#chrischoi

It had been two weeks since Will and Chris last hung out. Two long and boring weeks. Chris didn’t know what happened. One day, they were sitting in his room together, listening to music, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Chris was a little upset that day, but he understood why Will wasn’t getting the hint about how he felt. However, the next day and the weeks after that, Will started pulling back. He wouldn’t talk to Chris the same way or light up with that smile the ravenette adored so much. He was silent in art and anytime he did open his mouth to say something, his voice was filled with a nervous tremble that was hard to miss. 

Even now, as they were walking down the hall together towards the cafeteria, Will didn’t say a word. He looked like he couldn’t wait to get away. And so, without warning, Chris grabbed his bicep and pulled him into an empty classroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. He put a cover over the little window, so no one would notice the two where they shouldn’t be, before turning back to Will. 

“Why are you avoiding me?”

Will looked startled, both by the question and by being dragged into the classroom so suddenly. He looked at Chris with a terror in his eyes, knowing he’d been caught doing exactly what Chris said. The brunette was so scared, afraid of saying the real reason he had been acting the way he had. So terrified of revealing the truth he felt like he could never say.

“I-I’m not…” he tried to lie. But Chris wasn’t having it. 

“Yes, you are. Why?” Chris persisted. 

Will’s heart pounded in his chest. He didn’t want to say it, but he knew he was running out of options. Chris wasn’t gonna give it up–he knew Will a little too well for that, even after such a short time. Chris paid too much attention to him to believe any lie he tried to give him. He hoped he wouldn’t regret what he was about to tell the taller boy. He would break down and cry for sure, but maybe, just maybe, he would find someone who knew him for who he was, and not who he pretended to be. 

“I didn’t understand it at first… the song…” He started to stumble over his words, his eyes glossing over. “I-I didn’t pay enough attention. Once I did understand, I didn’t know what to do – I didn’t–” He sobbed out the last word. “I didn’t know if what I thought – what I think – you meant was the truth.”

Chris paused for a moment, studying the crying boy in front of him. His heart was breaking into pieces just at the sight of his tears. He knew this was coming, though. He knew Will would be scared when he finally understood what Chris had been telling him. But he still asked.

“Are you scared of the truth?”

All Will could do was look at him and nod through his tears. Chris couldn’t take it. He grabbed the boy by the shoulder and pulled him into his arms. One arm went around his shoulders and the other around his waist. Will set his hands on Chris’ biceps, crying into his shoulder. 

“It’s okay… I’m scared too,” Chris started. “But I can’t keep hiding how I feel about you.” Will pulled away to look up at Chris, his heart beating even faster than it already was. “I just can’t,” the ravenette shook his head, staring into Will’s eyes. 

Will let out a shaky breath. Chris glanced down toward his lips. If he did this now, there was no going back. “I really, really like you, Will Byers.” 

Then… he did it. He leaned in slowly, giving Will enough time to pull away if he wanted to, before crashing their lips together. Will freezes for a moment, before melting into the kiss. Chris exhales through his nose, deepening the kiss. He cups Will’s face in his hands, just holding him there, savoring this moment. This is what he’s been wanting for months, and now that it was happening he just wanted to enjoy this, alone with Will in the empty classroom. 

Will’s mind was going a hundred miles a minute. His friends back in Hawkins all had partners before and had dating experience, but he had never done this before. His hands were shaking as one hovered over the back of Chris’ head before placing it there, feeling the silky strands. The other stayed where it was on the older’s bicep. He couldn’t help but think about how right this felt, despite everyone thinking it was so wrong. He finally felt safe in this unfamiliar place, finally knowing he wasn’t as alone as he felt. 

They slowly pulled away from each other, Chris looking at Will with an adoration Will had never seen before. Chris let out a laugh, letting his left hand fall to Will’s hip while his right thumb brushes his cheek, wiping away a stray tear from before. Will gives him a soft smile, not really knowing what to do now. 

“You okay?” Chris smiles.

“Yeah…” Will nods. It felt so freeing to be with Chris. 

“So… How do you feel about… me?” Chris asks, as if Will didn’t just kiss back.

“I thought it was kind of obvious,” Will laughed a little. Chris just looked up with his eyes, nodding while letting out hum. 

“So does this mean… we could like… do that regularly… or…?” Chris teased. 

“Chris!” Will exclaimed, laughing again. 

Around the end of the semester and Christmas break, Chris had cemented himself into the Byers’ lives. He was always hanging out in Will’s room or even sneaking a joint with Jonathan and Argyle. Chris made an effort to include El whenever he invited Will to Rink-O-Mania, even when he really only wanted Will to come… 

One day, though, instead of being at Will’s, the two boys hung out at Chris’ house. Chris put in a cassette into the player like he always did as Will took out his sketchbook that he never seemed to put down these days. After a few minutes, Will noticed that the cassette tape Chris had put in was a mixtape. 

“Did you make this one?” He asked. 

“Yeah, just recently. You like it?” Chris replied. 

“Yeah! I-I was just wondering…”

Several songs passed such as “Somebody to Love”and “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” by Queen, and “I Want to Know What Love Is” by Foreigner. Chris would look over at Will as he was messing with his guitar. For once, Will did not seem to be aware of the older boy’s gaze directed at him. Chris went back to cleaning his guitar as “Boys Don’t Cry” by The Cure began to play. 

“This song reminds me of you,” Chris laughed. 

Will looked up and scoffed before saying, “Why? Because you were listening to it when you tripped over me?” He recalled the memory of their first interaction so clearly. It was a moment engraved in his mind forever. 

Chris tilted his head, still looking at his guitar, “Well, yes, that. But maybe, you need to just listen to know why.”

“I would tell you that I loved you, if I thought that you would stay.”

After that line, Chris looked up at Will so fast he could have sworn he had gotten whiplash. But, Will was still looking at his sketchbook and didn’t seem to notice the disappointed look in the ravenette’s eyes. He was trying so hard to tell the Byers boy how he felt without actually telling him and music was how he communicated best. The lyric he wanted to convey, however, seemed to fall on deaf ears. 

Chris sighed to himself and closed his eyes, trying not to cry as he felt his efforts were going to waste, just trying to keep laughing with the boy he desperately wanted to be with all the time. 

“But I just keep on laughing, hiding the tears in my eyes ‘cause boys don’t cry.”

______________________________________________________________

A few days later, Will was in his room sketching. Just Will. There was no Chris to play guitar for him or make him laugh as he drew. There was no Chris to play mixtapes they would listen to for hours. The brunette was trying to draw something new, expand his horizons, if you will. But, as always over the last month or so, the drawing turned into one of Chris Choi. 

Will noticed this and leaned back in his chair with an exasperated sigh. He liked Chris a lot, but how could he ever tell him that? It’s not like he would like him back and he would be humiliated and ridiculed by the whole town for asking another boy out. He looked over to the cassette player with the stack of tapes next to it and started towards it. 

He found the mixtape Chris had made and played when they hung out the other day and put it in the player. He sat back down and started to draw on a new page as he listened to the songs on the tape. Will noticed that most of the songs in the mixtape had something to do with love, something he hadn’t taken note of before. Then “Boys Don’t Cry” started to play. 

“This song reminds me of you,” Chris laughed. 

Will remembered him saying that. He thought it was just because of the time they first met in that hallway. 

“Well, yes, that. But maybe, you need to just listen to know why.”

He hadn’t really listened that day. Didn’t take Chris’ words too seriously. But remembering what he had said, he decided to take his advice and really listen. And as the third verse started, he finally understood what Chris was trying to say.

“I would tell you that I loved you, if I thought that you would stay.”

When that line hit, Will’s breath caught in his throat and his eyes widened. His heart pounded in his chest. This whole time, Chris was telling him that he liked him… or maybe was even in love with him and he didn’t notice. The boy he’s been harboring feelings for for the last two months. 

But Will couldn’t find himself to feel relieved. If anything, he was even more scared than he was before. Somehow it was easier not knowing. Somehow, Will felt like Chris liking him back made things more complicated. Of course a part of him was happy, ecstatic even, but nothing could help him overcome the fear he felt in this moment. 

And so, Will Byers found himself crying in his room as the tape continued to play, frightened out of his mind for the future that awaited him.  

Chris watched the clock with bated breath. Thirty more seconds and he would be leaving his new favorite class. Thirty more seconds and he would be walking out of the art room with Will Byers, only to have to say goodbye to him about a minute later. 

The bell then rang as everyone in the room got up and left. Chris just stayed seated for a minute, watching them all go. He then glanced at the boy across from him. Will closed his sketchbook and packed up to leave as well when he noticed the ravenette looking at him. He averts his gaze back to his stuff, a little flustered. Chris stands and slings his bag over his shoulder then turns back to Will. 

“You gonna head to class early today?” Chris asks, receiving a nod from the brunette boy. 

They walk out of the art room and start walking down the hall toward Will’s next class. Chris couldn’t help but steal several little glances at the boy next to him as they talked. Will was focused on getting to class, but he always seemed to notice when Chris was looking at him. He adjusted the strap on his backpack, trying not to look back at him. Someone then bumps into Chris, causing him to shift closer to Will. The Byers boy’s heart started pounding so loud in his ears at the proximity that he didn’t notice Chris trying to continue their conversation.

“Hello? Byers?” Chris waved his hand in front of Will’s face. 

“Oh, uh, sorry. Zoned out. What’d you say?” Will quickly recovered. 

“I asked what you got on that last project,” Chris raised an eyebrow before quickly looking back in front of him. 

“I got an A. What about you?” 

“Dude, I failed. You know I’m shit at drawing. I can only draw stick figures.” The raven haired boy threw his head back, then rolled it to look at the brunette. Will huffed a laugh, knowing it was true. Chris just smiled, happy to have made the boy laugh. 

They soon approached Will’s next class and the boys bid their goodbyes before Will entered the room. Chris kept walking a little further down the hall until he saw a very familiar face. 

“Argyle!”

A boy with dark hair that fell to his hips turned to look at Chris, a smile growing on his face. He had been talking to another boy, another senior Chris presumed, with brown hair and tired eyes. The other boy also turned to see Chris jogging up to them. 

“Chris! My dude! What’s up, man?” Argyle greeted. “Chris, let me introduce you to my new pal, Jonathan Byers. Jonathan, this,” Argyle paused, “is Christopher Choi.”

“Chris is fine. Nice to meet you, man. Say, are you related to Will by any chance?” Chris asked, hearing the familiar last name. 

“Yeah, nice to meet you, too. I’m Will’s older brother,” Jonathan explained, taking note of Chris’ tone when he mentioned his younger brother. 

“Cool, cool, cool. I’m a sophomore, but I have art with him.”

“Cool.” Jonathan then turned back to Argyle before asking, “So, how do you know each other so well if he’s in a lower grade?”

Argyle claps Chris on the shoulder then answers, “Dude, we had detention together this one time. This guy right here got caught smoking it up in the bathrooms, and I got caught doing the same out back. We got to talking, and a beautiful friendship formed.”

“Do you really have to tell him all that?” Chris chastised while lowering his head and looking off to the side. He wasn’t sure what kind of person Jonathan was yet, but he was sure that he didn’t want to be on his bad side if he wanted to get closer to Will. 

“Nah, man. Jonathan’s cool,” Argyle assured him, clapping him on the shoulder once again. “You headed to Rink-O-Mania later?”

Chris nods, “Yeah, I’ve gotta work. Picked up a shift for a co-worker.”

“Great! Jonathan and I were thinking about swinging by for milkshakes or something.”

“Would you mind giving me a ride, then? My folks are out of town for work right now, and I really don’t wanna walk if I’m being honest.” It was true. Chris’ parents had a business trip they were attending and Chris didn’t have a car of his own. All he had was a skateboard that he had conveniently left at home that day, only to get pissed at himself when he remembered he had to work that afternoon. 

“Sure, man! Anything for you!” Argyle was all too happy to provide assistance. 

“So does that mean Will might come with you guys, too?” Chris not-so-discreetly asked while glancing at Jonathan. Jonathan quickly took note of this, too. 

“Uh, yeah, I can ask him and Jane if they wanna come. Otherwise, we might have to drop them off at home before going back,” Jonathan replied. 

“Okay!” Chris nodded quickly with wide eyes. He was all too excited now at the prospect of Will coming to his workplace. Before he knew it, the next bell rang, signalling that class was starting. 

Over the last few months, Chris has really made an effort to become closer to the Byers boy. The one who interests him more than anyone else he has ever found intriguing. He started talking to Will in art class every single day. It took a little time, but eventually, he broke through the wall around the brunet boy and was able to learn so much about him. He learned that he used to live in a town called Hawkins, Indiana. He learned that he loved the game Dungeons & Dragons. Will told him all about his friends back home and how they all would play the game together for hours.

Chris would tell Will about how much he loved music and about his favorite bands and artists. He would soon learn that Will absolutely adored The Clash, specifically their song "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?”. He quickly made a mental note of that. They bonded over their love of Bowie and Chris gushed about how much he could listen to the album “The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars” over and over again. Chris told Will how he works at Rink-O-Mania and that he should “swing by sometime”, to which Will shyly agreed to. Will learned that Chris wrote his own music and was writing all the time.

At lunch, Will and El saw a lot more of Chris. When he wasn’t in the school’s music room, he was sitting at the table in the cafeteria with them. The first time Chris sat with them was the first time El met him. He had seen the bullying she had been subjected to and made an effort to get to know her as well, but she noticed he had more of an interest in Will. She had also noticed that Will began to smile a lot more than he had been in the months since they moved to Lenora, and she attributed this to his friendship with Chris. She was happy Will had found someone to talk to, even if she wasn’t having the same luck herself. 

The Byers family started to see a lot more of Chris over time. Will started inviting him over to their house at least twice a week, when they would go up to his room and listen to mixtapes and just talk. Sometimes Chris would bring his guitar and play while Will would draw or paint. 

Speaking of drawing, Will found himself drawing Chris all of the time. He wouldn’t even try. But somehow, a landscape would turn into the face of the ravenette with blonde highlights and his delicate features that were hardened during the school day, but would soften in the privacy of their rooms. Sometimes he got frustrated by this. He felt like he couldn’t draw anything without somehow diverting his original plan to a new one involving the boy around whom he felt his heart start to race. In fact, Will found himself thinking of Mike Wheeler less and less. His thoughts were now flooded with flannel, a guitar, and the one those things belonged to. 

Will’s brain was overflowing with thoughts of Christopher Choi. As if it wasn’t bad enough that he had a crush on Mike before. There was no way Chris felt the same. So, Will pushed his feelings down. He wouldn’t be able to handle the shame that would come with Chris knowing how he felt on top of the shame he already feels about himself for being the way he is. Chris would never look at him in the same way if he knew. He would hate him for sure…

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In the case of Chris Choi, he found himself writing songs about how he felt about Will obsessively. Whenever he spent some time with Will, Chris would rush home right after to write even more. He made mixtapes for the boy with hazel eyes and a pretty smile that he thought was one of the most precious things in the world. He always found himself trying to make Will happy, just to see that smile. Chris desperately wanted to play the one mixtape he made, full of love songs and songs that reminded him of Will, for him. 

Chris knew how he felt about Will, but felt no shame about it. The only reason he hadn’t said anything yet is that he can see how Will views himself, and of course the societal pressure weighing on both of their shoulders. He would never rush Will into anything he was not ready for. 

Once the Byers and El moved to Lenora Hills, Will, Jonathan, and El started attending Lenora Hills High. During this transition time in their lives, Will was trying to come up with ideas and concepts for the painting he planned to make for Mike. Will didn’t want the sketch to be good enough; he wanted it to be perfect. He was struggling to come up with a concrete plan for his painting and made multiple sketches.

 While sitting on the hallway floor, a boy with shoulder-length black hair and blonde highlights tripped over him while listening to what sounded like Boys Don't Cry by The Cure on his walkman. Will saw that the boy was Chris Choi, a sophomore he had come to learn a bit about throughout his short time in Lenora. Will had noticed before that when Chris listens to music, he tends to tune out the outside world, making him unaware of his surroundings. 

After the impact, Will’s sketchbook flew out of his hand along with his pencil and eraser. Chris drew his headphones off of his head and turned back to Will, switching his walkman off. “Sorry…” Chris apologized as he helped Will gather his belongings. 

“That’s okay… Thank you,” Will replied after taking his sketchbook from Chris’ hands. Chris gave him a nod and straightened up. He pulled his headphones back on and began to replay the tape as he walked off, leaving Will on the ground, eyes following him as he left.

______________________________________________________________

As it so happens, Will and Chris had art class together, every day. Will took the class because of the genuine interest in art that he’s always had. While in class, Will found out that Chris only took art because he didn’t care enough to pick his own classes, so the counselor picked them for him. 

The two had been seated at the same table since the beginning of the year, face-to-face, due to assigned alphabetical order seating. In the short time since school started, neither one of them had struck up a conversation with the other. It seemed Will was too shy, and Chris just hadn’t been bothered. He was known to be a bit of a loner anyway.

Will normally had a bit of extra time in class. He liked to finish his assignments quickly and with his aptitude for art, that always seemed to happen. During this time, he would sketch out the painting he was planning. Chris seemed to become interested in Will’s drawings throughout the semester. 

“Whatcha working on? Is that for class or…?” Chris leans over the table to peek at Will’s sketchbook. 

“Um.. No, it’s not for the assignment. I-I finished early so I’m just working on something else,” Will responded, looking a bit startled and a little shy. 

“Oh? Is it for someone?” 

“Yea… it’s for a painting I’m gonna do… for my friend…” Suddenly, Will looks even more closed off than he already did. Tilting his head, Chris narrows his eyes, pouting a bit. He looks down at the sketch and back at Will.