks at him, deep into his eyes. He’s so big. Her arms barely reach for his neck. She always forgets just how tall and trained he is. A quality about him she’s never had with any other man before. Maybe that’s why she’s addicted to their physical chemistry? Maybe this is why she can’t not stop talking to this man. This man who is so different from anyone she’s ever been involved with before.
“Kiss me.” she whispers underneath her breath. It’s a quiet whisper. A request, a need that just splurged out of her. An instinct in her taking over. He smiles, seems to notice the same. He doesn’t hesitate for a second, slowly plants his lips on her red lips. He couldn’t care less about her lipstick. It’s quite the opposite. He wants her to leave her trace on him. He wants her to leave a stain on his beard. A reminder of the pleasure she’s given to him.
Travises hand wanders up and down her back, the ends of her hair touching his arm. She moans quielty into the kiss for a second. She tastes the same as last week. Vanilla. Everything about her smells like vanilla. A fucking drug that keeps on working on him.
She slowly pulls back, her hands still in his neck, playing slightly with his ears. She licks her lower lip once, subconsciously, and it does things to him he can’t explain.
“Can we..”
She doesn’t end her sentence. Her gaze that has fallen onto the bed behind him. He knows exactly what she’s getting at. Travis doesn’t loose proximity to her, just starts laughing.
“How about, we sit down and have a conversation instead?”
The blonde woman in his arms looks at him in disbelief for a second. He starts laughing, and so does she.
“I’m joking.” he says then, and she rolls her eyes. He’s good. He’s really good and she will give him that.
Travis steals her cheek one last kiss, then slowly lets go off her. Taylor doesn’t speak, just feels the dizziness in her head from the kiss before. She feels like she’s in trance whenever they touch. A sexual energy between them that she’s never felt before. It’s taunting. It’s addictive. A form of lust that overcomes her and is hard to stop. She slowly sits down on the side of the bed in her back little dress. She watches him press a button at the end of the room and slowly but surely the electric curtains in the bedroom close. The city disappears slowly. Instead, all there is left is him and her, in this room. In this bed.
With one grip, she’s slipped of the Louboutin heels from her feet and looks back at him. He takes off his expensive watch and places it on the bedside table next to him, then looks at her with a shy smile. Something about this gesture almost makes her abdomen tingle even more.
“Is it weird that we basically spent more time having sex today than actually doing something else together whilst you’re in the city?” she breaks the silence between them. Travis chuckles once, takes off his blazer and unbuttons his white shirt. His muscular chest is exposed now. Taylor swallows.
“Turn around and let me open your dress.” he says confidently, sitting right next to her on the side of the bed. Taylor giggles. She won’t get an answer to her question anymore. And why would she? It was a stupid question. So stupid when there’s this energy between them. A physical need. Not a want. A need.
She feels his lips on her neck. A gentle touch. So gentle that it almost hurts. She closes her eyes, the sound of the zipper of her dress audible in the air. After a few seconds, his lips let go off her skin and Taylor can feel her dress falling off her shoulder. Being nakes has always been such a holy grail for her. A sacred state of being that only few people on this earth have been privy of. She slowly gets up, doesn’t need to move a lot to feel the dress falling from her body and right onto her bare feet. She’s standing right in front of him now. Naked. Nothing but her thong covering her body. He looks up at her body, two big hands on her waist now. He feels the same. She can tell in the way his eyes are begging her in this moment.
“Beautiful. Just..”
He doesn’t need to say anything else. His face pressed into her bare stomach. His kisses making it hard for her to breath. She closes her eyes again. Her small hands on his short hair. His scalp. His shoulders. She wants him everywhere. She wants to jump off a cliff, right now, and jump into the ocean with him. The ocean in his eyes that she could drown into.
“Lay down for me, baby.”
She doesn’t need him to say it twice. She slowly moves with him, the back of her head gladly finding the big soft pillow on the hotel bed. Travis just smiles at her. She does, too. A rush of insecurity overcoming her. But he won’t allow it. Within a minute his weight is on hers, and Travis makes sure to kiss her in the most passionate way he knows. His hand wandering up and down her body. She needs him. She really does. He can feel the sensation in her panties. He slowly ends the kiss, wanders down her throat and up to her chest. He slowly moves down, keeping eye contact with her.
“Is it okay if I..”
“Yes.” she breathes heavily, her eyes focused on the way he kisses her inner thighs. She can’t remember the last time she’s been so out of breath. She wants this. She wants this so badly. Her eyes are closing softly and her hands finally find his head. And then it’s there. The most satisfying sensation in the world. His tongue doing its magic. His hands are everywhere. She opens her eyes once, could swear she’s seeing stars on the ceiling, then closes them again. She needs no eyes in the moment. The only thing she needs is this feeling.
Just this feeling.
She looks back at him, then laughs again and makes sure to spread both legs and arms as much as she physically can. It’s warm in here. It’s hot. Her bangs sticky against her forehead. She needs to cool down, doesn’t mind her thigh now laying directly over his. Who needs a blanket when it’s so sweaty in this room.
“God, that.. that last thing you did. When you.. when you turned around in the end..” she mumbles, feels him turning to the side. He’s still as naked as she is. His big hand slowly wanders to her stomach. He loves listening to her talk. He loves how she rambles after sex. The skin on her stomach so soft under his fingertips.
“God that was so good.”
He smiles.
“You liked that?” he asks quietly, and she nods. She appreciates his hand drawing circles on her stomach. She turns her head to him again. This time, he can see it clearly. She’s sweaty. Her cheeks a bit redder than per usual. She’s her truest self in this moment. Exhaustion taking over her body.
“Yeah that felt so good. Gosh.” she gushes, and it makes him smile. He loves that he’s good at this. He loves that he knows how to pleasure her.
“You’re.. you’re something else.” he mumbles then, right into the skin on her bare shoulder. She laughs. Her hand now on top of his. He seems exhausted, too. And it feels so right. Sleeping with him, being naked with him, indulging in her fantasies with him has never felt so right with anyone.
“We’re good at this. Really good.”
“One could say we’re excellent.”
“The best. Clearly at the top of our game.”
Taylor turns her head to the side again, starts laughing with him. They both know that this is what people have been saying recently. Two winners, both at the top of their game in their industries. And it’s not wrong. They have these certain similarities. Competitiveness. A drive.
Taylor’s giggles slowly fizzle out. It’s quiet again. She’s still staring at the ceiling with a relaxed look on her face. He watches her. She doesn’t move at all. His hand still stroking up and down her stomach. He can feel the little scar close to her abdomen, gently runs his fingers up and down. He knows exactly where that scar is coming from. He knows exactly how much this beautiful, soft, strong body has been through. Childbirth just one detail of her body’s life before him. Before he got a taste of it.
“I’ll.. I’ll go pee quickly.” she mumbles then, slowly untwines herself from him. He watches her sit up at the side of the bed. He can see her hesitating for a second whether she should reach for her dress on the floor. He grins when she decides to just get up and make her way into the little bathroom by the end of the suite. She closes the door. He turns around, takes a deep breath. This time it’s him facing the ceiling.
“Okay, but like.. what is the craziest thing you’ve done before? Or maybe crazy is the wrong word. Just.. what is the most spontaneous thing you’ve done?” Travis asks her. He’s still sitting in bed with her. Shorts covering his body and the pizza box he ordered before on his lap. He looks at the blonde woman next to him, enjoys seeing her so focused on inhaling the slice she just reached for. They’ve ordered at her favourite pizza place in New York. She insisted on convincing him that New York really does have the best fast food in the country.
“Spontaneous as in… sexy, or?”
He chuckles, looks up at her amusedly. How can anyone look so good after sex? Her hair is a bit curlier than before, but she looks incredible. It’s safe to say that she’s not aware how attractive she is. And Travis would know. He’s been with different woman who clearly were very much aware of their looks. Taylor is not. And maybe, just maybe, this is what makes this so magical with her. Everytime she strokes her hair behind her ear, is when he realizes. He’s completely smitten by this woman. More than he would like to ever admit.
“I get that sex with me is probably one of the best experiences of your life, but I actually meant in general. Spontaneous in the sense of… breaking into a museum at night, getting a tattoo at a night out.”
She swallows her pizza, then looks around thinking.
“I cut my hair once. But that was less spontaneous and more…”
“Are you telling me that the craziest and most impulsive thing you’ve done was getting a haircut?”
She looks at the shock in his face and giggles, reaches for one of the napkins on the bed to clean her mouth.
“I’m boring, okay. I was literally a fifty year old woman caught in the body of a twenty year old. I don’t.. I don’t do crazy. I’m a mom now.” she says, and Travis still shakes his head. He’s not having any of this.
“Moms don’t need to be boring.” he says, takes one last bite from the pizza and closes the cardboard box. “Okay, tell me one thing you always wanted to do in New York but never did.” he says, and Taylor looks at him with a questioning smile. Is this tuning into a truth or dare? She enjoys these mundane conversations with him. She reaches for the bedsheets again, feels a bit cold now sitting naked in bed with him. She looks around the room, allows a moment of silence to take over while thinking about his question.
“I always wanted to get more piercings in my ears. Like.. a helix one, and maybe here. I just thought that looks so cool.” she points at the outside of her ears.
“But then I never did it because I’m used to the general public picking on anything I do and I don’t want holes in my ears to become another national headline. And then one of my stylists was like.. I don’t know, he said I’m too old for that and I feel like if he says it then it’s probably..”
“Bullshit. I’m calling massive bullshit.” he says, slowly gets up and leaves her sitting in the hotel bed.
“What are you doing?”
“Get your panties, get your dress. We’re getting your ears pierced now.”
Taylor looks at this tall man getting dressed, and just starts laughing out loud.
“Are you crazy? Are you having a stroke? I’m not…”
“Life’s too short, baby. You gotta think less sometimes.”
She giggles again. She can’t believe him.
“Trav, it’s eleven PM. There’s no way any place is open. Also there will be paparazzi..”
“Give me your phone.”
“Travis.” she says again, laughing, hates the fact that she is intrigued. Yes, he is crazy and yes, this is not how she expected to spend the evening tonight. But then also, she always wanted to get her ears pierced. And she’s enjoying this a tad too much. She hesitates for a second, then looks back at his face. She’s still wrapped into the blanket of his hotel room whilst he’s standing in front of her fully dressed. He looks good, so say the least. She’s still in awe over how big he is. How small she feels next to him. How eye-to-eye it is to speak with him though. She sighs.
“I will regret this. I will so regret this.”
“Nervous?” he asks, sitting in the big black car with the tinted windows. He’s right next to her in the backseat, has noticed her stares out of the windows a few minutes before already. She’s been moving her leg uncontrollably. It’s hard to imagine that a few minutes ago they’ve been loved up in this hotel room, naked bodies as close as can be. She’s sitting next to him as well put together as before now. Her lipstick reapplied. Her hair brushed. The dress he unzipped before, now fully covering her body again. She turns her head around. She smirks. He likes how much she does that.
“Honestly, is it embarrassing if I say yes?” she says, then laughs a bit insecure, and so does he.
“No, it’s not embarrassing. I mean.. I’m sure it will hurt a bit. But it’s not that bad. So many people have multiple piercings.”
“I literally have to remind myself that I’ve had contractions before. Like.. I have experienced worse pain. I know I can get through this.” she says ironically, looking out of the window again and calming herself a little. He smiles. It’s cute how nervous she is. It’s cute that she’s doing this. It’s cute that he had a ridiculous idea, and she just rolls with it. He never expected her to. Another way of her surprising him to the core. She’s not at all who people said she was. Not in the slightest. The car starts at a red light. It’s still raining outside.
“Did you.. was.. was your baby girl born in.. in England?” he finds his courage to ask her this. He doesn’t want to overstep his boundaries. He doesn’t want to say something he will regret. She faces him, and the look on her face is more relaxed than he expected. She nods.
“Yeah, I had a c-section in London. That’s where her dad and me used to live. Everyone told me to get a natural birth but like.. I felt like I have nothing to prove and I don’t mind the little scar on my stomach.”
He listens to her talk about this topic, so lightly, so calm, so free. It’s impressive that she’s able to do that. He’s been with his ex- girlfriend for only five years with no child involved. Yet he still struggles to talk about this time in his life. A lot of admiration for how strong she is in his eyes. She notices that, too. Even through the dark of the night in the car.
“Is it.. is it different to raise her here than in London?”
“Not at all. I feel like it’s easier because I have my family here, and my friends. In London it was just.. his family and his friends.” she swallows. She doesn’t need to speak any further. He knows exactly what the result of that was. She had to leave them behind. She had to leave her life there behind.
“It’s good to have family close. I could never imagine raising kids without my mom close.”
She looks at the big man next to her, surprised to hear this from him. She didn’t expect him to say something like this. He didn’t seem like the family-oriented person to her.
“Miss? We’re there.”
Taylor looks at her security driving them. For a moment, she gets nervous again.
“Okay thanks.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, I’m good. Travis will come with me so..”
He smiles for a second, knows damn well that she didn’t mean it this way. But it did something to him. She feels safe with him.
“Let’s go?” he asks. She nods, assures herself once more that there’s no paparazzi close. Before she can open the door, Taylor notices him getting out of the car on the other side of the door. Instead of rushing into the shop that has a lid up ‘Tattoo & Piercing’ sign on up on the front door, he makes his way to her side of the car. Even though rain is pouring down like crazy. He opens the door for her. A gesture she’s not used to. But she appreciates it. She appreciates it a lot.
“Thanks.” she just says, and he doesn’t have to reply. With a nervous stomach she makes her way with him into the small piercing studio.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” she whispers into his ear, making him laugh.
“You know what? After this, I’m taking you to this place next door for a drink. You’ll need one.”
She laughs at him, hits him in the side then. His talk just makes her more nervous.
“Don’t say that. I’m scared now.” she overexaggerates in a high pitched voice. It makes him laugh. He can feel her small hands clutching onto his arm. And he likes it. He really does.
“Okay, you sure about this?”
Travis looks at the blonde woman in front of him. She’s sitting on one of the high chairs. The piercing specialists continues cleaning his tools. Travis has gotten his ears pierced too before. Yet the needles on this silver plate really do make his stomach churn for her. She does look terrified, but she’s playing it cool. He can tell. She’s gotten rid of her jacket already, had to use some hairclips to free her ears from any hair tangling down her cheek.
“Don’t ask me that. This was your idea, remember?”
He laughs, has now sat down on the chair next to her. The studio is playing an old record from Nirvana. 2005. He gets flashbacks from when he was a teenager listening to this now. An odd vibe in here. She takes a deep breath. He feels a little bit bad now for pushing her to do something crazy tonight.
“It’s not too late to back out yet.” he reassures her. Taylor’s eyes fall onto the silver tray with the different needles. Was she crazy for choosing three piercings at once?
“It’s fine. I always wanted to do this. I will live.”
Just when Travis was about to say some more words of encouragement, the piercer gets closer to her. It’s a slender man in his late twenties. His arms are full of tattoes and he’s got more than one piercing himself. He looks like he’s got lots of experience in this. Thank god.
“Okay, so we will do the left ear first because this one is closest to your heart. So blood flow in that ear is especially high so this will hurt the most. We’ll get it done very quickly, and once i’m through with the needle I will adjust the jewelry in the end, okay?” Taylor nods. Her hands are sweaty. Why does she always get herself in these ridiculous, insane, crazy situations. She was supposed to just grab dinner and have sex with this handsome man next to her. Instead, she ended up in a piercing studio at midnight, getting her ears pierced in her mid thirties. What even?
“It might be bleeding a bit, so I will cover your dress.” the man says, and Taylor shares a look with Travis. He can’t help but laugh. Just the look on her face makes him nersvous too all of the sudden.
“I think this is the time for you to hold her hand.” the man says to Travis with a smile. Just when Taylor was about to counter him is when Travis has adjusted himself with a smile. He’s immediately reached for both her hands, rubs the back of her hand again and again. She just awaits the pain in her ear, but is way too distracted by the look he’s giving her. This big, overarching smile in his face. His thumbs and his pointing fingers rubbing her sweaty hands constantly. She never thought he would be such an effective distraction. An effective distraction until she can feel it. The stinging pain in her ear. She expected this to hurt but she didn’t expect it to hurt so much. She presses her eyes together, her hands squeezing his. She feels her body fighting this, her breath increasing. “Almost done, Taylor. Almost done.”
And then, it’s over, As she opens her eyes she can see Travises worried look. He laughs at her shocked face, but there definitely is a hint of worry.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his hands still in hers.
“Yup. I… wow. Didn’t expect this to hurt this much.” she says. She clearly notices her sweaty hands and wonders why Travis won’t let go off them.
“Yeah the left ear is always the worst. But you did a great job. The other two won’t be as bad.” the man says, after having fixed the little diamond ring on Taylor’s ear.
“Oh god, why did I go for three. Am I crazy?”
“You can also just stick with one for now.” Travis says then, and Taylor can see his face watching the blood on the little white cloth in the guy’s hand. He now knows why he never wanted to get a piercing before.
“Listen. Two dates with you and I come home with a hole in my ear. Now let me at least finish what you started.” she says, and he’s surprised that she really wants to go through with it. The piercer just laughs quietly and Taylor feels Travis adjust the grip on her hands.
“Sorry about my sweaty hands..” she says quietly. He just smiles, shakes his head.
“Won’t let go of those. Can try as much as you want.”
She doesn’t move, really, can’t move. Just smiles at him sitting there with her. It’s absurd, it’s childish. It’s a fresh start. She’s living again. In a weird way, being in pain like this with no expectation really feels like she’s living again.
“I.. I can’t believe I did this. I won’t be able to sleep on the side for like a year now, but.. I did it.” she giggles sitting in the car again. Her hands are still shaky, and she would be lying if she said she feels great. Her ears are hot and pounding. She knows its late and she knows she should make her way home now. But Ashley texted her twice this evening that she should go for another drink with him after her spontaneous appointment, and that she’s more than fine watching Grey’s Anatomy with the cats at her house.
“I’m so proud. Dude. That looked really hurtful. You’re so badass.” he laughs, and she reaches for his hand again. The second time tonight. She’s never done that before. Never crossed the line from meaningless sex to.. holding hands. But he knows she’s buzzed. She’s on a high from doing something she never had the courage to do. And he’s here for it. He’s here for every second of it.
“Thanks for pushing me to do this. Really. I never would’ve done it if..”
Taylor’s rambling is interrupted by her phone buzzing. She starts digging in her handbag momentarily. Confused, she immediately takes the call from Ashley. Her heart dropping the second she picks up. Ashley is sitting on her couch, but she’s not alone. Eleanor is pressed against her chest, Ashley’s hand securely on her forehead.
“Tay, I’m so sorry for calling you but..”
“What happened?” she says panicky, completely forgets the fact that she’s not alone in the car.
“She woke up crying and told me she’s got a stomach ache. So I wanted to tug her in again but she wouldn’t stop crying and shivering. I think she has a fever. And she’s asking for you. If you want, I can..”
“No, no. Don’t worry. I’m coming home.” she says. Travis doesn’t react to anything she says, just instantly leans forward to let the driver know that they’re changing route. And it’s not even a question for him. This is Taylor’s daughter. And she needs her mother now.
“Are you sure?” Ashley says again, “I was gonna suggest to give her some paracetamol and..”
“Mommy.” Taylor suddenly hears in her ears, and it wrenches her heart.
“Oh baby.” Taylor mumbles, can’t stand seeing her little angel with hot and reddened cheeks crying for her.
“Mommy come home, mommy.” she sobs. Taylor takes a deep breath, just looks at Travis who shows her all his sympathy. He’s never met Taylor’s little girl. But this one crying sentence alone is pulling on his heart strings.
“I will, my love. I’m on my way. I’ll be home in just a few minutes okay?” Taylor says, trying to calm her crying baby. Ashley lowers her head, kisses Eleanor’s curly head a few times.
“I’ll be there soon, honey. I promise.”
“Okay, say ‘see you soon momma’” Ashley says to Eleanor, who slowly calms down but still doesn’t seem happy. Taylor swallows, then Ashley hangs up. Taylor takes a deep breath, looks out of the window. How could she not have noticed that Eleanor was coming down with something. How could she be out and about in town, all night, now knowing her baby was developing a fever.
“Oh god, I.. I’m sorry Trav. I really have to go home and..”
“Of course. We’re already changing direction.” he just says, and she looks back at him. This was supposed to be fun. She feels bad for ending the evening on such a low note.
“I’m really sorry, but..”
“Hey, no question. Your baby girl needs you. Poor thing.”
“I.. I’m really worried. I know this is stupid. But she hasn’t been sick in ages. I think she only had a fever once when she was a baby. Really. And if her tummy hurts? What if.. what if she’s got appendicitis? Oh gosh, I should call my parents.” Taylor keeps on mumbling to herself, already starring into her phone again. She suddenly feels Travises big hand on hers, forcing her to put her phone down.
“Hey, how about.. how about I stay the night at your place. And you can take care of your baby girl and I’ll take care of you. I can help you call a doctor and..”
“No, that’s not a good idea.” she suddenly interrupts him. Her tone suddenly has changed and he can’t really tell why. She can’t dare look into his face anymore, and he doesn’t get why. Did he say something wrong?
“Wh.. why?”
“Why?” she asks him, almost mad at him for asking. He can’t recognize her all of the sudden. Her face angry and her voice much louder than before. None if that gentleness in her tone. None of those giggles, those soft moans, those peppered kisses in his ear.
“Are you seriously asking me why I don’t want you to spend the night with me at my house where my child is sick?”
Travis doesn’t react, just waits for her to say it.
“I was just.. I just wanted to help, Taylor.”
“Okay.. I..” she gets mad, her chest heaving again. He really can’t recognize her right now. “I think I need to clarify something. You and me? This is sex, okay? We’re having fun.”
He doesn’t say anything else. He knows she’s waiting for a reaction, but he won’t. She won’t get to see him angry tonight.
“Do you understand that she’s never seen me with another man than her father? Do you understand that she just moved to another country, left her friends behind, her house, her pets… she.. I can’t introduce her to every man I encounter with. Especially not when she’s sick.”
Travis dares to look back at her face. She’s angry. She’s full of emotion. Full of energy. And he knows why she says all these things. She blames herself for this. She blames herself for having gone out with him tonight instead of staying with her daughter. She blames herself for actually considering for a second that it would have been a good idea to have him stay the night. He knows that, even if she fights the thought so much.
“I get it. Just sex. No need to get upset.”
He doesn’t say anything else. It gets quiet in the car. She looks at her phone screen, trying so desperately to seem distracted. Then, after a few seconds she looks at him. His face on the streets of the city. She swallows. Closes her eyes then. She knows she was too harsh. But she also knows that this was never supposed to happen. Him getting the idea that he has a right to know Eleanor. It was just supposed to be a date. Just sex. Just fun, nothing more.
“We’re here, miss.”
Taylor unbuckles her seatbelt.
“I.. I’m sorry for..”
Travis doesn’t react. She can see in his face that he’s hurt by her reaction. She got emotional. Too emotional. It’s admirable that he didn’t yell back at her after this.
“I know. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
Taylor doesn’t say anything else. She reaches for her handbag, then looks back at him for a second. She looks at him, but nothing. Nothing else to say.
“Okay, bye.” she whispers while leaving the car.
“Bye.”
